You know I was just thinking about something. We came over here to amaerica to practis our own religions in the way we saw it fit. I mean we decided that we were tired of someone comeing down and telling us what to pray and who to pray it to. Of course there we're some snags along the lines, the whitch burnings were a slight blow to pure religiouse freedom as well as some other things but we've gotten to be pretty good about it now. We have prople worshiping satan, peagan gods, voodoo and even aeithests who's beleive is so strong it's almost a religion unto it's self. Not the dream our forfathers had in mind but hey these things happen. So now it's kinda funny that we have so much religious freedom now exept when we choose to display it publicaly. The worst however is the banning of prayer in skool, so some kids want to pray in skool. What the hell is so big about that, I say let them. Go for it, have a moment of scilence and let them pray. Now do not get me wrong, I do not want prayers read over the intercom that is just irritateing. However I feel that a moment of scilence would in no way infringe upon anyone's right to do anything. I dunno it just bothers me that a whole segment of our population is persecuted like that. They are looked down upon and made fun of for thier beleifs. That's almost as bad as makeing fun of someone because of thier name or where they are from. It dosn't seem right. ALSO about the 10 commandments on the walls. They used to have thouse hanging on the walls of our skools. YOu know the do not steal, do not murder blah blah blah all the way down through the line. The one day people went fucking nuts over it. NO no sighns on the walls telling our children not to steal, lie, cheat and murder. Such paracices are folly and sinful it's a horrible horribly very bad thing. We must take these horrbly offensive nuggests of good advice down at one. And crime has risen ever since. Tralalalala god I wish we had dsl.

Take a look at your self, not physicaly of course don't be silly but mentaly and emotionaly.  What do you see?  Now look at your parents, do you see any resembelnce?  For a long time my answer was yeah sure a little, but I mean there wasn't anything huge or concreate.  Nothing solid.  FOr a long time I felt that while my mom and I are very similar and very close there is this rift that seperated us.    That all changed this weekend.  We were at Barns and Noble whittleing away the twilight time that we always seem to end up with between Breakfast and Church.   I haveing wandered into the are section saw a book entitled the Necronomicon II, it was all about Gieger...(if you don't know who that is go find out you're not stupid).   I was sitting there looking at it pleasently enthralled when suddenly my mom can up behind me she looked over my shoulder and said, "Oh wow that's really beautiful."  NO we were not looking at the green landscapes either.  Anyway she sat down next to me and we went through the rest of the book together we would have bought it, if it wasn't for the $70 price tag.  But it made me realized that we have much more in common with thouse weird fleshy gasious anomalies that are our parents than we know...or would like to have guessed.

Today while I was walking to lunch museing on the variouse things that lay before me someone said hi to me that made me stop and realize.  During my 9th grade year as I've said before and I will say again I was a creature of solitude.    How could I have know that I was happy them?  Then suddenly I realized that all of the, prom, home comeing, gard night, graduation, birthdays, report cards, first dates...they are all memories to remind us that we were happy.  After all look to your parents as loathsome an activity some of you may find it to be, they get nostalgic at the past.  I look at my life now and I can't for the life of me understand why.    Then it hit me, I really am happy I just don't know how good I have it untill I loose it forever.  When I become asimilated into americas work force and I will no longer have afternoons under the big shady tree, summers to lounge about, a philosophy club, and the joy of watching something beautiful come to flower.  All of that will be taken from you, and me and everyone, and once it's gone and you realize it's gone you to will realize that yeah you were happy then you just didn't realize it at thew time.    Of course this may all be a trmendouse amount of bullshit however it dose sound nice dosn't it?  Maby it is our reward for reaching old age or some such nonesence lite that.

Alright I'm sure I will get some e-mails for this one but I don't care I am very proud of the fluidity I spat out the folowing statement.  Sara was saying, "god is there a woman out there who isn't bitchy" and I said "yes it's called a man".  I got a high five from cory because of that statement and a dirty look from someone.  Oh well I don't care that was a very cool thing to say and now it's been imortalized.  Amen.

Hello there faithful reader...or are you?  Do you even excist, a few days ago I was talking to someone who also ran a web page.  It was the typical personal webpage fare, beautifly laid out, poetry, prose random thoughts stuff like that.    That night she told me she demolished the whole thing and it bothered me.   Her reason for doing so was that why bother haveing a web page if nobody reads them.  I told her I don't worry about such things because I have other reasons for maintaining my rotted kindom that is this web page, and I do.  Then suddenly I started to wonder, how would a new reader react to all of this.  Someone who just stumbled upon this page, through my roleplaying gateway or through one of the variouse web rings I used to belong to.  HOw would he react to all of this.  Well normaly people right away click on the fun with people section, which probley means I should up date it...so it goes.  Then after that they usually go to wizdom or fall for the help I can't hear the music joke.  I have never seen anybody go to the rant page in my presence.   I find this more amuseing than anything else I'm not sure why.   HOwever if you are someone new and you've taken the time to read this far than all I have to say to you is well done.  I'm not sure where this is all going but you know what it almost dosn't matter, after all who's gonna read it anyway.

rhRecenlty I was doing a project for skool, that involed us planning out the rest of our lives in a fairly detailed way.  One important part of the project is the fact that we have to find a place to live.  An apartment for starters then move on to bigger and better things like a house.  Anyway I decided I would like a studio apartment, the area of the house I most frequently live in isn't much bigger than a studio and I am most happy there.  I like to be in direct controll of my environment at all times.  That is a rant for a diffrent time however.  I observed that more often than not studio apartments are more expensive than one bed room apartments in the same comunity.   THis bothered me quite a bit, so I started to ask people.  The first person I asked was my dad, his answer was I don't know it dosn't make sence to me maby it's the location.  The second person I asked was my mom and she said people find it more exotic or desirable to live in a studio apartment because of all the images that it conjurs up with it.  The diffrence between the two answers?  One factored out human emotion and the other did not.  Never factor out human emotion.  

I'm happy to say I got another one.   Moveing on it's funny as I sit there in class happily writting away at what ever story has my mind occupied at the moment I here people say things about me and my writting.  Even though they have never read anything I have ever wrote they assume that one day I will become famouse, simply because I am always working at it.  These well intended words are such foolishness of such a great magnitude that I can not remain scilent on the matter anymore.   So I will speak to the uncareing masses, for they bring me such comfort.  I have no intension of getting published, ever.  I have no aspiration to see my name in a book with a story written underneath it.  I have no desire to have royalty cheques come in the mail at irregualr intervals.  I don't need or want any of that.   When I write I write for the sheer unadulterated joy of writeing.  I write not to become better or to look twords being published, I take no pride in the things I have written.  I write because it's fun.  My creative writting teacher Mrs. Foster Grant however was so utterly foucused on us getting published that she absolutly refused to let us alone about the matter.  She claimed that we were not writters untill we have been published.  What I'm about to say next is not what she ment but it is how it came out...the only satisfaction we should get in writting should be publication.   A very wize man once said never put your happyness in something so superficial as winning.  Let the very act of practiceing be the joy you get out of any activity.   When you get published and become a writter you win.    I however stake no joy in the act of winning because the act of writting it's self is pleaseing enough.  What's the point of publication?  Pride?   Satisfaction?   it's knowing that you won but I don't care about that anyway.   So no publication for me.  The other things that bug me about my surroundings is when people say that someday I will be famouse.  This isn't more so as annoying but distrubing because these people haven't gotten the important message that life has to give us.  Just because you work at something everyday, try your hardest and put forth your all dosn't gaurantee you anything.  Just because I write every day dosn't mean I will EVER be good at it.  Oh sure I will imporve, I may become more articulate, my stories more elaborate but that dosn't mean that I will eer achive something above medicorty.   Note my natural skill may start off so low that even a life time of work will net us little more than nothing.  We won't be rock stars, or beauty queens, or actresses just because we really want it.  You have to really want it and have talen.    I have neither so I doubt that my writtings will ever become published let alone famouse.  However if I had to choose to be published somewhere I would be published in Weird Tales, that would be pretty cool.  But that's not going to happen because I don't want it to so there.

Recently in creative writting we had to write something on pet peves...as I was typeing it up I said to myself now this is rant page material.  SO here it is...spell checked to boot!

Under most normal circumstances I am a calm non violent person. I am very slow to irritate let alone enrage but there are certain things that I can not and will not put up with at all. Over the course of my years on this earth I have encountered all matter of abrasive people and have been subjected to just about ever possible adolescent abuse and wise crack. I put up with it all with a kindly smile and a biting remark or two in return. This usually resolves everything quite nicely. However there are certain things that I just can not stand, one is when people read the things I’ve written without my express permission, and the other is when people decide it’s cute when they grab my leash.

If someone is aloud to read the words I vomit up when I sit down and write something productive they are a special person indeed. It is extremely rare that I let anybody read anything that I write. Just about every one knows I write, my little leather-bound book is proof of that, however hardly anyone knows what it is I’m writing about. Since they see me do it often they seem to assume that I’m good at it, all though for the life of my I can’t figure out why, the worst though is when they ask to read it. There are, with very few exceptions met with a flat out no. However this is not enough for some certain individuals, they need a more physical explanation of what the word no means. Last year in creative writing one such person almost learned that. I left to go read something a friend of mine had written, and when I returned I saw to my horror and rage that he was sitting in my seat avidly flipping though my writings. The words I was very upset could be used to describe my state of mind, however if you did you would be in the running for the understatement of the year award. However he and the entire class learned after that not to read my stuff without my permission.

Now that was just my warm up toss, everybody knows not to read my stuff without me saying so. However there is one thing that I really can not handle. But before I go into what exactly that is some explanation is necessary. After all I just can’t come out and say what I want to say it would shock people. Using the shock effect is another pet peeve of mine. One that I just realized at the time of this writing in fact so I will go into it briefly. Shocking your reader at inappropriate times is silly and a crutch used by people who are to unoriginal or stupid to actually used something worth while. People use the shock reaction because on their own they can not command enough respect to get anyone’s atensiuoin otherwise. So they resort to using crude brash unsophisticated methods in order to convey their point. However these methods usually produce such an adverse reaction amongst the people who’s attention you are trying to get a hold of that the original message is lost in the ensuring chaos. For your reading enjoyment I have provided you with a real life example of the type of behavior I have described above. We were in philosophy club, and once again we were without a topic of discussion. dan the vice president had something for us that was apparently interesting but none of us wanted to hear it for reasons that will become all to apparent in the next couple of sentences. Finally though as the minutes ticked by and everyone had arrived and waited anxiously we had no choice but to hear what Dan’s topic was. The first words out of his mouth were why Bush is no better than hitler (yes I know hitler is a proper none but he doesn’t deserve to be capitalized neither dose dan’s name for that matter). Thinking ,quickly I grabbed the paper from his hands and told him to shut up and sit down. It was like all his topics deliberately aimed to offend the reader but if you were willing to tilt your head to the left and squint just right there was a real topic in their. However usually the entire meeting is all of us squinting and no real discussion is going on, however I quickly did some squinting and everything went as smooth as it possibly could. Except some feeble minded individuals couldn’t seem to let go of hitler so I had to have them beaten. So it goes.

Now then back to the topic I meant to get to before I was distracted, yes I remember now. My friends and I are a unique bunch of people, Just about everything we do is abnormal, male female bonding is no exception. How when one day a pretty little girl that I happened to like put a noose around my neck and started to lead me around the school I found nothing odd in this. Neither did any of my friends. Of course while she was away I left the noose on as a testament to my devotion for her, but seeing something like that around someone’s neck all the sudden gives them the right to grab it and walk me. On top of that they also seem to think that they have the right to get mad after my fist has collided with the backs of their heads or some other convenient but painful spot. You see when a girl walks a guy that’s okay because, well in some strange way that most people don’t understand it’s sexual. So when a guy grabs another guys leash that is considered by me to be homosexual. While I believe that people have the right to go off and do what ever they want to each other in that regard I AM TO BE LEFT OUT OF IT. By grabbing my leash you are effectively bringing me into it and that will not be tolerated. Not only all of that, but when someone goes through the time to make a noose for you it’s a special thing much like giving a girl a ring. You wouldn’t like it if someone were to walk up to you two take off her ring and start wearing it without her permission would you? No of course not well it’s the same for things like that.

Well that’s about it for my pet peeves, none of them are to major or crippling, most simply stem from the lack of common decency upon other peoples parts. Oh well.

Just a few minuts ago I was talking to amanda, hi amanda! about my plans for this afternoon.  They include checking up on somethings on the internet, updateing this web page, doing some work on a couple of my stories, writting someone a note, and then makeing dinner.  To me this is the perfect way to start off the week, to come home from skool push everything aside and chill.  I have the whole rest of the week to do stuff in.  Monday is a day were I do what I can  but I don't let anything bother me to much.

Way back when in 11th grade and the beggining of tweleth we used to sing alot.  We would walk around and one of us would start singing a song then the rest of us would join in.  For the most part we all knew the words to all the songs worth singing and since napser was in it's hayday back then if we didn't know the words to the song that problem was always quickly remidied.  As I was cleaning up dinner I was listening to a mix cd of mine that had alot of the songs we all used to sing together.   I remeber one time I was walking to where all my friends were sitting and I heard them singing, I joined in long before I got to them so it looked like I just strolled in and just so happen to be singing the same song at the same time it was very cool.  I was just listening to that song and I realized that, that was the last time we all got together and sang that song.  In fact it was pretty much the last time we sang anything together.  That was to long ago...

Casablanca is billed as one of the best movies of all time.  2nd best acording to the AFI which isn't bad concidering that the first one is there because of the leap it made in cinematography.  No matter Casablanca is one of the few things in life that actually lives up to all the hype that surrounds it.  I was very suprised by this fact not only because it was good but it was amazeingly goood.    While it is billed as the greatest love story ever all the little things that went into it is what made it great.  The rich charecters and back drop, the biteing humor that would spring up unexpectedly and suprise you.  This is what makes the movie great that whole love thing can be taken or left I use that scene as the tea and bathroom break.  Anyway tonight I was thinking about that movie and I suddenly realized that if I could be anyone in that movie I would be Rick.  Even though he lost the woman he loved, he knew he had it always.  If we all could be so fortunate.   Also there is that line from an above song, Valentine by Shades Apart that goes we'll make our escape like the end of casablanca... that used to be one of my favorite lines in the song.   Take the girl I love and bundle her away from this reached place.  Then I realized that I would leave someone behind standing in the rain looking ruefuly at the fast disapearing plane.  I realized that that's me helping the rest of the world to escape...to be left behind.  So where ever it is I land I better get comfortable there I will be staying for awhile.

Recently I repaired my digital camera...aka I found it under my bed and the first thing I did was bring it to skool and try to take photos, none of which came out.  Afterwards I left it sitting by the computer, just now I was siting there starting at it and I realized that photography is such a beautiful art and I want to become proficient at it.  Photography is takeing a step outside of the real world and then capture us when we are at our best. 

In movies there is alot of sex, hell in just about every movie with an R rateing there is sex in one form or another.  There is actually a very good reason for this that I feel like going into now, so I will.  The reason why there is sex in movies is because it is a plot device and it's entertaining to watch.   You see in a movie there is a part where everything seems to be going pretty good for the charecters.  Or maby there is a part, and you need to have something happen to get to another part.  Inbetween the two parts you have a twilight area that you need to fill with something.  Americans with our notoriously short atension spans will quickly loose intrest if they aren't contantly barrarged by some sort of exciteing image.  So they toss in a sex scene so that  they will have something to watch in order to help bridge the gap between one action and the next.  This isn't true in ALL cases alright I know that.  But it is how it normaly goes.  Most times people watch the sex scene go hurr hurr hurr then forget about it shortly after the movie is over.   However there are some sex scenes in movies that defy this practis.    Some of them are made with the specific intion in mind to be memorable.   Not because it is arouseing but simply because it was amazeingly cool.  I have collected the three coolest sex scenes I have seen in movies.   Ironicly enough only one of the following scenes has ANY nudity in it what so ever.  With out further ado...

This movie is just increadble in general.  It is a movie that is all about sex and yet there isn't any nudity what so ever.  Every time I watch it I think of the poor horny guy that got it for Carmen Electra and how disapointed he must have been.  Yeah well this movie has numerous sex scens all of them amazeingly cool but the one that stands out most by far is when they were demonstrateing how condoms worked.  I've decided not to ruin excactly what happens because this movie isn't well know but trus me this is the most amazeing sex scene ever in any movie period.

Okay okay hands up who didn't see this one comeing.   Yes A Clockwork Orange brings up the third, with the speeded up threesome with classical music in the back ground you can not ever go wrong.

Today is the day where I will never have to enter a high skool class room ever again.  I have just finnished my last day of high skool ever.   I expected to be in a thoughtful mood as I stepped out of the doors of the school for the last time but in truth there were only three thoughts I had thourghout the day.    One I don't know which is wose that these were suppost to be the 4 best years of my life or that one day I will think they were.  Two high skool was really stupid, and three the underclass men still have a day of skool left...I think I show up on that day to.  I don't know what to say really I'm not happy or sad or confused or anything really.  I guess apathy would be the word you would use to describe it but...it's more of a general feeling of Oh was that it?  I mean I got all summer to say good bye so why be sad?  There is much time for that latter...when I'm dead.

Lydia.  Lydia is the name of a very special person.   She is the first person to discover my web page while doing a web search on something and tell me about it.  We had a wonderfuly long conversation together and I have every intension of keeping in touch with her.  She is special so here she will stay imortalized on this rant page for all time.  Her own little shrine.  She has a web page go look at it...then come back here.  http://www.idtsolutions.com/lydia/

Recently I got a bullwhip. Now whenever I say that to someone thier first reaction is usually why? I think I'll answer that now...because bull whips are amazeing. What I didn't realized however is just how amazeing bullwhips can be...not only are they fun to crack and they make you look indescribaly cool but they are also a fun filled family activty to boot. Yes yes there is a story behind this and guess what I'm gonna tell it to you. My mom, step dad and I were waiting in the parking lot of the cracker barrle the other week waiting for my dad to pick me up. I was just chilling in the car listening to music when my mom leaned in and said hey mike get out your bull whip I want to see it. I figgured okay that's cool so I got it out and showed her how to crack it. My mom is 5'2 inches with curly grey hair and that day she was wearing a cute little flower print dress. The 72' black leather bullwhip she was cracking was a stark contrast. Then my step dad decided he wanted to give it a shot (NOTE TO READER, I could have just as easly said he wanted to take a crack at it but I chose to avoid this increadbly lame pun for your enjoyment...thankyou the management). He had marginaly less sucess than my mom but it was still fun to watch...as where the faces of everybody in the passing cars I dunno I thought it was cute.

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