When I was first assigned to do a personal narrative I really couldn’t decided what to do. I mean there are so many things I could write about there where things that could have been funny, sad, uplifting or depressing the choice was mine. The problem is that to me I am not all that exciting of a person so I had to pick something that meant a whole lot to me. Finally I decided on the topic that would receive the full force of my rambling, aesthetic experiences that I have seen and felt, The mall at Christmas, two depressed people at Christmas, BiBo’s party, singing in the rain (well okay talking), and finally hurricane George’s.

Joy this should be the feeling mainly felt at Christmas time, well for me it isn’t but we’ll get into that if I ever write one of these silly things ever again. Me I am one of those nauseating people that either gets all his shopping done much ahead of time or I can walk in the mall and be done with my shopping in an hour flat. That’s 4 people in a mall that is jammed packed, not bad if I do say so myself. SO where dose the whole joy thing tie in? Well it’s the mall a Christmas time. As goulish as this may sound I actually feed of the frenzied stresses that everybody else is in. I don’t know why and I don’t care but being the only perfectly relaxed person in a mob full of panicked frenzied maniacs is one of my favorite aesthetic experiences. This feeling is happy feeling is a mix of the irony that this holiday that celebrates a wonderful thing causes so much pain and stress and the fact that I am not part of it. Needless to say when Christmas comes around I suddenly become a mall rat sucking on my slurpie and watching the rush.

While we are on the topic of Christmas we can move on to my other Christmas aesthetic experience. For me unlike most people Christmas isn’t a joyous time, we usually all end up fighting and by the end of the evening at least on of us is sitting in the corner staring at the wall. That’s the way it has been for as long as I can remember and it reinforces the though that the only reason why we don’t fight more often is the fact that we don’t all spend enough time together to get around to it. Anyway it was Christmas eve and I was doing my best at avoiding my parents, and with the help of years of practice and a little white lie I was succeeding (sure mom I going to sleep now) and I was alone online. Then in my little buddy list that was emptied some one signed on whom I hadn’t spoken to for a long time. I had missed her greatly and I eagerly began a conversation with her, which quickly turned into a phone conversation. She had the same feelings about the holiday as I did so and she was feeling just as low as I was. SO we talked, cheered each other up and before I knew it, it was Christmas day. What a way to bring it in, two depressed Christmas haters talking on the phone together and becoming closer. I wouldn’t have given that up for the world.

K enough of Christmas on the whole it depresses me, and on to one of my fondest memories of 1999, BiBo’s birthday party. An entire personal narrative could be written on the events of this party alone but we’ll skip most of it and save it for latter. BiBo’s party was amazing for a couple of reasons, one due to some scheduling fluke his party was on the only half day that was on a Friday ever. This in itself was amazing because by the end of the day it didn’t even begin to feel like we went to school that day. Another cool thing about this party was that just about all my friends where there and when ever we all get together in one spot there is a guaranteed good time. Now that you got all the background bits that you need on to the aesthetic part. At some point in the party we all wandered out side, why we did it I don’t know but we did. Soon we began lying down in the grass. Then people started using other people as pillows and by the time we were all done lying down it looked like we were all recovering from Marti Gras. A bunch of people passed out in front of someone’s house, you gotta love a scene like that. Why was it aesthetic I don’t rightly know but it was a thing of buety that I will never ever forget.

You know for as long as I can remember I liked the rain, in fact the rain and me go a long way back. There are numerous occasions where I have found my self running full tilt through puddles, and walking calmly through torrential down pours. All of these in one way or another have been some sort of aesthetic experience but there is one that stands out more than every other. Most of the time my frolics in the rain have been limited to me all by myself or other people being mad at me cause I got them wetter than they were. Sometimes I don’t understand people, but hey they don’t really matter. One day I was on my way home and I saw sitting alone in the rain was one of my dearest friends. She was soaked and none too happy but that was quickly remedied after my arrival. We stood together and conversed for the longest time, in the rain. One of the things that made this moment so special was that I finally found someone with the same affinity to the rain as me and the other was that this was a rare rain. The rain in Florida is usually fast, heavy and borderline painful at times. This time however was different, it was a long, slow, steady, rain that allowed us to sit and talk in relative comfort once you got used to the water. Of all the memories listed here today this is one of my favorites, because it was good rain and good company and that’s hard to beat.

Now that I’ve dispensed with one rain story we can move onto another one that also involves the rain, a whole lot of it. Hurricane George was coming and it for us Florida’s it could have meant the end of the world. As we spent the day before standing in line gathering our plywood and nailing it to the outside of our house. Wheee that sounds like fun doesn’t it? Well it wasn’t so your wrong, besides we got two pieced up before our only drill bit broke and we came to the conclusion that the stupid thing would miss us anyway. We were pretty much right thank god, we were hit with some of the outside bands bringing all sorts of wind and rain with it but not much more. I’m understating the damage but that’s what it seemed like to me and that’s all that really matter at this moment doesn’t it? At any rate for some god-forsaken reason instead of being huddled in my own house hoping I wouldn’t die I was at a friend’s house and we were having a grand old time. It was I; Matt and his other friend Russell. When the rain first hit we made our respective calls home that we were spending the night because there was a hurricane on the loose and we were all going to die. Of course maybe ten minutes after we made our phone calls my friend Matt was like "hey lets go for a walk". Me being an idiot I agreed, together the three of us musty have spent a half an hour running around in the hurricane force winds and rain watching tree branches going places other than on the trees and the general preparedness of the neibor hood. After that we went and played in the park for a little bit but after we realized the 60mph winds and sand doesn’t mix we returned to Mat’s house. At the door we were met by Mat’s mom who said "no coming in the house all wet" so we did the logical thing and went swimming in his pool for a good couple of hours. Since our clothes were already saturated to the point where it didn’t matter we didn’t bother finding bathing suits to swim in, after all that would be silly. When we eventually wore our selves out, we emerged from the pool dried off changed cloths and discovered that the rain stopped. So we all went and saw Fight Club, which was the perfect thing to top off the evening of fun frantic frivolity.

This list of aesthetic experiences is incomplete by far, these weren’t the best I’ve ever had or the most memorable but they were the most recent. Every one of these events happened during the year 1999 and all of them meant a whole lot to me. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this little look into my life and I hope that maybe you got something from it. If not well these things do happen. Fini

YOu know I was debateing on weather or not I should put that up or not but then I realized that you know what it's an important thing.  I think that it is valuable that we gain insite into what memories that give us supreme pleasure.    It's another clue as to how we as a people work.

A guy just came by and wanted me to fill out a census form, I blantantly lied about it inorder to make him go away...but I don't feel bad instead it made me think.   THe census is a very important thing for our country... in theory.  It allows them to mark down how many new skools need to be built where new roads need to placed which stated are in the most finatial trouble etc etc etc.  BUt then I began to think well first of all where dose all this information go.  I mean the amount of changes that are made are pretty much none at all and even if we wanted to make changes our government would move so slowly that it would be nearly impossible for it to have any effect.  And another thing can you imnagin how long it takes to process all the information collected by the cencus.  It would take a year at least so now what is the point of finning it out and takeing their bloody survays?  I don't know but I doubt that they are used for thier intended purpouse.  Don't get me wrong I'm not afraid of the big government boogyman in fact I couldn't care less.  All the politicias are to busy advanceing thier own political agendas and gathering power to be bothered with us.  So really the only thing that the census amounts to is a big waste of time, one that I would not want to participate in.

FOr thouse of you that notice every time I have typed skool on this page I have pretty much typed it "skool".  I always ment to explain this little oddity but I haven't ever gotten around to it untill now.  I feel very stronly that our education system seriously need to be reformed in several areas but the area that needs the most work is how we teach english class.  FOr thouse of you that have gone most of the way through high skool you will learn that there are two types of english teachers.  The tralala isn't this fun lets read this story analize this book and watch this movie...reaseach paper and spelling what's that?  THen there are the other english teachers the hard ass 5 points off for every mispelled word write this 5 page essay in class spell everything right grammer 3 times a week english teachers.    THere is ocationaly the happy medium but not really.  NOw here's the problem there are two many of the tralalas and not enough of the hard asses.  We need the hard asses to teach us to spell how to prorperly formulate sentenses so we know prorper grammer and we now how to properly punctuate our senteses.  I was never officialy taught how to use a comma.  It's not that it was taught to me and I wasn't paying atension or I was sick that day it was just never taught to me.  I was never taught the basic rules of how to spell words.  Just about everything I've learned how to spell was on my own useing the old "just sound it out" story.  I am an extream case but there are becomeing more like me every day and it has got to change.    We either got to standerdize the way english is taught in america or we got to make a seperate grammer class where it's all grammer all the time being taught.  I don't want there to be more people like with with somuch to say but no way to spell it.   Ah well anyways it's just one of my more off the wall idea I could go into more detail cause there is more but I won't for now.  I just kindas wanted to get it off my chest.

Recently I noticed something in my writting, I have been saying less but writting more.  THis is a scary thing.  More and more recently I've noticed that I just haven't been saying much when I write or maby it's just that I haven't been saying as well as I used to.  Last year I was able to spit out highly pasionate groups of words onto this webpage into peoples yearbooks and bits of paper and now well it's not so.   It's like my writeing is so there but the passion and the fire that used to fule it is gone.  Today someone told me that they like my e-mails and it made them laugh.   As I think back they are horrible, filled with half full ideas and limp emotions, even when my righous anger was raised I could not bring it forth into an e-mail that caused people to sit and think.  Maby I could never do this...maby my writting was always this bad and I have just delusions of grandure, but I don't think so.    Something has changed in my writting and I don't know how to fix it.  I have some ideas what may have caused this but they are only random shots in the dark.   1) I'm paranoied my writting was always like this and nothing changed 2) each time I write an e-mail or some sort of heart felt thing I gave away a peice of myself and now I'm running out of pieces 3) I've been writting this page for to long...well enough on this

First off I'd like to say that evan did compleatly spell check this entire page, so when you see him congradulate him.  I unfortuantly can't show you his handy work cause I don't know where the disk is but he did do it all and I was amazed.   Secondly evan made an observation regarding my MIchael Bentley! the CHick Magnet? rant.  He said that Shahar dosn't flirt with girls he hits on them.   He also claims that there is a big diffrence.  Personaly I don't know what the diffrence is but I thought I would take this time out and piont it out to every one.

You know I was watching this comercial for herpies medicne and there were these people complaining about how they don't have time to take 5 pills a day becuase they have a life.  I couldn't help but think that it's becuas of thier life that they got herpies in the first place.  And it amused me so I put it here.

You know today I sat down to write some wizdom for the first time in ages and I realized something.  Have you heard the song Everybody is free to wear sunscreen?  Well go to napster and fix that problem...anyways that's what inspired me to strat writting wizom and everything else on this page.  It's amazeing how much time that one 7 minut song wasted my life.

I got a job yay me!  I  just finnshed my second week of work and now I feel it is time to right about it.  But first you will all need some background information.  My specific job is to help out the network administrator, I set up computers fix them when they break take inventory do reasearch stuff like that.   All in all it is a rewarding experence and it has given me great insight on to how the whole big world works out there.  It's really quite facinateing.  The first thing I noticed is that the office environment is the great equalizer, it's alot like death.  You have this huge mass of people that is the same level as you and then you got some people above you.  Your first thought may be oh hell it's just like skool.   But it isn't, in fact it's all sorts of diffrent, cause you see the higher ups need you to do your job or else they fail as well.  There is sort of a common bond that prevails through out the environment that says we work of we be poor.  It's an interesting experince to take part of.  I find my self going in on days where it isn't nessisary to lend what ever services I can to fowards the growth of the company.   In fact on my leishure time my thoughts have drifted over to the latest reasearch project that has been assinged to me... but they always leave befor they become to intrusive.  Now to revisit something I said earlyer an office environment is the great equalizer, like death.  It's the like death part I'm going back to.  You see  we were talking to this girl that had these really cool desighns painted on her nails.  My boss Theo was asking all these questions about how long it took and where she got them done etc. etc, and she was like guys are alsways asking thouse types of questions.  SO went on to talk about how the average guy knows very little about nail poslish in gerneral.  Then someone asked me a question, and my responce was going to be in my former life I was a freak.  But I caught my self just in time and told the story about how some girl asked to paint my nails one day and I said yeah.  My almost responce was disturbing to say the least and provoked a hellish period of deep self evaluation and introspective probings.  What saved me was seeing the CEO of the company dressed in his tradtional Nigerian garb and thinking that it was nothing out of the ordinary.  It was then I realized that I was still the same person I just needed reminding every once inna while.  Speaking of the CEO the people I work with have the coolest names ever.  You see the company is run by nigerians who all chose thier own american names so that liveing here would be easyer.  I work with people that have names like Victor, Theo, Mustafa (I can't spell it, you know that Kimba's father from the lion king), Emanuel, and many others.  It's great the people with normal names are very in the minority.   Now lets talk about leisure time or the lack there of, I get up at 6:45 I leave for work at 7:45 and I don't get home till about 7:30 or 8 o'clock at night.  Remeber thinking at the end of my first week "wow I have $177 and no time to spend it."  Of course I finnaly got the hang of it by following some of the best advice ever given to me.  Evan said this to me one day when I was all sorts of depressed, he said you should just relax.  Thouse words have helped me out quite a bit.  Oh befor I forget on June 30th we had a fire drill.  I am pleased to announce that it was handled with the same care and seriousness of high skool fire drills.    People were running about shouting where are the stairs, some people not even looking up continued on with work, others ran out side so that then can have a quick unschedualed smoke break.  It was great.  It was rather comforting that some things will never ever change.  So far I am happy my mom forced this job apon me, I mean it's better than any other job I would have gotten around here and it's given me a pheonominal look in to the world that people deal with every day.  Lastly I realized that I am more of a social person that I origianlly thought I was.  I work in the back left corrner of the 3rd floor with a very anti social person.  No one comes to visit this guy, and sometimes it get's lonely.  So maby there is hope for me after all. 

today I was thinking there alot of things that just dosn't happen in this world but really should because it's cool.  First cake is good.    People like cake weather it's vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry cream there is a cake for everyone.  So why is it that we deprive our selves of cake?  It's sitting there right in the gorcery store waiting for people to go pick it up and we don't.    Well the first thing I'm gonna do when I get older is eat cake just for the helluv it.  YEAH HUZZAH.  Next thing we do for no real reason is put away the grocerys.   You put away your grocerys in cabinets and pantrys for the sole purpouse of takeing it out again.  This whole odeal is unseeisary just leave them in the bags.  You of course take out the cake and frozen stuff and put that away but the rest you just leave there.  It's all vacume packed so it don't matter and best of all if you can't finnish some thing then you can put it away.  Do it piece by peice yeah that's the way I'm doing it.  Lastly for thouse of that have never experinced a real winter this will be lost on you but I don't care.  Duning the winter people stay inside thier houses bitch aboutg the cold and fanasize about summer bar-b-ques.  They sit there and talk about how much they want a hot dog cooked on the girll or a hamburg.   I just want to get up smack them on the side of the head and shout get off your ass and make it.   YOu'll be standing in front of  a fire for christs sake you won't freeze to death.  Since I'll be liveing up north this activity will apply to me.

You know a few days ago I was thinking random thoughts and suddenly something popped into my head that made my face flush and my head spin.    Normalcy is perfect.  THe idea that if we hear or see most any thing often enough we will come to except it as part of our reality...case and point the word normalcy was made up to prove this very point.

Recently I have been thinking alot about music and it's effect on the world blah blah blah and I realized something about my self.  I like all forms of music...it just matters what the hell thier singing about.  For example, I don't like country as a general rule.  But when they stop whineing about thier broken down pickup trucks and thier wives running off with the family dog the whole genre become so much better.  Unfortunatly more often than not it's the same old song about same old problems.  Next rap, you know if the all stopped singing about blasting caps in each others asses and all that respect gang land bullshit rap isn't all that bad.  I mean look at icp and the blood hound gang, they are rap no doubts there but they don't sing about stupididty that goes on in the middle of the cities every day so they become all sorts of better.  I have more to say on this topic but it's diffrent enough so that it warrents it's own title and stuff.  So if you would be so kind as to scroll down a bit...

Okay for some odd reason I'm on love's side, don't ask me why.    I think it's because I still think it's a really cool thing that every one should have the right to experience.  I think it's anessiary wonderful part of life that should not be passed up and stuff.  I also beleive that when you loose it instead of drwoning your self in sorrows of life you should work on getting over it and moveing on cause the faster you do the faster you can get stuck back into the fray.   I know it's easyer said than done, and I know that there is a nessisary time of mourning, and I know that it is harder to pick yourself back up and go back to society... I know it more than most of you suspect.  But I still hold firm to my belief that it is a beutiful thing and it is a nessiary part of life.  Anyways so okay I'm rooting for love yay me... this means all thouse mopey songs about how love is lost and all is hopeless and forlorn... I don't like thouse songs.    In fact I hate them, they do all sorts of bad things to the world.  Songs that depict love in a state of dispare make me so angry and frustrated I just want to pick up the writters and shout move on, so what if it's the hardenst thing in the world you'll have to do...your still alive so it's possible now GO!  Look back on all the happy memories that you have shared with that person and move on to someone else so that you may make more... because on thouse cold winter nights when your all alone sitting by the fire waiting for time to finnish ticking aways memories are all that you will have, and if they are all sad mopey memories lamenting over what was lost and never regained then thouse nights will be infinatly long.   Take heed and defend your self against such night or you may not live to see the next day.