Shampoo’s Chance:  Spirit of the Law

Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of Takahashi-sama and various other entities.  I’m just borrowing them without permission.  I promise to put them all back when I’m done... except possibly for Shampoo:)

C&C may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com

Chapter 4

By:  Kaleb

       Halting her chopping at the red head of arugula, Kasumi eyed the dark clouds gathering overhead.  Looked like a storm was coming.  Outside, the wind picked up and began tossing the stray leaves in the yard about with its capricious currents. 

       Oblivious to all this, Akane continued pummeling her pigtailed straw man mercilessly.  As she stepped back to deliver the final side kick, a scream broke out.  It was a scream of pure terror, as if someone were confronting their darkest nightmare in the flesh.  The scream suddenly cut off as Akane’s foot tore through the straw man’s chest, and for one chilling moment Kasumi could have sworn he... it, she meant it... had been the one screaming.  But that couldn’t be.  The wind must have carried that dreadful sound from elsewhere.

       Shivering slightly, Kasumi leaned out the window and called to her younger sister.  “I think that’s enough, Akane.  There’s a storm coming, so you’d best come in.”

       “Hai, Oneesan.  Let me put this dummy away first.  I wouldn’t want the rain to ruin him,” replied Akane, pulling her foot from the hole in ‘his’ chest.

       I’d better get things out of the rain too, thought Kasumi as she brought in her potted herbs from the window sill and closed the window.  Strange, it’d seemed like it was going to be nice and bright today.  But life was like that sometimes, light one moment, dark and foreboding the next.  You just had to take it as it came and batten down the hatches, thought Kasumi as she moved from room to room, closing all the windows.

       In the dining room, Kasumi found her other sister lying in front of the TV.  “Seen Shampoo recently?” asked Kasumi as she wheeled the amazon’s bike into the dining room proper and then slid shut the door to the porch. 

       “Yeah, how’d you know?” mumbled Nabiki between mouthfuls of sweetbun.  “Looks like she and Auntie Saotome are waiting around in the laundry room.  Something strange is going on though.  Shampoo’s her usual cheerful self, but Ranma’s Mother certainly isn’t.  Bet she’s _just_ found out about her son’s multiple engagements, considering how those two jerks keep her in the dark.  The shit’s really going to hit the fan though if she ever finds out the details of Ukyo’s engagement.  It’ll be fun watching Genma try and worm his way out of that.”

       “Now Nabiki, it’s not nice to take pleasure in the misfortune of others, even if they do deserve it.  I doubt it’ll be a problem,” said Kasumi with a smile, “but would you mind keeping an eye on Mr. Bike for me and making sure Akane doesn’t hurt him while I’m closing the windows upstairs?”

       “Since when are we running a free parking garage?”

       “Nabiki...”

       “All right.  All right.  I’ll consider the sweetbun as payment.  Wouldn’t want word getting out that I did a freebie.  I’ve got a reputation to maintain, you know.”

       Sighing over her sister’s mercenaryism, Kasumi headed for the stairs.  But before she could ascend she was stopped short by a sight that made her eyes widen in shock.  Happosai... was down on all fours and scrubbing the steps.  Either this was a sign that the End was nigh... or the old pervert expected Shampoo to be passing this way shortly.  She really should have a talk with that girl about wearing pants. 

          “Hello Oji-san.  It’s so nice of you to be helping out.”

       “Oh, thanks Kasumi-chan,” said Happosai self consciously as he scratched the back of his neck.  Then, to Kasumi’s surprise, he became serious.  “Say, is that lazy good-for-nothing disciple of mine around?”

      “Mr. Saotome?  I think he’s in his room.  Why?”

       “Oh, I just need him to make himself useful and get me some supplies.  That’s all.  Here,” said Happosai as he thrust a folded up piece of paper toward Kasumi.  “Please give this to him right away.  I’d do it myself if I weren’t so busy.  Well, what are you waiting for?!” Happosai snapped impatiently as Kasumi fixed him with her innocent gaze.  A slight cough was her only reply.  “Oh.”  Blushing, Happosai stood up (not that it made much difference) and looked the other way as Kasumi took the list and headed up the stairs unmolested. 

       Once she was out of site, Kasumi peeked at the list.  Looked like Happosai wanted sake, tobacco, fireworks, and the latest Victoria’s Secret catalog.  Not that she could actually read the Master’s handwriting, but some things were just a given.  What she couldn’t deduce, using the number and rough shape of the kanji, was the note in big bold red that took up all the space below the list.  Oh well, hopefully Mr. Saotome could decipher the message.  It looked important.

*     *     *

       Wiping the sweat from her brow, Akane slid open the dojo door and tossed her straw man roughly inside.

       “I can’t believe I let myself get concerned over a stupid uncute tomboy like you!”

       Well, he head been concerned, admitted Akane as she gently repositioned the pigtailed straw man more comfortably in the corner.  He just didn’t have to be such an overprotective jerk about it, thought Akane as she started patching the dummy’s chest up with spare straw.  Maybe she should’ve just tossed him into the koi pond instead of knocking him head first into one of the bordering rocks.    

       Hurrying back into the house, Akane headed for the laundry room. Much to her chagrin, she could hear Shampoo’s annoying sing song tone issuing forth from it.  She’d hoped that the amazon would have finished her business with Ranma’s mother by now.  But apparently they were still at it, as Akane could hear Nodoka laughing along with Shampoo at whatever had just been said.   

       Great.  Those two seemed to be hitting it off.  What if that little vixen was trying to convince Ranma’s mom that she’d make a better wife?!  After all, she was prettier, more graceful, and a better cook.  Akane wouldn’t put it past Shampoo to be badmouthing her behind her back.  Maybe they were even laughing at _her_.  Akane put her ear to the laundry room door, but the noise from the dryer frustrated her attempt to eavesdrop.  Thinking she heard her name, Akane leaned in even closer... 

       And suddenly fell forward, landing at the feet of the amazon who’d thrown open the door.  “*tsk* Akane no ever make good spy with anger aura big enough sense all way over in China.”  Akane looked up in embarrassment, which increased at her view up Shampoo’s pantyless miniskirt. 

       Miniskirt?!  What the hell was that bimbo doing in Ranma’s miniskirt?  Akane’s embarrassment turned into fury.  That... that... slut!  Changing out of her bra and panties and into such a shameless outfit as soon as Ranma got back!  Even for Shampoo, this was a new low.  Each step the amazon took back toward Nodoka caused the peek a boo skirt to sway revealing in concert with her hips and breasts. 

       “Hello, Akane-chan,” greeted Auntie Saotome, in an uncharacteristically somber tone that seemed to confirm her suspicion that Shampoo was spreading malicious gossip behind her back.  There also was a hard edge to her green eyes which complemented her emerald earrings...??!  So that bitch was stooping to bribery now?!  But surely Mrs. Saotome wouldn’t be bought off like that husband of hers. 

       Still, they did look pretty expensive, worried Akane as she started changing out of her dirty uniform.  Then she noticed what should have jumped out at her when she first entered the room; Mrs. Saotome was carrying her katana around again.  And it wasn’t even wrapped up in it’s cloth.  Uh oh. That couldn’t be a good sign.  She’d better warn Ranma.  It was unforgivable that Shampoo was stirring things up with his mother!  Ranma had gone through so much to get past the seppuku contract and reunite with her.     

       “Shampoo, I was wondering...”

       “Yes, _Auntie_ Saotome?” said Shampoo, loudly enough for Akane, who was loading up the washer, to hear. 

       “Well, since you got your curse, have you... well... felt as if you’ve  become a bit more... um... cat like?”  Shampoo noted with disappointment that her attempts to cheer Auntie Saotome up had worn off and she was back to her pensive mood she’d been in ever since Ranma had walked in on them. 

       “Shampoo no think curses work like...”  Suddenly Shampoo’s ears perked up.  Before Ranma could even close the door behind him Shampoo had pounced and was nuzzling up to her surprised prey with felicitous purrs.  Nodoka sighed.  Ranma started to open his mouth in protest.  And Akane sent the most at hand objects through the air.

       Shampoo barely backed off in time to avoid being hit.  Bleah!  No way she going back to nuzzling that dirty pile of laundry!  Lowering the soiled gi from his face, Ranma glared in annoyance toward the direction from which it’d came.  “Thanks Akane.  So much for that bath I just took.  How about ya try wearing some deodorant before ya work out?  This tomboy sweat of yours stinks worse than the boys locker room.” 

      Covering her chest in embarrassment, Akane wished she’d thrown the washer instead.  “Whatcha so mad about anyway?  It’s not like I care about seeing your flat chest, specially with Shampoo here.  I mean, if I was gonna check out a girl, I’d ignore ya for Shampoo.  She’s got a lot sexier sense of style.  Speaking of which Shampoo, why are ya wearing m...” fortunately for Ranma, he never got to finish asking Shampoo his question.  Unfortunately, this was due to Akane grabbing the sleeves of her gi and choking him from behind.  Didn’t that idiot realize his mother was here?!  Or was he just to busy “checking out” Shampoo?            

       “Well excuuuse me that unlike you and Shampoo, I don’t dress like a slut, you pervert!”  With a burst of strength, Akane hoisted her gasping victim into the air and slammed him head first into the washer’s raised lid behind her.  Momentarily stunned, he was unable to prevent Akane from using her uniform to tie him up against the agitator. 

       “What the hell do ya think your doing Akane!” yelled Ranma as he began to regain his bearings.

       “Sounded from all your bitching like you needed another bath,” replied Akane with a smile as she slammed the washer lid on Ranma’s face.  “So let me help you get out all that ‘stinking tomboy sweat,’" said    Akane, voice dripping with false sweetness as she started up the wash.

       “Aiya.  Violent girl go off deep end again,” murmured Shampoo as she watched the washer lurch desperately from side to side. 

       “Aw, is the water to cold for poor little Ranma-chan?  Here, maybe _this_ will help you take it like a man,” taunted Akane as she set the water temperature to the max.  Satisfied with the scream of pain her action caused, Akane headed off to take her own bath.  Shampoo wasted no time in shutting off the washer and fishing a half drowned and very dizzy Ranma out. 

       “Ranma should be more careful what say round Akane, neh?”

       “Shut up.  This is all your fault for glomping onto me anyway.  Why can’t ya cut that crap out?”

       Shampoo looked hurt for a moment, but that quickly changed as she grabbed Ranma by the scruff of his collar.  “Shampoo hug cause missed you and was happy see you, but now wonder why.  Ranma jerk obviously no miss Shampoo!”

       “Shampoo...” Ranma could tell her shimmering eyes were holding back tears.  Coarse as he was, even Ranma knew it was a sin to make a girl cry.  The only problem was he, as usual, didn’t know what to say.  He _hadn’t_ missed her.  But saying so would be suicide. 

       “Know what Shampoo think?  Akane on right track.  Now Ranma is all wet, so needs get dry!”

       “Ack!  Cut it out Shampoo!  Leggo!”  yelped Ranma as he resisted the angry amazon's attempts to stuff him in the dryer. 

       *ahem*  The two instantly stopped their fighting as Mrs. Saotome stepped partially out of the shadows from which she’d quietly been observing Ranma.  No matter what angle she replayed his conduct from, she couldn’t get it to come out looking very manly.  “I believe Shampoo came here with a proposition for you, son.  Perhaps you should do her the honor of hearing her out.”

       “Uh, yeah.  I could do that...” said Ranma nervously.  His mother’s face was still obscured in shadows, making her hard to read.  But there was something about her tone that was raising red flags.  Whatever was going on, he’d better take it seriously, even though he’d rather brush Shampoo off as quickly as possible if it were entirely up to him.

       “Good.  You two can go on ahead to our room.  I’ll be up after I prepare some tea and snacks.”  As she passed by her son, she whispered in an almost pleading tone, “Don’t disappoint me Ranma.” 

       Staring after his mother in bewilderment, Ranma wished he had a clue what the hell she was talking about.  It almost sounded like one wrong move could result in seppuku.  “All right Shampoo, let us retire to my families quarters where we may more leisurely discuss this proposition of yours.  Ladies first,” said Ranma loudly, gagging inwardly on what he hoped were manly lines.

       Sure, it was corny, _and_ insincere, but Shampoo couldn’t help  relishing Ranma’s chivalry just a bit.  “Teehee.  Ranma _so_ suave,” giggled Shampoo as she headed out of the laundry room.

       “I am?  Really?!  Yatta!  Um... suave’s a good thing, right?” asked Ranma, completely ruining the effect.  In the hallway Nodoka put her hand to her face in shame. 

       “Sshh idiot!  Mother right down hallway.”

       Sweatdropping, Ranma followed Shampoo out of the laundry room and peeked behind him.  There was his Mom, looking hopefully over her shoulder as she slowly headed toward the kitchen.  He couldn’t let his Mother down.  There had to be something manly he could do to redeem himself!            

       Remembering how his Mother had considered peeping manly, Ranma resigned himself to checking out Shampoo’s rear.   To his surprise, and embarrassment, he found the view more captivating than he would have thought.  Having had the distasteful experience himself of being ogled, Ranma had made it a point of honor to try and not look at girls in that perverted kind of way. 

       So this was the first time he realized how hypnotizing the back and forth sway of feminine hips could be.  Or how seductive was that wink when delectable derriere met tempting thigh.  Especially when said derriere and hips belonged to a girl graced with such sensual curves as Shampoo, whom, unlike Ranma, enjoyed being ogled, at least, that is, if it was by Ranma. 

       Savoring the feel of Ranma’s eyes upon her butt (it took no special amazon honed senses to detect this; most women have developed a defensive intuition that warns them when a guy is staring), Shampoo slowed down and began to strut her stuff.  As long as her ass had an audience, it might as well put on a show.  “Something wrong Ranma?” giggled Shampoo as her former fiance gulped.  

       “N-no,” replied a furiously blushing Ranma as he thought the opposite;  there must be something wrong with him that this was having such an effect on him.  He wanted to look away, but dared not in case his mother was still watching, or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself.  In his haste to get out of the hallway, Ranma nearly ran over Shampoo.  Damn it, couldn’t that stupid bimbo move her ass?! (could she ever!  But he meant forward, not pivoting, up and down, or side to side) 

       Now he was even closer to that annoyingly absorbing ass of hers.  So close... and so absorbing that he forgot to be annoyed, in fact, forgot near everything else save those two perfectly round glutes before him.  So close... that he could reach out and touch them if he wanted...

       Ranma stopped his trembling hand halfway.  “Cmon Ranma,” he thought, “If your going to do this... do it like a MAN!”

       “AIYA!  Ooh, Ranma cut that out,” protested Shampoo unconvincingly as she wiggled around weakly enough to not quite get away.  “No should do this here.  What if someone see?” 

       “Duh.  Why the hell do you think I’m doing this?!”

       “Because your a pervert?”  Ranma turned toward Nabiki’s voice just in time to be blinded by the flash from her camera.