His and Her Circumstances is the property and
creation of Gainax and the infamous director Anno, along with various other
entities, none of whom happen to be; I
prefer to make a mockery of other people’s fine work rather than actually do
anything original. Even the format
is a rip-off of the original Toasty Frog Evangelion Thumbnail Theatre at:
http://toastyfrog.com/jump/thumbnail_theatre.shtml
Feedback or good thumbnails can be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com
KareKano Cliff Notes on Crack
(I plan to turn this into a proper thumbnail theatre
eventually, but until then, Cliff Notes on Crack seemed more appropriate)
Episode 1
By: Kaleb
Text: Hello.
Despite this being anime as opposed to manga, you’ll be seeing a lot of
us, and by the end of the last episode (mwhahahaha) you should be thoroughly
sick of us.
Yukino: “How
do others see me?” That is the
question. For must not the
protagonist be burdened with the neurosis of the Creator?
Arima: You
get off easy compared to the transference I get stuck with.
Yukino: Hey,
your not supposed to cut into my intro yet!
Yukino:
*ahem* I’m Miyazawa Yukino.
As you can see from the flowers by my name, I’m special.
Praise me peasants.
Girls: You’re
so altruistic, lacking in faults, and modest, Miyazawa.
Yukino: You’re
to kind. Now excuse me while I
swell with ego and evil laughter.
Yukino: Damn you Arima! Not only did you steal my fangirls, but you got more flowers with your intro too!
Stop lights:
This is about as unsubtle as a symbolic scene change gets.
Yukino: Now
that I’m back within the safety of my lair, I can take off my mask and reveal
my true identity as the selfish and self-serving QUEEN OF VANITY!
Yukino: Damn
you Arima! How dare you get a
better exam score than me and monopolize all the praise and attention that
should rightfully be mine! I shall
single-mindedly devote my entire being to destroying you!
Arima: You’re
pretty amazing and nice, Miyazawa. I think I’m getting a crush on you.
Yukino: Go
to hell, rich boy.
Yukino: Who
left the Air on; it’s making me sleepy. Maybe
if I imagine a violent slaughter of robots I can stay awake.
One robot getting cracked like a shrimp, second robot getting knifed in
the face, third robot getting shot up with spikes.
Hmm, these guys sorta look like sheep… zzzzz.
Yukino: Ack!
I almost died a more pathetic death than Asuka!
Yukino: But
pulling those all-nighters was worth it, for I am once again number one.
Now it’s your turn to writhe in the agony of being second best, Arima.
Arima: Wow.
You really are great, Miyazawa.
Yukino: What
fun is it climbing to the top if I can’t crush people underneath my heels in
the process? Can’t you act just a
little bit dejected?
Arima: Unlike
you, I don’t really care about being praised or number one, and yet I still
manage to excel and be noticed without such selfish motives.
Yukino: Damn
you Arima! You’ve made me realize
what a stupid hypocrite I am! I
fell an attack of angst and flashbacks coming on.
Stop lights: Let’s
kick you while your down by driving home that your once again stuck at an
impasse.
Yukino: Stupid
symbolic scene-change.
Arima: I
love you.
Yukino: What?!
It’s only the first episode! You
can’t confess yet! Don’t you
know anything about romances; a confession can only come after many denials of
our true feelings and awkward attempts to admit them.
Let my rejection teach you to flaunt tradition so flagrantly.
Kano: You
sure about that sis?
Yukino: Oh
crap! Sure, it was great finally
getting to see him dejected, but now that I think about; he’s a great guy:
Smart, nice, hot, not to mention rich.
What the hell was I thinking?!
Yukino: FLYING
ROCKET KIC…. uh, you’re not Tsukino, are you.
Arima:…
Yukino…. Would somebody shut that bamboo peddler
up?! This is awkward enough as is.
Arima:…
Yukino:…
Arima: Um,
are you going to remove your foot from my stomach anytime soon?
You’re floating in mid air is starting to weird me out.
Yukino: I’m
doomed! My secret identity has been
unmasked by my arch nemesis. Damn
you Arima!
End Episode 1
