The Mysteriouse Pink Haired Girl

If anyone new to my life deserves a rant it is the mysteriouse pink haired girl. Of all the people I have met up here she is by far the strangest, she has apeared during the strangest parts of my life, her sudden apearence makes me do things that are so vastly out of charecter that five minuts latter when she is gone I find myself sitting down and wondering what the hell has just happened to me. An example would be: It was 4 in the morning and I was trying to help someone get over thier newly ex boyfriend. Normaly I am fairly okay at this but today I was tired and wanted to go to bed, if I wasn't so worried for her I would of. So in a stroke of exhausted geniouse I suggested she go up to her room and get the teddy bear he gave her and burn it. Minuts into the future we were burning the teddy bear, she was feeling better, and I could finnaly sleep. I turn around to see a little pink haired girl pawing through my back pack. I don't know why I didn't just pick up the back pack and yell no. I've done it before to people, and they were a lot scaryer looking. After she discovered a buntch of my blank books she asked which one she should take, I gave her one and her and her highly bewildered looking boyfreind wandered away. It took me a full hour to realize what I had done. I had just given one of my blank books to someone who I only knew as the pink haired girl for no reason. One of the other kids who was out there latter told me that his jaw litteraly dropped when he saw me hand the book over. To be honest I'm amazed I did it myself, I got it back though. She has shown up other times too, times where I have felt bewildered, lost, or dehydrated. It is strange how things work sometimes, well next rant.

Burning Hate

This is the feeling I have twords my Creative Writeing teacher. Okay I take that back I don't hate him, but he dose piss me off. I think that pisses me off the most about him are the comments of reversal of normal word order, and don't use old phrases. The first one is a minor bone of contension because after all I tend to invert normal word order a lot when I write. I like it, if you don't like it there is a whole over there you can be right now. But the thing that really gets to me, I mean hard core gets to me is the "Don't use old phrases line" that drives me up the bloody wall. God damnit a minor bone of contension is not an old phrase. I'm sorry but it isn't in fact I haven't seen it in any poems to date. So when I put it in my poem and see that remark next to it I am promptly driven over the line. This isn't an isolated insident. First of all I have issues with the argument he makes, it seems that more often than not he gets the concepts of a large vocabulary confused with the notion of what is old sounding. That isn't even the root of the problem but it certainly dosn't help any. The root of the problem is that useing an older venacular (one of thouse old words by the way can't use it in a poem) is that it manages to convay all the ideas we have about a romantic poem. So one phrase can single handedly invoke a whole array of mental images in the reader, when used correctly this is a valuable tool. By takeing one of our valuable tools and saying you can't use it because I don't like it...is stupid. Instead of him trying to improve our indivdual writeing styles he tries to get us to write more like him. That is something that angers me, mostly because I don't like his poems.

Breaking the Rules

You know I dispense lots of advice out on this silly little web page of mine, most of it I ignor myself. Tonight I broke one rule that I always thought was very important to me, it was none of my peoms will end up on the internet ever. The reasons for this rule were many and complicated but in the end it all boiled down to the me being shy about my stuff. Of course my poor step dad Dave has a web page, I keep meaning to link to it but links pages are such a pain in the ass. Anyway he has had a webpage inspired by in part this one, except he takes submissions. I never submitted anything untill now, mostly because people actually read his web page, unlike this one where I can take comfort in the fact that you all have stopped paying atension by now and are watching tv...right? Lol anyway so I gave him some of the poems I had lieing around my room. These peoms are special, special in a way that only people who read this rant will understand. These peoms will only excist on his page, I have no saved copies of them myself, the printed copies have been thrown out and they don't excist in written form. They are nothing but ghosts of the digital age, and when the great crash comes they will be nothing. We put much faith in these computer like things but paper can last over hundreds of years, computers...well hell they don't even work out of the box, think of it. Of course if you ask me thouse peoms are better off not remebered anyway.

Shmelp

Shemlp; A derogatory word for straight people. I made this up one way when my freinds and I were going over all the bad things we could call someone and seeing if we could trace it back to thier national origins. It took us awhile to figgure out just how the gooks got thier name. Anyway the number of words that we use to make fun of gay people is staggering. Most of them don't make sense either which is odd, for example how did they get the name fag anyway. Ahem so we decided to give them some ammo to fight back with, we made up the word Shmelp. Use it and spread the word.

Ignorance

Recently I have found a new way to look at ignorance. Before ignorace annoyed me, there were times where I couldn't stand it and in fact I would even lash out against people who suffer from this common problem. However of all the things ignorance made me do, it never occured to me that I should be thankful for it. Here is why. Things will come and go though your life like grains of sand in the wind. There are very few things that do remain constant throughout it all, one of them will be ignorance. No matter how much you know there will still be more that you don't know, a point of view you can't see, or an experience you will never have. Ignorance will be with you for the rest of your life like an old freind who you haven't called in a long time. It is something that you just have to acept, and learn to acept in others. It is always going to be around in everyone, it is one way that we are all equal.

Life can be so nice

My god if there is any phrase open to bitter sarcasm it is this one, this fact just occured to me last night as I was watching my favoire episode of boogiepop phantom that shares the same name as the title of this rant. Just as a little exparament I decided it would be fun to what would happen if I wrote a peom with the title life can be so nice, it ended up being about a mid air collision between to jumbo jets. If you take out the horrible loss of life that would be involved it would be really pretty. Anyway I don't know there is something about that innocent little phrase that makes me want to give Dalmer a great big hug.

Being Back

In 6 more hours it will be officialy monday here at UWF and a new semester is about to start. This is relatively exciteing. Right now I am exhausted, I stayed up to late last night, woke up to early today, and flew on a plane. I hate to fly it always ends in pain for me but now here I am on a Sunday night comtimplateing what it is I should be doing next and and looking aprehensivly at the pile of books I'll be reading for my classes. It is a formidable little pile but nothing to bad, all in all it looks to be an exciteing semester still. It is odd being back, watching the slow trickle of people seep back into thier dorm rooms and start to put back thier lives together. Within a weeks time it will be like we never left and thouse three weeks didn't happen. School is funny like that, it won't be long before spring break is eagerly anticipated and plans will be formed. It is all very neat I can heardly sit still or think of anything for to long at a time. The prospect of going back and getting into the swing of everything is a nice one. At the moment I feel like a displaced person, I don't know where anything is and I have no daily routine yet. It feels a bit like haveing your life chewed up and regurgated, right now I just want to get pointed east once again and get on track. Take these few moments of inertia and excitement and run with them. I want to get ahead of the sylabus now so I don't have to worry so much latter. I'm feeling good at the moment, I feel like laughing for awhile then breathing a sigh of releif. Maybe I'll go watch a movie in a bit.

Communist Manifesto

I get to read the comunist manifesto for class. This is something that I find moderatly exciteing, except that I have to apply it to heart of darkness. Appying anything to that book is a pain. Anyway that isn't really the point. The point is that our university book store expects me to pay about 15 bucks for it. Now I can take being ripped off by the book store, I mean it is a university and that is what they do. But I mean there are just certain things that just shouldn't happen. The whole distribution of wealth thing...I dunno I think the fact that someone wants me to pay for it in the first place is a seriouse blow to the feasability of it ever working.

Happy!

Evan once put it as, Michael Bentley! isn't happy. He just pretends he is happy, where deep down inside he isn't. The thing is that he is aware of this fact and is okay with it. That used to be true. It was probley the truest words I have ever heard spoken about me. I thought that this state of mind would be permenate and fell into a very comfortable rut. Well that has changed. I realized this the other day when I was on the verge of exhaustion due to a miscalculation as to how long it would take me to fall asleep. Anyway, I used to be deadly afraid of being exhausted, this was because it is very difficult to pretend that you are happy when you can't think straight because you are so tired. Anyway this would normaly be when the deep dark depression would set it. But, this time it was diffrent, this time it didn't happen at all. In fact I felt better that I was exhausted. I found this to be bizzare but wonderful, it was like a time back when things were very diffrent. I am currently feeling great.

Transitory Nature of Life

Life is transitory by nature. As smart as this sounds I did not come up with this idea someone else did who was probley smarter than me. Anywho, I never liked the transitory nature of life, it always bothered me. That was the thing I hated most about south florida, nothing there ever stood still. I have never seen a place move about so much in my entire life, it made me want to go insane. Liveing there was alot like liveing in a giant ameoba, always shifting and moveing around but never going anywhere quickly. So I left as soon as I could. This was a wise choise on my part, a beleif that is reaffirmed everytime I am forced to go home. The problem is that the place I left to is another transitory place. One more so than most collages. It almost makes me feel like I shouldn't bother meeting new people because they will be gone within a couple years of my life. Mabey I chose the wrong university if I wanted stability in the student body, or mabey collage has changed since all thouse inane movies were made. Either way it seems that people leave here as soon as they can and they are replaced by people who are fleeing from something else. It seems like everyone is running from something or to somewhere else in the hopes of something better. I guess it takes people a while to realize that there is the same things waiting for them everywhere that they choose to go to. It isn't about where you are, it is all about what you make of it. Ah well someday the monkeys will learn and they will all come home to where ever it is that they are.

The Robot

It's a sighn of the times I am telling you. This kid is an Orwellina dictators wet dream, someone that the pigs from animal farm dream about, and probley someone Mr. Mond would have cloned. This kid is one of the most universaly hated people I know. Which is a shame because everyone should be liked by someone...ah well this kid has a girl freind but you all know how that goes. Anyway this kid is an RA at our university and I just discovered that he has a learning disablilty, one that is rather interesting. He has to follow the rules. It is the way he learns you see. When he reads something his mind can't process the fact that you are allowed to deviate from it. His mind is literaly constructed in a way so that he can't break the rules, on top of this he can't understand who it is that other people can break the rules as well. This is naturaly the first person that you'd put in charge of enforceing the rules...right? Anyway I find it interesting that he can't not follow the rules, it makes you wonder just how recently this has been showing up. I've observed that people are much more willing to seek knowlage in others instead of figgureing it out for themselves. It is so much easyer to ask someone else than to use your own head. If I could pick one person who I don't want to breed it would be this kid. At least most other assholes can tell when a rule is a peice of crap or not.