[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance:  Spirit of the Law

feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com

previous chapters may be found at https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb

Ranma 1/2 and its characters are the creation and property of Takahashi-sama and various other entities.  I’m just borrowing them without permission.  I promise to put them all back when I’m done... except possibly for Shampoo:)

Chapter 7

By:  Kaleb

       "ACHOO!"

       "Little drafty down there?"

       "Shut up."

       *HONK!*

       *CRASH* *SMASH*

       *SCHREEEECH* *CRUNCH* *WHEEOWHEEO*

       "Wow.  That's the third one so far.  Ya know… I think the cop wants _you_  to pull over.  There's probably some ordinance against biking downhill in a miniskirt, especially when you're not wearing any panties."

       "Shut up.  Clunky cop car no follow into little alley.  We losing there," said Shampoo as she cut sharply across several lanes of traffic into a narrow alleyway.  "This first time wearing such skirt.  Not Shampoo fault stupid foreign dress billowing at every chance.  Who hell make this thing?!"

       "Probably some sad lonely man."

       "Stupid male pigs!"

       "Speaking of which, it looks like that cop car is barely fitting in."

       "Bad!  But me fix," Shampoo said as she scanned the brick walls cordoning the alley.  Instantly identifying the weakest structural point, Shampoo lashed out at it.  Nabiki's eyes widened in shock as large chunks of wall collapsed behind them, covering their escape. 

       "Whoa!  You really are good."

       "When you training for attack pressure points and nerve system you learning be very precise aim.  Mother always drilling into me for recognize and attack weak points.  Walls much easier than humans;  they no dodge." 

       "They're a lot bigger and solider though, aren't they?"

       "Nah, mostly empty space, and have no will for holding form.  Nothing oppose when strike  and no acknowledge they existing; lets hand can go through like not there."

       "Sorta a delusion for giving you enough confidence to do something you'd never attempt if you were being sane and stopped to think about it?" 

       "Nah, Shampoo say it quantum mechanic thingy."

       "And who ever said quantum mechanics was sane?"

       "… Suppose Nab-chan right there.  But when get down really small level, even what appearing smooth is having much asymmetry.  Stress no distribute evenly, always one point where most stress converging, and that where hit."

       "Sure, but we're talking microscopic lattices here, isn't it a little hard to target those with something as big as your fingers?"

       "Help to use ki.  Focus it to itty bitty point match target."

       "Almost sounds like you were trained in the bakentetsu."

       "…..  Shampoo… never mastering that move.  Did much improve my aim and toughness."         

       "I'll say.  If I didn't see you do it all the time I wouldn't believe it myself.  So just how good are you anyway?"

       "Eh?  Let take little breather," panted Shampoo as she pulled the bike into another alleyway and brought it to a stop. 

       "Good idea.  All that excitement left me a little short of breath too," admitted Nabiki as she jumped off the bike.  Reclining against the wall, Nabiki pulled out a stick of Pocky and bit in.  "So come on, how good a fighter are you really?  I've never seen you go all out myself, but from the bits and pieces I've gathered you must have some serious power.  After all, you are the Champion of your people.  You don't get to be la creme de creme without talent."

       "Hmph.  Tourney fight much differ from real fight," shrugged Shampoo as she leaned against her bike.  Then she grimaced and lifted up the hem of her new miniskirt, "*sigh* Stupid foreign dress so embarrassing.  Shampoo should have waited for clothes done washing."

       "Tell you what, if it'd make you more comfortable, I could loan you my panties."

       "W-what?!"

       "Well, since I'm in jeans, I don't really need to worry about being peeked at, while you on the other hand… Let's say as a fellow girl I can sympathize with not wanting perverts peeking at your private parts."

       "Not that stop greedy girl charging rental fee, neh?"

       "Only 750 yen, plus they'll be fresh off the butt."

       "Like Shampoo care bout that!  Still, suppose be less embarrassing.  Fine for Ranma see, and not too embarrassing with other girls, but Shampoo detesting stupid strangers stare.  Give Shampoo creeps!"

       "Kinda hard for them not too the way you were flashing it," chuckled Nabiki as she unzipped her jeans.  Shampoo couldn't help but stare a bit; Nabiki's taste in lingerie was quite… decadent.  "It's really your own fault for not thinking ahead."

       "Yeah, yeah, Shampoo often not think ahead or considering consequences.  I knowing that already," grumbled Shampoo, blushing slightly as Nabiki wiggled out of her pants. 

       "No need to be so modest.  Honestly, would you say you're better than Ranma?" asked Nabiki as she hooked her thumbs under her waistband and pulled down her panties.

       "Who know?  Have yet for real fight," replied Shampoo, turning away slightly from the half nude Nabiki.

       "Fine.  Be coy," Nabiki smirked as she tossed her panties to Shampoo, letting them fall atop the amazon's head.  "We'll know soon enough.  Ranma's ego won't let the matter stand undecided.  About what I figured; even though Ranma is incapable of "letting" someone win, he might have been holding back against you at first, a fatal mistake given what you can do when given an opening.  A well placed pressure point attack can quickly seal a match, neh?"     

       "Surprised Nab-chan able wear such fancy panties in same house as little troll," said Shampoo as she removed Nabiki's lingerie from her head.

       "Happosai knows better than to mess with me, or Kasumi for that matter," bragged Nabiki as she slipped back into her jeans.  "Real women can run circles around men so fast it looks like they're standing still." 

*     *     *

       Happosai stumbled away from the TV in despair.  The day had started out so wonderful, but since he'd run into Ranma nothing had gone right.  He'd had such high expectations for his heir, but that incompetent impotent idiot had shown an utter inability to perform.  If Shampoo hadn't beaten the tar out of him Happosai would have done it just for principles sake.  His sole consolation had been discovering the Bikini Queens of the Beach Volleyball Championship playing on TV, but now even that small solace was being denied a poor old man by some stupid public announcement urging citizens to avoid downtown traffic due to horrible congestion caused by multiple pileups (Ironically, the rest of the report which played after Happosai stopped paying attention would surely have been to his interest, and also had the opposite of intended effect as droves of camera bearing men recklessly rushed downtown).

       His two other disciples momentarily stopped their game of Go to eye their mumbling master warily.  Strangely, something felt out of place to Happosai, but that was strange in itself, for it was completely de rigor for Sound and Genma to be wasting their time with that frivolous game… wait a second! 

       "Genma!  You worthless good for nothing, what the hell are you still doing here!" screeched Happosai in alarm.

       "Uh… well… you see… That list you had Kasumi give me?  There were a few questions I had about it master, and I didn't wish to disturb you from your show you seemed to be enjoying so much and…"

       "Enough with your pathetic excuses, just what was so unclear about it?!" snapped Happosai with impatience. 

       "Well, just one little thing really," explained Genma, "the handwriting.  I assure you that Soun and I labored long and hard to decipher it, but alas, we unworthy disciples were not equal to the…"

       "You probably gave it up after one glance."

       "Well, what did the note say master?"  asked Soun.

       "Yes, tell us master, and with utmost haste we shall make good upon its request," groveled Genma.     

       "'We', Saotome?'"

       "The note said… um… it said… hm… I forgot.  Let me see that thing." 

       Genma took out the crumpled piece of paper and laid it on the floor where all three could see it.  "Oh right, now I remember," said Happosai as he pointed to the big bold red kanji at the bottom.  "It was a warning.  See, that first kanji says so."

       "A warning?" said Genma nervously.  "About what?"

       "Don't rush me!  I'm still working on this second word."

       "Hey Saotome?  Isn't that Ranma's name?" asked Soun. 

       "Why so it is Tendo.  I'd recognize my own flesh and blood even in the master's monstrous script…"  Suddenly Genma's face went pale and he pointed a trembling finger at the kanji in the middle of the warning.

       "Saotome?  Is something wrong… oh, that looks a little bit like Nodoka's name, doesn't it?"

       "So we've got "warning"… "Ranma"… and "Nodoka"," summarized Happosai, who was still stumped on the second symbol.  Suddenly all three men froze in realization. 

       "GENMA!!"

        and then vacated the room with startling speed, save for the one unfortunate soul who found his gi pinned firmly to the floor by a familiar and menacing katana. 

       *sigh*  No, nothing seemed to be going right, thought Happosai dejectedly.  There was only one cure for this gloom; a good bosom nuzzling.  Besides, Ranma owed him big time for this morning.  

*     *     *

       "Besides, Ranma's so much funner to mess with," added Nabiki.  "You know, the way you added insult to injury back in the dojo was just beautiful; implying that the kiss of marriage had been coldly calculated to lead Ranma on just so you could get closer to female Ranma.  Course, he's probably a bit doubtful about that," admonished Nabiki in a way that suggested he wasn't the only one. 

       "Heh.  Nab-chan slipping," tsked Shampoo as she twirled the girl's panties on her finger.  "Better for Ranma doubt than having certainty.  Crushing certainty can let go of once accepting, but doubt relentlessly plaguing.  As long as worrisome possibility persisting, no matter how remote Ranma finding, he no be able rest.  "Could she be better?"  "Did she not love me?"  Will gnaw at edge of Ranma ceaselessly, driving slowly insane, like Chinese water torture.  Drip.  Drip.  Dri…  Hey!  These panties slightly wet!"

       "Uh… heh, heh… guess things were just a bit _too_ exciting with that close call around the second car wreck, neh?" laughed Nabiki nervously, scratching at the back of her head.  "Really, there's barely anything there.  I'm sure you won't even notice once they're on."

       Suspicious, but stopping short of sniffing at the suspect stain, Shampoo settled for giving Nabiki a derisive grunt as she slipped into the silken undergarments.  "Now see why greedy girl so hot give adulterating goods to Shampoo." 

       "Now, now, I haven't been in business so long by dealing in cheap ass products.  Nabiki Tendo only delivers top quality goods and services that you'll be hard pressed to find elsewhere.    Admit it, they feel quite nice, don't they," said Nabiki as she jumped back onto Shampoo's bike.

       "They is nice," admitted Shampoo, "but… is kinda weird too…"

       "Weird?"

       "Neverminding.  Probably just cause first time wear nother girl's panties…  Let go," said Shampoo as she climbed back on her bike.  Still, she couldn't quite shake her slight self consciousness that she was in someone else's panties.  Perhaps it was that their exquisite style reflected their owner's personality so well, or that their fresh warmth seemed to convey her lingering presence.  Whatever it was, Shampoo didn't wish to delve any deeper into it.

       “It’s sure taking us awhile to get where we’re going,” noted Nabiki as Shampoo began looking for a route back to the main road.  “Do you have any idea where you’re going?”

       “Course I do,” said Shampoo too quickly, “Sometimes is just best taking little back road detours.”

       “Uh huh.  Aren’t back road detours supposed to be a little, I don’t know, scenic?” said Nabiki distastefully as Shampoo swerved around a passed out drunk and overflowing dumpster. 

       “Hey, you is having fun right?  And as long as with Shampoo have something worth time for watch,” smirked the amazon.  “ ‘Sides, if have problem with route I take can be getting off anytime want.”    

       “Nah, you’re right, all in all I’m having fun.  So…” began Nabiki as they took off down a side street and she wrapped her arms around Shampoo's waist, "now that you've dumped Ranma, what are you planning?"

       "Planning?  I never planning," said Shampoo innocently. 

       "Forgive me, calling your style any less than plotting doesn't do justice to its deviousness.  But isn't it a little exciting now that your romantic possibilities are wide open?"

       "Seem be exciting Nab-chan more than Shampoo."

       "I'll confess, your becoming available has made me quite excited," whispered Nabiki as she leaned fully against Shampoo.

       "H-hey…" gulped Shampoo, finding herself  suddenly becoming very aware of Nabiki's weight sinking into her back. 

       "Just thinking about it makes my blood boil," Nabiki whispered temptingly into the amazon's crimson ear.  "Do you know much the guys would pay just for me to introduce them to you?  And if I could guarantee a date…  ooh, it makes me feel all tingling inside.  Of course I'd give you a cut… not to mention the free meal and movie…"

       "Wanna-be-pimp-girl this close get pounding."

       "Whoa there girl, I'm just having fun with you.  No need to take it so seriously.  If you don't feel like dating boys I can understand that; perhaps you're not as over Ranma as you're pretending to be?"

       "If greedy girl so hot for scam, how bout find own date for milking dry?" replied Shampoo dryly. 

       "*sigh* Been there, done that.  I used to date a lot, but now a days…"

       "Heh heh.  No can get anymore, neh?  Breaking one to many bank account.  That too rich!   Suppose stupid males even learning after be used enough," Shampoo laughed.   

       "Jeesh, I feel like I'm the only one opening up here, and all I'm getting is made fun of," huffed Nabiki.

       "Sure, like greedy girl actually interested in Shampoo," teased the amazon.  "You just wanting information for turn next profit.  I probably meaning much to greedy capitalist pig girl as other boys whom squeezing dry then discard.  Really expect anyone warming up to that?"  

       "Would you give the greedy girl thing a rest already?  You're starting to piss me off Shampoo!  And for your information smart ass, I'm not a capitalist; though I suppose I should expect a commie's grasp of economics to be majorly fucked up.  The industrial age is giving way to the information age, making information the most valuable resource.  Is there anything wrong with me looking to make a profit on the side while having fun?!" 

       "Depend whether care if keeping others from trusting.  Greedy girl ever thinking bout anything else?"

       "Than money?  So I love it.  But it's just a mean to an end; I don't care about having it, what I love is the acquiring and using of it, both of which give me fun and pleasure.  The purpose of life is to pursue as much pleasure as possible, and with money one can have whatever one pleases."

       "What bout love?"  said Shampoo bitterly.  "Could Shampoo have bought Ranma heart?"

       "Why would you want it?"  Shampoo turned back angrily, ready to let the Epicurean have it, but stopped short as she saw Nabiki staring down at white lines zipping by on the road.  "Who in their right mind would waste money on love," whispered Nabiki. 

       "Did you know that in English the word for care is derived from words for sorrow and lamentation?  The more you care for something, the more grief it will bring you.  Look at yourself.  What good did it do you loving Ranma?  All it did was end up hurting you.  Yet you're probably foolishly envying Akane.  But look at how often Ranma hurts her.  He won't be a good bread winner either.  All he can do is martial arts, but he doesn't have the patience or the empathy to be a good teacher.  Some good having Ranma's love will do Akane, saddling her with a weak wage earner.  Then there's that father of his.  Thanks to youthful infatuation, or "love" for you romantics, Auntie Saotome is stuck with that useless scoundrel."  Shampoo was surprised at the growing venom in Nabiki's voice.  "And… and then there's my Dad.  After the accident… he completely fell apart.  It was all Kasumi could do to get him to eat enough to keep from starving.  He got so skeletal that I was afraid he was going to leave us too.  For months afterwards there'd be times where he'd just sit around staring off into space…"

       "Kinda like you doing right now?"                        

       "Oh, you think you know everything, don't you smart ass! Well then tell me this:  what the hell good did love do any of you?!  There was no profit in it for you, only a loss, making it worth than worthless in the end!  You'd all be better off if you'd never loved in the first place.  You wouldn't have ended up so fucking hurt!"

       "We here," announced Shampoo as she pulled to a stop in front of the one hour photo.  "But first…" taking Nabiki by the arm, she pulled her and the bike into a nearby alleyway. 

       "W-what do you think you're doing?"

       "Giving Nab-chan answer," said Shampoo as she pulled out a bottle of 411 shampoo and started working it into Nabiki's hair.  "Is better not love so not get hurt, right?  Purpose of life have pleasure and avoiding pain?  So best thing Shampoo can do for Nab-chan is erasing memory of Mother, cause loved her, right?  Now just relax while Shampoo working pressure points, only take couple seconds."

       "…DON"T YOU DARE!!" screamed Nabiki as she slapped Shampoo away.  Stumbling back from the amazon in horror, Nabiki clutched at her shivering body as the full weight of what Shampoo had been about to do hit her.  "Don't you dare touch me!"

       "Nab-chan no making sense.  Thought said better to not love?  Suppose could just targeting all memories make you love her."

       "…!  That'd be the same thing moron!  When you love somebody you love everything about them, all the time you had together, even their faults and the bad times, because without those they wouldn't be who they were!  Stay the hell away from me!"

       "Nab-chan irrational.  Contradict self.  This help bring back calculating sense," said Shampoo as she pulled out a green and white comb, offering it to Nabiki.  "Is solid jade engrave with pure mother-of-pearl.  Will trade for Nab-chan memory."

       "W-why… why are… you doing this?!" said Nabiki as she began hyperventilating. 

       "Just want help Nab-chan.  Why holding on worse than worthless memories which cause pain, especially when could have this and get much money for get much pleasure?"

       "Because… because…" whimpered Nabiki as she collapsed to her knees.

       "…  But Nab-chan won't sell, will she?  Wouldn't matter what offer, would it?  All logic analysis turn out load of crap when push come shove.  Goddess, intellectual cynics is always so pathetic in end…  Ya know, Nab-chan lucky have mostly lovely mother memories, I don't… but still no would give up…"

       "Here.  Take these into the shop," ordered Nabiki, looking away as she thrust a canister of film at the amazon.

       "Shampoo understand," said the amazon sympathetically as she took the film, leaving  Nabiki alone with herself for awhile.

       Still, her sympathy, and renewed respect for the other girl's pride, wasn't going to prevent her from needling Nabiki.  "Ground slightly wet," noted Shampoo as she returned from dropping off the film, "Nab-chan have another little "piss" ?"

       "Piss off, smart ass," said Nabiki with a smirk as she stood back up.  "Hey, Shampoo…"

       "Hai?"

       "You want to grab a drink while we're waiting for that film?"  Asked Nabiki as she headed out of the alleyway.  Looking back over her shoulder she added with a wink, "My treat."

End of Chapter 7

To be continued…