[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance:  Spirit of the Law

feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com

previous chapters may be found at https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb

Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of Takahashi-sama and various other entities.  I’m just borrowing them without permission.  I promise to put them all back when I’m done... except possibly for Shampoo:)

Chapter 6

By:  Kaleb

       "…ma!…anma!…Ranma!"  Squinting through the eye that hadn't been blackened, Ranma made out Akane's concerned face hovering above his.  "Thank goodness you're finally awake!  Are you ok?  How many fingers am I holding up?"

       "Of course I'm ok," snapped Ranma in annoyance, shoving away Akane's six fingers as he attempted to rise from the floor of the spinning dojo.

       "Oh really?" said Akane dubiously, catching him as he lost his balance.  "You shouldn't push yourself yet.  She could have given you a concussion."

       "I said I'm fine," repeated Ranma as he once again pushed Akane away and sulked down into a sitting position.

       "Well, if you say so… but let me at least take a look at these bruises."  Ranma's only reply was a grunt, but he allowed Akane to start treating his injuries.  "Boy, Shampoo really trounced you," observed Akane as she started applying salve to Ranma's black eye. 

       "Aw, I let her win.  Wanted her to get out all that anger and figure out exactly where she was martial arts wise.  If I'd beat her in a couple seconds like I usually do she'd have just got even more pissed and I wouldn't have learned much about her abilities."

       "Bull shit Ranma, we all know you couldn't throw a fight if your life depended on it."  Ranma tensed as Nabiki made her presence known.  "And Akane… aren't you supposed to keep that stuff away from the mucous membranes?"

       "Oops…"  As luck would have it, Ranma chose Akane's moment of startlement to spin around and face Nabiki, his injured eye getting a finger full of salve in the process.

       "GGYYAAHHHH!"

       "Ah!  I'm sorry!  Wait, don't try and claw it out!  Um… um… flush!  We need to flush it out!  I'll be back with some water right away!"

       "Stupid klutz," muttered Ranma, clutching his eye in pain as Akane dashed out of the dojo.  Then speaking incredulously to the older sibling, "Are ya implying that Shampoo's better than me?  Huh?!  That's ridiculous Nabiki, I won the tribal championship match against Shampoo and have beat her easily more than once after that!"

          "My, my, aren't we awfully insecure?  _I_ never said anything about Shampoo being better than you.  However, before you challenged Shampoo, she'd just become the Champion of her people.  Do you honestly think that the Champion of the Amazons, a martial race that's the product of thousands of years of eugenic breeding and produces matriarchs of Cologne's caliber I might add, is going to be some pushover who you can "easily" defeat?"

       "Well… uh… that's just…" before Ranma could splutter out a repudiation, Akane dashed back into the dojo with the hose. 

       "Okay, now if you could uncover that eye… good… Okay!  Turn 'er on Kasumi!"  Shouted Akane over her shoulder as she dangled the hose over Ranma's swollen eye.  "Huh?  Nothing's coming out?"

       "The nozzle attachment is still on," pointed out Nabiki. 

       "Oh yeah," said a flustered Akane as Ranma rolled his eyes.  "So, um, if I just turn it here…"  suddenly a stream of high pressure water shot forth from the nozzle, blasting Ranma point blank.  Akane looked on in dismay as her now transformed fiance writhed in agony on the floor. 

       "Should I call the fire department now?" came Kasumi's voice from outside the dojo.

       "F-fire department…?" stuttered Akane as she fumbled with the nozzle attachment, trying to turn it back off. 

       "There's a fire right?  That's why you were so distressed and wanted the hose…  Oh my."  Said Kasumi as she stepped into the dojo.

       "That explains the max power from the nozzle," said Nabiki.

       "Well, it feels like my eyes on fire, thanks to a certain tomboys utter ineptness at gardening and first aid," said Ranma sarcastically, glaring at Akane with his eye that wasn't winced shut. 

       "You want me to make that other eye match?  Really, I was just trying to help…"

       "Some "help"; you're even more vicious than Shampoo.  Anymore of your "help" and I'd end up half blind." 

       Before Akane could react, Kasumi quickly stepped between the quarrelsome pair.  "Oh dear.  You better let me take a look at that eye Ranma.  We want to make sure it's not seriously injured."

       "H-he couldn't really lose use of his eye, could he?"

       "Don't worry Akane.  Even if there was serious damage they'd be able to repair it this early.  Ranma's tough and heals real quick, I'm sure he'll be fine.  Now if you'd just open your eye for me Ranma?"

       "Sure Kasumi," said Ranma sweetly as Kasumi helped by gently putting traction on his eyelids.  "Boy, it sure is nice to be treated by someone who actually has that feminine grace and delicacy of touch."          

       "Well, besides being badly irritated, your eye looks like it'll be fine given a day or two of rest," prognosed Kasumi.  "Let's put a patch over it in the meantime, so nothing else will disturb it."  Pulling a large and dark circular Band-Aid out of the first aid kit, Kasumi patched it over Ranma's left eye.  "There.  I know it's instinctual to keep it clenched tight, but try and relax your lids now that there's no need to protect the eye."

       "Thanks Kasumi," said Ranma as he tried relaxing his eyelids, surprised that it was harder than it sounded.

       "No.  It was my pleasure.  With the rest of these injuries, where they Shampoo's doing?  She seemed like she was in such a good mood this morning."

       "Well, you know how Ranma is with women," remarked Nabiki.  "Looks like they ended up getting in a fight and Shampoo dumped him."

       "Now hold on a sec, we cut a deal; Shampoo did _not_ dump m-"

       "And not only that, but Ranma actually _lost_" added Akane, "badly.  I didn't see a scratch on Shampoo when she came out of the dojo."

       "Oh my.  Ranma lost a fight?"

       "I did not!  Not really.  I let her win!   …Why are you all looking at me like that?"

       "Ranma…" said Akane as she shook her head, "even Kasumi's not gullible enough to believe you'd throw a fight.  I've fought Shampoo myself; she's not an opponent to be taken lightly; leave one opening and it'll be all over before you know what hit you.  She's not in the same category as the Kuno twins whom you can defeat with ease; I myself can fend those two off, but in a real fight Shampoo took me down in a few seconds."

       "So?  You're a slow klutz, whereas I am not.  Just because you get your ass kicked by Shampoo doesn't mean I can't beat her handily when I choose… *oomph*"  the rest of Ranma's sentence was cut off as Akane dropped her elbow on top of the shorter girl's head. 

       "Akane's right Ranma.  You're writing Shampoo off to easily," accused Nabiki as she pointed dramatically at the flattened red head.  "Have you ever had a real duel with her?"

       "Sure I have!" responded Ranma as he jumped back up and faced Nabiki.  "Remember the time I beat her when she was wearing the reversal jewel?"

       "How could we forget?" muttered Akane.  "Afterward the whole school was talking about how you'd tried to force yourself on her."

       "Hey!  Don't go brining that up again.  I already told ya it was the stupid jewel's fault for making her hate my guts.  The point is that I challenged Shampoo and then beat her without throwing a single punch."

       "But Ranma, if Shampoo hated your guts… wouldn't that have affected her fighting?" asked Kasumi.

       "Huh?"

       "Well, the jewel was possessing her with an irrational anger toward you, right?  Martial arts is about control.  Someone who loses control of their anger may have extra power, but their technique will suffer, right?"

       "Well… uh… it's possible…"

       "Oh, she's right and you know it Ranma," said Akane. 

       "Well, if anyone here's an expert about losing control of their temper it'd be you," Ranma conceded.

       "Shut up, I'm trying to think here!" growled Akane as she once again hit Ranma with an elbow drop.  "What Kasumi said reminds my sparring match with Shampoo this morning.  I got so mad that I was completely ignoring my defense because I wanted to hit her so badly.  The same thing probably happened in that fight with Shampoo; her hatred made hurting you her only goal, thus she was probably ignoring her defense in favor of her offense."

       "That would have left her with lots of openings, wouldn't it?" noted Kasumi.  "It would have been easy to use Aikido against those openings to redirect her excessive offense and then pin her  using your strength advantage."

       "Which is exactly what happened, wasn't it Ranma?" said Nabiki smugly. 

       "Since when did Kasumi become a martial arts analyst anyway," groused Ranma.

       "Dad trained all of us a little bit," explained Akane.  "To see if we had any talent for carrying on the school and so he wouldn't have to worry about us walking home at night."

       "Yep," confirmed Nabiki.  "But getting exhausted in a sweaty smelly gi wasn't my idea of a good time and Kasumi, well she…"

       "Well, I never could quite bring myself to hit someone," blushed Kasumi.  "So I decided to learn Aikido instead."

       "But the Tendo Anything-Goes style and Aikido are like night and day, so Dad never taught her anything more than the basics," said Nabiki.  "A shame too.  As I recall, you were pretty good at it sis."

       "Oh, not really.  They were just the basics, so of course they were fairly easy to do," demurred Kasumi.

       "Hey, give your self more credit; Aikido's one of the harder forms to gain competence in," said Ranma, obviously impressed.  "Heck, I doubt the more brutish martial artists like Ryogau or Akane could ever use such a graceful style effectively."

       "What was that?!" shouted Akane as she grabbed Ranma by the arm and swung him to the ground, then reversing directions pulled the arm back across Ranma's back, immobilizing it in a painful joint lock.  "So I can't pull off any Aikido, eh?!" growled Akane as Ranma's free hand slapped the floor for mercy. 

       "Well duh," responded Ranma through gritted teeth.  "Aikido's never used to initiate an attack!  Ow!  You call this "loving force"?!"

       "Hmmphh.  Think of it as tough love," Akane said, sticking out her tongue as she let go of the little red head.  Not finished needling him yet, Akane prepared another barb, "You know, that first time you fought Shampoo, she'd been competing all day in the tournament and had just finished fighting in the tough championship bout, hadn't she? 

       "Ya trying to say Shampoo wasn't in top form?  If so, she should have postponed our match until she'd rested up.  You'll notice I usually schedule my duel's a week in advance so I can properly prepare.  None of which changes the fact I won that match with just one kick."

       "And just how did you manage that?" asked Nabiki suspiciously.

       "Heh.  It was brilliant strategy.  I pretended to almost lose my balance when I mounted the log.  Then I got into a sloppy fighting stance, all to fool Shampoo into fatally underestimating me.  I figured that since we were just fighting to a knock off instead of a knock out I'd only need one solid hit, and the best way to do that would be to make her over commit to her opening strike; which I predicted she'd do based on my observations of her earlier match.  When Shampoo senses an opening she puts everything she's got into a final strike."

       "So you won using a cheap trick," summed up Nabiki.

       "And by your advantage of having watched her in action before," added Akane, "an advantage which she didn't share.  Plus, it's not like you knocked her out.  If it'd been a real fight she could have easily kept going."

       "Hey, I was just tailoring my strategy to the rules of _her_  tribe's contest.  And besides, I've scored a KO against Shampoo too.  Remember when she first came to your house and I protected you from her?"

       "How could we forget," muttered Akane.  "Afterward you had quite the kiss with her."

       "Wouldja stop brining up all this old crap?!  It's not like I wanted her to kiss me."

       "For someone who "didn't want to be kissed" you sure didn't put up much of a fight.  And that skirmish with Shampoo wasn't much of a fight either.  I believe you yourself said, and I quote; "It was just a fluke accident!" said Akane with mocking sarcasm. 

       "Now, now, I think Ranma deserves more credit than that for saving you from Shampoo," Kasumi said.  "True, he took her by surprise and caught her in a flat footed stance, which she probably never would have gone into if she'd suspected him of attacking; but even Shampoo admitted he beat her, otherwise she wouldn't have given him the kiss of marriage."

       "But the real point is, as Kasumi's analysis has once again shown, that none of your past fights against Shampoo really count for conclusively settling how good Shampoo is," concluded Nabiki.

       "True true, specially since Shampoo no was being beat that time."  All four heads turned to see Shampoo leaning smugly against the dojo doorway. 

       "You're still here Shampoo?!" sputtered Ranma in surprise.  "Just how long have you been listening?!"

       "Long enough, "sensei"."  

       "Then why didn't ya speak up for yourself sooner?!"

       "Hmmphh, you's speculating of no interest for Shampoo who already knowing where issue stand," answered the amazon as she flicked back a stray hair.  "No mattering to Shampoo what other's think of her."

       "That so?  Then why ya bothering to defend yourself now, eh?"

       "Only is helping complete Kasumi overview of past fighting," said Shampoo as she began to stroll over toward Ranma.  "Thought you may be interested that I no was knocked out."

       "You really expect me to believe that considering you gave me the kiss of marriage?"

       "Oh that?" Shampoo laughed dismissively as she slowing began circling Ranma.  "That just for give good excuse stick round house where knowing female Ranma must be.  Only pretending unconscious while I deciding next move; kiss of marriage seeming much better strategy  than try fight ginst Ranma, violent girl, and Panda all at once, neh?"

       There was a moment of stunned silence and one "Oh my" before Ranma was able to regain his voice, "Oh ho, I get it.  This is just another one of your games.   Trying to make a fool of me because you're still bitter.  You're too deceptive for me to believe anything you say anyway.  Like you'd really screw around with your own law."

       "Why not?  As Ranma say, I is deceptive, and you seeing me use kiss of death as bluff before, right Akane?" purred the amazon as she lightly brushed her fingertips against Akane's cheek, causing Ranma's fist to clench.   

       "H-hai," said Akane, eyeing Shampoo's fingers warily, her mind still trying to grasp the full implications of what was happening.  Turning her gaze resolutely back to Shampoos' she asked, "So, it's really true that you're dumping Ranma, isn't it?"

       "She _is_ not…" *smack* Ranma's protests were halted by both girl's fists.

       "She all yours," Shampoo declared as she picked a dazed Ranma up by his hair and held him out to Akane.

       "Who said I wanted him?" huffed Akane as she turned away disdainfully.  Shrugging, Shampoo dropped Ranma rudely to the floor.  "Honestly," muttered Akane, "you didn't have to protest so much." 

       "Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.  Cutting a deal to end the engagement, then revealing it was never legal in the first place.  You're one slick dealer girl," said Nabiki with admiration.  "How much were you able to scam out of the chump anyway?"

       "Mmm.  Maybe Shampoo no should tell, thinking have embarrassed Ranma enough for today.  Still… maybe tell on way to photo shop.  Greedy girl wanting go now?  Storm over," said Shampoo as she walked back to her bike. 

       "Okay, I'm game," said Nabiki as she jumped on tandem.  "And I do have a name you know."

       "Hai, hai, old habits dying hard, neh?  Nab-chan better be holding on tight."

       "Nab… chan?  …Wait!  You're not seriously getting on t-that… that death machine with her, are you?!" asked a horrified Akane. 

       "Ha ha ha.  It'll be quite the thrill, won't it?" laughed Nabiki as she wrapped her arms around Shampoo.  "Certainly beats taking the boring old bus; won't cost a cent and probably make better time too."

       "No fear!" pronounced Shampoo melodramatically, "For with Shampoo at handlebars thine sister surely being brought back safely.  This Shampoo swearing.  Now, we is off!"  With an utterly unnecessary  U-turn (save that it allowed her to run Ranma over), the two took off like a shot; Nabiki letting out an enthusiastic holler and Shampoo waving backward.  "Bye bye "Sensei".  Shampoo look forward to next "lesson"." 

       "… heh.  Little does she realize I've got her right where I want her," rasped Ranma into the floor he was face down in.  "The true power of the Saotome Anything-Goes style is only given play against a truly challenging opponent.  By proving herself to be such she's played right into my hands.  Mwhahaha!  You wanted to learn my Anything-Goes style, Shampoo?  You've got it!  When next we meet I won't hold back; I'll show you it's true power over and over until it's beaten  into you and your begging for mercy!  Mwhahahahahaha!"

       "Oh dear, Ranma's still trying to pretend everything's going according to plan," said Kasumi.

       "More like he's completely losing it.  Hey Ranma!  Why don't you stop scaring the floor with your awful monologue and get up."

       "I would… except I think Shampoo ran right over my spine."  

       Heaving a sigh, Akane peeled Ranma  off the floor by his pigtail.  "Oh my!"  exclaimed Kasumi as she ran her finger down Ranma's spinous processes.  "Shampoo put out both your C-6 and L-5!  Both your brachial and sacral plexus are probably impinged.  No wonder you couldn't get up.  Shampoo must have an uncanny precision to do such specific damage with a tire.  You should probably take a hot bath and get the muscles all relaxed before trying to adjust them back in place.  Hmmm.  Actually, the expansion when you transform might pop them back in place all on its own."

       "Well, either way, you need a bath.  You’re a complete mess.  C'mon," ordered Akane as she dragged Ranma out of the dojo by his pigtail.  "I wonder why those two were so hot to get out to the photo shop anyway?"

       "-_-;  erm, I have no idea… ow!  Hey, watch what your dragging me over will ya?!"

       "Wuss.  Still… I suppose it would be a little cruel dragging you down the stairs like this," admitted Akane as she swung Ranma up and around into her arms. 

       "Hey… ya don't have to, uh…" blustered Ranma as he quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching.

       "Oh hush," admonished Akane as she peeked inside the house.  "Unless you'd rather I drag you downstairs."  Seeing that the coast was clear, Akane quickly slipped over to the stairs that led down to the bathroom.

       Not quite comfortable with being held like this, but feeling he'd already had enough physical abuse for one afternoon, Ranma changed the subject.  "Say, I never knew Kasumi knew all that medical stuff."

       "Well, she's always wanted to be a nurse practitioner," explained Akane as she opened the door to the laundry room, "but she deferred going off to university to help take care of the family.  That hasn't stopped her from borrowing books from Dr. Tofu though, and since your mother recently moved in she's had enough free time to start taking a correspondence course.  She's planning to go off to university the same year we do, you know."

       "Wow.  I never realized she was so busy.  A nurse practitioner, eh?  Figures somehow.  I'm sure she'll be great at it.  She really is a good women, isn't she,"  said Ranma as Akane came to a sudden halt before the bath.  The awkwardness of his temporary quadriplegia suddenly hit Ranma, "Uh… eh… you don't have to undress me…"

       "I suppose you'd rather have me send Kasumi in, is that it?  She's at least a "good women"; better suited for treating your injuries, right?  That's what you seemed to prefer in the dojo."

       "Damnit Akane!  That's not what I meant!  I was just honestly impressed with… Look, I'll be fine bathing in my clothes, ok?"

       "Don't be ridiculous," scolded Akane as she sat a blushing Ranma down on the wash stool.  "We're not going to ruin perfectly good bathing water because you're an immature idiot.  We're both girls right now, so there's nothing to get e-embarrassed about, you pervert," Akane said, steadying her hands as they started unbuttoning the knobs of Ranma's shirt.

       [Damn you Shampoo] thought Ranma in a feverent attempt to keep his mind off Akane's hands, which were now clumsily working on the knobs over his breasts.  [If they became aroused I'm soo dead.  And it's only gonna get worse once she starts washing…  Not going to think about that.  Damn you Shampoo.  Damn you, damn you, damn you!]     

End of Chapter 6

To be continued….