The Test Results
Our Super-Duper, Top-Of-The-Line, fancy, State-of-the-Art computer system
has recorded all of your survey responses, and has determined the following about
your strength of faith within
[TOTF]:
In 1937, a great Guru
Mystic in the mountains of Tibet uttered this cryptic
prophecy:
"I-alaaan uskaalibaami yis-kaalian
husharakaaami ushalami ush-kai-haalaami i-rus ush-baan
kissaaamini."
Translated from Norwegian, this
means: "Bake in a 380°F oven for 37 minutes until tender,
or until tops are lightly golden, do not overbake!"
This did not seem to make any sense until it was realized
that the Guru was NOT speaking Norwegian. Translated
from the obscure Tibetan dialect he WAS speaking, it
means: "A chosen one will come to guide us, and will
lead us to prosperity and eternal peace under the rule
of the Mighty Gerbil Deities."
Our tests are
certain.
YOU are this chosen one!!
Don't you feel special??? :)
Well don't just sit there on yer butt, O Chosen One!
WE WANT PROSPERITY AND ETERNAL PEACE! Now.
C'mon. We're waiting...
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