DISCLAIMER: You will soon see why I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh in a minute…

RATED: PG-13. Oh, the torture of already existing characters…

Warning: This fic is very, very mean to Seto Kaiba. If you are a Kaiba fan and are reading this just so you could flame me, please leave now.

…Wait a minute! That's like, 99 percent of you! O_O No, wait. Err… Come back, come back. Better. ^_^ Actually, you might enjoy this because it is EXTERMELY funny, and it deals with a situation that happens to everyone during adolescence (Why did I call it, "Seto Kaiba and the BIG FAT ZIT, anyway?!). Maybe I'll try to be a little nicer to him than I have originally planned. And, as much as I hate it, there will be implications of Seto being in love with Jounouchi… Bleah… >P But, considering that this is an Odango Usagi fic, They probably ain't gonna get together. >)

This is also dedicated to my friend Kurokeke-chan, who is a big Kaiba fanatic (I shall apologize once again in advance), and only reads fics in script form. I have evidently stooped to her level, seeing as how immature and haphazard the text is. Also give heed to the fact that I was on PMS and a sugar high while writing this.

Jou: …Which is a bad combination…

Yami: So, basically, that means you're… yamified…? O.o

No, not quite. *Left Millennium earring glows* Oh, wait. Here we go… >)

Yami: O_O;

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~Monday Morning~

Seto Kaiba wakes up in his big-ass rich-guy bedroom.

Seto: *Yawn*

He gets up and walks to the bathroom

Seto (thinking): 'Now is the time for me to do my daily routine of looking at my perfect self in the mirror.'

He looks into the mirror, and…

Seto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! M-my face… MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!!! O______O;

There is a GIANT ZIT on his forehead (Not so perfect, now are you? >D)!

Seto (rummages through his medicine cabinet): I AM OUT OF ZIT CREAM!!! *runs out* SERVANTS!!! *looks around, but sees that all of his servants are hung over from Mokuba's birthday party last night* Ah, crap. -_-;

Mokuba rushes to Seto's aid.

Mokuba: What's the matter, big brother?

Seto: O_O! Mokuba! *hides face with a towel* DON'T LOOK AT ME!!! T_T

Mokuba: Did you just get a pimple? Wait till I tell all the guys about this! >D

Seto: NO YOU WON'T!!!!!! >O Not if you want to see the light of day, again!!!

Mokuba: Maybe I'll just tell Jounouchi, then. *smirk* >)

Seto (panicking): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O_____O ANYONE BUT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (AN: Kaiba's got a crush, Kaiba's got a crush…)

Mokuba: I was just kidding… ^_^; It'll probably go away, don't worry. :)

Seto (thinking): 'Don't worry, my ass… I'm supposed to be better than the fern head, the friendship girl, and the monkey boy, etc. (AN again: This is not me talking. I'm just… "enhancing" Kaiba's character a bit by making him say stuff that is mentioned in mundane, immature YGO fics.) How am I supposed to steal my puppy away from Sideshow Bob when I have such an abomination on my face…?!'

~At School~

Seto is in the classroom, pretending to read a book, in order to hide the blemish. The other YGO peoples are hanging out in the back of the classroom.

Jounouchi (all lovey-dovey): So, how are you, Yugi-pie? ^_^

Seto: O_O!

Yugi (also lovey-dovey): Just fine, cuddle muffin. ^_^ (Another AN: Sorry about the pet names! ^^;)

Anzu: Eww, they've been at it for days… >(

Honda: Just watching those two makes me sick… >P

Ryou: I think it's cute that they love each other. ^_^

Honda and Anzu: >(

Ryou: O_O;; B-but that isn't my actual opinion… I mean, the author made me say that…

Honda: Where is she?! >|

Anzu: I'd like to kick her ass!

Bunny: Not here! ^_^; *sneaks away*

All: O_o;

Anyway… all the JouxYugi PDA's continue, and Kaiba is very pissed.

Seto: *turns around and yells at Jou and Yugi* Jesus Christ, will you CUT THAT OUT?!?!?!?!?!?! >O

Jounouchi and Yugi stop kissing and stare at the gargantuan zit (About the size of a dime.) that's practically popping out of Kaiba's hair.

Yugi, Jounouchi, and everyone else too: O__O;;;

Anzu: X) *snort*

Ryou: >) *snigger*

Everyone except Kaiba, of course (full-blown laughter!): BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Seto: That's not funny!!! >O

Yugi (laughing so hard, he has tears in his eyes): I-it… it is so! XD *points and laughs harder at Kaiba* Y-you look like a… a… *ROFLHAO*

Jounouchi (finishes for him): …A unicorn!!! ^_^ And you have the right to call me a mutt?! >D *laughs more*

Ryou: You should've thought twice before leaving the house, pizzaface! ^_^ *holding a desk, so he doesn't collapse*

Honda and Anzu: Pizzaface Kaiba! Pizzaface Kaiba!

Yugi, Jou, Honda, Ryou, and Anzu: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD

Seto (thinking): Now I'll never get Jou to love me… T_T;

~At da Mansion again~

Seto (in his room, really, really sad): ;_; No fair. I'm rich off my ass, and really, really hot, so it's impossible for baka-Jounouchi not to love me… *takes out naughty mag from his magazine rack* ^_^ Oh, well! At least I still have you, Playboy (More AN: Y'know, in almost every non-G-rated humor fic starring Kaiba, he always has a porno stash. I'll just say he's bi in this fic.). *Starts reading, and as he is about to slide his hands down his pants…*

Model: Eww. What are you doing…?

Seto: O.O Dude! The model talked! That isn't right! (Stupid redundant AN: No duh…)

Model: And what the hell is that grotesque thing on your forehead, a deformed headlight?!?!?! I'm getting out of here… *model leaves the magazine*

Seto: The thing won't go away?!?!?!?!? O___O! *grabs pocket mirror and holds it to his face* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! T_T *the zit is now bigger than ever (roughly the size of a quarter)* Not even a photographed hentai model will look at me… *sniff* LIFE IS SO NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!! T_______T

~Tuesday Morning~

Mokuba enters Seto's room, while he's still lying on the bed.

Mokuba: Seto, you're going to be late for school!

Seto: I'm not going. I'm too hideous… ;_;

Mokuba: Are you still worried about that zit? O_o

Seto: Hell yeah! It's as big as a freakin' half-dollar! (Again with the AN: I love using currency! ^_^) I need to get rid of it right now if I want to show my face in public again!

Mokuba: Listen, bro. I'll tell you a story that might make you feel better. Ahem… Once upon a time, there was a man who was so ugly, that everyone died… The end! ^_^ *leaves* (AN, again?!: Spongebob Squarepants reference. I couldn't resist! ^_^;)

Seto: You suck, Mokuba! >_<;

Seto now sulks in his room, really, really pissed. Obviously, his brother's story didn't help one bit. In comes a mysterious brunette fairy.

Seto: Huh? *notices fairy's odango hair* Oh, it's you, Meatball Head. -___-;

Bunny: No, it isn't. ^_^; It's um… (Enough with the AN!: This is the second time in my life that I've had to wear fairy wings and it really pisses me off! >.<)

Seto: I know that it's you, you idiot! What the hell are you doing in my house?!

Bunny: One, it's because your guards and servants are still hung over (Boy, do they sure love drinking! O.O). Two, I believe I can help you.

Seto: Aww, none of this magicky crap again… >(

Bunny: It's not magic, it's scientific (for once)! >_< *brandishes little white tube* It's the strongest anti-acne formula in the world. It's made of a delicate blend of benzyl peroxide, salicylic acid, and other inactive ingredients (Screw the fact that I never took chemistry!). The tiniest application can make the largest blemish shrink within minutes!

Seto: What's your angle?

Bunny: What do you mean?

Seto: There's obviously gotta be a catch, so what the bloody hell do you want from me?!

Bunny: …A pair of your favorite underpants.

Seto: >o< NO FREAKING WAY!!!

Bunny: Either that, or it's a date with Kurokeke-chan…

Seto: *thinks about possible date with Kurokeke-chan* O_______________O;;; *hands Blue Eyes-White Dragon underpants to Usagi-sama* It's a deal!

Bunny: Thank you, sir! ^_^ *gives the zit medication in exchange for the undies* *puts Kaiba's underwear in box, seals it, and scribbles something on it* Eheeheeheehee… >)

Seto: What are you doing to my underpants?! O_O

Bunny: Don't worry, Mr. Kaiba. They are going to a safe place!

~Six to Eight Weeks Later~

Kurokeke-chan: Happy birthday to me… ^_^ (This is the last AN, I swear!: I just written this thing in March. It's not your birthday yet!) *gets package addressed to her from moi* *opens package* O___O! <3_____________<3 YAY! I was right! He does wear boxers! *___*

~Back to da Present~

Seto: I really do hope this is the "miracle formula" that it says on the bottle… *applies really, really tiny dot on BIG, HUGE zit* Huh?! *Seto's pimple begins to shrink* ^__________^ It's working! Now I can go outside again!

~At School, Again~

Seto walks down the hallway, and sees Jounouchi, alone.

Seto: Hey, Mr. Puppy! ^_^

Jounouchi: What do you want…? ¬_¬(<-- Hey, look, I finally know how to do the shifty eyes! …Oops. O.O I promised you no more AN! Oh, well! ^^)

Seto: …I see that Yugi is not with you…? ^_~

Jounouchi (ignoring Seto): Yeah, he called in sick. I really, really miss him… ;_; *notices the absence of blemish on Seto's forehead* O_O Hey! That horrible zit is gone!

Seto: Yep. ^_^ *scootches closer to Jounouchi* So, Jounouchi… *puts arm around him* Why don't you forget about that little shrimp and have the ultimate experience in my mansion. Whaddya say? C'mon, please? ;)

Jounouchi: Kaiba…

Seto (all sparkly-eyed like in the shoujo mangas): Yes…? *_____*

Jounouchi: ¬_______¬; No offense, but you're a jerk who masturbates to porn. And, you hate me, don't you? You're just one of the reasons why I'm dating Yugi. *walks away*

Seto: O______________O;;; *breaks down on knees, crying* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T___________________________________T *takes out bottle and throws it on the floor* STUPID RABBIT! YOU SAID THIS THING COULD WORK MIRACLES!!!

Bunny (suddenly appearing): Hey, I didn't say it would get you a date! >P

Seto (Ultra-Super-Mega Pissed): GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! >__________________________________________< *lunges forward to attack her*

Bunny: O.O Oh, sh-- *dashes away from Kaiba*

The End (Or is it?)

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Well, if you have read this and now have the urge to flame me or take me off your Author Alert List or Favorites List, THEN WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU READ THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!?! *Hikarifies* Whew. I think I lost it for a second. Well,, like "Digital Love", this ain't my proudest work, but it feels good to let loose once in a while and write like a demented fifteen-year-old again (Hey, I never meant anyone specific, Kurokeke-chan. O.O). In case you are stuck in the dubbed version, Yugi is Yugi, Jounouchi is the hot blonde dude who looks cute in the dog suit, Anzu is that one chick, Honda is the pointy dude, and Ryou is that white-haired kid. And, what do I think about Seto? Well, he's better than Noa, that's for sure.

Noa: Muwahahahahaha, I'm crazy… >D

O_O; Erm, yeah…

Mokuba (hella pissed and wielding an axe): HOW DARE YOU HURT MY BIG BROTHER, YOU EVIL BITCH!!! >O

O____O;; Oh, crapola! See you soon! *runs away*