Huck's Helpful Links for Teachers

Social Studies

English, Literature & Language

• The English Server
• Repositories of Primary Sources

Arts

• Culturefinder has schedules for the performing arts around the U.S.

• National Endowment for the Arts

• World Wide Arts Resources

• NWHQ:Independent artists on the Web

• WebMuseum will take you to the virtual Louvre

• Art on the Net, an exhibit by 80 artists

• PBS Online

Reading

Thematic Units

Lesson Plans

Shareware and Freeware

Arkansas Dept. Of Education Resources

Dawson Education Service Cooperative Resources

Dawson Web Page

Dawson E-Mail

Just for Kids

Kid Search Engines

Yahooligans Netfind Lycos: Kids Xplore for Kids

Jokes and Humor

TEACHERS GET PAID TOO MUCH…

I’m fed up with teachers and their hefty salary guides! What we need here is a little perspective. If I had my way, I’d pay these teachers myself… I’d pay them babysiting wages. That’s right… instead of paying these outrageous taxes, I’d give them $3.00 an hour out of my own pocket. And I’m only going to pay them for five hours, not coffee breaks. That would be $15.00 a day. Each parent should pay $15.00 a day for these teachers to babysit their children. Even if they have more than one child, it’s still a lot cheaper than private day care.

Now how many children do they teach a day. Maybe twenty? That’s $15.00 x 20 = $300.00 a day. But remember, they only work 180 days a year! I’m not going to pay them for all those vacations. $300 x 180 = $54,000. (Just a minute, I think my calculator needs batteries.)

I know now you teachers will say, "What about those who have ten years’ experience and a Master’s degree?" Well, maybe (to be fair) they could get the minimum wage, and instead of just babysitting, they would read the kids a story. We can round that off to about $5.00 an our, times five hours, times 20 children. That’s $500.00 a day times 180 days. That’s $90,000…HUH? Wait a minute, let’s get a little perspective here. Babysitting wages are too good for those teachers. Did anyone see a salary guide around here???????

Author unknown (Printed in a Dallas newspaper)

YOU MIGHT BE AN EDUCATOR IF…

• You believe the staff room should have a valium salt lick..
• You find humor in other people’s stupidity.
• You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."
• You can tell it’s a full moon without ever looking outside.
• You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on the report card.
• You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
• When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
• Marking all "A’s" on the report card would make your life SOOO much simpler.
• When you mention "vegetables" you’re not talking about a food group.
• You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
• You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
• You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
• You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
• You’ve ever had your profession slammed by someone who would NEVER DREAM of doing your job.
• You can’t have children of your own because there is NO name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you hear it.
• Meeting a child’s parents INSTANTLY answers the question, "Why is this kid like this."

ANALOGIES (From the internet) Teachers’ choices of the worst analogies ever received through student essays.

1. "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t." 2. "McBride fell twelve stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup." 3. "From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and ‘Jeopardy’ comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30." 4. "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hairs after a sneeze." 5. "He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree." 6. "The hailstones bounced off the pavement like maggots thrown in hot grease." 7. "They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences like Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth." 8. "John and Cheryl had never met. They were like two humming birds that had also never met." 9. "The thunder was scary, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken back stage during the storm scene of a play." 10. "His thoughts were all confused and tangled up like underpants in a dryer without Cling-Free." 11. "The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

Search Engines

APSCN (Arkansas Public School Computer Network) Search

---

Enter your query below:

Other Search Engines

Type in your search, then hit the Go button.

Search Alta Vista	Search Excite!
Search Lycos	Search Yahoo!

Government

• Federal Information Exchange
• Statesearch, state-level information on a variety of topics
• The White House
• The House of Representatives
• The Senate
• GPO Access searches the Federal Register, U.S. Code, Congressional bills and other Government publications
• Thomas, the Library of Congress information service. Also try the experimental Web catalog
• Census Bureau home page and 1990 Census tables
• United Nations
• The European Journalism page
• Landings Comprehensive aviation site offers databases of plane registrations, service difficulty reports, pilot certifications
• Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press has links and information, including a fill-in-the-blanks Freedom of Information request
• Telecommunications information resources: social, economic, political

Politics

• NewPolitics, a nonpartisan collection of pointers
• All Politics from Time and CNN
• Congressional Quarterly's American Voter '96
• Federal Election Commission data on campaign contributions
• Political Points, also from The Times on the Web, has more political links

News Sources

Associated Press (AP) Newsfeeds

AP NATIONAL
AP WASHINGTON
AP WORLD
AP ONLINE
AP BREAKING


Search For AP Articles


Headline:
Date Range: Within 14 Days Within 13 Days Within 12 Days Within 11 Days Within 10 Days Within 9 Days Within 8 Days Within 7 Days Within 6 Days Within 5 Days Within 4 Days Within 3 Days Within 2 Days Within 1 Day
Any word(s) in article:


---

United Press International (UPI) Newsfeeds

Search for UPI Articles


---

---

Other News Sources

Reuters News Service

Cable News Network

P.R. News Wire

Visit My Sponsor

Angelfire Free Home Pages

Back to Sandy Huckabee's Page

Return to Sandy's Home Page

Teachers from the Arkadelphia School District are welcomed to e-mail questions. (However, no names please. Stipulations in the re-authorization of IDEA suggest that the school district will be liable for any information exchanged. Hypothetical questions are recommended.)

Email: Work E-Mail