Anyway, back to the movie itself. It's probably because I'm not Japanese and therefore don't have the benefit of knowledge of their culture and stories that it thoroughly confuses me. At the same time, it seems to borrow from some famous Western writers like Lewis Carroll and Homer, so maybe I'm just stupid. I'll add that I watched the original Japanese version subtitled into English, rather than the American version dubbed by actors like James Marsden and veteran voice actor John Ratzenberger. Hey, has John actually appeared physically on-screen since Cheers?
The following plot synopsis and commentary is accompanied by home-made screenshots that I had to take manually with my digital camera, because the Print Screen function in Windows XP is totally fucked. This is why the vidcaps have giant flash glare spots in them, and not some incompetence on the part of the film's animators. Okay folks, on with the show!
The movie opens innocently enough, with a young girl (Chihiro) on her way to her new house. Her parents are much more excited about the move than she is; in fact, in all of his excitement, her father somehow manages to take a series of wrong turns and end up in the middle of the forest. Rather than turn back, he decides to barrel down the narrow, dirt path at top speed, assuring his wife and daughter that they'll be fine because the car has four-wheel drive. I can just imagine his mentality: "The fastest way out of the forest is to drive into the middle of it!"
They soon arrive at an abandoned amusement park. Yes, in the middle of the forest. This is where things start to get weird. For the same reason that people in horror movies always have to "go check", Chihiro's parents decide to go hang out in the abandoned amusement park for a while. It's too bad there weren't any G.I. Joe characters around to warn them about how dangerous that is, then turn to the camera and deliver a cheesy "Because knowing is half the battle!" accompanied by a big thumbs-up. Because not only would that have saved everyone a lot of trouble, but it also would have been really cool.
Chihiro's father, only moments after explaining how the park has been abandoned for over 40 years, smells some food and opines, "There might be a food stall still open!" Yes, I'm sure that for forty years some diligent employees have been cooking food every day in the hopes that someone will stumble across their hidden, abandoned amusement park and buy some over-priced funnel cakes.
It is here that Chihiro meets none other than Mia Wallace, the sultry wife of mob boss Marsellus Wallace and last date of the late Vincent Vega. What she's doing in an abandoned Japanese amusement park is anyone's guess, but what I'm more confused about is how they managed to secure the rights to the character from Quentin Tarantino. Anyway, here she is:
Mia informs Chihiro that in order to save her parents, she must acquire a job at the amusement park. Could this be a not-so-subtle hint to the lazy and overweight youth of Japan, who bring shame and disrespect to their families? I wouldn't doubt it.
Anyway, the heart of the park seems to be some giant pagoda inhabited by a variety of creatures, including frogs and a partially melted Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man wearing a loincloth. It is run by some old woman, to whom Chihiro goes to see about getting a job. In what I can only assume is a tribute to animated/live action films like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, the old woman (Yubaba) is played by a live action Angela Lansbury of Murder, She Wrote fame. I must commend the filmmakers, as she blends in with the animation seemlessly.
