Chapter 36: Pushit

Saw that gap again today, while you were beggin' me to stay… take care not to make me enter, if I do, we both may disappear. You still love me, pushit on me. Slipping back into the gap again. I'm alive when you're touching me, alive when you're shoving me down. But I'd trade it all for just a little piece of mind. Keep my feet back on the ground! Put me somewhere I don't wanna be. Seeing someplace I don't wanna see. Never wanna see that place again. Saw that gap again today while you were begging me to stay. Managed to push myself away, and you, as well, my dear. If, when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay, you minimize my movement anyway, I must persuade you another way. There's no love in fear! Staring down the hole again. Hands are on my back again. Survival is my only friend. Terrified of what may come. Remember I will always love you, as I claw your f*@%ing throat away. It will end no other way. (Tool, ‘Pushit’) [Though I must admit, I took a lot out of the lyrics—it would’ve been way too long…]

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Kagome felt her heart swell with anxiety as she felt her hair rise in the winds. Kagura had been carrying her for nearly an hour that seemed like an eternity. Just as she caught herself wondering what Kikyo’s hand in taking care of Sesshoumaru was, Kagura cleared her throat and pointed to the ground below. "Do you notice Kikyo’s barrier?"

Kagome drew in a sharp breath, shocked as she saw the barrier. How could she not see it? The barrier that Kikyo had erected was black and brimming with dark energy. Fear and realization washed over Kagome’s heart, leaving an icy pain that wouldn’t go away. What had happened to Sesshoumaru to cause such a reaction in Kikyo’s barrier?

Kagura needed no answer when she glanced back at Kagome. The girl seemed in an utter state of shock. Whatever it was that miko were able to see that yokai were not, apparently it was something that Kagura was glad she couldn’t see. With slight hesitation, Kagura landed exactly where she previously when she had spoken with Kikyo. Kikyo stood waiting, watching for Kagome’s reaction.

Kagome found herself unusually calm as she approached Kikyo. Her voice did not waver as she asked, "Where is he?"

Kikyo began to answer, but stopped as the rest of the group of concerned friends arrived. Kikyo had known that Kagura would have left without being told, but Inu Yasha, Kouga, and the strange hanyou girl could not stay. Not until Kagome had fixed at least part of the situation. Kikyo stepped forward, shaking her head. "They cannot be so close. This type of energy… it will consume whatever jyaki it can take and mold the nature of the being that holds the said energy into something monstrous. You will have to go, at least until Kagome has cleared this black energy away."

Sayaka shook her head indignantly as she stepped forward, throwing a challenging glare to Kikyo. "I didn’t come all this way to be told that I can’t help Kagome-chan when she needs our help."

Kikyo grimaced at the girl and then frowned as she saw Inu Yasha grab the hanyou girl’s hand. She had known that she had lost her chance to be with Inu Yasha because he had claimed to love Kagome, but after she learned of Kagome’s involvement with Sesshoumaru, she had nearly hoped that she would be able to win Inu Yasha back once more. "And just who are you, to question my knowledge of this situation?"

Sayaka released Inu Yasha’s hand as she stepped nearer yet, now only a precious few feet away from Kikyo. "I am Sayaka. I, frankly, don’t give a damn about your ‘spiritual awareness’."

Kagome shook her head and placed her hand on Sayaka’s shoulder. "I appreciate the gesture, Sayaka-chan. However, I don’t want to endanger you, Inu Yasha, Kouga, or Kagura. I want you all to go and be at a safe distance from here. I’ll be okay, don’t worry."

Sayaka felt a chill run down her spine. Hearing Kagome speak so calmly, so monotonously, scared Sayaka more than the prospect of having her soul taken over by whatever evil energy lay within the barrier. She bowed her head and took several steps back. "Gomen ne, Kagome-chan. I just… I just wanted to help you."

"It’s okay, I’ll be able to handle it from here. You all go on, now." Kagome smiled back at her friends, though the emptiness of her expression seemed bone-chilling.

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Sesshoumaru strained to hear his surroundings. Earlier, he had heard Kohaku tell him that this was the third day of his sickness. However, he had begun to wonder if that was a mere figment of his imagination. More and more, when he would sleep and dream, he found himself in another world, yet seemingly the same. He would be plunged into a world of darkness, only able to see himself on the bed, yet there was a barrier keeping him from his body. But, were these dreams merely feverish hallucinations? After all, it wasn’t unusual to have bizarre visions when one was experiencing near-death illness. However, this particular illness seemed much more different from any simple fever-accompanied sickness that Sesshoumaru had experienced before.

"Sesshou-kun… I’m so sorry…"

Kagome? Was Kagome here now? Her voice seemed so distant that it couldn’t have been real. But, when Sesshoumaru felt someone lift his hand, he knew at once that Kagome had to be at his side. He cursed his inability to see or speak with her as he felt her hold his hand to her cheek. Only moments later, he felt her warm tears roll from her cheeks and over his hand. He now began to understand, or at least he believed he understood, Naraku’s words to him. True pain. Not being able to comfort the woman he loved. He wasn’t able to reach out and sooth her. Now, he could only bear to endure the sounds of her sobbing and the soft touch of her skin.

Seconds later, he was plunged into the cold darkness of complete unconsciousness. This time though, he could see Kagome sitting next to him. Once more, he tried to approach, as he had tried many times before in these such dreams. This time, as per the usual that Sesshoumaru had learned, he was unable to return to his body. Seeing Kagome so miserable tore at his heart, as he knew he was unable to quell her pain.

"Sesshou-kun, please, please, don’t leave me…"

Oh, how he wanted to tell her that he was right there, next to her. He reached his hand out, though he could move it no closer to her. "Kagome…"

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Kagome startled, as she was sure that she had heard Sesshoumaru call out to her, though she knew that she had not seen his mouth move at all. She sat back for a moment and dried her tears. [I can’t help him as long as I’m sitting here crying. What is it that is causing him to be ill?]

Kagome stood and concentrated her spiritual energy for a moment. It did not take long for her to notice that Sesshoumaru had something in him that shouldn’t have been there—a corrupted Shikon shard had been planted into his abdomen. Immediately, her memory reminded her of the attack that they had received from Naraku’s puppet, the copy of the thrice be-damned hanyou, that it had stabbed Sesshoumaru in such a place. Perhaps it was not poison that had been the cause of Sesshoumaru’s ailment, rather some type of curse that had been placed over the shard. "A cursed jewel shard…"

Kagome hurriedly pulled the covers off of Sesshoumaru’s body and looked for the place where the shard could have entered his body. As she found the place, Kagome mentally cursed herself for not having noticed the shard before. She placed her hand on his skin, hoping that she could draw the shard out—apparently, this wasn’t going to be so easy. Frustrated, Kagome reached for the small dagger that Kikyo had handed to her before she entered the barrier. Initially, Kagome insisted that she would need no such thing, but as she held the blade in her hand, she realized that she may indeed need to use it.

As Kagome held the blade over Sesshoumaru, she felt a pang of guilt. How could she, how dare she just cut into him? No, she told herself, this was to save his life, his very soul, she could not question herself at a time such as this. She momentarily placed her hand on the bow that he had carved for her. "Sesshou-kun… please forgive me…"

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That was it! Sesshoumaru realized immediately as he saw Kagome’s hand on the bow. He knelt down and placed his own hand on the bow. Since he had carved the staff from a limb from his mother’s tree, he was able to open a channel of sorts, through which he would be able to communicate with Kagome through. "It’s okay, Kagome…"

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Kagome startled once more as she knew she had heard Sesshoumaru’s voice that time. She cautiously turned, looking around, expecting to see him standing behind her. For a brief moment, she thought that she had seen him, though she quickly realized that her eyes had deceived her. She turned and continued, though feeling somewhat relieved now that she knew that somewhere nearby, Sesshoumaru’s spirit was present.

With regained confidence, Kagome pressed the dagger’s blade into Sesshoumaru’s abdomen, mindful to stay within the confines of his old wound. As she withdrew the blade from his flesh, so came the corrupted jewel fragment. She held the shard on the tip of the dagger for a moment, considering that this particular fragment must have been Naraku’s most precious, seeing as he favored the darkness adorning the jewel. Slowly, Kagome reached for the shard and, with slight concentration, she was able to purify the shard. With a little more concentration, she fused this final shard into the rest of the jewel, thus completing the Shikon no Tama.

Suddenly, Kikyo’s final words of advise came ringing back to her. ‘The dark energy in this barrier is fighting to find a host to overtake. That is why Inu Yasha and the others cannot follow you in just yet. Until the dark energy has manifested and been eliminated, anyone with youki will be in danger of being possessed.’ Now that Kagome had finally taken the shard from Sesshoumaru’s side, he would return to normal, youki and all. He would be the one to be possessed.

Sesshoumaru, for a brief moment, was able to open his own eyes. He sat upright and smiled at Kagome, unaware of what was about to transpire. "Kagome… I—"

In the blink of an eye, his mind lost control of his body once more. Kagome gasped as she saw all of the dark energy rush towards Sesshoumaru. She threw her body over his, praying that she could prevent the energy from taking Sesshoumaru from her.

She sighed relief when she felt him place his hand on her back. "Sesshou-kun… I’m so glad…"

Before she knew what was happening, he had thrown her against a wall. Knowing that she had failed to prevent the dark energy from manifesting within Sesshoumaru, she scrambled to reach her bow. A chill ran down her spine as she looked up into Sesshoumaru’s eyes, red and lifeless rather than their usual golden. Feeling that doing such would be her only means of protection, Kagome held the bow in front of herself, as a shield.

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Inu Yasha paced impatiently. He did not possess the spiritual powers that Kikyo and Miroku did in order to see what was happening, but he could sense the change in energy that was occurring within the barrier. Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong.

Kagura watched the barrier intently, as though if she stared at it long enough, she would be able to see what was happening within. She knew that something was wrong. After all, Inu Yasha had been pacing for several minutes now, Kikyo was now refusing to speak, and Miroku refused to look away from the barrier. Kouga was now acting sensibly and, after being lectured by Sango, he had apologized to Kagura for his previous attack.

Sayaka reached out and grabbed Inu Yasha’s arm as he passed her for what had to have been the eightieth time. "Inu-chan… please… stop it."

Inu Yasha’s eyes softened as he looked down into Sayaka’s worried gaze. He realized now that his worrying over Kagome was not exactly kind to Sayaka. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders in a tight embrace. "I’m sorry, Sayaka-chan… I didn’t mean to worry you so."

Kikyo glared at the two as they began whispering sweet nothings to one another. How dare he tell her that he loved Kagome only to fall for this Sayaka? Though, Kikyo thought bitterly, they did seem to deserve one another.

Kagura withdrew her fan from her pocket, making sure to be completely inconspicuous as she did so. With the snap of her wrist, she had opened the fan and was poised to attack. She held her breath and just as she heard movement behind herself, she spun around, ready to attack. She gasped in surprise as she saw who had snuck up behind her.

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Kagome jumped backwards out of the old hut, dodging yet another of Sesshoumaru’s attacks. Tears began to well in Kagome’s eyes as she continued avoiding Sesshoumaru’s claws. "Sesshou-kun, please, you have to fight this…"

Sesshoumaru continued with his attacks, his soulless body ignoring Kagome’s pleas. Aside from his ability to control his body, the only thing that he was without was his speed. If he had his speed combined with his other powers, Kagome would never have had even a snowball’s chance in hell to fight him.

Sesshoumaru watched himself in horror as his now possessed body unleashed attack after attack on Kagome. So far, she had managed to dodge most of them, but he could tell that she was becoming tired. It was only a matter of minutes before a fatal attack would actually find its target.

As though cued by the director of a cheesy horror film, Kagome tripped while running to get out of Sesshoumaru’s path. She turned around, just in time to see Sesshoumaru behind her. Before she was able to dodge him, Sesshoumaru reached down and picked Kagome up by her throat. For a brief moment, he held her, his hand shaking, as though he was fighting himself to drop her.

[His eyes… His soul is fighting for control once more… If I say something, perhaps then he’ll be better able to push aside the evil that has overtaken his soul.] Kagome winced as she felt one of his claws cut into her skin. "Sesshou-kun… please, you have to fight to control yourself… Remember, when you stopped Inu Yasha when he lost control? I know that you can hear me… you’re in there somewhere, I know it… … I love you, Sesshoumaru, don’t ever forget that. I’m not mad at you, this isn’t your fault."

Sesshoumaru’s eyes flashed back to golden for a split second but then returned to the lifeless red that spoke death to anyone that fell under his gaze. He tightened his grip, driven by the intoxicating scent of blood. Just as he was about to completely sever Kagome’s neck, he heard the sound of an object slicing through the air, towards himself. Instinctively, he dropped Kagome and prepared to defend against his new enemy.

Sango caught her breath almost as soon as she caught her Hiraikotsu. She glanced back to see that Miroku, Kikyo, and Kanna, Naraku’s remaining incarnation, were shortly behind her. [I can only hope that Kagura’s strategy will work…]

Sesshoumaru let out a feral growl as he saw that instead of one enemy, he now had four. He began to rush at the group just as the smallest of the four, Kanna, stepped forward. He was unable to resist looking down into the girl’s mirror and so immediately all of the energy that had possessed him, as well as his soul, was sucked into the girl’s mirror. His body fell to the ground, now without any force to guide it.

Miroku gasped in surprise as he saw Kagome’s body several yards away from where Sesshoumaru had fell. He motioned for Sango to follow him as he ran to Kagome, lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood. "I can only hope that we were not too late…"

Kikyo concentrated her spiritual energy into a single arrow as she aimed for Kanna’s mirror. Kagura had explained of a time when Kanna had collected souls into the mirror and Kagome had forced them out by shooting one of her arrows into the mirror. Kagura’s theory was that if Kanna trapped the make-shift soul that had taken over Sesshoumaru and Sesshoumaru’s own soul within the mirror, when Kikyo shot into the mirror, the dark energy would be purified and Sesshoumaru’s soul would return to his body.

Kikyo gritted her teeth as she released the arrow. True to her aim, Kikyo’s arrow flew directly into the mirror, causing the mirror to glow with the purified energy. She watched in wonderment as the small girl held out the mirror, releasing a single soul. The soul was immediately drawn to its original body.

Sesshoumaru finally felt that he had regained total control of his body. [But at what price? I… Kagome…] For all the time that he had spent trying to move his body, now he could not motivate himself to even open his eyes. He tried to hold his breath, so that he would not smell Kagome’s blood, but he was unable to avoid it. His claws were soaked in the girl’s blood. He had done the unthinkable.

‘This isn’t your fault.’ Sesshoumaru shook his head as he reluctantly sat upright. [Kagome… if only I had been stronger for you. It is my fault… it was my fault for being weak.]

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A.N. Well… that was… exhilarating. Sorry, but I have to leave you all at another cliff-hangar. I hope that everybody liked the dark little tune I left at the start of the chapter. I thought that it fit really well considering all that happened during this chapter. [Yea, Tool!!!]

^_^ … (sweatdrop) I see… All I’ve got to say is that I’m evil but I’m not all that evil.

Anyhow, for anyone wondering… I didn’t get in at Suncoast, so I can kiss that thirty percent discount goodbye. The first day of my senior year is looming, August 23rd, to be exact. So, I guess it works out that I didn’t get the job because I wouldn’t have had time to be studious, write for all of you fine folks, and go to work all of the time. (Though I would have loved the extra income… it really helps for buying the Inu Yasha accessories that would have accompanied the Kirara plushy that guards over my computer monitor…)

…. Anyway, read and review and don’t threaten to kill your favorite authoress! ^_~ (She’s chained to her computer anyways.)

Ja ne,

Ryoko Yuy / V Shape Otaku