Courage, a word so small, yet so great. An abstraction not always understood. A lot of people misled in their conception of it. Courage, it is not to be tough, or yet insensitive, but rather it is to be in touch with what is felt. It is to express, to reveal the depth and the authenticity or your heart. It is also to behave the way you feel you must, still admit when you are wrong, and face the rough times with a smile.
Courage is to feel. A lot of people, misled, think of courage as being tough, being disconnected from one's feelings. Still in reality, it is the opposite, for being insensitive is much easier than the contrary. Merely an escape, it is, from reality, for no human being could be totally insensitive. Only some hamper the ties, the ones that bind their heart to their brain. And for sure at times, the heart might seem to be taking all the space, and even to be making us vulnerable. It is then that we need courage the most, in order to maintain the ties which bind us to being human.
Courage is to be. It is to act in the way you feel is right, to be true always, no matter what the consequences might be. It is to ignore those who might put you down for being who you are, and if necessary, to face loneliness as well, and make the best of it. Courage is to resist the pressure to become someone that you are not, no matter what the price of this is.
Courage is to admit. It is to recognize it when you are wrong, and to accept to suffer the consequences of your mistakes, to resist the temptation of giving the responsibility of these to someone else. Being true does not mean that you should not change, or not accept ideas which are not yours, but rather that you should not do so simply because others do. One with courage will see if a new idea makes any sense to one or not, and then accept or reject it. Similarly, if your old convictions do not seem to make sense anymore, you need to be able to change them. Courage is to be not only humble, but also flexible, while remaining true to yourself.
Courage is to smile. It is to face the difficulties of life with a positive attitude. When facing a difficulty, one who has courage does not become down, or depressed, but rather sits down if one needs to, and thinks about the possible solutions. Only after will one act in order to solve the problem, or if necessary, to accommodate the difficulty. In such a situation, one with courage will resist the temptation to think, ‘oh, poor me, I have such bad luck…’ and rather will see as a challenge the difficult situation. From this, one with courage will learn and grow, while another will give up.
Once I loved a man who wanted me to be somebody else. Through fear and through force, he tried to convince me to become who I am not. But I didn’t want to be somebody else, I only wanted to be myself. And in spite of the fear, in spite of the force, I refused to transform myself; to become the ghost of someone else. I had thought, for a time, that for the rest of my life I would love him. Still in reality, it was a mistake which I had to accept, and leave before it was too late, before my heart, and my spirit, suffer death. Through this and after this, in spite of the pain that still remained, in touch with my feelings I tried to remain, without always succeeding. I could think that love is all pain, only pain, but that it can be good, I prefer to believe, and that it can be warm and true, and last a whole life through.
Courage is many things. It is to face life with positivism and dignity even when it is difficult, and to, along the way, remain true to yourself, even if others might not approve. After all, people you will always find to disapprove with you no matter what. A man like Nelson Mandela, a man who never gave up, who fought his whole life through, for the cause he believed in, could be a great example of courage.
Copyright©1998 by Hélène Carrier. All rights reserved.
