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The Church of Gerbil of Canada

The Test Results

Our Super-Duper, Top-Of-The-Line, fancy, State-of-the-Art computer system has recorded all of your survey responses, and has determined the following about your strength of faith within [TOTF]:



In 1937, a great Guru Mystic in the mountains of Tibet uttered this cryptic prophecy:

"I-alaaan uskaalibaami yis-kaalian husharakaaami ushalami ush-kai-haalaami i-rus ush-baan kissaaamini."

Translated from Norwegian, this means: "Bake in a 380°F oven for 37 minutes until tender, or until tops are lightly golden, do not overbake!"

This did not seem to make any sense until it was realized that the Guru was NOT speaking Norwegian. Translated from the obscure Tibetan dialect he WAS speaking, it means: "A chosen one will come to guide us, and will lead us to prosperity and eternal peace under the rule of the Mighty Gerbil Deities."

Our tests are certain.

YOU are this chosen one!!

Don't you feel special??? :)

Well don't just sit there on yer butt, O Chosen One! WE WANT PROSPERITY AND ETERNAL PEACE! Now.

C'mon. We're waiting...




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