Shampoo’s Chance:  Spirit of the Law

Disclaimer:  Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of Takahashi-sama and various other entities.  I’m just borrowing them without permission.  I promise to put them all back when I’m done... except possibly for Shampoo:)

Chapter 2

By:  Kaleb

      Nodoka frowned as she took the first outfit from the dryer.  Had she shrunk the load?  It was to small for Akane to wear... except strangely enough the chest was to big.  But it couldn’t be Kasumi’s or Nabiki’s, they were far to tall for it.  And none of the other clothes gave any indication of having been shrunk.  But this was definitely a girl’s outfit.  So who did it belong to?  Shampoo could hear the gears slowly grinding away even through the wall.    

      “Nihao!”  greeted Shampoo as she slid open the door to the laundry room.

      “Ah!  This must be yours!” said Nodoka with relief as she thrust the outfit at a confused Amazon.  The chest was about the right size, thought the dress still seemed a little short.  But on further examination of Shampoo’s current attire, Nodoka concluded that the Amazon would have no compunctions about wearing a _very_ short skirt.  “You came here to pick up your clothes, didn’t you?  Is there anything else of yours in here?” 

      “What you talk about?  No Shampoo laundry here.”

      “Wash laundry with shampoo?  Don’t worry, I used normal detergent, so your cloths should be fine.  Do they really use shampoo on clothes where you come from?”

      “No!  Shampoo Shampoo!” 

      “Uh...”

      Shampoo sweatdropped as she realized agitation was causing her to forget her pronouns; it took a conscious effort to use them, they just didn’t seem to come naturally.  Once again she tried; “Shampoo me!”

      “Um, you want me to wash your hair?”  Perhaps the Amazons got to know strangers by exchanging a hair wash.  Mrs. Saotome had heard that their customs were pretty strange, but for some reason no one ever wanted to elaborate on them.  No one had seemed to want to elaborate on the Amazon’s relationship to this household either, though Mrs. Saotome got the sense that there was some sort of connection between her son and this girl.  It would be a good chance to find out just what was going on, and also get an outside view of Ranma.  Plus, her hair did look like it would be fun to do up.  It was so long and beautiful.  “Well, I suppose we could do that, the bathroom’s just over there,” said Mrs. Saotome as she headed to the nearby door.

      “....”  Shampoo helplessly followed Mrs. Saotome into the bathroom.  So far she was _not_ making the first impression she’d hoped for. 

      “The last time we met you were so busy leveling my house that we didn’t really get to talk,” said Nodoka as she unfastened her obi. 

      Now Shampoo remembered; she’d already made a much worse impression.  “eh... heh,” laughed Shampoo nervously as she began to disrobe, “yeah, I guess Shampoo, _crazy flower girl_, and _Ukyo_ got little bit carried away, sorry bout that,” apologized Shampoo, emphasizing that there _had_ been other girls there too, though admittingly her tendency to go through walls as if they weren’t there probably was what had caused the house to collapse.  “When we’s fight over Ranma it get out of hand.”

      “Oh.  That’s what it was all about... so are you all Ranma’s girlfriend or something?  *sigh*  I guess my sons so manly that woman can’t help but fight over him,” beamed Nodoka with pride as she filled up a wash bucket.

      “Uh, could you hot water use.  Me no like cold water.  And we’s all Ranma fiancé, excepting crazy flower girl,” explained Shampoo as she removed her purple lingerie and tossed them atop her pile of clothes.

      Nodoka conveniently dropped the wash bucket full of cold water in shock.  “D-did you say fiancé’s?”  The wash bucket took advantage of this distraction and started scooting toward Shampoo’s clothes.  “T-that’s impossible.  Ranma’s already got...”

      “Akane?  But also got Ukyo and me.  Ranma too to many fiancé’s have.  Is quiet the problem,” said Shampoo as Nodoka emptied a wash bucket of hot water over her.  The other wash bucket stopped it’s scooting to momentarily admire the effect of the rivulets of water coursing down Shampoo’s beautiful and buxom body.

      “Wait, Ukyo’s a guy’s name, right?!  Even if he’s sometimes got a girl’s body, Ranma can’t possibly consider some other guy a fiancé, can he?  asked a trembling Nodoka.  Shampoo started when she noticed that a sheathed katana had somehow made it’s way into Mrs. Saotome’s hands.    

      “Yeah, Ukyo very much bad match, sure Ranma is no interested,” assured Shampoo as she warily eyed the trembling katana.  The wash bucket eyed the katana nervously too as it continued stealthily scooting across the bathroom floor.

      “Of course not,” agreed Nodoka with a sigh of relief.  “So that just leaves you and Akane.  Who are you again?” asked Nodoka as Shampoo unbound her hair and let it cascade onto the tile floor.  Nodoka couldn’t help but her run her hand through the fine purple mass in admiration. 

      “Shampoo!”  explained Shampoo for the third time.

      “Oh, right!” said an embarrassed Nodoka as she realized her admiration of this girl’s hair had caused her to momentarily zone out and hold things up.  These Amazons certainly were impatient, or perhaps she was just agitated by the presence of the katana, which Nodoka just now realized she was holding.  Blushing, Nodoka quickly reached behind her, and when her hand reappeared it held a bottle of lavender shampoo instead, which she immediately worked up into a generous lather and began vigorously applying to Shampoo’s scalp, causing her to sigh with pleasure.  Seeing as the girl seemed receptive now, Nodoka began as gently as she could, “I’m afraid Akane’s claim surely predates yours; our two houses were pledged to unite before Ranma was even born.”   

      “True, but age alone no mean best necessarily.  I is young, but best of amazon warriors* and their Champion.  And Akane no by law bound for marry Ranma like I is.  If Akane no is marry Ranma nothing to her happen, but me is to be punished when fail Ranma win.”   *the warriors are a separate cast from the elders

      “Law?  Punishment?”  asked a concerned Nodoka.  This was looking like it wouldn’t be so easy to resolve. 

      “Is Amazon way marry strong... manly man,”  Shampoo was pleased to note that her careful choice of words had the desired affect of pleasing Nodoka.  “If outsider man defeat we’s to marry.  Keeps tribe strong.”          

      “Very eugenic, but effective.  What happens to those who break the law, I’m sure some of your poor maidens get engaged to brutes they find repulsing.”

      “Hehheh.  You’s speakings from own experience?  OW!  Is joking!  Shampoo joking!”  Yelped Shampoo as Mrs. Saotome stumbled across a snarl in the amazon’s hair.  “Some grooms is very repulsive.  Great Grandma say husband most repulsive little creep imaginable, she get rid of as soon as pregnant.”  Fortunately for the washing bucket, no one was looking it’s way when it’s surface erupted in engorged veins. 

      “Poor thing.  Wasn’t she punished by the tribe for that?” asked Nodoka as she took down the detachable shower head and began to rinse out Shampoo’s hair.

      “Actually, tribe help get rid of little troll, so no could give more than slap on wrist to Grandma.  Rare is law breaking, so case by case punishment can council make,” said Shampoo proudly as she tilted her head from side to side, savoring that feeling of cleanliness left in the shampoo’s wake.   “But punishment for no marry must be severe for keep Amazons from disregard.”

      “How severe?” asked Nodoka, not sure she really wanted to know. 

      “Saw one woman of womanhood stripped.”

      “...By stripped of womanhood you surely don’t mean...?” asked Nodoka, fairly certain now that she did _not_ want to know, and yet morbidly curious. 

         “Hysterectomy and... and r-removal of..”

      “HOW BARBARIC!”  Interrupted Nodoka hastily before Shampoo could finish.  Mrs. Saotome couldn’t help but feel a little sympathetic for this girl.  She was tough, but hadn’t quite managed to keep fear over her possible fate from creeping into her tone, and Nodoka could hardly blame her.  “It’d be a shame if such a bright and beautiful girl as you didn’t get to have any children.”

      Shampoo smirked at the success of her feigned fear.  While the thought of what the council would do to her if she were put on trial today was not a pleasant one, she seriously doubted they’d carry it so far.  While she wasn’t very popular in the tribe, as the other unfortunate amazon had been, she had honestly attempted to win Ranma over, while the other amazon had preferred murdering to marrying her groom, but there was no need to bother Mrs. Saotome with all the little details.  “Yes, too to tragic if happen.  *sniff*  Great shame to Amazon for be childless,” sniffed Shampoo as she placed her smiling face in her hands for added effect.  The stage was being set more perfectly than she’d dared to hope for.                    

End of Chapter 2

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