Uh oh... my first attempt to write a songfic - and also to write my other favourite pairing. I hope this will work. ^^'

Warning: S-ai, sappiness and I would say OOC-Schu.

Disclaimer: No, those bishies don't belong to me... wouldn't have thought, ne? ^.~ And neither do the lyrics. The song 'Uninspired' is written and performed by the band 'Eight stops Seven'.

UNINSPIRED - by Pandora.81

*****
Took a drive up the coast for the first time
Where the cities are few and far between.
Found redemption the street sings bearing my name
And direction the last thing on my mind.


The breeze was brushing through his golden locks like icy, clammy fingers. Autumn had finally arrived and brought with it stormy winds and misty clouds. He had never been at the coast during this season. Actually he had never been in that particular part of the country during any season and that was exactly why he had chosen this route. Towns that he hadn't seen before and roads that were totally unknown to him. Absolute anonymity.

Yohji sighed as he left another sleepy village. How many had he already passed? He didn't know, nor where he was heading anyway. Mindlessly he continued his aimless drive, not realizing that he was getting nearer and nearer to the coast.

The blond blinked with astonishment when he saw the road ending in front of him. He brusquely stopped and got out of his car to scan his surroundings. Behind him was the edge of a forest and the salty wind carried some auburn leaves in his direction. Yohji turned around to gaze at the setting sun which was slowly sinking towards the horizon. The fiery orb seemed to cover the restless ocean with a golden sheet. He took some steps towards the border of the steep coast and the roar of the waves, which were crashing against the cliff deep below his feet, was getting even louder.

The jade eyes closed and slender fingers nestled for the packet of cigarettes that the blond carried somewhere in his jacket. Finally finding it, Yohji lit one between his lips and took a deep drag, his eyes still closed. How had it come that he was here, alone on a deserted rest stop? His thoughts wandered back to the morning when he had woken up upset and bemused by a dream that had conjured up this feeling of restiveness deep within him. What had been different this time? Why did this dream occupy his mind that much that he had left the Koneko without even dropping his teammates a hint of his departure?


Cuz I fell once again for believing
And in faith I began to drive.
I left my home to search for a feeling that I'd lost, that must have died,
I must have died.


/ flashback /

Yohji looked at his trembling hands. Crimson blood ran down in small rivers and seemed to letter them with mysterious signs.

The blond raised his look to gaze at a figure at the horizon. A female form which approached him steadily, sometimes clearly seen, sometimes flaring like an illusion. The silhouette's walk didn't seem to be human either, it tumbled and staggered, the shadow even vanished from time to time just to reappear a few meters nearer to him.

Yohji wanted to stand and run away but didn't even manage to move a limb. He just stared at the figure which was approaching him, getting nearer step by step. He wasn't able to see the features of the form since it had bent its head and silky hair was covering the face but he didn't have to see it anyway. This image had been haunting him for such a long time that he exactly knew who it was.

Yohji's body tensed as the silhouette finally reached him and stood absolutely motionless for a few seconds. Seconds that seemed to enlarge to hours.

The figure jitter slightly and a hoarse stertorousness could be heard, then it fell down to its knees just on the opposite of the wide-eyed man. Yohji tried to tear his eyes away but still wasn't able to move. He watched in horror as the form in front of him unhastily lifted its head. Unnatural white lips could be seen and the shimmery hair fell away from the pale face. Closed eyes snapped open and the assassin winced and gasped at the sight of the white, acorea eyes. A small red line appeared at the under lid like it had been painted there. The luminous colour became more and more intensive until finally two crimson tears ran down the cavernous cheeks. The trembling mouth opened and a gasp escaped the marmoreal lips.

The blond groaned and begun to shiver uncontrollably while watching how blood begun to pour out of the faintly opened mouth and stained the white skin sanguineous.

Asuka flinched then slowly fell towards him.

The spell that had paralyzed the assassin drifted away and he raised his arms to catch the young woman. The fragile form glimmered again and slumped down against him but had disappeared into thin air by the second they should have touched.

Yohji chortled out a dry moan and gazed down at his bloodied clothes. Lurching he raised to his feet and stared at his trembling hands again... then he screamed.

Tearless sobs shook his whole body and he slung his trembling arms around himself. "I'm sorry, Asuka... I'm so sorry..." He didn't know how long he had stood there, caught in his pain, as suddenly a pair of foreign arms sneaked their way around his waist and pulled him backwards into a tight embrace.

Yohji closed his eyes and leaned into the other body, not wanting to think about who hugged him, just intended to relish the comforting warmth the other was offering him. He felt that a head was rested on his shoulder, cuddling the face against the curve of his throat. Tender fingers touched his owns and gently stroke the still shivering hands.

The blond slightly opened his eyes, still not looking at the one who spent him comfort. He just wanted to savor this feeling a little bit longer. The presence behind him felt somehow familiar, attracting and unsettling at the same time and deep within him a silent voice whispered that he was better off not to know who was comforting him. Yohji leaned a little bit closer against the muscular chest and turned his head to nestle his face against the other's smooth skin. Through his half-closed eyes he could just catch a flash of fiery hair... before he woke up.

Yohji sat upright abruptly and raised a hand to his head. What had that been? He knew this hair colour, and he also knew that he had recognized the presence that had wrapped itself around him even if he had wanted to disavow it while dreaming. He still pondered how the hell it had come to this. Why had he dreamt of Schuldig of all people?

Well, this question could be answered easily. Likely the rioting telepath had just invaded his dream to play with him. It would look so much like him. No, the much more interesting, and disturbing, question was: Why had it felt so good to be embraced by him? The blond rubbed his eyes and suddenly got the feeling that he had to leave this bed, this room and even this house. He couldn't explain it himself but he felt the pushing urge to flee from this, from his life, only for a few hours at least.

Yohji stood up, strolled over to his wardrobe and grabbed some random clothes. After having dressed, he crept out of his room and glanced at his watch. 6.50. His teammates wouldn't be up yet. He left the house through the flower-shop, walked to his car and got in. Where he wanted to drive to, he didn't know. All he was aware of was the urging feeling to get away from here. Something was leading him through the streets and out of the city, alluring him to take roads of which he didn't know where they're leading to but he didn't mind right then and there. He just felt a calling guiding him into a search for a feeling that he thought he had lost a long time ago. Something that seemed to have awakened with him this morning, conjured up the night before, and made him feel troubled like never before.

/ end flashback /


I've been feeling uninspired
Battered and... broken tired
Cuz there's many things I've never learned or even decided...
What I'm ready to serve.


Yohji took another drag of the cigarette then let it fall down on the ground half-smoked. With an inordinated movement he stamped out the ember then ran his hand over his face and sighed.

What the hell was happening to him?

He tried to listen deep into him in attempt to find an answer to his unasked question but just found confusion. The blond closed his eyes and tried to remember his fights against Schwarz and especially against a certain fiery-haired telepath. He tried to remember what he had felt.

Hate? Rage? Fury?

His mind seemed to have gotten numb since he couldn't grasp a single feeling from back then. The only memory that forced its way through his troubled thoughts again and again was of how those strong arms had felt around him. The sensation of the other's arms had really been comforting and had touched something deep within him. Something of what he had been sure that it had died together with a young woman long years ago.

A frown overshadowed his face as he tried to calm down his racing heart, but failed miserably. He clenched his teeth and silently scolded himself. "Damn, Kudou... he's Schwarz, he's your enemy. Furthermore he will just laugh straight into your face when he finds out what fucking thoughts are running through your dumb mind." His hands tightened to fists and he desperately tried to ignore how his heart cramped at the imagination of Schuldig mocking him. He knew he shouldn't mind. It shouldn't bother him what his enemy thought about him, but in fact it did and there seemed to be no way to get rid of the nuisance that was his affection.

Yohji buried his face in one of his hands and was strained trying to ponder about a way to solve this problem when he suddenly felt it again. His first, startled thought was that he was fantasizing, that he had started daydreaming.

That just couldn't be possible.

Green eyes opened and he glanced down at a pair of arms that were slung around his waist. He felt the other closing in, strengthening the grip to a tight embrace and resting his head on his shoulder. Cool wind swirled around them and waved a lock of long, flame-coloured hair into his sight. The blond tensed, he opened his mouth to say something but his throat felt awfully dry.

"Why?" He finally managed to whisper. "Why are you here?"

"Because you called me."

The simple statement expressed in that calm, serious voice awakened a tingling tension within him, it also made him wonder though. Yohji freed of the others grip and turned around to lock eyes with the German. Schuldig's face showed an unfamiliar smile, which made the blond narrow his eyes slightly. He searched for a trade of ridicule in the telepath's blue-green orbs but was confronted with a kind expression he didn't want to think about, too much afraid that it was just a fake. Yohji broke his gaze away from his enemy and tried to ignore the anxiety these eyes were causing somewhere within him. He had to bring his mind back on logical terms. "I called you?"

Schuldig tilted his head, still smiling at the other man. "Yes, you did." His eyes sparkled and for once it wasn't mischief that lit them up.

The blond frowned again. "I didn't. I wouldn't even know how."

"Your dream. It had been your dream." The redhead's calm voice replied.

Again Yohji felt an immense pressure in his chest. So he had been right after all, the telepath had invaded his dream. He slightly turned his head to stare at the ground and tried to fight back the grief that was threatening to overwhelm him.

What had he expected after all? It was Schuldig who he dealt with here. Had he really considered the warmth and affection that he had believed to recognize in the other's eyes to be honest? This certainly was just a nice pastime for Mastermind.

Yohji startled faintly as he saw a movement out of the corner of his eyes. Once again those gentle arms were wound around him and pulled him into an embrace. The Weiss assassin stiffened when he felt the German's tender lips on his ear and heard the hushed words.

"No, you didn't understand me right. I didn't invade your dream." Schuldig leaned in a little bit more. "It was you who called me. You pulled me into your dream."

Yohji was still frowning and slightly withdrew from the hug to look into the other's eyes once more. He searched for a sign of Schwarz' insidious intentions but just found seriousness and something that almost looked like hope. Was Mastermind earnestly hoping for him to believe him?

The whole situation would have been a lot more agreeable for the former PI if the person opposite him wouldn't have been a telepath and therefore wouldn't have been able to find out how much the blond hoped that the look in the German's eyes was honest. But since that wasn't the case, Yohji just wished that the other wasn't reading his thoughts right now. The tenderness in the jade orbs made his knees weak and he just had to say something to break the strange silence that had fallen upon them. "That still doesn’t explain why you're here."

The Schwarz assassin merely grinned. He took a step forwards then raised a hand and gently cupped the blond's cheek. He let his thumb roam over the other's smooth skin and slowly leaned in while whispering: "That's why... "

Yohji tautened as he felt the other's tender lips on his. He mused for an instant whether he wasn't going to make a huge mistake but the thought trickled away as he felt Schuldig's slender hands wandering down his sides and sneaking around his waist to haul him nearer. The blond tilted his head and slightly parted his lips to allow his enemy to deepen the kiss. And as the other gladly accepted the invitation, Yohji fingers crept up the muscular chest and the bent neck to tangle with silky strands of fiery hair.


Falling asleep in the back of my car
Who'd had believed I could get this far
Now all of my friends have lost their defense
Doesn't make much sense... but I don't need sense.


Yohji idly played with the border of the redhead's shirt while watching the sleeping beauty. They shared the backseat of his car, cuddled up to each other. The blond had often complained about the lack of space that his car provided but right now he didn’t care, on the contrary.

A smile spread over his face as he lay down, resting his head on Schuldig's chest. Mindlessly he stroke over the other's arm while listening to the calm beating of the telepath's heart. Yohji sighed contently and shifted a little bit then closed his eyes. He still wasn't able to drift away into sleep even if he should be tired as hell after being on the road almost the whole day. Whatever... he wouldn't enjoy his dreams more than the actual situation anyway. The blond nestled against the broad chest when suddenly the disadvantage of not being able to sleep made itself felt. His thoughts begun to run through his mind, especially a particular one.

How should this go on?

He couldn't just go back to the Koneko and tell his teammates that there was more about Schuldig. And what about the next mission when they would encounter Schwarz? How should he be able to fight Mastermind? How should he keep his loyalty to his friends while feeling attracted to their enemy?

Yes, he felt attracted to Schuldig, he wasn't able to deny this anymore. Still Weiss were more than only teammates to him, they were his friends and for the first time he realized that he was probably putting them, and himself, into serious danger.

Yohji clenched his hands to fists and buried his face in the soft fabric of the other's shirt. He didn't want to think about that right now... he just wanted to lie here like this as long as possible.

"Then stop thinking about it."

The blond straightened up a little bit to gaze at the telepath's face.

Schuldig blinked and opened his eyes. He looked down at Yohji and stroked a golden lock out of the other's face. "Don't forget, I can't help it but read your thoughts when we're this close. I guess I should teach you how to shield your thoughts someday," he drawled out in a sleepy voice.

The Weiss assassin just stared at his enemy. "That... that makes no sense."

"What makes no sense?" The redhead stifled a yawn and glanced questioningly at the other man.

Yohji pondered for a moment then locked gazes with the blue-green orbs. "Everything. Everything of this just makes no sense."

A smirk played on Schuldig's lips as he slung his arms around Yohji and drew him nearer to burry his face in the blond hair. "So? What does make sense in this world at all? Does it make sense that I can read minds? That Oracle catches glimpses of the future while Prodigy is able to destroy a whole building with a mere thought and Berserk can be impaled by as many knives as possible without even caring? Does it make sense that people fear what they don't understand and hate what they fear?" The German's words had got a bitter undertone but his smile at Yohji hadn't changed. "Sometimes it's just senseless to ask for sense."

The blond chuckled faintly and pressed against the other, his fingers playing with a strand of orange locks. "You know what? Right now I don't need sense."

Schuldig laughed once and tightened the grip around his enemy. "Neither do I."


I've been feeling uninspired
Battered and... broken tired
Cuz there's many things I've never learned or even decided...
What I'm ready to serve.







*****
Owari