Worm Story Y-II: Into the Plothole
Introduction by Worm Mad
Worm Story Y-II was probably the oddest Worm Story of them
all, being as it was, set inside a plothole. It leads on from the story begun
in Worm Story Y-I unlike Worm Story Y-III, which although it leads on, starts a
new story. Good fun!
Yipee Two-Face was falling and falling and falling. Around
him other things were falling, strange things. Cows, old friends, household
appliances all were falling down into the abyss. Yipee heard a voice and craned
his head to where it was coming from. What he saw was a small worm from worms 1
sitting on a sheep from worms 2 (twice
his size), the pixel worm said
"MMMMMMMMrrrrrraaaaaappppppp!" And disappeared
forever. Yipee saw Zipface, who was looking completely normal, but still the
colour of a stapler. "You can find some neat stuff in here, look at this,
I found a genuine copy of the very first Nintendo Power, with Mario's overalls
coloured wrong on the cover!"
"Whoa! How much do you suppose that thing will go
for?"
"I'll trade it to you for one of your books on world
domination!" grinned Zipface.
"Ok but I may need my World domination books"
exclaimed Yipee then realised they would be no good as he was in a plot hole
and there was no world here to conquer.
Just then Yipee noticed a pocket money counterfeiter
floating by, he grabbed it, and started making himself rich. He also notice a
thing stuck in the side of Zipface’s
head, it appeared to be a longbow arrow, but no ordinary longbow arrow. It was
the longbow arrow of all things completely pointless, he gasped and reached out
to pluck it from zipfaces head but as he reached The arrow, embodying all
things pointless, began to glow and produce a very upbeat trancy dance tune.
For some reason it seemed to fit the surroundings, so Yipee
decided to let it pass.
He looked off to his right, and saw nothing really he saw
pure refined nothing, He blinked and saw nothing again so he decided to
withdraw the pointless dance tune arrow from his teammate’s head in hopes that
he could make hundreds on it.
But, as he reaches for it, the plothole bottoms out and he
finds himself in a very dark, black area, resembling space itself. He's
standing perfectly still...on nothing. He looks around. Sure, the place looks
nice and all, but it's a long way from home. Suddenly, he notices a mysterious
purple mist ahead.
He watches intently, and then, a shadowy figure
emerges."Aaaaaah! It's Paul.Power!" They saw Paul.Power and he was
eating Johnson's Baby lotion pie.
“Okay, now how did you get in here and where do you keep getting all this pie?"
But before Paul.Power has time to answer a sheep falls on
him, blasting him out of the plot hole. Yipee looks for an exit but all he sees
is Zipface turning into a Johnson's Baby Lotion pie, and really big.
And at that point, for no reason whatsoever, the one and
only Zero plummets from above and lands next to Yipee. "YOU again?! I'm
getting tired of this. What are you doing down here anyway?!" demanded
Yipee. Zero looks around the place for a bit, and then, quite truthfully, says,
"I haven't a clue." He notices Zipface turning into a pie.
"What's up with the pie theme of these stories anyway?" Suddenly,
from the depths rings out an evil-sounding laugh.
"It's ThomasP!"
"No, it can't be. It's..."
dun-dun-dunnnnnn...
"SPADGE!"
"No! I AM THE CONCRETE DONKEY!!!! HEAR ME
HEE-HAW!" cried the Concrete Donkey. "Oh, sorry. You just looked a
bit Spadgelike for a moment. “What's going on, CD?" asked Yipee.
"Well, Your old friend - The Buffalo of Lies was a bit annoyed that you
stole his favourite sheep and being the moody git that he is, he decided to
create plot holes to envelop everything in the world except him and his sheep
so that they could live in peace forever more." explained the Concrete
Donkey.
"Hey!" growled Yipee "I never did business
with the Buffalo, you're thinking of Jim. I don't even believe in him...or you
for that matter." At this point the Concrete Donkey disappeared and in his
place appeared a rather disgruntled and somewhat confused Paul.Power. Zero
asks, "What are you doing here?"
Zero glances nervously over his shoulder- secondary
characters like himself seldom get to stand around the major characters for
very long, and he can sense that he's past due for something unfortunate and
painful. Which he most definitely is! his tail starts to shake as he looks up
slowly and spots SPADGE!...no wait... MAIL STRIKE! Zero turns and flees,
pursued by the fluttering envelopes, disappearing into the darkness for at
least a little while.
Again cleared of the distraction, Yipee turns back to Paul
for a response. "I'm here to tell you a story about a country that was
made of cheese. Yeah, yeah...you gotta believe!" Paul.Power sang.
"Why is everything so crazy down here?" exclaimed Yipee. "Only I
have the answers you seek!" said Worm Mad, who had just appeared behind
him. "Worm Mad, ol' buddy. You
gotta help me!" yelled Yipee. Worm Mad thought for a while then said
"I am the one!" Then to prove his skills he leaped high into the air,
wriggling as he went... and fell flat on his wormy little ass.
All of a sudden SWAT walks past them singing. They stare at
him as he strolls along, all instantly coming to the conclusion that he has
suffered partial amnesia and therefore has no relevance to the story.
Worm Mad leaped into the air again and disappeared. He
reappeared a few minutes later with a big bottle of fizzy pop and began to
drink from it. Yipee slapped Worm Mad and demanded, "What's going on?
Where did you just go?” Worm Mad replied "This may come as a bit of a
shock to you, Yipee but - none of this exists!" "Huh?" puzzled
Yipee. Worm Mad replied, "Only joking!”
"Phew!" exclaimed Yipee "You had me worried
for a minute there!"
Worm Mad then explained his plan of escape from the plot
hole to an interested Yipee. The plan was as follows...
THE PLAN: They would build a rocket made entirely out of
dried macaroni noodles, and an intercombustion engine.
Zipface had to trade his Nintendo power for one, so they got
to work. Paul.Power was baking Johnson's baby lotion pies for the lunch break,
and supervising otherwise. For glue, they used an entire bottle of napalm of
course, which they got by raiding the kitchen and for the boosters they used
flame throwers and for paint they used melted Velveeta, and they built a runway
out of potato paper.
They named their rocket, Macarocket and got ready to launch
it out of the plot hole. They needed a crew though so Yipee was the captain,
Worm Mad was the navigator, Paul.Power was the cook and the other members of
the
crew were Zipface as the lookout, Pickleworm (Who they just
happened to find) was the cargo Watcher-Overseer, and Zero Worm (Who came back
to steal the pocket counterfeiter) Was the only person who knew what gasoline
was (except Paul.Power, but he was too busy cooking), so he manned the fuel
tank. "Ready for takeoff?" Said Yipee "10, 9, 8, 7, 6,
5,4,3,2,1.....ZERO!!!"they then lifted off.
"Did you just call me?" asked Zero Worm.
"NO!" they chorused. The Macarocket began to approach the boundaries
of the Plot Hole, they were getting closer and closer. Soon they would be out.
Just then Pickleworm noticed that the cargo
had spontaneously combusted during the take off. they
decided to throw pickleworm on the fire to smother it as he was no use to them.
Pickleworm screamed in joy as he burned badly (but not dead yet) was picked up
and sold in the new store "Bob's burnt pickles"
Back at the ship the napalm glue has heated up so the crew
decides to use some of Paul.Power's now surprisingly famous Johnson's Baby
Lotion Pie to plug the gaps. However, that burst into flames too, so Worm Mad
handed out the Jet Packs.
They were going to have to fly the last bit with them.
Unfortunately there wasn't enough for all of the crew. They
drew lots and the loser was Yipee Two-Face. "Oh, thank you very
much," he said as the crew told him "you're welcome" and pushed
him out.
He jumped back onto the ship with a well-timed jump. Then
Yipee remembered he was still a bad guy despite trying to save the world on
occasion. Grinning evilly, he stole Worm Mad's Jetpack and blasted off on it.
He could hear his
former friend shouting at him though, "You'll pay for
this Yipee! I'll destroy you! I named you but one day, I'll come after you for
this and when I do...wherever you go on sea or on land, you'll never escape
from your ol' pal Worm
Mad." Yipee laughed at Worm Mad and continued his
ascent.
After a while, he accidentally flew out of the screen, he
was falling endlessly. "When will anything go right for me?" he
growled.
Suddenly, Yipee was scooped up by Zero, whose Jetpack was
still functioning. Yipee stammers, "Zero?! Why are you, of all people,
saving me?" Zero replies, "'cause I'm a good guy, and it's my job to
do good guy stuff." Then, the jetpack runs out of fuel. Zero lets Yipee
drop like a stone while using a Ninja Rope to attach himself to a floating
life-sized wax replica of Gundam
Deathscythe Hell Custom. Zero looks down and yells,
"Sorry! Only one Ninja Rope!"
Yipee mutters a curse under his breath and then decides, in
his few remainingmortal seconds, to eat a Johnson’s Baby Lotion pie. just then
Paul.Power noticed it's smell so he went back, but to eat the pie! "Hey,
what about me?" screamed Worm Mad. "You don't look like a JBL pie to
me!" he replied.
Just then, SupSuper showed up in a super sheep and saved
Worm Mad. He tried to reach the other wormers but the sheep accidentally ran
into Zero's Ninja Rope. It becomes dislodged from the floating wax Gundam
Deathscythe Hell Custom and tangles around one of the sheep's back legs. The
sheep bleats loudly and swerves around a little bit due to the mysterious extra
weight, but SupSuper, ever the SS expert, maintains control.
From behind him, he hears Zero yell "sorry!"
SupSuper tries not to be distracted from his mission, so he turns around to
pursue all of the victims of the macaroni shuttle explosion. However SWAT walks
past them singing. They stare at him as he strolls along, all instantly coming
to the conclusion that he has suffered partial amnesia and therefore has no
relevance to the story.
SupSuper continues flying his super sheep toward Yipee.
"Grab on Yipee!!!" he yelled.Yipee opens his eyes cautiously and sees
zero swinging towards him on a ninja rope attached to the sheep’s back leg.
Zero yells "HELP!!! I'm in a whole lot of trouble!" and smashes
through a wall, which has just materialised. Yipee can see the edge of
the plot hole not far above him so he climbs on Worm Mad's
shoulders and jumps up towards it and missed completely because the story is
not allowed to end so quickly, he was falling fast when he saw his only hope.
His last hope was a Worm named Zero dangling on a Ninja Rope
attached to the back leg of a Super Sheep. Just as he passes by, Yipee grabs
tightly onto Zero's tail. The sheep wobbles a little bit again. "What're
you doing, you madman?!" barked Zero,
"Can't you see we're unstable enough as it is?!"
Yipee merely replies, "I thought you were the good guy who does good guy
stuff." Zero can't come up with a response to this one, so he just looks
straight ahead. Then, SupSuper spies a big, giant, massive field of grass! The
super sheep decides to stop there for a break and for a well deserved snack,
even with SupSuper yelling at it. As the super sheep wasn't gonna get nowhere
until it finished eating, SupSuper decides to get Zero's rope off the back leg
of his sheep (called Sheepy, if you're interested). Just then he sees a giant
JBL pie coming towards them.
Suddenly something helicopter-like flies in front of it and
the pie disappears. When it turns around, Yipee and friends see that it is a
strange flying device being piloted by Worm Mad and Paul.Power (who is eating
the pie). "Hop in!" Worm Mad cries. Yipee, Zero and SupSuper all hop
in but Yipee is perplexed, "I thought you said you were going to kill me
if we ever met again." he says to Worm Mad. Worm Mad explains to him,
"I was going to but then I realised that this is a story so I can kill you
whenever I feel like it.” Yipee still doesn't understand it very well so he
just keeps quiet or he could say something stupid. during the voyage, they keep
seeing strange things inside the plothole, like lots of JHL pies (but not of
giant-size),an aqua sheep (not Sheepy, he's following the helicopter-thing and
he's a super sheep), Star Worms 2, the world being blown up, etc. They suddenly
realize that all (or most) of that stuff are their dreams.
The voyage would take about fourteen posts to get out of the
plothole in their new slower transport and the crew had to find ways to keep
busy and have fun so they practiced the art of Voodoo on Worm Mad and Yipee.
They played games like
'Shove this up your nose', 'This is my copy of Nintendo
power with Mario’s trousers coloured wrong on the cover' and 'grab that
counterfieter'. They also had a pie eating contest, but Paul.Power always won
and of course they counted sheep, until one fell on the copter but SupSuper
lured it away.
But it was during a round of 'What do you think Spadge is
doing now' when it struck Yipee. "Of course!" He said "It's so
simple! To make it go faster we can spam at every moment possible!"
Zero leans annoyingly over Pickleworm's shoulder. "Wow!
Is that the very first issue of Nintendo Power, with Mario's overalls coloured
wrong on the cover?! Dude! I'll trade it for this copy of issue 100. This is
the one with the top 100
Nintendo games ever (at the time,) and 100 of the best codes,
and 100 other things that equal 100, like the number of cans in that painting
of all the Campbell's Soup Cans. So, wanna trade? Huh? Huh?"
"No, thank you" says Pickleworm "I find the
poorly coloured overalls of Mario rather hypnotic." While this was
happening Paul.Power was playing on the Virtual Johnson’s Baby Lotion Pie
Simulator which was curiously the only onboard entertainment provided on the
ship except for an oddly shaped roller-skate. there was only one, but that’s ok
considering worms don’t have legs. Yipee jumped in the roller-skate and said,
"push me, zero!" zero gives him a shove which unfortunately sends him
flying through a window.
Yipee grabbed back on the ship and when he came back onboard
he found everybody playing on Worms 3! When they found out that was installed
too they all went to play it. Problem is, no1 was controlling the flying device
so the ship started ascending at an incredibally fast rate. When the crew
realised that it would have been quicker to leave the ship on its own, they
were annoyed.
They were more annoyed when Paul.Power disconnected the
Worms 3 Computer to play the Virtual Johnson’s Baby Lotion Pie Simulator one
last time. Yipee had had enough of Paul.Power's JBL Pie antics and decided to
Destroy all the Johnson's Baby Lotion in the world! But knowing there was only
6 posts left to reach the top, They had to do it faster, but how?
Yipee thought of a great idea to destroy it all. The only
thing he needed was an Anti-JBL pie and then if he cooked it well enough and
fed it to the person who liked JBL the most (Paul.Power) then all the JBL in
the world would disappear. The Anti-JBL pie ingredients were vinegar,
gelatinous substance, and a pie crust.
He had baked it, Paul.Power Reached down, Took a slice, and
then secret agent 00 Worm popped up!
"You'll never get away with your evil plan Yipee, for I
have taken the liberty to replace your vinegar with sulphuric acid. So the pie
won’t work!”
Yipee cursed his luck then remembered that Paul.Power was
about to eat the deadly pie. He turned round to see the edge of the plot hole
just one post away. Paul.Power had already eaten the entire pie. "April
Fools!" Said 00 worm. "So, It really was vinegar?" Said Zero
Worm. "Heck, no!" Said 00 worm "Just something with a higher PH.
Otherwise known as "...hydrochloric acid. "Yipee and company were
taken aback. "Really?!" 00 Worm replies, "No, I was kidding
again. It was pudding."
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" And with the 14 posts up,
they managed to get out of the plothole. Paul.Power was mad at Yipee for the
Pie thing... They thought they had finally gotten out of this, but in front of
them they saw none other than the Buffalo of Lies. He was huge, with horns as
big as houses and a stench that reeked of corruption. "What are you
doing?" growled the Anti-Donkey. Yipee tried to explain "We were,
umm, and, er, um, well, it's a city, we can visit it, can't we?" Said
Yipee.
Then they saw SWATmonkey walking by and they realised that
he had suffered Partial Amnesia and had no relevance to the story whatsoever.
The Buffalo of lies then Picked up Yipee and threw him
far............so far he landed on Pluto, Yippee then said(when he came to)
"That's awfully odd, how'd I get here? I'd put it down to the Buffalo of
Lies but I don't believe he exists." The Buffalo of Lies was furious by
this time and decided to go to Pluto so he could waste Yipee for not believing
he exists.
Meanwhile, Yipee was standing around on Pluto twiddling his
thumbs, when another plot-hole opened up. "Oh, damn!" said Yipee.
But instead, out of the plot hole stepped, Worm Mad,
Paul.Power, et al.
"Hi, Yipee," said Worm Mad, "Paul.Power
worked out how to use the plot holes as teleporters. He's made a device powered
by Johnson's Baby Lotion and..."
But just then, the Buffalo of Lies arrived.
"Here's Buffaly!" Grinned the Buffalo of Lies in a
psychopathic way. Everybody laughed at him. "I was trying to be
intimidating!" explained the Anti-Donkey. "Try harder!" everyone
shouted at him. The Buffalo was outraged, "I don't have to take this"
Said the buffalo as he picked up the Johnson's Baby Lotion teleporter, and
flung it as far as he could.
"Ow my toe!" Said the Buffalo. He used it, opening
up another plot hole, and sending everyone back in it. The woke up, finding
themselves in arnold land, but it was different.
The Arnolds were all crazy and kept on laughing here.
Suddenly a big monitor appeared in front of them and on it was the Angular
Wooden Giraffe. "Word up, my brothers!" he exclaimed "I am the
God of the Everyday guy and I am here to tell you why". "Why
what?" asked Yipee. "Well why you should all be rockin' like da
Ar-Nolds! Yo! Yo! Yo!" He put some upbeat music on, and everyone except
Yipee Started jammin'. Then the Monitor was intercepted by the buffalo. "I
will restore you to wormtropolis if you answer me these questions three.
Question one: In the original Worms, what is Boggy-B's fathers middle
name?" Yipee thought about this for a second and then said "That question doesn't make any sense
and YOU don't exist." "I DO! I DO! I DO!" whinged the Buffalo.
"YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!!!" screamed Yipee.
Suddenly they were all standing back in the real Worms
world. "That's all it took?" laughed Paul.Power, "We just had to
say he didn't exist and so had no power over us? Well, that's plum crazy! I
guess everything's back to normal then. "Almost but not quite" said
Yipee "One small thing is not back to normal and that is - we never fixed
the plot hole on Pluto!"
"Yeah we did!" said Paul.Power Said Paul.Power.
"Then, ummm... Zipface stole my favourite book on world domination! Get
him!" Said Yipee. "how? we don't have the slightest clue where he
is!" - said Worm Mad. "Maybe we do" - said Paul.Power -
"remember that he"-then Paul.Power was cut off when a giant plot hole
opened the size of the island about a mile away, but still it sucked everything
in it,(It seems every author is making an appearance in this story, I think I
will now too.)But then
Striker shot out of it and flew, and went into another plot
hole the size of a island in front of it, then he came out of the first one and
went into the second one again!and again!and again!and again!and
again!etc.etc.etc.
Zero, who has, for his own good, kept quiet, spots Striker
shooting in cycles through the plot holes. "Hey, that looks like
fun!" He jumps into the second plot hole, comes shooting out of the first,
into the second, out of the first, into the second, out of the first until he
knocks into Worm Mad and they both go skidding off down the nearby hill
screaming.
Yipee manages to get free too by jumping to the side. He
realises that these two new plotholes don't do anything except provide the
authors of the story with a lot of fun so he leaves them and walks back to
hishome.
But Yipee is still the bad guy and he's been playing Mr.Nice
Guy too long and as he walks home, a diabolical plan forms in his mind.
Written by
Worm Mad, phen, Pickleworm, Zero72, SupSuper, SWATmonkey,
Striker, Paul.Power, manitou,