Ranma ½ and it’s characters are the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi-sama and various other entities, none of whom happen to be me.  I’m simply using them without permission, but I promise to put them all back when I’m done, except possibly for Shampoo;)  

My other works can be found at https://www.angelfire.com/anime5/ficaleb

Feedback may be sent to caleb_david@angelfire.com

Support quality fanfic; subscribe to http://www.faniac.com

Shampoo’s Chance:  Spirit of the Law

By:  Kaleb

Chapter 9

Who’s Ya Sensei

        [Well, this sucks] sighed Ranma as he tapped his fingers against the pagoda by the koi pond…

*    *    *

Earlier that day…

       “Hey pop!  Get your lazy ass out of bed and lets spar!” called Ranma up to the window of his parents room. 

      “Oh, your fathers not here Ranma,” came his mother’s voice from the kitchen.

*    *    *

The flashbacking continues…

        “blah blah blah [insert excuse] blah blah blah [insert justification]  yadda yadda yadda beg beg…”

        “Oh for Kami’s sake,” groaned Noodka, “I’ll forgive you…”  Anything to stop his pathetic groveling.  Besides, there was nothing to be learned from his most likely extemporaneous explanation/excuses; she couldn’t trust a word of it.  Supposedly, stealing Ukyo’s dowry had been the only alternative to starvation, and had been Ranma’s decision  anyway, same as with the “training accident” which had scarred her son with a most unmanly phobia.  She doubted double checking with Ranma would clear the matter up any; he’d been vague himself to her solicitous queries earlier.  [It’s as if there scared of me for some reason] thought Noodka sadly as she removed her katana from her husband’s gi [but for the life of me I can’t figure out why].  Oh well, she didn’t really want to know the truth; at least this way she could go ahead and pretend they were being honest with her.  And it wasn’t how the mess had happened, but how they dealt with it which really mattered.

        “On one condition.  We need to provide recompense for Ukyo’s dowry.  Here’s today’s classifieds.” 

        “S-surely you don’t mean for me to get a j-j…” Genma stammered in horror.

        “Job?  If you want to show your face around here again, dear.  We can’t presume on the Tendo’s goodwill forever; it’d be a disgrace to us Saotomes to be such a burden on our most gracious hosts.  Now here’s a lunch I packed for you and a bus pass,” said Noodka with a beguiling smile as she pressed the bento and bus pass into her hesitant husband’s hands.  “Don’t let me see you until you’ve got good news.”       

        “Wait, that means I’ll have to get up early each morning,” whined Genma.

        “Uh huh.”  Nodded a smiling Noodka.

        “And… and… if I have to wait until you’ve gone to bed before coming home we can’t…”

        “Exactly.  Unless you want me to introduce you to _my_ sword, dear,” said Noodka pointedly, tapping Genma’s chest with her katana.  “So as I said, don’t wake me up unless you’ve got good news.  If that’s the case, I may even be in the mood to “celebrate”,” Noodka added with a wink. 

        “Well, I better get going!” said Genma as he, having suddenly finding his motivation,  stood erect.  “Wish me well,” and with that Genma took off.

        “See you later dear!”  Noodka called to his retreating figure as she waved her husband goodbye. 

*     *     *

        “Great, pop won’t be around for training til he finds a job,” grumbled Ranma.  “Which will be about as soon as pigs fly.  But I need someone to spar…” Suddenly Ranma’s head swiveled around, a movement in the corner of his vision having caught his attention.

          Akane, dressed in her gi instead of her usual jogging shorts, had just come downstairs.  But it wasn’t his fiance, but rather who was accompanying her, that had caught Ranma’s attention.  “Why ya little…!  I thought I already warned ya to give it up!”

        “Huh, what are you talking about Ranma?  Warned me…?  Hey!”  protested Akane as she backed up slightly from her charging fiance. 

        “Think ya could get away with sneaking back in Ryoga?  Stop sneaking around and be a man!”

        KWEEEE!  Ranma’s spinning punt sent P-chan flying out of sight.  “Moron, he’s got a girlfriend now, he’s gotta cut this crap out…”

        *THUD*  “Ranma, how dare you pick on poor little P-chan like that!” yelled Akane in outrage as she slammed Ranma’s face into the floor.  “You brute!  And stop yelling at Ryoga!  Uh, just where is he,” said Akane as she looked around for the lost boy.

        “I can’t believe someone could be so oblivious to the obvious,” muttered Ranma as he picked himself up off the floor.  “Now if I could just find someone to fill in for pop…”

        “Well, now that you mention it,” began Akane nervously, not looking directly at Ranma, “I was thinking perhaps it was time I stopped practicing just on bricks…”

        “Yeah, bricks are nothing.  You’ve certainly got the strength to move on to boulders,” said Ranma as he pulled on his squashed nose, straightening it out from his face.  “Can be real useful in a fight too; overpowered opponents like Ryoga really like tossin’ those things around.”

        “…that’s not what I meant,” said Akane with exasperation.  “I was thinking something more dense.”

        “Metal?”

        “No!  You moron!”

        “Well why the hell are you telling me about your training if ya just want to insult me and ignore my suggestions?!  Look, I don’t care what you do for training, so why don’t ya just run along now.  I’ve got my own _important_ training to figure out here,” Ranma said as he turned away from Akane and started throwing practice punches.

        “Trying to figure out how to defeat Shampoo?” suggested Akane.

        Ranma quickly whirled back around, “I already told ya yesterday; that wasn’t a real fight!  I was going easy on Shampoo and she took advantage of it.  That’s all!  I didn’t realize she could paralyze with one pressure point attack like the old ghoul, else I never woulda let any of her attacks inside my guard.  And ya can be sure I won’t let her pull any cheap tricks like that in our next fight!”

        “So just when is Shampoo coming over?” Akane asked.  “Is it true that your training her?”

        “Yeah,” shrugged Ranma.  “But I don’t know when that slacker student plans to show up next.  Nor do I care.”

        “Well, if your going to be teaching her anyway, do you think I could maybe… um, join in?”

        Ranma looked at Akane incredulously.  “Have you been paying any attention Akane?  I’m training _Shampoo_ here!  This aint no beginners class; you’d just slow things down, which is the last thing I need.”

       “So you’ll train Shampoo, but not me?” said Akane, obviously hurt.  “I’m not good enough for you?”

        “Look Akane, why the hell do you think I’m doing this in the first place?!  It’s sure as hell not because I want to be spending time with that crazy bitch.  The sooner I train her, the sooner that airhead will go back to China and be out of our way, so the last thing we need is some slow klutz holding up the class…”

        “SLOW KLUTZ?!”       

        *SMASH* *WHACK*

        “CRAZY AIRHEAD BITCH?!”

        Over Ranma’s crushed body, the two girls looked at each other in surprise. 

        “S-shampoo?  W-when did…” stuttered Akane.

        “Long nuff be glad jerk boy no longer Shampoo fiance.  That real nice hook you hitting him with,” complemented the Amazon.

        “No, I’m sure it was your jump kick that leveled him, you’ve got a lot more power than I do.”

        “No sell self short, Akane have lots power, specially when get mad.  Shampoo no would want be on receiving end of violent girl’s mallet strikes.  If polished technique, would be quite the warrior.”

        “Like that’ll ever happened,” said Akane bitterly.  “Ranma’s right, I’m to much of a klutz to ever acquire that polished grace of a real martial artist.  I’d just waste his time trying to learn it.  You two enjoy your class.”  Akane turned to leave, but was stopped by Shampoo’s hand on her shoulder.

        “Hey!  Why Akane let stupid Ranma discourage, what that idiot know?  Akane have much potential.”

        “D-do you really mean that?”

        “Course Shampoo do.  Last time we fight saw Akane have talent, just never been properly trained, neh?”

        “Well, compared to what Ranma’s father put him through, my dad’s training was nothing; I don’t think dad could go hard on me if he tried.  And of course Ranma’s never been any help; he won’t take me seriously at all,” complained Akane. 

        “No take so personal, is that Akane women; whole culture itself no take seriously.  Too bad she not born Amazon, we’d have made real warrior of her.”

        “Thanks, but I’d rather not have to speak in the third person and marry any stranger who defeated me,” joked Akane.

        “Yeah, just need marry who ever parents pick instead.  Like that any better.  At least we play part in decision by our fighting talent, and husband earn us by own merits.”

        “Sure, the merit of being able to beat you up; how unromantic can you get?”

        “Hey, at least kind of “exciting”, neh?” said Shampoo with a wink.

        “No, unless you happen to be some S&M pervert.”

        “*tsk* Well, _some_ girls so uptight ‘n proud probably only way they ever get laid is for man take matter in own hands,” said Shampoo as she shrugged her hands. 

        “You’d better be talking about your own people there,” Akane challenged as she crossed her arms.

        “heh heh, true that describing many us Amazons,” giggled Shampoo as she looked Akane over.  “You know, more I think about it more can’t help thinking Akane have made perfect Amazon.”

        “I suppose coming from you I ought to take that as a complement,” Akane remarked slyly.

        “And ordinarily wouldn’t be?” questioned Shampoo sweetly.

        “Interpret it as you like.”

        *sigh* “At least if Akane been Amazon we might not have ended up such enemies,” sighed Shampoo wistfully.  “Maybe even…  hey, Akane?  If you’s really serious bout wanting more training, Shampoo willing train with.”

        “Really?!” said Akane eagerly, then stopped and looked suspicious, “wait, just why do you want to help me anyway?”       

        “Jeesh, think I have ulterior motive for everything?” pouted the amazon.  “Maybe Shampoo just think it’d be fun.  Maybe thinking time I start trying make some friends stead of having everyone here hate Shampoo.”

        “Shampoo…” said Akane, taken aback.  Then she quickly bowed in apology.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize… I should be grateful for your generous offer to train me…  it’s not that I hate you, it’s just I have a hard time trusting you; I still can’t quite bring myself to believe that you’d really give up on Ranma.”

        “No, Shampoo should be one apologizing,” confessed the amazon as she looked at the ground.  “I’s sorry for how treated Akane, no deserve be trusted.  And you’s right, Shampoo is having ulterior motive,” admitted the amazon as she looked up smugly, “Figure will really get Ranma’s goat.”

       “Heh, I should have known you were using me for your own end,” laughed Akane, “but for once you’ve got a motive I can get behind.  If that jerk doesn’t want me to train with him then I’ll just go ahead and train with you.  That’ll show him.  So what‘s first teach?”

        “Well, Amazon warrior always have weapon she specializing in…” began Shampoo as the two girls headed toward the Dojo. 

         “And just where do you think you’re going?” growled a voice behind the girls.

        Without looking back, Shampoo replied, “Me and Akane-chan going do training.  If want, Ranma can join, but since is Amazon techniques, session being girls only group.”

        “And just when did _you_ become in charge of training?”

        “Since _we’s_ knocked you out.” giggled Shampoo. 

         “Yeah,” chimed in Akane as she looked back over her shoulder at her glaring fiance, “someone who gets beat up by his students hardly deserves to be called Sensei, wouldn’t you say Shampoo-Sensei?”

        “True, true,” nodded the amazon. 

        “Akane, you stay out of this,” warned Ranma.  “I made a promise to train Shampoo, and I’m going to fulfill it, no matter how insubordinate she gets.  But we both know Shampoo can’t be trusted to live up to her side of the bargain.  I don’t want you alone with her; training “accidents” are a perfect way to get rid of someone who’s in the way.”

        _This_ got Shampoo to acknowledge Ranma.  Turning around, she walked over and slapped him, cutting his lip.  “How dare Ranma…  All fiance wanted was spend time with you, but to much bother for selfish jerk boy show enough respect to train her!  Jerk boy have no right now say anything since wasn’t willing work with her in first place!  If Akane want train with Shampoo, that our choice; none of your business what we do together!”

        “Wrong.  She’s my fiance and you’re my student,” stated Ranma as he wiped the blood from his lip.  “It’s my duty to defend her and discipline you.”  Throwing down the gauntlet, he slapped Shampoo back.  *KA-SLAP*  “Whadda say we settle who’s the Sensei, here and now?”

        “Well, suppose fem boy can sometimes be man after all,” smirked Shampoo as she felt her bruised cheek.  “Very well, I accepting your challenge, on one condition; we spicing it up with little wager.”  Pacing backwards until she reached Akane, Shampoo placed her arm around the other girl.  “Akane being prize.”

        “H-hey!” exclaimed Akane in surprise.

        “No worry,” whispered the amazon into Akane’s ear.  “Shampoo know what doing.  Just enjoy the being fought over.  Is fun!”  Then aloud, “Whomever winning get to train Akane, deal?” challenged Shampoo, now entwining both her arms possessively around the duel’s blushing prize, who though thankful, was wishing Shampoo wouldn’t get quite so carried away with her acting calculated to annoy Ranma.

        [At lest she _better_ be acting] thought Akane nervously as Shampoo tightened her grasp to keep Akane from squirming.  Tilting Akane’s chin up, the amazon mocked Ranma,  “Well, what it going be fem boy?  Leaving fiance to Shampoo’s tender mercies?”  

        Damn, this was a lose-lose situation.  But if the only alternative to having Shampoo train Akane was to…  “Whatever, let’s get this started already.  Now get your paws off Akane!”  As soon as Shampoo complied, Akane hurried over to the sideline and Ranma went into fighting stance.  “I’ll only warn you once Shampoo, I’m not going to hold anything back today.”

        “Like that warning,” shrugged Shampoo as she took up her position about ten meters from Ranma.  “Seen Ranma at best before, not like don’t know what to expect.  Let me give Ranma _real_ warning.  Haven’t seen _me_ at all out best.”  As Shampoo slipped into her battle stance, the air began to positively crackle with her angry battle aura.  Akane couldn’t help but tremble as she felt the ripples of that energy ominously wash over her.  [Be careful Ranma]. 

        “Know why?” asked Shampoo.  “Is simple.  Same reason I never show Ranma how smart I really is.  Stupid men like think they better than women, so smart women let men go on thinking that.  But now we no longer engaged, time I show Ranma my real power as Amazon Champion.”

        “Bah.  Talk is cheap.  And you know someone’s in for an ass whuppin’ after uttering that cheesy  “Time to show you my true power” cliche.  I wouldn’t want this fight to be too easy anyway.  Let’s do it!”  And with that Ranma charged at Shampoo…

To be continued…

In Chapter 10

Who’s ya Sensei Showdown

Hmmm, the lead in turned out long enough to be a chapter in it’s own right, so I decided to just divide this part of the story into two chapters.  I promise the big Ranma vs. Shampoo showdown, with Akane as the prize, is next.  Don’t miss it!