Hey after two years I decided to change the introduction to this web page.  10 bounus points to anyone that notices.  Hehe anyway so this is where it begins the most massively stupid thing I have ever undertaken in my entire life.  It is basicly an open fourm where I can get out my ideas to you all, and as you can see I have alot of ideas.  Well that's all for this go off and have fun. 

You know I can do alot of things, but most of the time they turn out bad.  There is however one thing I can do really really well and that is garlic bread.  I can make garlic bread so fucking good you'll be begging me for more.   It's my one true skill, anyways I'll tell you the secret to makeing it.    First off I use bagles or hamburger buns but I prefer bagels.  THe best type to use are the onion bagels but any will do.  Now the secret is lots of butter, make sure you put a fairly thick layer of butter on the bread.  Next put on some garlic salt to tast.  Now take some stuff that's only labled as Italia seasoinings.   I don't know what the hell it is but it's really good.  Make sure that there is a bunch around everywhere.  Now use parmisan cheese, and SO HELP ME GOD YOU USE KRAFT PARMISAN CHEESE I'LL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BURY YOU WITH IT!!!  Make sure you put a ton of chees on everywhere.  Now you can just stick it in the toaster and be done with it but I prefer to put some extra shape chedder cheese on top for some addtional flavor.  Anyways toast it once on medium and another time on the top brown settting.    And you got some of the best stuff ever.

YOu know what I hate about movies is that stupid people can go see them.   I mean go look at amazon.com and check out some of the new classics like fargo, very bad things, pi, and others.  Poeple just rag on these movies for no other reason other than they just diddn't get them.  God that really pisses me off.  More that 90% of the negative reviews are just people typeing THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!! and that's it.  I have seen disturbingly few well written negative reviews but there is one under pleasantville.  It's long and at the bottom of the list but at least it's good.   Now books on the other hand, stupid people don't read books very often so naturaly there is a lot less rewviews like THIS BOOK SUCKED!!! and thats it.  Oh well maby someday people will take a hint not all movies were made for morons.

You know I love movies right now my favorite movie is Very Bad Things.   I always wanted to see this movie but things got in the way.   Anyways I was talking to my therapist and she told me that she said I should go see it because she thought it was funny.  I admit it was funny hell I went out a bought it but the thought of another adul telling me to see that movie makes me wonder.

You know I love music I got almost 200 mp3's and a growing cd collection (I'm just now diverting money to music so sue me).  Anyways one day when I was listening to my mp3's I realized that I had just gone from the Brian Setzer Orchestra to Marolyn Manson and then I went to Harvey Danger to Rob Zombie.  Now my veiws on what is normal and what isn't was always fuzzy at best but I am pretty shure this sort of thing just shouldn't happen.  So I decided to make up a list of my favorite songs amd a list that I used to see wether a song was good or not.

My five fovorit songs (this can and dose change monthly)

The Reflecting God -Manson

It's What I Got- sublime

Demonoid Phenomenon-Rob Zombie

Another Love Song -Insane Clown Posse

FlagpoleStitta- Harvey Danger

As you can see it's a pretty odd list of songs but hey if you've been to my other pages what would you have expected.  Anyways there are a broad number of reasons I would like a song they are:

I can identify with what their singing about (Korn freak on a leash Blink 182 what's my age again)

Just the way I feel when I hear the song (the hellbilly delux cd most manson songs)

If the song Makes Me Happy ( Brian setzer orchestra as long as I'm singing Chumbawumba tubthumping)

The song puts a twisted smile on my face (Another Love Song ICP Adios KMFDM)

And just the way it sounds (rammstein)

Well theere's my thoughts on music pretty odd isn't it.  To bad the Insane Clown Posse is so rap oriented or i'd be a jiggalo lickty split.

This is the title of the wierdest fucking movie I have ever seen.   Go rent it and you'll see what I mean!  Just be warned when I say it's wierd I really mean it.  It's good though

I knew I always had a dark sence of humor but I delt with it. After all I have freinds with equaly dark senses of humor so I don't feel so strange but sometimes I wonder.  When I went to see the movie deep blue sea the last the last thing I expected to do was laugh but I did and it wasn't at the humerous relief.   In fact I kept hopeing that the humerous relieft would die because he annoyed the hell out of me.  No instead I found my self laughing at some of the people being killed in the most horrible fastion.  I also laugh when bad things happen to the people around me like when my dad ran full tilt into a glass door.  I was bearly able to control myself.  It's wierd being the only one luaghting oh well.  Of all the dark parts of my personality I think that one is the worst. 

You know I find most t-shirts inadiquit to my unique sence of humor so I'll be makeing some of my own.  I already made one that I love dearly on the fron it's compleatly blank but on the back it says "this is my back".  THis is my favorite shirt and I'm planning to make another one.   Now I want to make some more shirts with the following sayings

The moon told me to do it

I love people

I'm a vampire hug me

*a picture of me standing over a jack in the box with a shot gun*

I eat crayons what's your excuse

Hug me I have a disease

More to come!

You know all my freinds hate each other it's the wierdest thing.   I'm not jokeing it's true.  They all hate each other I shudder at the though of haveing them all get together in one spot.  Half of them would kill each other and it would be very messy.  Sometimes I'm left wondering who I will sit with during lunch and where could I go so that no one will find us and start fighting.    Even in the wide wacky world of on-line relationships this curse never leaves me.   Oh well I suppose I could have worse problems, but this one really vexes me.   To bad I can't give ya'll decent examples because you'd have to know me personaly but trust me it happens.

today I was running around outside in a thunderstorm.   God how I love to do that.  To bad the house is so cold when I come inside or i'd do it more often.  THere isn't anything I love more than a good thunderstorm.

I have hazel green eyes and personaly I think there're fucking wierd looking.  They got all these streacks of brown and blue in them *shudder* sometimes I wish I had a nice pair of normal eyes.  Of course I'm the only person who seems to think my eyes are creep looking everyone else loves them, and I try not to exagerate but when people you bearly know take off your glasses look directly into your eyes and say "wow you have cool eyes" you figure these things out.   God thats a good feeling momets like that almost make school worthwhile.

You know being tall isn't all fun and games it has some very serious downsides to it.  The most common and annoying for me is that when I'm standing in a crowd of my peers and someone is looking for a random person I get picked far to often for it to be conincdense.  In one of my classes it got so bad that I just ended up volenteeing for everything because I'd be picked anyways.  The next problem is that most bathtubs have diffivculty containing me.  I like to take baths, they are very relaxing expecialy with bubbles!  Lastly and most frusterating is the fact that sort girls have problems kissing me.  The only times I've been kissed is when I'm either sitting down or when I wandering around on my knees.  Oh well it could be worse... yeah I know.

Recently I started painting my nails black.  At first it was out of nessecity (I was unhappy with the paint job someone else did... leave it at that.) and I was just useing a black sharpie marker and a smile.  The sharpie marker wore off to easly so I started putting some clear shit I found in my moms bath room to put over the marker.  This worked marginaly better but not much cause the clear shit wasn't nail polish and it wore off really easly.  So finnaly I graduated to black nail polish.   THat stuff is hard to put on and I have a new found respect for everyone that paints thier own nails!

Many people have asked me why I paint my nails black well here is the answer.  Well as you know I stated doing it out of nessesity but then I kept doing it cause I felt like it then I stopped for a long while.  THen summer came along and I was going through a near terminal fit of depression which lasted roughly half my summer.   One day I was sitting on the beach stareing at my hands, I'd been sitting there for quite some time when suddenly I realized what the hell I should feel good after all I could be much worse off.  So I grabbed my trusty black sharpie marker and my clear shit and I painted my nails black.  I did this as a reminder for me, so when I look at my nails I rember just how bad I felt how good I really have it and how bad I could really be.

When I make ice tea I make it sweet and strong.   I have this lucky glass which is pretty big and in it I'll but 5 scoops of sweetend ice tea mix and 3 packets of equal.  This equal stuff is great it disolves better than sugar dose and it's twice as sweet.  One glass of this and I'm on a major sugar buzz the only problem is that it makes your bladder go balistic.  Once I pissed three times in the same hour!  Oh well it's damn good stuff though.

I also have another story involveing ice tea, now I've never tried it but someday I should.  I was at the gun club and I was listening to these really cool old people talking about WWII and espionage and stuff like that.   Then they got off on the subject of hacking and one of them said one way thouse hackers stay awake so ling is that they smoke instant ice tea mix.  Then I said you got to be kidding me but he was like no I tried it once and I stayed up for 24 hours with out evern feeling it.   Well noramly I'd of said bullshit but he was a old and pretty cool so I didn't but it makes you wonder...

Recently I read the book A Clockwork Orange, then I saw the movie.   To tell the truth I prefered the book better.  I like the book better because it got into the more thought provokeing areas much more efficently, and it uses the slang alot more often.  Well that's all I have to say about that.

Okay the last time I came to update this page I had a big thing I wanted to say and umm I forgot it, but now I'm back and remeber what it was that I wanted to say so without further ado...

When I bought the book A Clockwork Orange I was imeadiatly pleased by three things no glossary, the 21 chapter, and an introduction by the author of the book.   The introduction is what will be concewring us for this part of my rant.  In his introduction he acused his publisher of makeing the book more pesimistic by takeing out the 21st chapter where the main charecter became good.  He said that it made it look like there was no hope for humanity and our society.  I of course disagree our country was founded by smugglers and law breakers of all sorts.   They had the aditude of it you don't get caught then it isn't wrong.  This aditude still prevails today in the form of software piracy speeding drugs prostitution ect. ect.    Over the course of the book I grew very close to the very violent deranged main charecter, and I was most distressed when his basic desition makeing ability was taken away from him.  The system has one the rebellion was quelled... another crushing victory for big brother.  Personaly I don't like to see that, when ever the under dog (the main charecter Alex) gets his ass kicked I don't feel good anymore.    When he beat the system and reverted back to his evil self it was like the ultimate victory of the underdog.  His basic ability to make desitions was taken away from him and he bounced back, he beat the ulitmate system and for that we should be happy for the little guy.  Beating the system them giveing up is not what I stand for and I feel that the same is true for many other americans.  So in conclution when I need a good deep phychological read I'll grab the book.  But when I want a purley astetic clockwork experience I'll grab the movie.  So in the end it all works out rather well.

the folowing two sections are taken out of my jornal for english

The best phone call… hmmm… let me think about that, aww heck lets just forget it I don’t like my phone. In fact I hate talking over the phone I feel that it is a very impersonal and cold way to talk to one another. If I’m going to talk to someone I want to be there with them, not somewhere else on a phone. Also when your talking on the phone to someone you could be doing something else entirely causing you not to pay attention to what the other person is saying. I don’t like that I always want to make sure that the other person is listening before I’m talking but you can’t do that over a phone. Now that you know all that the words who cares come to mind get on with the best phone call bit, but this other part is very important. When I have a day off from school, or a half day or even sometimes when I get home after school I take the phone off the hook and put it in the dishwasher. I do this so that if anyone important calls they will leave a message, then I can decide whether or not response to the message could wait for a little bit or if I should call back right away. Nextly when the phone is in the dishwasher you can’t hear that annoying off the hook noise it makes. So in short I don’t have best phone calls because the only time I’ll use them is if I’m going to meet someone and I’m confirming plans, and the meeting is always better than the call.

In this journal entry we are suppose to be writing about when was the last time we used every facial muscle to laugh. As I looked about and observed the classroom I noticed many people were stopping to ponder the question at hand. It was as if they were straining to come up with something that was that funny. I find this very tragic and sad. I and my friends laugh on a regular and daily basis simply because we are out to have fun. I make it a goal of every day to use every facial muscle when I laugh, and I meet my goal every day. I read my books by Terry Pratchet or Douglas Adams, or I just hang out with my friends, and we always end up laughing after about three minutes. I think because we laugh so often that we are better off and more healthier because of it. I know one kid how said that the only reason he dose drugs is because it makes him laugh and feel good. I found that odd because when ever we get together we end up laughing so much and acting so strangely that we might as well been on drugs anywise. To answer the question it was this morning in the morning crew, I can’t remember exactly what it was all about but it was pretty funny. Lastly you’ll notice that there is no date on this paper but the previous sentence it applicable everyday anyway.

My wizdom page is the lagest section of my webpage and probley the most pointless, then one day someone asked me what's with your wizdom page and I said "i dunno".  Now that's not a very good answer but it was all I had at the time.   So now looking back I remeber how the wizdom page all started.   It started in my 2nd hour class which was either very boring or very fun depending on what was going on at the time.  During the fun days we would make lots of jokes and carrying on untill we got yelled at, then we would quiet down for about three seconds and revert back to our original loud selves.  During one of the boring days I decided to write some stuff down, basicly what ever came to mind first, that was the five things you can never have to much of.  After I wrote that one I began writting others rangeing from the absured to the serious.  I discoverd that this was a wonderous way to pass the time so I began to do it more and more often.  Often times people would insist on seeing what I was writting so one day I threw it all on a web page, and that's how wizdom came about.

My pockets are very magical, at any given times I can pull a rainbow of sharpies, 2 pencils, 1 pen, 1 caligraphy pen, and two stuffed frogs out of my pockets.   Now as I empty out my pockets to locate a specific doodad many people ask why the hell do you carry all that stuff in your pockets and I reply because I can but there is a deeper reason than that I just never thought about it untill now.  I keep things in my pockets so that I will always be prepared for anything that happens to me.    Since there is no pencil holder in my backpack all that stuff must default to my pocket.  Also I end up seeing lots of misc crap on my floor in the morning, this all goes into the pockets and at one point or another I somehow find it usefull, for more info on this see the next section on everyday disasters.

You know what I think that information should flow more freely over the internet.  After all is someone is going to stalk you they can find all they needed to know from the information I've provided in this web page.  So I will make every one's life easyer

NAME: Michael Bentley

PHONE # 1-954-796-4172

ADDRESS: 48sw 114th terr

Coral Springs Florida

33071

IM SCREEN NAME: thekolo35

All the information I have provided is factual and accurate so if you ever feel the need to reach out and touch some one go a head who knows it might be interesting.  I have done this because... well... I can.  What would be better than haveing the feeling that you just but all your vital contact information on the net for everyone to see.  Well whatever things may come...

YOu know what sometimes I think that my only role in life is to make other people laugh and feel good.  I mean I'm not physicaly atractive I have no one singular skill, acedemicaly I excell at nothing, and I have done nothing to further the growth of our population.  So what's my piont why do I exicet what's it all about really?  Well I think it's to make people laugh and feel good.  Not like the stand-up comedian haha let's look at the very funny man, no it's more of my general presense.  Anyways I find it all rather disturbing and odd.  I oppologise for not being able to give you all an example I guess you'd just have to know me.

yes ladies and gental men I have undenileable proof that god excits and that is...............(dots add suspense)...................bunny rabbits.   Yes that's right your average everyday rabit is liveing proof that god excits.   Now you might disagree with this but hear me out.  What do you do when you see a bunny, you go aww how cute right? (if you don't skip the therapy just kill yourself now)    So have you seen a bunny doing anything else useful... no of course not.    Therefor god must execist because only he could creat something so worthless and stupid (but cute) and let it survive all these years.  It also discredits Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest.

Spin doktors... ah one of my great love's and facinations.  A spin doktor is probley one of the most powerful jobs a person could hope to have, ever.  I mean think about it ad campains pretty much determain what we buy, with what credit card.   They deteramin what we think and feel about certain companys.  Case and point Nikey shoes are put together by 10 year olds in a sweat shop in some other country and yet nobody cares because of thier excelnt ad campain.   THese people determain wheather or not we think eggs are good for us or whether we like meat or not.  We can asugae the fears of passenges of an airplane with slick talking and bougus statistics.   They can make us think or do almost anything.   Now how cool is that, I mean it's so niffty hell even the news is part of the great big spin matchines.  Just think about the storys you don't hear becasuse it would hurt the sponcer of the newspaper or TV station.  Even the mighty CNN would have to bow under the matchines increadabley mighty crushing wieght.  Someday I wanna run that machine and controll your thought.