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People. (sigh.) When will we learn?
Her: peter i hate people
Me: me too
Me: if i were god, i would kill us all
Me: but then again, that's why I'm not god
Me: so what did people do now?
Her: just one person
Me: and what did they do?
Her: lied to me for 6 months
Her: sort of.
Me: about?
Her: everything mostly...just about the way they felt and crap. pretended to
care for 6 months and then admitted to giving a shit
Her: about it
Me: wait, admitted to not giving a shit?
Her: yeah
Me: rough
Me: do you want me to whoop their ass?
Her: yeah. but you cant
Me: why?
Her: because it wont do any good, they'll just feel better about hurting me
Me: no they wont, they'll be in pain, and won't know it's a result of hurting
you
Her: but realistically..you cant "whoop their ass"
Me: oh?
Me: okay, have it your way
Her: i never get anything my way. let me have this my way
Me: okay, it's yours
Her: this whole thing makes me so mad
Me: it should
Her: i hate people
Me: yea, they're assholes
Her: i cant get over people..im incapable of doing it..so im just gonna suffer
until i find something new to suffer from
Me: i was incapable of getting over things once
Her: so how do i do it
Me: um, give yourself time, and learn to get used to it
Me: i don't know, it just sort of happened
Her: id rather just never feel anything then be hurt
Me: "i cant take anymore pain. just no one talk to me ever again because
whatever you say next will destroy me"
Me: i said that once
Her: thats basically how i feel..only people talking to me is inevitable so
i might as well not wish for it
Me: yea, they talked to me too. it almost destroyed me, but here i am!
Her: i might not be so lucky..
Me: i shall pray for you
Her: or maybe ill just loose all feeling and go numb and then my life might
be perfect..or as close as it gets
Me: that happened to me, i feel a lot less than i used to
Me: everything got so painful, so i stopped feeling as much
Me: you build a wall around yourself, it's not the best thing ,but it works
Her: and its better to not feel as much?
Me: i don't know, i'd like to feel everything i used to, but i couldn't handle
that for very long. feeling things is painful. i think you have to find a happy
medium
Her: i got one more question before i have to go
Me: okay
Her: if you made someone feel the way you wanted them to feel and you got what you wanted..why was it painful?
Me: because it didn't work out
Her: what didnt work
Me: they were afraid of their feelings
Me: they loved me, i loved them, but they weren't ready to deal with loving
me, and so when i told them i loved them, they lied to me and said they didn't.
then once i got over them, they told me that they did love me, and i fell back
in love with them, even though they didn't want anything to come of it. it was
long and painful because nothign ever worked like it was supposed to
Her: nothing ever does. whats the point? you just set yourself up for let down
and failure. i dont get it
Me: becuase some day, maybe something won't fail
Me: and we have to try
Her: then i guess ill try. but when im 85 and nothing ever went my way..ill
probably want to beat you up
Her: i gotta go, 4 am tomorrow
Her: night
Me: you can beat me when your 85
Me: good night
Her signed off at 10:34:44 PM.