[fic][Ranma] Shampoo's Chance:  Spirit of the Law

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Shampoo's Chance:  Spirit of the Law

Chapter 8

       "What can I get for you two young ladies?"

       "Um…" mumbled Shampoo, biting her lower lip as she scanned the menu for something she could read off without the risk of mangling the pronunciation and looking stupid.  Whoever named these drinks had far too much time and imagination on his hands.  What the hell was a 'Zettai Fuji Ambrosia' supposed to be?  It was all Greek to her.  Maybe the description would shed some light.  Ultimate vodka drink on the rocks suitable for the gods served by maid of honeyed hair?  Or not.  This was coming across like some badly subbed Chinese bootleg.  What type of savages put rocks in a drink?  Or silver for that matter, as some of these crazy concoctions had it listed amongst their ingredients.  She'd heard of mineral water, but this was  taking it a bit too far.  A lot of the words she was trying to figure out might as well be in some totally alien tongue for all the sense they made; 'vode-kah', 'teh-ki-lah', 'rume'…

       "I'll have a Chocolate Kahlua shake with extra cream," ordered Nabiki, winking at the waiter as she discretely slipped a bill into his pocket.

       "Certainly Nabiki-sama."  Then turning to the sweatdropping Shampoo he asked if she'd made up her mind yet.

       "Uh… you serve pinacolad…?"

       "She'll have the same as me."

       "All right.  That'll be two Chocolate Kahlua shakes with extra cream coming right up."

       "What Kahlua?" asked Shampoo nervously as the waiter went back to mix their drinks.

       "The combination of man's two greatest inventions," replied Nabiki with a wink.  "You'll love it."

       "Nab-chan sure?  Really, pinacolada be fine.  Grandmother warn me must be watching out for foreign vice.  Says much 'civilizeds' food junk no fit for amazon warrior."

       "Shampoo, Shampoo…" said Nabiki sadly as she shook her head, "Life's too short for sticking to the straight and narrow twenty four seven.  A real warrior has enough sense of adventure and courage to try out new experiences instead of cowardly keeping to what they know.  There's no growth in that, nor harm in occasionally indulging yourself."

       "Occasionally, neh?  From what see Nab-chan indulge self twenty four seven.  Always got something in mouth.  No stay straight and narrow stick if keep that up."

       "Who said I'm straight?" asked Nabiki as she stood up profile to Shampoo, cupping her breasts and arching her back.  "I've got just the right amount of curves, wouldn't you say?" Shampoo grudgingly nodded as Nabiki turned back toward her with hands on hips.  "Speaking of curves, how are those panties fitting?"

       "…"

       "I'll take it by that murderous glare of yours that they're a little tight," laughed Nabiki as she sat back down.

       "Okay, so my butt little bigger than yours," grumbled a blushing Shampoo, "Honestly, no can figure out how Nab-chan keeping such great shape."

       "Well… I could tell you my secret, for 2500 yen," whispered Nabiki. 

       "… 2000.  And not like Shampoo need," the amazon quickly added as she slid the money across the table, "just is curious.  How Nab-chan do it?"  

       Pocketing the cash, then looking around to make sure no was watching, Nabiki leaned in til her lips brushed against Shampoo's ear, then slowly whispered, "Nabiki Tendo's top secret, patent pending, 100% guaranteed or your money back (some exceptions may apply) weight loss secret for that big butt or troublesome thighs…"

       "Enough with lead in already!  And there nothing wrong with Shampoo thighs… is there?"

       "Certainly not," declared the waiter gallantly as he took the opportunity to freely ogle Shampoo's bare thighs.  "You've got absolutely stunning legs, don't let Nabiki try and tell you otherwise.  The little vixen is probably  trying to con you into buying some quack weight loss secret or something."  Setting the two large shakes on the table, he turned toward Shampoo.  "Now I know that rude companion of yours, but I don't believe I've had the pleasure of being  introduced to you.  I'm…"

       "Yo, Anno, I think that table back there is waiting for their check," warned Nabiki as she jerked her thumb back behind her.  "You wouldn't want to risk losing your tip, now would you?"

       "Hai, hai," sighed Anno as he made himself scarce.

       "Creep," muttered Nabiki, "That'll cost him several percent, and unless he did a bang up job on these shakes he can forget getting anything at all."

       "Shampoo make up difference then," sniffed the amazon.  "I like him."

       "Oh come on Shampoo, don't tell me you fell for his smooth talking bullshit."

       "Bullshit?  Waiter boy seem right on money regarding Nab-chan.  You just jealous Shampoo one get hit on."

       "You, girlfriend, have just argued your way into paying our tip."

       "I be sure make it extra," smirked Shampoo.  Compared to the cost of a generous gratuity, the involuntary twitch which temporarily marred Nabiki's usually mask like face was priceless.    Besides, any waiter brave enough to risk irking greedy girl deserved a reward in Shampoo's book.  "Really, greedy girl no should shortchange waiters; tough job they have."

       "Sure they do Shampoo," said Nabiki sarcastically as she started sipping at her drink.  "In case you commies screwing around with market wages has made you forget, a jobs value is equal to its wage.  Low wage jobs are those that take no talent and almost anyone can do." 

       "Sure, Nab-chan _could_ do, but _would_ you?"

       "Hell no.  My times far more valuable than to waste it waiting on others.  Mmmhh.  This drinks soo good," sighed Nabiki.

       "So, Nab-chan willing take advantage of service while badmouthing it, even though no would be willing provide it self?"  asked Shampoo angrily.  "Should at least respecting labor which let you enjoy luxury like drink.  Was arrogant attitudes like Nab-chans' which causing Revolution in first place!"  accused Shampoo as she stood to her feet.

       "Well at least we Japanese aren't so weak we need our government to coddle us like little kids," spat Nabiki.

       "Yeah, well how well that working?  China been growing round 8% many years now, how you liking your economy, neh?"

       "Just fine," smirked Nabiki.   "The deflation's been making the money my loans get paid back in more valuable, and they're small enough that I don't have to worry much about them defaulting, not that I've let that stop me from using the tight money supply as an excuse to jack up my interest rates.  But you're right," admitted Nabiki self-deprecatingly, "Our economy has sucked for the last decade or so.  And I shouldn't look down on you waiters.  Really, I do appreciate your service, I just guess it's easy to start taking them for granted.  So spare me when the proletariat rises up, kay?"

       "Sure," smiled Shampoo as she sat back down.  "Will snatch Nab-chan from get guillotined and make slave instead."

       "I could live with that," laughed Nabiki, giving a pleasured sigh as she took a long leisurely sip from her drink.

       The lull in the conversation forced Shampoo to dubiously face hers.  Whatever it was, she'd be willing to bet it _wasn't_ going to be good for her; certainly it wouldn't get her grandmother's approval as part of a healthy young amazon warrior's diet, but well, her grandmother wasn't here right now, and, now that she was no longer distracted by her heated argument with Nabiki, she couldn't help but notice how sinfully delightful was the effervescent scent of her drink; like gentle ripples upon a pond of pure pleasure her brain was slowly skinny dipping into. 

       Ambivalence giving way to temptation, Shampoo took the plunge.  Nabiki chuckled as the amazon's first taste caused her eyes to bug out.  Coughing from the sheer shock to her system, Shampoo stared at her drink dumbfounded.  "Aiyah…" panted the amazon in disbelief, "is… much intense…"

       "Hmmm.  Perhaps I misjudged," mused Nabiki as she calmly sipped her drink, "Maybe Kahlua is too strong for little Shanchan.  If you need any help finishing it off I'll be happy to help."

       Glaring defiantly at Nabiki, Shampoo picked up her mug and quickly downed a succession of large gulps.  It was a strong drink, but already at her second taste she was beginning to acquire an appreciation for this strange blend of foreign flavors, and as her coughs subsided a silly grin spread across her outer features as a pleasant warmth spread within. 

       This serene expression was suddenly interrupted by a most unmaidenly belch.  Shampoo covered her mouth and blushed in embarrassment, but immediately her silly grin crept back and her hand was unable to contain the giddy giggles that started sneaking out past it.  [Perhaps I _did_ misjudge] thought Nabiki nervously as a sweatdrop formed upon her brow.    

       "Mmmhhh.  Shampoo think getting hang of it," announced the amazon as she finished off another gulp without coughing.

       "Yep, you sure are.  So maybe you should ease up now, you know, use that straw thing they put in there…"

       "Straws for civilized pansy's," declared Shampoo as she chugged down more drink.  "We's never bothering with them back home.  What matter?  Kawhatsit to strong for little Nab-chan chug down?"

       A brief fantasy of baiting Shampoo into a bet flashed through Nabiki's mind.  The idea was quickly killed by a sobering image of what a few more drinks might do to the amazon.  "We are _not_ getting into a drinking contest Shampoo.  You're getting scary enough as is.  I need you fit to bike us back home once we're done with our business down here." 

       Nabiki shivered at how close her instinct for making a good bet had got her to trouble.  She probably could drink the amazon under the table, but it would have left herself in a worrisome condition.  The thought of what she might be like if she really let herself go was even more disturbing than a drunk Shampoo.  Nabiki indulged herself frequently, and in many ways, but never to dissipation.  She prided herself on not letting her desires control her, unlike those pathetic losers who were slaves to the soft porn pics she peddled, or the mounting interest payments on the debts she let them pile up because they were to weak to wait for their wishes to be fulfilled.  

       "Nab-chan sure this legal?  Is so good, could be easy become addicted," joked Shampoo.

       "True.  Then you'll really be needing my weight loss secret."

       "Oh yeah… Nab-chan still needing tell.  And leave out stupid lead in."

       "If you insist.  Nabiki Tendo's weight loss secret is… drum roll please," to Shampoo's irritation, Nabiki insisted on rapping her knuckles rapidly against the table.  Just as the amazon's patience was about to snap, Nabiki brought her crescendo to a climax and divulged her secret of "Squid on a Stick!"

       "… Squid?  That it?!"

       "Don't forget the on a stick part, and make sure it's raw.  Let me tell you, you burn more calories chewing those tough mother suckers than you get from digesting them.  By the time you manage to finish him off your jaw's too tired to take anything else on for awhile, and besides, they're filling enough to leave you satisfied."

       "Bleah!  Shampoo rather have big butt than eating slimy tentacle thing."      

       "Suit yourself.  I'll stick with my squid."

       "Even _if_ stupid squid keeping from get fat, no healthy way Nab-chan eat.  Catching up with her someday one way or another."

       "Maybe, maybe not.  There are a lot of ways to die.  Eating healthy sure didn't help my mom live any longer," said Nabiki, unable to keep a slight trace of bitterness out of her voice.  Despite her drink having loosened her tongue considerably, Shampoo didn't know quite what to say. 

       "None of us know how long we're going to get.  We could be going along, minding our own business, and suddenly some idiots in North Korea could push a button and incinerate us along with everyone else in the city, and…"

       "Think they target Okinawa instead, that where main base being, neh?"

       "Yeah, but there aim with those Taepodong missiles sucks, who knows what they'd hit?  The point is life's a chancy thing.  Hell, my mom didn't even get thirty friggin years.  For all you know, today could be your last, and if it is, you'll sure be feeling stupid for having held back from enjoying life's pleasures.  …You know, I was with my mom when that driver hit us.  If the dice had fallen a bit differently I could just as easily have ended up dead too.  Bam.  Just like that.  Lights out.  It's gonna happen eventually, but the reaper won't find me with any regrets." 

       "So Nab-chan no believing in after life?"

       "Heh.  Afterwards Kasumi told me not to be so sad, that Mother had gone to heaven and would happily live there forever with God, and I'd get to see her again someday.  But at the funeral, a friend of the family told me to cheer up; that my mother would be reborn and live again, just like the spring green following the dead of winter.  That confused me, it didn't seem like mother could both stay in heaven forever and be reborn at the same time. 

       "To settle the matter, I asked my Dad whether Mom was in heaven or had been reincarnated.  He stumbled around for a bit, finally trying to console me that Mom would reincarnate.  So I asked him why we couldn't go find her, wherever she'd be reborn.  He couldn't give me an answer, he just started crying.  People think kids are stupid, that they can't pick up on things, but adults would be mortified if they really knew how much kids notice.  I could tell that my Dad didn't really believe what he was saying, that he was just trying to make me feel better.  That deep down, he felt mother was gone.  And at that moment I realized I too was mortal." 

       "As I grew older, the multiplicity of fantastic and often contradictory beliefs about life after death reinforced that they were all just stories cultures invented to offer a false hope;  I'm aware of my self because of the activity of my brain, and when that hardware stops functioning, that's that.  But enough of my gloomy materialism, what happens to amazon warrior's when they fall in battle?  Do you fight glorious wars endlessly in Valhalla, or enjoy the company and services of seventy two virgin and virile men in Paradise?"               

       "… Don't know.  Shampoo not so arrogant for assume know what final fate being.  But is knowing this:  I aware of self acting under own volition.  No explaining those with materialistic mechanistics, so concluding Shampoo have immaterial part that maybe surviving body."

       "Well answered.  It _is_ pretty presumptuous to think you've got it all figured out, isn't it?  Hell, I can't even explain consciousness and freewill, despite them being the most vivid and direct reality I experience.  Trying to deny them away with determinism is more ridiculous than most religious faiths.  I'd sooner admit to Kasumi that God sacrificed himself to himself than believe my immediate awareness of the choices I make is all a farce predetermined by some primeval Laplace nebula." 

       There was a slight pause as both girls looked thoughtfully into their drinks.  Shampoo broke it with a shrug as she drained her mug to the last drop, dregs and all.  "Death pretty sobering, neh?" chuckled the amazon in between coughs.  "But if there heaven, betting they's have endless supply of feel good drink, neh?" 

       "So?  You think we'd really make the cut?"  smirked Nabiki.

       "True.  True.  We's baaad little girls," laughed the amazon.  "But if Nab-chan go flames-flame place, Shampoo rather too; there be all fun intresting folks."  Her hair having become disheveled when she'd choked on the dregs, Shampoo ran her hand through her purple bangs,  smoothing them out.  Noticing Nabiki smiling at her, Shampoo paused mid stroke and gazed curiously back at her. 

       "W-what?" said a suddenly self conscious Nabiki.

       "Is strange.  That first time Nab-chan smile seem reaching eyes.  Makes look much pretty."

       Taken aback, Nabiki looked away and blushed.  "No.  You're the one who's beautiful.  Even with your pidgin speech and getting wasted there's a certain primal purity and grace to everything you do."

       "What this?  Traditional Japnese modesty from Nab-chan?  That settling it.  Must be drugged drinks.  Not that stop me from order 'nother one," said Shampoo as she peered into her empty mug. 

       "Wait!  I don't think that's a good idea…"

       "No worry, Shampoo pay for second round."

       "That's not what I meant…  Here, you can have the rest of mine, but that's it, ok?"

       "Nab-chan no needing give up drink," protested Shampoo.

       "That's okay.  I've had enough.  When _you_ start looking good to me, I know I've had too much," said Nabiki jokingly as she slid the half finished drink toward Shampoo.  "And how about you use the straw this time?"

       "That price for drink?  Using Nab-chan straw?" said the amazon slyly as she formed a V with her fingers and began casually running them up and down the shaft of the folding straw, her other hand playing with the folded part itself.  "Greedy girl liking that, wouldn't she?"  insinuated Shampoo as she bent over the mug (and exposed plenty of her own jugs in the process).  "So shy and indirect," sighed Shampoo melodramatically as she closed her eyes and slowly pressed her lips to Nabiki's straw.  Opening one eye, Shampoo couldn't resist adding with a wink "Ya know, Shampoo liking drink enough Nab-chan probably coulda haggled up for real thing."

       Nabiki stared in stunned disbelief at Shampoo as she slurped sensuously on the straw.  Finally she shook her head, "You are one wicked girl, Shampoo.  Now cut out those little noises; there's such a thing as overkill you know."

       "But Nab-chan making pleased noises as used straw," Shampoo whined.

       "Yes, but it's _far_ more disturbing the way you do it."

       "Ah, Nab-chan no fun," pouted Shampoo, "damn Japs all is too uptight."

       "Outside of the red light district, I'm one of the least uptight Japanese you're going to find in Nerima."

       "Really?  Maybe uptight wrong word, but Nab-chan can be quite Ice-Queen; is similar, neh?  Why think no get dates?  Cause soul stays frigid.  Bet Nab-chan never even get real kissed," said Shampoo as she plucked the straw from her drink and waved it accusingly at Nabiki.  "Guys giving up if no show any affection."

       "As an amazon you wouldn't understand," sighed Nabiki.  "You live in a world where woman outrank men.  But it's a whole different story in the real world, especially here in Japan.  Start to give a man access to your body, even just your lips, and he starts to think of you as his possession.  He wants you to be his; to own you.  Pretty soon he thinks he's entitled to expectations of you.  I won't let my freedom be tied down like that."

       "But love where you belonging body and soul to another, neh?  And they complete belong to you?"

       "Puuhleease, Shampoo.  You're to smart to buy into all that romanticism.  I'd have thought your relationship with Ranma would have taught you by now it's all just so much bullshit."

       "Then what _is_ love?" asked Shampoo plaintively. 

       For some reason, Nabiki found herself becoming irritated by the sincerity of the amazon's question.  "It's a chimera Shampoo.  Just a flashy show of electric chemical fireworks in the brain, kicking up enough smoke in that hall of mirrors to conceal the real purpose of passing on our genes.  Once that's done, the magic glow from those fireworks fade."

       "Nab-chan… really believing that?" 

       "C'mon, I'm sure you amazons know what men are really like.  What "love" is to them.  It's been real clear to me ever since I found out how much I could make off Ona-Ranma pics.  They take us out on dates cause they hope to 'take us' in their beds."

       "Not all man like that!  Ranma not!"

       "He's a spineless wimp.  Wait til he gets his first taste of that forbidden fruit, then see what he's like.  If the Juesynko curse didn't short circuited his sex drive that is."

       "No.  Ranma not get so embarrassed if not feeling anything.  He healthy young male, but have much honor… and unfathomable will; not let self be ruled by "electric chemical" soup; he better than that!"  Shampoo was now positively snarling at Nabiki.  "Ranma would no sleep with girl he no loving! …!"  Shampoo slumped back into her seat with a look of surprise on her face.

       "I suppose no one knows that better than you," admitted Nabiki slyly.

       "Shut up!"  snarled the amazon as she clutched at her head.  "Just shut fuck up.  There something fucking wrong with you which rub Shampoo wrong way.  Goddess… how can now admiring what _was_ so lack of fucking frustrating?" wondered Shampoo aloud as she held up her suddenly heavy head.  "Know what?" said the amazon as she regained her bearings.  "Nab-chan wrong bout lots of stuff.  Those fireworks?  They no fading.  When real, they searing feelings and face of beloved on heart, forever; like painful flames of hell.  And will always be hurting til day we die.  Cause real love lasts.  And Nab-chan knowing all this even better than I.  Shampoo no understand what is love, family, or friendship, but that closer than Nab-chan is.  And _I_ still willing keep looking."

       ""He who admits he knows nothing knows more than anyone else", eh?  Really, I'm the wrong person to ask about love," confessed Nabiki sympathetically.  "Maybe that true love stuff does happen to a few very fortunate people, but it's very rare; like winning the lottery.  Don't bank on it.  For every wild stallion out there (not that he's a worthwhile catch) there are plenty more wolves."

       "Funny how Pleasure Queen keep insulting men.  What bout her?  Surely she have amorous desires too, neh?  You Japs pretend be so upright in public, but bet you is real perverts behind close doors."

       "No more so than you, I'd imagine," replied Nabiki.  Pleased to see Shampoo blush in response, Nabiki decided to press in further.  "I'll confess, I indulge myself at least once an evening, but unlike _some_ people, it's not a vulgar caving in to my desire.  When I do it, I do it gladly, stylishly, and of my own free will," Nabiki declared huskily.

       "Y-you… you shameless wench!"

       "Hypocrite."

       "No compare us!  Shampoo not like you!  Have supposed-be-husband, was okay for me having fantasies, right?  Tried waiting for longest time, but became so frustrating, then took only one moment weakness…"

       "And you haven't been able to stop doing it since, neh?" laughed Nabiki. 

       "Stop laugh!  I not that bad, certainly no do anywhere near as much as Pleasure Queen," sniffed Shampoo as she turned up her nose at Nabiki.

       "Sure, but _I_  freely choose when I do it," repeated Nabiki as she amusedly looked down her nose at Shampoo, "so which of us is _really_  the stronger?"  [suck on that my little barbarian princess]  "Anyway, there are a lot worse habits you could have.  It's nothing to be ashamed of.  Virtually every single guy does it, even your "virtuous" Ranma I'd bet."

       "But we's supposed be stronger than those base animals!"        

       "Okay.  Fine.  If you want to feel guilty, be my guest.  Just don't go condemning the rest of  us.  It's a safe outlet for the passions; no need to worry about diseases or getting weighed down with a brat."

       "Nab-chan regret calling em brats when she have own brood someday," admonished Shampoo.

       Nabiki raised her eyebrow.  "My own brood?  Why would I tie myself down like that?"

       Shampoo looked at Nabiki in shock.  "Nab-chan can't mean… surely not saying no have…"

       "Brats?  No thanks, that's one hassle I can do without.  Taking care of some smelly, helpless, whiny infant is hardly my idea of a good time.  Why waste my ability and life being a mere housewife?  It'd really cramp my style."

       Now Shampoo knew there was a wide cultural gap between the two of them, but _this_ felt alien not just to her own tribes teachings, but to universal law itself, and it deeply disturbed her.  "How… how you say that?  You is women, right?  Why you think Goddess giving you womb?!"

       "Blind evolution gave it to me, but it's utterly uncaring for my happiness, in fact often running contrary to it, so why should I care for it's "agenda"?  As a conscious feeling being my happiness is sure as hell more important than whatever you think unfeeling impersonal nature "wants" of me.  In the end the only one I have to answer to is myself." 

       "Now Shampoo certain; something very wrong with Nab-chan," said the amazon as she shook with barely contained fury.  "Thank Goddess I not atheist; you live in smallest, bleakest, meaningless world imaginable.  Make me feel sick!"

       There is a sadistic glee which can be found in outraging other's sensibilities, and Nabiki was relishing it.  With a shit eating grin she continued to expound her cosmology.  "You're the one who's wrong.  My world does have meaning; not that there's any inherent purpose to the universe, but that's even better because it leaves me free to make up my own; the universe exists to amuse Nabiki Tendo."

       "…That ridiculous!" sputtered Shampoo.

       "No more than any other meaning one tries to ascribe to creation.  At least it keeps the world from looking bleak when it exists all for me."

       "That so?  We free make up meaning for universe?"  Suddenly Shampoo lashed out and grabbed Nabiki by her collar.  "What if Shampoo deciding universe exist for abuse Nabiki Tendo, neh?  Maybe it amusing me to smash open stupid girls head just for see how much shit in there!  That type of world you want live in?!"

       "Cut the crap Shampoo," said Nabiki as she bravely looked into the amazon's angry eyes.  "You're one of the last people with the right to get all righteous on my ass.  I've got rules in my world.  My rules.  Maybe they aren't your type of rules, but I could care less considering how you bend and break your tribal law whenever it suits you, while I've at least got the honor to always play by my personal code of conduct."

       "For example, I've never killed anyone, and I don't intend to try; the cruel brevity of my life makes me realize how precious it is, and if there's no afterlife, extinguishing even a single soul is an unimaginably horrible thing to do.  You on the other hand have tried to kill my sister simply because she was in your way.  So which one of us is the more moral?  Oh ho, nice face your making there.  There's a beautiful purity to your anger, but you can't answer me, can you?  You even would like to kill me." 

       Snarling with impotent rage, Shampoo focussed her attention on the trembling white knuckles of her hand with the death grip on Nabiki's collar.  Digging her nails in, Shampoo only was able to relax her grip once a trickle of blood started running down her palm.  "Like Nab-chan ever tested or overcoming temptation," whispered the amazon as she turned away.   

       "I'll admit I'm impressed," said Nabiki as she straightened out her crinkled collar, "for a backwater barbarian you're remarkably bright.  Seems Cologne's done a beautiful job training her heir's mind as well as body.  If you two gals are typical examples of the leaders your people produce, I can see how your culture has lasted so long.  However, perhaps you're now grasping that it's your world that's been the small one; limited to your people, while mine is a wide open world of absolute freedom.  Don't be sore that you can't keep up with such an unshackled mind," Nabiki said patronizingly as she placed her hand on Shampoo's shoulder.  "It's only natural for the civilized to overcome barbarians."

       "Shampoo suppose Nab-chan win that battle," sighed the amazon as she lightly placed her hand atop Nabiki's.  As Shampoo turned around, head bent humbly, she felt Nabiki's pulse quicken when she intertwined their fingers.  "But in end…" Shampoo placed Nabiki's hand over her heart, let her have one last feel, then coolly dropped it, "she all 'lone; Nab-chan world only big as her cuz she only one in it, and when she gone so be world, as if never existing."  Now Shampoo raised her head, revealing an icy gaze and cruel smirk that seemed to freeze the space between the two into an impenetrable wall of ice.  "And so to fall "civlized" world too cuz of such selfish persons."

       Even though Shampoo was standing aloof from her, Nabiki felt like she was being advanced upon as the amazon's words crept glacially across the gulf separating them.  Nabiki opened her mouth to find the words to fend off the amazon's accusations, but all there was inside was a black void that seemed to freeze her tongue.  The coldness spread through her body, making her shiver in dread;  there was nothing now between her and that glacier bearing down on her.  Slowly but surely it was going to crush her under icy oblivion, and all she could do was watch in horror, her feet being frozen to the floor.  Nabiki looked desperately at the last part of her body that still had some warmth; the hand which Shampoo had pressed to her heart, but even that heat was rapidly dispersing, a bloodstained blotch being all that was left behind.

       "In end we barbarian always wins," declared Shampoo triumphantly as she finished off her second drink.  "Shampoo ancestors with Alexander when he crushing Persian empire.  And before that we impressed in half barbaric Macedonian army which subjating civlized Greece.  Developed democrazies think so advanced, neh?  But they always fall *hic* fascist.  Quickest way running country in ground is let people rule.  For they mostly either stupid, or selfish," accused Shampoo with an askance glance at Nabiki. 

       "Heard industrial countries growth being below replacement level, now understanding why.  Nab-chan no have kids cuz they inconvenent, neh?  And other ambitious able people have few or no kids too.  Country no last long with strong blood thinning out that way, specially when dumb people then out breeding better half.  That dysgenics inevitably destroying.  You getting dumb and dumber each year as economies needing smarter 'n smarter people.  Going be too easy for China conquer world."             

       "Hold on a minute.  Our birthrates below replacement level for the same reason as China's; it's way to damn crowded.  I don't think we're experiencing dysgenics though, there's a lot of pressure on the lower class not to breed.  So I'm afraid your not going to find a bunch of apes here if you decide to invade." 

       "Who say we needing use force?" grinned Shampoo.  "Japan may discourage dysgenics, but her trading partners 'nother matter, neh?  Not much safety net here for folks who no cutting it, but western white devils _pay_ useless foreign fleas for breed and feed upon body of their countries.  White devils dying race, soon their once strong blood being drained and her countries collapsing, leaving China for regaining glory of brightest jewel on crown of Mother Goddesses' earth!  Mwhahahahaha!"

       "If you want to sound credible instead of like a crackpot, I suggest you leave off the maniacal laughter next time."

       "Sorry, is obligatory with reveal plan for world domination.  And Shampoo just get so excited at thought of west's grisly demise and Chinese manifest destiny leading East for become seat of new world power."

       "You're quite the racist, aren't you?"

       "Racist, moi?  Shampoo about as mongrelized as an Asian gets.  Our women marry any foreign man who prove his blood the stronger.  China problem was to homogenous, no had enough variety of ideas like in Europe.  But now world opening up and we importing best of west, like market economy, and avoiding dumb delusions like egaltarianism.  It obvious fact race's different.  We in East always known that bloodline much important, but somehow west forget.  Think can make weak bloodline equal just with change environment, no matter how much decades and billions they wasting with nothing for show.  Talk 'bout fatal meme.  Thank Goddess we Chinese smarter than dumb white devils.  Really, racist just like nationalist, is virtue, not sin.  Nationalist proud of and loving nation.  Racist proud of and loving her race.  Any people losing those virtues doomed.  And why should I no be proud?  Chinese greatest race."               

       "Granted, we Northeast Asians have higher IQ's than whites, but if you Chinese are some
"master race" why are we Japanese so far ahead of your country, neh?"

       "Japs just got head start cuz mainland easier invading than island.  You able start modernizing while damn Brits oppressing us under heavy yoke.  Only recently we driving out foreign tyrants, and is now quickly catching up.  Mainland/island advantage now reversing.  Japs lost chance be great power when we drive off mainland and got ass kicking by Merikans.  Is now has-been like Brits; stuck on island, no have nuff natural resources, while China have tons.  You need trade just for sustaining self, and what happen when socialist welfare states of west collapsing under burden of growing useless class of parasites, neh?  China meanwhile growing greater and greater.  Have drove last Brits from Hong Kong."

       ""Drove?"  They willing left Shampoo, even though Hong Kong desperately wanted them to stay."

       "And have reunified Tibet with Motherland."

       "Uh, Shampoo, it's only a reunification if both parties want it.  If your soldiers have to slaughter people it's called a conquest."

       Unhearing, Shampoo continued to extol her Motherland's expansions with a  fanatical gleam in her eyes, "And in process of regaining Siberia too."

       "Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that belong to the Russians?"

       "No!  They stole from us!  We there thousands years first before murdering thieves take while we too busy with Opium War for stop them.  And now that we is strong our people pouring into north for reclaim what ours."

       "You think the Russians are just going to let you do that?"

       "Nothing they can do.  Have Moscow scared shitless.  In couple genrations we outnumber them 200 to 1 in Siberia, what they able do then?  From middle school all Chinese trained in war, they no will be able drive us out.  Even have some amazons up there for launching guerilla attacks on greedy confiscating pig cops."

       "Okay, so the demographics favor you, but why on earth would you want Siberia in the first place?  It's a frozen wasteland!" 

         "Not quite.  Parts are arable, and we much needing more food and space for all our people.  And the oil is icing on cake.  But best part is once Siberia ours, all need do is back North Korean commies bid for reunifying Korean Peninsula."

       "So?"

       "Nab-chan no see?  Shampoo thought you bright enough follow big picture if Siberia and South Korea falling." 

       Irritated, Nabiki checked the mental map inside her head, then let out an exclamation as she understood the purpose of Shampoo's plot.  "Oy…!" 

       "Now you see!" cackled Shampoo.  "We be able block Japs from coastline!  Without west for trading and us embargo east coast your poor wittle island all cut off.  Will have submit to being Province in Chinese New Pan-Asiatic Empire!  OHOHOHOHOHO!"

       "That laugh wasn't any better," groaned Nabiki.  "Anyway, I'm sure you find all your megalomaniac speculations fascinating, but I'll wait until it actually starts happening before I start to worry."

       "Wouldn't want little thing like Rome burning spoil Nab-chan have good time, neh?" said Shampoo patronizingly.  "Disgusting.  Writing clearly on wall.  Industrial democrazies doomed.  Freedom they give is freedom for being selfish and ignore duty to future of race and country.  That why greedy girl make me sick and is wrong.  Her game plan _may_ work for her happiness, but is hollow happiness; in end come to nothing and destroying her people." 

       "Is very sad.  All ancestors choose have children for carrying torch on into future, that choice giving you life, but Nab-chan will no repay that debt and betraying hopes of ancestors; fire go out for good with her.  But I not die.  Shampoo part of tribe, part of race, part of China, and especially being part of future children.  Even after I gone, as long as they having future, so do I.  And as children have children, and those children have children, on into forever, the fire of Shampoo soul keep expanding into eternity, never going out.  That how big my world is!  But greedy girl world just her, and it vanish like never existing with her.  No matter how much yen you manage make, you never coming near infinite treasures I have!  Sayonara."  With that, Shampoo whirled around and made for the restaurant door.          

       "…arrogant backwater bitch, what's she know?" muttered Nabiki as she watched Shampoo's retreating figure.  Deciding not to pay any more attention to the amazon, Nabiki looked around the rest of the restaurant.  It was pretty busy, plenty of couples on dates or gangs of friends filled the restaurant with their chatter and laughter.  Watching from the shadowy secluded corner of her favorite table, Nabiki couldn't feel any connection to it at all.  None of these people meant anything particularly important to her, and she was sure the lack of feeling was mutual.  Brrrr.  It was getting all cold again.  "Hey!  Shampoo, wait up!"

       "*ahem*," coughed Anno as Nabiki tried to leave the table.  "You were intending to pay for those drinks, weren't you?"

       "Hey!  Get your ass back here hussy!  You were supposed to cover the tip!"

*    *    *           

       Afterward…

       "That quick," said Shampoo smugly as Nabiki caught up to her.

       "*gasp*  Wipe that smirk *pant* off your face.  It's not like I got lonely or anything *pant* Just collecting that tip you owe me *pant*"

       "Oops.  Sorry, was so mad forgot Shampoo agreed pay it."

       "Yeah, I guess we both got mad enough to say some things we regret, neh?"

       "Shampoo meant everything she said."

       "… Anyway, you'll be happy to know I tipped that playboy waiter of yours.  Even a bit extra."

       "So how much I owing Nab-chan for tip?"

       "Five thousand yen," said Nabiki with a straight face.

       "Like hell," laughed Shampoo.  "Let see that receipt."

       "Ah, forget it.  I was in such a hurry I didn't get the receipt.  Just gave him a large bill and told him to keep the change.  Figured it was cheaper than losing you and having to pay taxi fare to get home."

       "Of course," said Shampoo as she rolled her eyes.

       "But if you want to make it up to me," suggested Nabiki as she draped an arm over Shampoo's shoulder, "I know this stand in a nearby park whose ice cream is just to die for."

       "*sigh* Devil girl.  You's mission corrupting Shampoo with civilization, isn't it?"

       "Of course," whispered Nabiki as she leaned in closer.  "And you know you want it baby.  Wait til you see all the flavors of chocolate they've got for you to choose from.  You'll think your in heaven."

       *sigh*  Shampoo had a feeling chocolate was going to end up like that other bad habit she'd picked up since coming here; a vice she'd be unable to prevent her self from occasionally indulging in.  With only token resistance, she allowed Nabiki to start steering her toward the dark…er… park.

       "um…those speeches you made were pretty good," admitted Nabiki awkwardly as the two of them sat down with their ice cream cones near a pond.  "You'll make a great politician and leader in your tribe.  You've got oratory down pat.  I can't stand to listen to our own politician's posturings; they're so obviously fake and manufactured, but there's a real fiery sincerity to your speech when you get going.  Not that you're not a hypocrite," Nabiki quickly added, "but that's part and parcel of being a good politician too.  You may be part of some Ubermensh race that's going to conquer the world, but your not as righteous as you try and sound, and you couldn't even conquer one man.  So much for your desire to spread your "superior" genes."

       "Ouch.  Devil girl really want let wind out Shampoo's sails, neh?"

       "Well, I'm just repaying the favor.  You need it."

       "Yeah, Shampoo real arrogant bitch, ain't she?  That what tribemates think too, probably hate me guts.  Realizing that after lost out to Akane.  For all Shampoo advantages, Ranma choosing Devil girl's ordinary sister.  Cuz in end she really is good person, and I is selfish bitch.  Guess being good is counting for something after all."

       "Ah, don't sweat it.  You'll get used to being a selfish bitch, we have a lot more fun."     

       "Gah.  How Nab-chan become such devil when having such good sisters?"

       "Now, now, Akane _is_ a good person, but you know she's sure as hell no saint.  And you might think Kasumi's perfect, but she's not.  She really harped on Akane about her tomboyishness and me on my greediness when we were growing up. Still, I suppose I owe her for cutting off my allowance to try and teach me a lesson; it forced me to find ways to make my own money.  We've had some really nasty sibling quarrels over the years, but I'm partially to blame.  I really resented her stepping into mom's role, and she could never measure up to the mother I'd enshrined in my memory.  It's not fair really, she had to take on responsibility for keeping our household afloat at far to young an age, but I was too childish to look at it objectively.  She's really mellowed since she finished high school and there's been less pressure on her."

       "Oh," said Shampoo thoughtfully, then added, "But she still is good woman, isn't she."

       "Yeah, she is," admitted Nabiki with a hint of admiration.  "Unlike us."

       "True," chuckled Shampoo.  "Here a toasting for us selfish bitches," Shampoo declared as she raised her ice cream cone.

       "To selfish bitches!" echoed Nabiki as she clunked her cone against Shampoo's.

       “KAMPAI!”                                                                      

End of Chapter 8  

To be continued in Chapter 9:

Who's ya Sensei

Ranma's determined to teach Shampoo just who's the student and who's the Sensei, and this time he's not going to hold anything back.  But Shampoo's got her own special techniques too.  It's going to be a brutal no holds barred battle to the bitter end, determining just what their new relationship to each other is.  Don't miss it!