Worm Story 3: The Search for Nutter

Introduction by Worm Mad

Worm Story 3 was the first Worm Story that I started and was probably my favourite Worm Story of them all. The sci-fi setting and the inclusion of the CyberWorms added to the lunacy of the story and made for exciting reading. Many people have dubbed the Worm Stories as ‘fanfics’ but the quality and humour far surpasses the traditional rubbish generated by fans who make fanfics. This could be because the Worms series has no real story behind it and so fans are free to make the stories in an way they want but more likely because of the number of people contributing to the story making sure the style is consistently good. ‘Fanfics’? Maybe but I prefer the term ‘Communityfics’ as that are what they are – fiction made by the Worms community. If you have never read the following story then I won’t spoil it for you, sit down with a cup of your favourite drink and engage laughter mode to on as you read about the epic search that Jim and friends made in their search for Nutter.

The Story…

In deep space, the crew of the Starship Wormerprise are considering one big problem - "How will we find Nutter? After all Space is very big and there are a lot of places to look." Just then a great spaceship made of diamond whizzed past with a banner on it saying "It's David D!"

Everyone on the ship said "Who's David D, and what is he doing out here?" Confused they all followed the space ship for a couple of million miles to see where it was heading, they then realised it was filled with a load of teenagers heading to a nearby club.

Turning the ship around, they were soon in an asteroid field. "Steady as we go" cried Captain Jim.
"It's no use Captain. I just can't hold her!" yelled Worm Mad who was doing his best to pilot the rather awfully constructed spaceship.

All of a sudden someone on the ship, after being defeated badly by Paul.Power, decided to use Armageddon in a fit of sour grapes.

"Hahahahaha!" yelled Dr Bangh!, the leader of the WWP team sUpErWoRms! "You may have me nearly beaten, but I shall use Armageddon!"

He brought up a small icon from the Weapons menu, pressed the space bar on the computer next to him, and laughed in a rather insane way.

"hAhahHAhahahaHHAAA!"

Asteroids flew from all around, destroying parts of spaceship, and managing to wipe out the remaining sUpErWoRms, but leaving Paul.Power standing. As the Paul.Power worms celebrated their victory over sUpErWoRms (descendants of It's Dave D!, possessing the same bad gene), the hopelessly damaged spaceship limped its way to the nearest planet, the planet of Sally Army.

"We are now in another planet" said Jim. "The gravity here is too strong for us to allow us to escape from this crater (which was done after the spaceship’s collapse). Does anybody have a Low Gravity utility?"

Striker said, "I don't but will a jet pack with 100 fuel help?"

He said 'it might just work' so he tried it. They got out of the crater and then started to pull their spaceship out of it. When it was out they all got back into it.

All except Ed-it, the guy taking up the rear who nobody had ever heard of. He was dawdling around whistling, not helping the others at all. SnipperTheWorm poked him with his flashy arrow. He got angry and used a sheep to try to kill Snipper. Just when we though this meaningless story would come to an end, Paul.Power spotted a handy radar base. "We can search for Nutter on that!" he exclaimed.
"Good idea," said Jim, "keep it up and you may think of another."

So they headed towards the radar base and Paul.Power was almost hit by a Sniper Worm, which had been watching them since they landed. When they killed the Sniper, they discovered that he was a robot-like worm.

"Wow, CyberWorms!" said Paul.Power "I wonder if it's the right time to do some very interesting but totally impractical research into the habits of these bizarre creatures..."

Suddenly Ed-it was dragged off by another psychopathic cyberworm screaming. "Excellent" said Jim and they all continued to the radar base. Once inside they realised that the radar was broken due to a big sign reading, "radar is broken - sorry".

They were just about to return to the ship when the door flew open and a CyberSheep that spits fire appeared!
"Run away!" cried Jim.

However Paul.Power reached forward and flicked the Sheep's Off Switch. "What I'd really like to know is, why are these Cyberworms bothering to guard a radar base that doesn't work?" he asked the other authors.
"Because we want to... for the hell of it!" chorused the other authors.

Paul.Power scratched his head at the bizarre people. Anyway... they all went through the now opened door and searched the darkened interior.

There was very little inside other than an old misused control panel (covered in bits of old pot noodle and cake crumbs, with splatterings of Fosters all over it) in the corner. It was hard to see at first but they soon realised that should they use it they could try to find Nutter. But before they could, something completely and utterly unpredictable happened. The Master Panel lit up with loads of errors the altimeter just kept spinning and the Airspeed meter went to 999. It was a virus that a silly Cyberworm who had nothing to do had input decades ago!

But however he didn’t know this so he went to see if anyone could help.
"I did a totally unnecessary Outworld Computer career and I think I can handle this" said Plutonic.

The control-panel exploded in a burst of green light. When Jim came to he found himself tied to a giant purple bomb in a litttle room.

"I'm sorry about this" said a voice "but we're gonna blow you to smithereens!"
"Who are you?" asked Jim. The reply was "I am the almighty conqueror of the world", answered the voice, after that he showed up, and it was Dr. Spock from the Star Trek series. Just then a ticker came on one of the computer screens with the number "4:59 ... 4:58... 4:57..." Jim gulped, "Umm... what's that?" he started to sweat.

"That's to tell me when my egg is boiled. You're bomb wont blow up for another 15 posts" laughed Spock.
"I don't find that funny" said Jim. Jim was really fed up, this was the most annoying situation he'd been in yet. Then he had an idea to pass the time.

Jim called some of the authors, which included Paul.Power, Worm Mad and a few others. Jim squirmed to one of the computers and opened it up.
"What are you doing Jim?" FlipNautix asked coming from behind.
"Ahh... Solitaire..." Jim sighed happily as he dragged a card into a column.

On releasing the card he set off a chain reaction on the game, but the station being so old only had windows 3.1 and the system could not cope with such card movements. As the system started to lag Spock screamed as the entire system crashed to a hault shutting down all the surrounding cyber worms.

All the authors gaped and stared around at the sudden change in the room's light. It became pitch black and nothing was visible. The authors sweat dropped anime-style when they heard Jim in the distance yelling "DAMN! I WAS SO CLOSE!"

"Your Solitaire playing shenanigans could have got us all killed!" cried Worm Mad. "Oh, who cares. We've only got 12 posts left; we may as well go down in style! And and a one, two, three, four... (Singing) Oh we've had some laughs and we've had some cries. Where is that Nutter? That bomb was a surprise it is now dark, but we shall have no fear, we'll find a happy ending, for the end is now near..."

Suddenly, one of the navigators of the ship exclaimed "Hang on, the end is not near. We took a wrong turn a few light years ago, we should have gone left at the 5,356th star, not right."

Worm Mad pointed out that this is irrelevant as there is still a bomb on the planet which they are all on and which is still going to blow up in 9 posts. "On with the song" cries Worm Mad but there's only 8 posts left so Worm Mad added "We might as well make them good posts, or try to diffuse the bomb, movie style."

Some bright spark by the name of John nearby wondered that Nutter may have dynamite strapped to him, and when the planet exploded, it would take Nutter and everyone else with it. Striker said, “to hell with this!" and handed telporters to everybody, he then used his teleporter and where he went to, nobody knows!

"Hang on", said Jim... "We have 5 posts left and a bomb here right?"... Jim then turned around and walked out of the door and got back into the space ship and waited for the others to join him. The authors followed Jim onto the spaceship and sighed deeply.
"Is this where it all ends?" FlipNautix inquired.
"Not a chance..." Jim shook his head with a smirk. "I got a plan but I have to explain it in one post and we have to do it in 1 other or we are screwed."

Worm Mad ran in with a plate full of pizzas. "Get em while their hot, fresh from Cyberworm Pizzas!" he cried. Everyone rushed to get a slice as Jim yelled "THE PLAN!!! WHAT ABOUT THE PLAN???"
"Ow...these pizzas are made from metal! Let's go and complain!" growled Worm Mad and they all ran off leaving Jim alone in the spaceship.

And then "Beep Beep..... ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssss ssssssssss"

Jim cried out "Thank the concrete donkey, it was a dud!" then he went to join the party eating lots of pizza. When he got there, the party was in full swing. The cyborg worms had got some real pizzas for everybody and everyone was having fun - eating, singing, dancing, talking, drinking, playing Worms, etc.

The Cyborg-Worms were nice all along. It was just a couple of mad ones who had attacked earlier. After the party, it was time to leave the planet. Everybody said their goodbyes and exchanged some weaponry for a better future of defence. Jim squirmed to the authors and starting giving a speech...

"If we all gonna live in peace from now on as brothers, we shouldn't need the weapons, only to defend us against other un-friendly worms, then after all the bad worms see that they're evil, they will be good and then..."
"SHUT UP!!!" cried everyone else and they finally got into the spaceship and took off.

One of the authors thought of something. The author spoke his brilliant plan. But suddenly a tiny Spaceship Whizzed past, Jim decided to try and hail the ship. Then they discovered that the ship's pilot was the elusive member of team Super-Worms, Worm-Man.

Worm Mad said "this is going to be too confusing...his name is too similar to mine, we've gotta do something guys!"

Jim cried, "We have three options - option 1. Kill him, option 2. Run away from him, option 3. Ignore him and option 4. Ask him what he wants....and yes I realise that that was 4 options!".

They all put it to the vote and decided to go to a restaurant and discuss it over some good corned beef and a few pints of beer.

In the end, they decided to ask Worm-Man what he wanted.
"I would like to join the mission please" he said.
"Okay then," said Jim, "we're trying to find Nutter. Any ideas where to start?"
"You're in luck," he said, "I have just come from the resort planet Magrathea, where Nutter has a room"
"How on earth did he end up there? I thought the mole had captured him and stuck him on a spaceship," said Jim.
"Well, it's possible," replied Paul.Power, "I guess he's just bloody lucky. Anyway - setting co-ordinates for Magra-thingy..."

The pilot nodded and started punching in the coordinates. A beeping sound alerted and the pilot stammered, "Paul, we have a problem..."
"What is it?" Paul.Power scoffed.
"Umm... well there's no such place as Magra-Thingy."
"Well, Magrathea then..."

The pilot turned back to the computer board. He paused for a second and turned back, "Um... how do you spell that?"
"M-A-G-R-A-T-H-E-A", said Worm-Man, helpfully.
"M-A-G-R-A...?"
"... -T-H-E-A," finished Worm-Man.
"Right, got it," said the pilot. "Umm... now where's that enter button..." the pilot scratched his head.
"Are you new?" FlipNautix blinked curiously.
"Umm... well... you see..." the pilot began. "... There’s no enter key on this keyboard"

FlipNautix went over and scanned the board, "Hmm...." then he realized it was true, there was no enter. He turned and faced the crew, "Okay who did it!"
In the silence, everyone could see Worm Mad crunching on something.
"Hmm?" Worm Mad mumbled.
"How about Return?" asked Paul.Power.

The pilot went back to the keyboard and scanned it. "Ah, there is a return." The pilot pressed the return button, and soon the ship levitated and started hovering vigorously... But the Ship's engines suddenly stopped working.

FlipNautix growled, "Now what?!"
"We're losing fuel!" the pilot yelled. "The fuel tank seems to be leaking."
"What could possibly be going wrong?" FlipNautix ran down towards the engine room and approached the fuel tank. He stared and searched around seeing what could be the problem. Suddenly he found Worm Mad there, drinking some liquid in a metal bottle.

"Dammit Worm Mad! Stop eating and drinking everything!" FlipNautix commanded. "We're going to crash!"

Meanwhile, on the bridge...

" Oh F***," said Worm-man "by the way, what happened to Worm Mad?"

Paul.Power shrugged, "I saw him leave to the living quarters after he finished eating the enter key..." he started. "Then I never saw him again."

"Has anyone got an extra fuel tank?" Worm-Man said.
"An extra fuel tank?" Paul.Power repeated. "It's impossible to get a replacement fuel tank. What we really need are some new fuel cells."
"The only way we can get them is by landing on another planet for repairs. You must remember that the leak tells us that the fuel tank itself is damaged," another author explained. "Fuel cells, oh, well I just happen to have enough fuel cells to power my ship for a year, which will power your ship for at least 5 years."

One of the authors gave a look to Worm-Man, "So what are you impying?"
"You better think fast, this ship is losing altitude fast!" FlipNautix re-entered the scene. "I'm saying that the power cells that i have will power your ship for 5 years. By the Way where's Jim got to?"

Worm Mad cries "The parachutes! Everyone grab one and jump out and I wasn't eating all that stuff I was tasting it to check it hadn't been poisoned!"

So they all jumped out and they all started floating to the ground, each one bursting open their parachutes.
"Please don't let me die..." each one of them chanted.
When they landed, they were barraged by a native worm clan who cornered each of them with a dozen Indian worms armed with arrow spears.

But worm-Man whipped out his holy hand grenade and threw it at the Enemy Worms it went off with an extremely loud HALLELUGHAH, and all of them... LIVED! They have all seemed to go under some spiritual training to resist holy bombs.
"Oh yeah..." Jim took out a banana bomb, "See how you like THIS!" he threw it up, it set at 2 seconds. Then Jim grabbed a few authors near him and dragged them to cover.

But they still survived, but when the banana bomb hit, Worm-Man saw that when they were hit, The tips of their spears glowed red, so he shotgunned the spears in half, and threw his second holy hand grenade at them and they were all killed, and some of them even left behind donor cards.

"Wo0t! Good-going Worm-Man," Jim squirmed out from his shelter and went to the open for better space.
"Now what?" FlipNautix sighed.
"Collect the donor cards, of course. Look, there are enough teleporters in them for us all."
"... And where shall we teleport?" FlipNautix being extremely clueless.
"Worm-Man's ship of course!" Jim exclaimed.
"Who would've thought it'd be this hard to find Nutter..." Paul.Power grumbled.

Then in front of there eyes, striker teleported back! He said, “I’ve got bad news,nutter is being held prisoner on some unknown planet and is to be executed by shotgun in no more than 20 more posts!"
"That's ludicrous!" FlipNautix replied. "We have less than 20 posts left, and we don't even know where to look!"
"Stay calm, we'll find Nutter," Jim assured.
"Well we could start looking..."
"What you need is help from the rest of my team," Worm Man said "Their on Magrathea, their names are Marty, HMG3 and Bat Worm. Everyone, teleport to my ship, and then we'll find the rest of my team." Said Worm-Man.

So they did. Paul.Power said, "This is really getting out of hand. Can anyone remember why we were trying to find Nutter in the first place? Something about collecting a Double-Damage crate to defeat the Terrible Time Machine... we all must have eaten something strange that night."

But they had arrived at Magrathea, and HMG3 had come to greet them. Out of the blue, Fuch says "I like eating things.."

Worm Mad who had been suspiciously quiet recently suddenly burst out "I've got it! I know how to get Nutter back! Here's my plan:

"1. Three of us man the Magrathea's mini (explaining why only 3 can man it) scouting ship (Excalibur) which is very fast and has great navigation equipment then go looking for Nutter as it will be quicker. Next...

"2. When the crew of Excalibur find the correct planet we can send back the co-ordinates to Magrathea and the main spaceship can join it.

"3. While it's on its way, the Excalibur crew beam down to the planet's surface and hold off Nutter's execution until the rest of the crew can get to it and then they can ambush the enemy and we can save Nutter!".

Everybody agreed and Worm Mad boarded the Excalibur along with Paul.Power and Worm-Man. "Hey!" said Jim "I wanna go with you!"
"Calm down" said Worm Mad "If you go with us... Who will give us beer and dance when drunk?" "I see..."

The Excalibur crew took off, without a certain destination, knowing that Nutter’s life was in terrible danger. So Jim Started playing charades to pass the time...

Meanwhile on the Excalibur...
"Any sign of Nutter yet?" Worm Mad asked.
"No" said Paul.Power.
"Yes...Oh, I mean No!" said Worm-Man.

Paul.Power looked at Worm Mad who was reading a magazine and said "Why aren't you doing anything, Worm Mad?".
"I came up with the plan and um...well...er...O.K I'll help!" replied Worm Mad. Suddenly they all noticed something very strange on their monitors. A Giant block of ice, which turned out to be, once they had defrosted it, NUTTER!!!!!

"Nutter!,"exclaimed Worm Mad, "How did you get out here?"
"Where's Striker got to?" asked Worm-Man.

Nutter grinned "I'm guessing you'd like some help in defeating the evil time-machine, eh?" Worm Mad cried "Yeah that's right!"
"Well you'll have more than him to worry about when you get home...There's a worm named Yipee-Two Face and he means to kill you all!" he replied.

Worm Mad laughed, "Let's get Jim and everybody else then we head to Earth, guys! It's time for a war!"

THE END

Written by

Worm Mad, SnipperTheWorm, thomasp, Plutonic, manitou, Ireng, Striker, explodingsheep, Paul.Power, svenneundulat, FlipNautix, Worm-Man, fuch and wormania...

Return to Menu