MIDI: "I Will Remember You"
My name is Cathy and I'm a victim of abuse. My first marriage began when I was 20 years old. I was too dumb and immature to not marry the guy. I tried to back out just before the wedding but he said he would track me down. I thought I HAD to marry him. My mom begged me not to a week before it came down. I thought a commitment was a commitment and went through with it. We never did get along. He was a victim from the vietnam war {a medic} and was a mess from a human standpoint. We were both nurses. We worked oposite shifts and when he didn't show up to take me home by midnight or 12:30, I had to call my father. He was an alcoholic. He left me on Christmas Eve to be with his buddies. I pretended everything was ok when his folks and my folks were there that night. As soon as they left he did too. On New Year's Eve we were at a party. At midnight I found him on the sofa sucking face with some other woman. The next day he threw me out of the house in the middle of a blizzard with no coat. He finally let me in and started to beat me. Then he threw me back out into the snow drifts. Before I froze {we were in the country and no help was available} he dragged me back into the house. I called my parents and in ten minutes I had packed my stuff into brown shopping bags and left his butt. We tried it again later on but he just couldn't cut it in this life. He got remarried 4 times, the last to a girl I had known in grade school. They had two little girls. He was in Japan after he reupped in the navy. He was drinking at a party and was crossing some railroad tracks with a friend of his when they were both hit by the train while on foot. I spent weeks consoling the grieving widow who was now a very rich woman all thanks to our government. Her family warned her that I was just after her money and not really interested in her well being at all. I said, Margaret, time will tell what kind of friend I am. And it did, the best there was in a time of trouble After I had left him I was depressed. I stayed at home with my parents and moped and only went
out when I had to work. One of the aides from the nursing home where I worked showed up on Friday night at my door with a couple of friend. They literally dragged me out of the house for some recreation. I had a good time. From then on I started to get better. I was an LPN and went to RN school. I got a job in a doctor's office and got out of the nursing home. In 1976 I met my present husband and married him a year to the day later. I always told my ex that one day booze would kill him, and it did. I asked him to stop drinking but he wouldn't of course. But guess what? He hasn't touched a drop since 1984.... but he did it the hard way....
Cathy
he died.
My name is Paula. I was with a man for five years that emotionally abused me. I became an alcoholic and tried to drink the pain away. He would tell me how useless I was and that he would not marry me until I bettered myself. I was to finish college and make more money and if I dared to flunk a class, he would leave me. I couldn't even stand the site of him but felt like that ws all I would ever have and tried to get use to it. Well, one night he left me in a restaurant because I refused to share a meal with him. When I hot home, he was asleep.... didnt even care if or how I might have gotten back. I snapped, and started packing my things and when I came across my very large heavy hairdryer..... I busted it over his head. He proceeded to beat the shit out of me. He strangled me until I passed out and then he blackened my eye and busted my lip. The following day when I awoke..... I took one look at myself and told im that I would be calling my Dad and brother and that he should get his affairs in order. As he bballed his brains out begging me to stay and swearing it would never happen again..... I got a boost of inner strength out of the blue and laughed at him. He told me that I was cold and I told him to enjoy his artwork.
Aftermath: I stayed out of that situation but have been unsuccessful in any prior. I am very untrusting and if the man acts in the slightest bit overbearing or insulting, I leave. I am still waiting to find that man that will treat me as I deserve and hope that I will not be too blinded by my past pain to see him.
Paula
My name is Susan and I am recovering from years of verbal and emotional abuse. I was well into my nursing career, when it dawned on me, "this isn't normal." Denial came to me fast, where I was doubting what I was thinking. Maybe its just me, I must have done something. I said to myself, " Your just too sensitive" or " He didnt really mean to say that." I was yelled at or cussed at almost daily and it just tore me down. I would just not say anything most of the time because it only made it worse. One day, after several days in a roll of really bad days, I snapped and said "Get Out." I had started my road to recovery, and it was a hard one. He didn't just sit back and say, " ok... here's your divorce." He fought me every step of the way. We had a custody battle, which tore my kids up. My 17y/o went off the deep end, my 11 y/o was acting out at school, and then, Depression hit me. Six months into the separation, I put myself and the kids into counceling. It took some time but it did wonders for us. Still, even me being a nurse, when I got there, the first thing I wanted to do was validate with the professionals that what I had been through during my marriage would be considered abuse. Of course it was!! I was told that many women of abuse are professional women like myself, who like me can't see it, denies it, or is ashamed to speak out. Many cases of verbal abuse are not known, there are no visable bruises to see. I am still being treated for depression but have come along way. I feel like I'm on the road to "recovery." I wouldn't have made it through without a good friend from work, She listened to me daily, sat and let me cry, took me to get help when I needed it the most, and stood by me the whole time. She knows who she is and Thank You. Also, my family once they knew about it was so angry. They were there for me and still are too this day. Verbal/Emotional/Physical Abuse mostly happens in the home, behind closed doors. To the public we were the perfect family. Just always remember, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. I have researched many many hours on Abuse. This includes Elder Abuse which to me is just as bad as child abuse. The Elderly like children can't take up for themselves. We have to do this for them.
Please,
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Susan/AutumnsAngel
Rev. 10/17/98
