Soujirou fidgeted in his seat as his eyes focused solely on the door before him. The inn was lit softly with candles and he'd even left his yukata open slightly, hoping to look seductive as he waited...and waited...and waited...

             The butterflies in his stomach flew around even more intensely as the seconds ticked by. He and Aoshi had been wandering together for almost a month now, staying in rooms together to keep costs down. Inevitably feelings surfaced, and....and...

             However, when it came down to roaming hands Soujirou stopped Aoshi, saying shakily that he wasn't ready for such a thing.

             "Fine then," Aoshi had whispered huskily against his ear, sending shivers over the young man's body. "I'll wait."

             Since then Soujirou had done a lot of thinking. What was Aoshi to him?

             'Well...he's attractive...I think,' he thought to himself. He'd never really had such feelings for someone and he was unsure as to how to read them. 'He's kind and polite. He doesn't speak much but when he does every word sounds wonderful. He's very intelligent and he treats me with respect, not fear. I don't want to be feared anymore.'

             The question remained, however, if Soujirou was really ready for this, not if he wanted it or not. He was 19 years old now; it was about time he began making his own life decisions. Had he really become that dependant on Shishio guidance?

             "No," he assured himself, holding his head a little higher as he lay on the futon. As if Soujirou’s decision was his cue to come on stage, Aoshi's footsteps could be heard outside the door to their small inn room.

               Soujirou gave the room one last check over, making sure everything was in place before watching the door slide open slowly.

             Aoshi certainly wasn't expecting what he found. Soujirou had apparently set up the room for something special tonight, and by the way he was dress and looking at him, he could pretty much guess what.

             Timidly Soujirou stood, letting his yukata slip off a little further as he sauntered over to Aoshi's frozen form. "You don't like it?"

             "You did this?" the ex-Okashira asked, missing the question entirely. Soujirou nodded, fear running through his eyes that reflected the light from the many candles adorning the room. Aoshi finally looked down at him, taking in his appearance, which was an enticing mix of cute and sensual; something Soujirou had always been able to pull off so naturally. Without shifting his green eyes from the younger man's blue ones, he slid out of his jacket, uncharacteristically letting it drop to the floor. It seemed the minute that the jacket hit the floor a new Aoshi Shinomori was born. His normally placid expression was now a feral smirk and narrowed lust-filled eyes that made Soujirou shiver with just the anticipation of things to come.

             With speed that almost rivaled the boy's, Aoshi closed the gap between them, clutching Soujirou possessively to his firm body. Forcefully he pushed his seeking tongue into that warm, timidly inviting mouth below him. In some aspect, Aoshi could taste the boy's sweet innocence and it was a wonderful rush.

             As much as he hated to do so, Soujirou pulled away, still visibly shaking from nerves, and began shakily sliding off Aoshi's shirt. When the offending garment was left on the floor with the coat, Soujirou sighed and wrapped his arms around the taller man's thin waist. "Aoshi...do you...want me?"

             After waiting for a few moments of thinking Aoshi decided on his answer. Leaning down, he captured one of the boy's earlobes in his mouth and sucked on it gently, making him gasp and clutch at the man's back as a form of stability in a whirlwind of sensations. "Of course I do," he finally answered verbally, his hot breath prickling in his young lover's ear like burning ice. Turning himself so his back was to the futon, Aoshi began pulling Soujirou toward the candlelit area, slipping his callused hands under the boy's lose yukata, caressing his chest with uncharacteristic gentleness for the once feared leader of the Oniwabanshu.

             "Wait. Stop," Soujirou spoke up when Aoshi began to lie on top of him. The taller man froze, sitting back on his heels and looking down at his ebony-haired lover with confusion. Soujirou stood himself up and took a deep breath, turning away in embarrassment. "I...you...you've always done everything for me. You...you gave me a room when I was cold and food when I was hungry and had not a coin to my name. Even if it's for a little while, I want to give something back to you." After getting that out Soujirou felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders. With the speed he was known for, he tackled Aoshi to the futon, not giving the man a moment to resist or speak up before he began, kissing him roughly and passionately, running eager hands across a heavily scarred chest with innocent ignorance and jittery anticipation.

             Aoshi's eyes, which had initially been wide open in shock (an expression rarely seen in those green depths) slid closed as his hands settled for massaging the back of Soujirou's neck as he enthusiastically kissed back. If he wanted to do this, the ex-Okashira wasn't going to stop him.

             Again, Soujirou was the one to break the kiss, trailing his swollen lips down to Aoshi’s earlobe as the taller man had done before. When a soft moan was heard he placed a little more effort into the action, tracing his tongue along the sensitive area behind it. Aoshi entwined his long fingers in soft, black hair as he felt the dual sensations of the boy's tongue as well as the soft skin of his slightly exposed chest against his own. Truthfully, he didn't know how long he'd allow Soujirou to continue at this slow pace.

             Without noticing, Soujirou lowered his hips, biting down on the soft neck before him in surprise at the unknown sensation that rippled through his body. However, with his regained composure, Aoshi only released a hitched breath and brought his hands to the boy's shoulders, finally sliding the top of the loose yukata down to reveal the thin, pale chest, unmarred by wounds or scars. So warm, so soft, so perfect...

             Finally feeling more excited then frightened; Soujirou ventured his lips downward, tracing the sensitive scars on Aoshi's chest with an eager tongue. The older man reflexively raised his hips, grinding his ever-present need against the stomach above it. Soujirou brought his hands down to stroke the erection through the dark pants, loving the uncontrollable sounds he ushered out of his lover's throat, feeling the vibration of the moans through his lips.

             And finally Aoshi could take no more. With a low grunt the older man flipped his younger counterpart onto his back, attacking his lips with carnal ferocity as his hands dropped to the boy's knotted obi. Soujirou felt unbearably hot even though his body was being exposed to the cool, night air. Reflexively he curled up into a ball, trying to hide some bit of his nudity from the piercing gaze above him. Smiling slightly to himself, Aoshi wrapped his arms around his shy lover, bringing himself back into a sitting position and pulling the boy up possessively to his chest. "I'll stop," he whispered, stroking the boy's hair gently with loving caresses. "I don't want to you to think you have to do this just to make me happy," he added, kissing Soujirou's cheek lightly.

             "No... I...I do want this. I.... I just don't see why you'd want me. I'm an ugly, horrible person who’s done so much wrong. But you. You're so perfect. You had people to care about who cared about you. I've been nothing but something to be used my whole life. I'm nothing like you..."

             "Aoshi?"

             "Hmm?"

            "Can you...ah…heh, heh...go back to...um...ah...?" the boy flushed furiously from the mere thought of his request.

             The ex-Okashira smirked to himself and looked around the room. Of course, Soujirou had many of the effect aspects down but he technically lacked what they'd need for the act itself. Obviously Soujirou was a virgin (though he was a whack-job, Shishio didn't seem like the screw-your-lackeys type, let alone screw-your-child-lackey) but he had underestimated the sheer innocence the boy truly possessed. So all this time he was saying that he wanted this from Aoshi, to share this with him, he didn't even know what he was agreeing to? The man's heart tensed again at that realization. So Soujirou trusted him THIS much?

             "Why?" Soujirou asked, taking the hand by the wrist in both hands as he did as he was told.

             With a few shaky breaths it seemed that Soujirou was calm again and a second digit was added. Aoshi felt short fingernails dig into his shoulders as the third was added and the trio began to move, stretching the muscles there for an even bigger invasion.  With the control of a saint Aoshi continued his ministrations, desperately trying to ignore the hot breath panting in his ear, the perfect, porcelain-like body before him, writhing on his ever-aching need.

             "Am I hurting you?" a gentle voice asked as the fingers stilled. If Soujirou couldn't handle this, then they should stop then before all hope of it was lost. 

             "Aoshi, I know. Don't worry, I don't think anything can hurt me as long as it's you."

             'I don't deserve this,' his mind told him as he reached down to part the boy's strong legs and settled between them. He bent over and marked those legs with soft kisses as he brought one up to each shoulder.

             Finally the realization of what was going to happen struck Soujirou and he blushed a deep crimson. However, the idea of actually being joined with this amazing man was so frightening and exciting he could feel his stomach knot itself a million times over. Placing his hand palm down on one side of the boy's head, Aoshi leaned in for another blissful kiss before guiding just his tip into the tight, puckered entrance before it. He watched as Soujirou's eyes instantly squeezed shut and immediately stopped. When those blue eyes opened to look up at him pleadingly he nodded and pushed in further, stopping again even though it pulled at the last thin thread of his control. He was breathing heavily while his throbbing member was sheathed in something so hot and tight and wondrous that he didn't even imagine the sensations it brought him could exist.

             Soujirou was completely lost in a vortex of contradicting feelings of pleasure and pain. If what Aoshi said was right, and the pain would go away, then he wanted nothing more than to be completely filled, no matter how badly it would hurt for the moment. "Aoshi, please," he whispered against the man's lips. "Take me now. I won't break, I want you to have all of me..."

             Snap.

             Crash.

             His voice was spent and his body was consumed by a pleasure he couldn't even begin to comprehend. Soujirou's climax was joined with a soft whimper as his body arched away from the futon, spraying his seed over his and Aoshi's bodies as every bit of him tightened and singed like fiery heaven. He could feel it inside him, Aoshi finding his release as well. Soon, seemingly boneless bodies were in a sweaty tangle of limbs as each of them attempted to catch his breath. 

             A few minutes past before the sound of rapid breathing finally ceased and the room was left in still silence. Finally, Aoshi slowly pulled himself out and sat up, brushing his sweat-soaked hair back away from his eyes. Soujirou was staring off to his right at absolutely nothing, a completely unreadable expression on his face.

             "Soujirou?"

             "Hmm?" the boy replied, not looking at him or changing his tone.

             "Are you alright?"

             A long pause that was followed by a small nod.

             "You regret it don't you?" Aoshi more stated than asked, not outwardly showing what those words did to him.

             Soujirou immediately snapped out of his trance. "Oh no, no. NO!" he argued, trying to sit up before wincing in pain.

             "I hurt you," Aoshi pointed out, reaching down to stroke the boy's cheek with his thumb.

             "No, you healed me."

             "What?"

             Soujirou lifted one arm to hold the hand caressing his cheek. "You know everything about who I was and what I've done and you still were willing to love me. I was just thinking about that, I would never regret being so close to you."

             Aoshi smiled just the tiniest of smiles, a great accomplishment considering his always-present stoic demeanor the rest of the time, and used the blanket to wipe them off. The night was warm and the only heat they needed existed in their embrace as they slept.