Lyrics for songs
DONALD SUTHERLAND
Now I'm Donald Sutherland backing up Timothy Hutton to a best supporting oscar/
Robert Redford knows how to direct me because he's a fuckin actor/
Dirty Dozen I did before you were born getting wasted on a suicide raid/
Puppet Master can you blame me I need the work A Time to Kill I'm an alcoholic
My detractors say I'm past my prime
Guess what! It's donald sutherland time!
Son of bitch says I'm distinguished grey
Ooh! It's donald sutherland time/
Now I'm Donald Sutherland smoking pot with Peter Riegert and Karen Allen/
Check me out in backdraft or else you know that I'll show up and I'll burn down your house/
Bob DeNiro denies my parole good move because I'm a fuckin' psycho/
Don't talk about kiefer to me I don't watch 24 but I've heard it's good
Now I'm Donald Sutherland talking to kevin costner about JFK
Now I'm Donald Sutherland you know conspiracy's what I'm gonna say
Motherfuckers say I'm past my prime
Fuck that it's donald sutherland time
Motherfucker I am the frame!
It's sutherland time time time time time time time
Nine o'clock it's time to dance/ 9:15 it's time to dance/ 9:17 it's time to dance/ military time is time to dance/ 2200 time to dance/ watch the evening news its time to dance/ use your night minutes it's time to dance it's time to dance/ ten thirty ten fifty time to dance/ fix yourself a pizza bagel time to dance/ set the buzzer early it's time to dance it's time to dance/ 2330 time to dance/ just past midnight time to dance/ can't fall asleep time to dance/ close my eyes/ SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP/ 0630 time to dance/ alarm clock rings it's time to dance/ eat your rice chex time to dance it's time to dance/ 7:37 time to dance/ stuck in traffic time to dance/ 8 o'clock punch the clock time to dance it's time to dance/ 9:30 space out time to dance/ spill my coffee time to dance/ 12:00 lunch bell time to dance it's time to FUCKING dance! Afternoon flies by time to dance/ see it in your eyes it's time to dance/ crash the car coming home time to dance/ exchange information time to dance/ smash the radiator time to dance/ never watch the news again time to dance/ take a strange road trip time to dance/ wind up in the yukon time to dance/ say hello Tommy Bartlett time to dance/ fucked to death by robots time to dance/ drink hot chocolate time to dance/ destroy all monsters time to dance/ never wake up it's time to dance dance dance dance dance
WELCOME TO ERFF
We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. TODAY WE CELEBRATE OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!!! 1,2,3,4!
Bill Pullman's an All American/ In a jet fighter president I'll follow you anywhere/ Vivica Fox outrun the fireball get it to the tunnels overshadowed the cities/ White house is gonna have a rough day getting blown up to pieces Randy Quaid Jeff Goldblum knows ones and zeros he knows they'll use our satellites against us
Run away it's Independence Day don't run away/ Run away it's Independence Day starring Randy Quaid
WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF (Jeff Goldbum!) WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF (Brent Spiner!)
Fire the primary weapon in Area 51 says Robert Loggia/ Adam Baldwin says he's not afraid but I'm up there and out of missiles/ Dogfight in the sky, Will Smith's headed out to space with Jeff Goldblum/ Unlikely heroes but they'll get the girls save th kids and the interracial bonding
WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF (Will Smith!) WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF (ID4!) WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF WELCOME TO ERFF HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!
Take me to the city CITY!
Show me lots of titty TITTY!
Bitch you know what I want OH YEAH! OH YEAH!
Take me to the city and show me lots of titty cause it's what I want.
Cuantos anos tienes, chica pequena chica pequena?
Blame it on rio, chica pequena, chica pequena!
WOO!
Whoa!!! Whoa!!! WHHHHHHHOOOOAAAAA!!!
FIASCO!!! Fi-a-sco be-low! Fi-a-sco be-low!
Fiasco below the belt it's gonna cost you it's costing me too soon
Fiasco below the belt that's embarassing I am speechless again
All I ever wanted was a yacht on the south caribbean now that's dashed
All I ever asked for was a tasmanian bride spitting image a perfect match
Fiasco below fiasco below Fiasco below the belt is gonna cost you
Touch the printer cable to my nuts tell me everything is alright
Spread the ultrasound blue jelly on my baunch I know I won't sleep tonight
Fiasco below the belt is gonna cost you, I'm taking it in too soon
Fiasco below the belt that's not explainable I am Xerxes the great!
Touch the printer cable to my nuts tell me everything is alright
Spread the ultrasound blue jelly on my baunch you know you won't sleep tonight
Touch the printer cable... touch the printer cable...
Fiasco below the belt cost me everything.
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MARCH MADNESS
Place a call to John Wooden fast
Lew Alcindor is not coming back
I'm not a fan but I know the almanac's
PAC 10 point spreads have caused me heart attacks
So fill me out in your office pool
Picking upsets from the cubicles
Here's a tip and it's scary but true
This final four's got initials S/Q
Ed O'Bannon where are you today
Your brother Charles and you fade away
It's not the same at UCLA
Can't make transition to the NBA
Cinderella's hit the sweet sixteen
Triple double like an underage queen
Gonzaga's deep and Tarkanian dreams
While my mind explodes like Cleaves Mateen
So run me off in your xerox fast
My brackets will keep the ladies aghast
Spurrier's fun 'n gun era's passed
And the Jersey kids want to pump their own gas!
Ed O'Bannon where are you today
Your brother Charles and you fade away
It's not the same in the NBA
But fuck your Bruins and fuck LA
Come on, come on, ruin your orgasm (1000x)
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DISCOUNT HARRY
Turbo graffix 16 I will buy you again/ Sixteen bits it all I ever want in a friend/
Sega Saturn's out and T-G one-six is in/ Turbo Graffix 16 now your story won't end
Drive me Discount Harry's and I'll be your best friend
Turbo Graffix 16, now your story won't end
Turbo Graffix 16, oh I want to buy you again
Fuck you
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CANTERBURY TALES
The dark forest calls out my name/ Geoffrey Chaucer plays a sick little game/ I'll be gone for a while/ His lips are pursed in a calculating smile/ it's the Canterbury Tales and I know I'm going to stay/ Canterbury Tales will take my life away
WHOAAAAAAA CANTERBURY WHOA
That's what you get when you walk down the street with your Canterbury eyes and your Canterbury feet
WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CANTERBURY WHOAAAAA
That's what you see when it's strife versus life with your Canterbury heart and your Canterbury wife
Canterbury Tales your number's up/ Stay out of the cities and stay out of the sun/ The village will fall before the sun doth rise/ Washington state and a terrible surprise/ Canterbury Tales your number's up/ STAY OUT OF THE CITIES AND STAY OUT OF THE SUN!!!
WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAA CANTERBURY WHOAAAA
That's what you get when you walk down the street in the Canterbury snow and the Canterbury sleet
Adverse conditions, inclement weather/ tied to your heart like a string and a tether/ Canterbury's Tales your number's up/ Canterbury Canterbury Tales, this is not fun!/ Canterbury Tales your number's up/ Canterbury Tales have got me all caught up in a strange situation that I cannot ignore/ Canterbury slam the door on this log cabin deep in Geoffrey Chaucer's heart/ I am afraid and this is not art/ Canterbury Tales is a masterpiece work with a heart of steel and a foon and a spork/ Canterbury Tales your number's up/ Stay out of the cities and stay out of the sun!
Whoa, CANTERBURY WHOA/ Canterbury Tales, Canterbury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer and the Canterbury Tales
Canterbury Tales your Canterbury Tales, Manchester Tales and the Isle of Wales
Canterbury Tales your number's up! Stay out of cities stay out of sun/ Canterbury Tales I won't be ignored/ Lock me away and seal away the door/ Geoffrey Chaucer and the king's English/ I with the knife, my only wish to read Canterbury Tales one time more but I can't be sealed behind iron doors No! Canterbury No! WHOOOOOAAAAAAA CANTERBURY WHOAAA
That's what you get... when you read the Canterbury (that's what you get)
Canterbury Tales your number
Canterbury Tales your number
Canterbury Tales and a three girl rhumba
Canterbury Tales
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SNAKE PIT
Who was it you blew the whistle on Enron
They'll be upset but they'll get over it
Who was it you drew the picture of Mike's mom
He's been upset but he'll get over it
Tell me who was it you vetoed my laws in Trenton
I was upset but I've got one regret
And it's who was it you blew the whistle on worldcom
They're all upset and no one's over it!
I'll do whatever he says
He is Hernando Cortes
And I'm in lust with Inez
But I'm just short on finesse
And yes I care where you are
You are Simon Bolivar
The main conquistador star
But can you fix my car???
Who was playing Clue when I unveiled my invention, My weather machine will make it hail tonight
Few think it's true that your wrist to your elbow, measures your head I was raised by quadrupeds
Who was it you blew the whistle on Enron, they're all upset and they'll get over it
Tell me who was it you vetoed my laws in Trenton, We're all upset and no one's over it!
Who was it you, who was it you, level with me girlfriend tell Dentist F the truth
Who was it you, who was it you, I was just defied like expectation of S/Q
Cobras and rattlesnakes and cobras and garden snakes and cobras and watersnakes
(Fall into my pit of snakes!)
Who was it you blew the whistle on me whistle on me
Who was it you that blew up in my face
Who was it you blew the whistle on Dentist Fucker
Who was it you built this crazy pit of snakes?!
Fall into a pit of snakes
Build your own pit of snakes!
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EYES
From the corner of your cornea, Dentist F is onto ya
The iris of your eyes can't see pinoptocons and Jeremy
Bentham's on the prowl tonight, designing by the firelight
Foucault's thesis is flawed, but me I don't know why
From the recess of your retina, Titty Fight will get to ya
Your every single movement is being scrutinized!
Lasers cannot burn me, lasers cannot burn me, lasers cannot burn me off
I've got a stye in my eye
I've got some bad pink eye
I'm gonna give it to you
Because I blame you for...
From the seniors down in Florida, squinting in the blueblockers
You know your early bird special's in a house of lies
Corner of your cornea, Sugarquief is onto ya, your every single movement is seen with my eyes
Recess of your retina, BFC will get to ya, you know that I have you down and scrutizined
Corner of your cornea, Sugarquief is onto ya, everything you know is seen with MY EYES!!!!
Lasers cannot burn me, lasers cannot burn me, lasers cannot burn me off!!!!
I got a stye in my eye, I've got some bad pink eye, I'm gonna give it to you, because I blame you for
Gary and his eyes, a beautiful surprise, Gary and his eyes, a terrible surprise
Look up at the skies, your codes are compromised, too late your realize that I have got his eyes
Gary and his eyes, a beautiful surprise, Gary and his eyes, THEY ARE MINE!!!!
They are my eyes!
Rods and cones and eyes! Eyes!
Rods and cones and eyes, a terrible surprise
Look up at the skies, your codes are compromised, now you know your blind cause I have got his eyes
Gary and his eyes, a terrible surprise, Gary and his eyes, THEY ARE MINE
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BOSTON TEA PARTY
When I first arrived they made me fight the French and Indians on the same side
I was not afraid, I fought valiantly cause I believe in this experiment called the colonies
But they squeeze me so tight, it's not right and now I'm quartering
Tomorrow night maybe I'll be dead but tonight my business it with the king
NO! NO! NO!
SEND THAT TEA HOME!!!!
NO! NO!
SEND THAT TEA HOME
When my first son arrived I tried to make sure that he would not be subject to loyalist lies
Across the rising tide, the royals make decisions and they act like they own my life
The Stamp Act's too much, they know that it's unilateral and crippling
Let the Tories hear us, tonight the Sons of Liberty sing
NO! NO! NO!
SEND THAT TEA HOME!
NO! NO!
SEND THAT TEA OVER THE EDGE TO THE HISTORY BOOKS
KING GEORGE'D BE SMART TO TAKE ONE LOOK
SOMETHING'S GOING DOWN IN THE HARBOR TONIGHT
(BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE)
They think it's all about the military size
They think they'll break us when John Adams dies
There's something going down in the harbor tonight
Be there Be there Be there
NO! NO! NO! SEND THAT TEA HOME!
NO! NO!!!! SEND THAT TEA OVER THE EDGE TO THE HISTORY BOOKS
KING GEORGE'D BE SMART TO TAKE ONE LOOK
SOMETHING'S GOING DOWN IN THE HARBOR TONIGHT!
Be there!
When the Tea Act arrived I writhed and I tried to make sense of the fact that I cannot provide
We came to colonize but now our former homeland tries to crush us and it's time to fight
Tell the kids I love them, but I can't rest until we've finished this thing
Tomorrow night maybe I'll be dead but tonight they're all going to hear us singNO! NO! NO!!!
Send that tea HOME! NO!!! NO!!!!
Send that tea over the edge to the history books
King George'd wake up and take one look
Something's going down in the harbor tonight
Be there be there be there
NO! NO! NO! Send that tea HOME!!
NO!!!! NO!!!! SEND THAT TEA
Over the edge to the history books
King George wake up you filthy crook
Revolution's rising up in the harbor tonight
Be there, be there, be there....
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Bolt-neck! Congratulations! You got your very own administration!
Bolt-neck! What do ya know? You turned Pennsylvania Avenue to a freak show
President Frankenstein President Frankenstein President Frankenstein meets the white house!!!!!
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GET IN THE FRACAS
Get in the fracas drive to Fayetteville
Your friends won't come but you know I will
The wet-smoking poet and his elton-laced eyes
Mean absolutely nothing on I-95
The Rocky Mount ramp change your license plate tags
So you go unnoticed in your riches and your rags
Get in the fracas stop at Casey Jones
And you live with Utah so it becomes your home
Get in the fracas drive to Wyoming
The water main's busted and these zoners are king
The star-crossed highway and the dead blue sky
Make you swallow your tongue and then hysterically cry
Chugwater's closed so you drive through the night
And you blow all your claussen but you set things right
Get in the fracas stop at Stonewall's shrine
Cause the last batch of frowners in the glove box are mine
Get in the fracas drive to Anchorage
You gotta up the ante like Devoe Bel Biv
The instant satisfaction of a Bronson-addled high
Keeps you staring at the lasers and considering the lights
You eat a decent breakfast that you cannot even taste
when your left brain and gas pedal get entangled in a race
Get in the fracas drive to Robot World
Tell Tommy Bartlett's heirs we want H-R girls
So expatriate east and evaluate advice
Cause the last train to Diamond won't come around twice
Get in the fracas drive to Fayetteville
Your friends won't come but you know I will
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BASEBALL DAD
Keep your elbow out, shift your weight now, move the runner down
Get em up get em Michael
Turn it for me, six-four-three, conservative leads
You can do it now Michael
Give your best try, R-B-I, six inning tie
It's alright now Michael
Swing for contact, dream and laugh, the games loves you back
Get em up get em Michael
You can't understand it till you've been there yourself
You can't make a math equation when your kid is on deck
You just give all your support and tell him to have fun
Cause I'm tearing off faces and I'm slugging home runs
Whatsa matter Mike, language you don't like, I'll take away your bike
Whatcha think of that Michael
Dropping pop flies, lost it in the lights, feeling all the eyes
Watching you in the bleachers
Mental mistake, confidence break, rally-killing jake
Get em up get em Michael
Baserunner strand, fair weather man, baseball dad
Come on, come on Michael!
You can't understand it till you've been there yourself
You can't make a math equation when your kid is on deck
You just give all your support and tell him Mike have fun
Cause I'm tearing off faces and I'm slugging home runs
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GEOMETRY
You've got 2 congruent sides, you're isosceles, and you're not like me
Plot me on your x's and y's, you're isosceles, are you my frenemy?
Dimensions, base and height, half that up, just not right
You need more congruent sides, you're isosceles
Five by five I'm the same on all sides
And you know I would die to be your man
I would gladly lose one vertex
But I can't change what I am
I'm a rhombus
I'm a rhombus
I'm a rhombus (You fuck!) And you're isosceles
I'm a rhombus
I'm a rhombus
I'm a rhombus (You fuck!) And you're not like me!!!
Let's make it work anyway?
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WISDOM TEETH
They're coming out
They're coming out (I just want you to know)
Advised you'd better act right now
They're coming out (I just want you to know)
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SARASOTA
Who taught you baby to give me directions
You're so off base that it makes me cringe
I could've sworn there were two Honore Streets
We run the vodka table you let me win
Creeping through the streets of Sarasota all the day and all night, it's alright, we're not lost, we're not fine...
Who brought you baby down to Midnight Pass now
Race across the beaches out on Siesta Key
Having it honey with a sensuous bowling ball
South of the Border takes you farther from me
Sleeping through an alcohol and awkward silence kiss TITTY FIGHT!
1,2,3,4 1,2,3,4
Road trip one in four, the S/Q tour
Holed up at Der Dutchman and cross the signals more
Meet me Boston Market, not southern California
Who taught you baby to give me directions
You're so off base that it makes me cringe
I knew your vest made you suspect at first now
Golden yellow fleece baby LET ME IN!!!
I won't get over this anytime soon now
The road to Donald Sutherland was I-95
Stay in state at junior college totally practical
I'll be sure to look in on you from time to time
Creeping through the streets of Sarasota all the day, Creeping through the streets of Sarasota all the day TITTY FIGHT!!!
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GET DOWNSTAIRS
Dear Madam Curator I've got a grievance
You never let the dino exoskeletons dance
Dear Madame Curator, LISTEN TO ME
You got so many dino fossils let em go free
I'm not trying to cause trouble, just don't want a stampede
Because it's eighty first streets or it's nothing for me
Dear my constituents let's get it on
A multifaceted approach that starts with a song
They treat the public with kid gloves we're gonna grow up
And a twenty-ton T-Rex won't be close to enough!!
Fight Madame Curator! Controversy!
They got so many dino fossils let 'em go free
I'm not trying to cause trouble just don't want a stampede
Cause it's eighty fuckin' first street or nothing for me!
Pressure is building, it's not geology
Pressure is building, paleontology
Pressure is building, IT'S NOT GEOLOGY
Pressure is building, PALEONTOLOGY
A techtonic shift gonna bring them all back, we be standing in the center pteradactyl swoop attack
Take me down to Haddonfield, dig me up so carefully
We gonna put the fuckin' story back in natural history
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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REAPER
Slice up your eyes, peel skin and rind, everything everything comes back tonight
Water runs high, this ends tonight
MY TONGUE'S NOT IN CHEEK IT'S INSIDE YOUR MIND
Cerberus dies, Orpheus cries, darkness descends like a thick swarm of flies
Mistakes and fears, stay with you here, pitch blackness never seemed so crystal clear
Dead where you stand, death by command, volcanoes typhoons and castles of sand
Burned by the light, physics applied, tunnels and suspension bridges collidge
WHERE NINJAR GOES, NOBODY KNOWS
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MAN VS. PANDA
Extend your hand to a black and white creature
Often confused with koalas in my mind
Not eucalyptus that this one wants to be eating
He's only interested in watching you die!
(Oh no! I am toast!)
I'm in danger!
YOU'RE ENDANDERED!!!
Dangerslut, you were born in a manger??
Droplets of blood coarsing down my neck
How I wish the khaki hunter had left you in Tibet
Call me an ambulance, just call me dead
I'm another panda victim and I've lost it again
Buckets of blood pouring out my neck
I'm another panda victim tryin' to hold my guts in
I'M IN DANGER!!!! YOU'RE ENDANGERED!!!!
DANGERSLUT YOU WERE BORN IN A MANGER
I'M IN DANGER! YOU'RE ENDANGERED!!!!!!!
DANGERSLUT, CUT DOWN BY A STRANGER!!!!!!
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BAD SANTA
A man is a sexual being
A man is a sexual being
A man is a sexual being
That's some set of lips you got on you midget!!!!
Bear rage attack, rage attack, rage attack
Bear rage attack, rage attack, rage attack
Bad santa what the fuck!!!
Bear rage attack, RAGE ATTAAAAAACK!!!
All the December kids this year are gonna be straight out of luck
What they gonna do with Kriss Kringle, he don't give a fuck!!!
A man is a sexual being / Bad santa what the fuck?!
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ROY G BIV
I'd paint myself kumquat if that would change your chartreuse mind
I'd brave the yellow snow if I could mix in some red dye
I'll turn you shades of juice or squeeze myself dry pulpless dead
I'll stick you in the chamber to spend too long on the tanning bed
I'm orange, WHAT'S UP NOW
Submit to orange or suffer a life of frowns
When I call "pumpkin" you'll know, Dentist is home
Roy G Biv, Roy G Biv, CMYK, CMYK
Roy G Biv, Roy G Biv, CMYK, CMYK!!!!
I'm a county, I'm the clockwork of your dreams!
I'm the citrus in the sunshine state eating tangerines!
On Halloween!!!
