Heather's HealingHeather's Healing
In 1987, at age 17 I came to the point I realized something was missing in my life, in my soul, in my mind. I knew it was God, and something I had no idea what until I called a church and spoke with it's pastor.
He led me to the Lord, meaning I accepted Jesus as my personal Savior. Admitting I was a sinner and could not save myself, and only through His death (He being sinless) can I spend eternity in Heaven.
Over the last 13 years I have had ups and downs in my faith, but always clinged to it, even when just my basic faith was all I had left.
I married my husband Scott in 1992, I was 22, he was 19, but a very mature and responsible 19. We had only known each other about three months, but i knew and he knew we were to be married.
In the first 2 years of our marriage I suffered three miscarriages, followed by a ceasing of my cycle and essentially pre-mature menopause. This was hard for us because we had always seen ourselves as having children.
I grew increasingly depressed and angry as time went buy. Fuelled in part by what amounted to attacks on my marriage and personally by acquaintances and "friends" over a period of a couple years.
In 1995 I started to feel very fatigued, in pain, depressed, almost tormented mentally alot, constantly stressed , incredibly angry, panicked, anti-social, really bad muscle weakness and pain, severe swelling in my legs and feet (so bad at one point a spot on my leg busted open and oozed for months leaving me with a permanent purple scar 2 inches wide and approx 4 inches long)
I was always angry at Scott, angry at my family, angry at everyone. I stopped attending church because it hurt too much physically and felt detached from people mentally and emotionally, and felt incredibly self conscious over my awkwardness, discomfort and increasing weight, plus i was putting my back out on a regular basis, developing cellulitus infections and my knees were so painful, swollen and damaged i could barely walk ten feet without sitting and THAT was extremely painful, plus i was diagnosed with arthritis which felt like it was raging 24/7. I also had gotten to over 500 pounds from not being active and eating unhealthily because I had no hope figured I was dying soon so I ate freely anything and everything with no care.
I remained like this until Fall of 2000, when things began to change...
It started with my doctor telling me to take a OTC supplement called glucosamine. The glucosamine ROCKED! My knees gradually began to feel better, i was walking a little more increasingly over time. But I was still very unhappy, having panic attacks regularly, withdrawn, in pain, swollen, terribly afraid of social contact, living in shame of myself, and clinging to my faith desperately but feeling like God could not hear me.
This went on and advanced more and more.
In February 2001 I finally said "ENOUGH!", I asked God to tell my doctor what was going to fix me. I went in his office and put it all out, my panic, depression, pain, problems, anger, fear and i asked for adipex because i was eating every 3 hours, i actually felt ravenous that often.
The doctor put me on paxil and adipex. I started the paxil that day and the adipex about 8 days later.
The paxil was like someone suddenly turned the lights on and I had been living in the dark for 30 years.
My mind was clear, i felt at peace, I no longer had panic, and physically i felt GOOD, i had a sudden burst to just get up and gogogogogogogogogogo! And i did, and I am, It started out slow and painful but, as I write this it is just six short weeks later, and I have regained the abilities and energies to a level I have not experienced in ten years.
As for the adipex and weight, I first weighed the day i started the adipex and had already begun to lose weight, most likely due to being a little more active thanks to the Glucosamine, I weighed 461 pounds. as of week 4 I had lost 28 pounds and am still losing, I am eating healthy, low fat meals and snacks, exercising, driving again after four years, doing errands, cleaning the house , involved in church again, and well.. gogogogogoing! *lol*
I have a diet journal I will link here and will be updating the info of my continued weight loss as it drops off as well as my feelings and thought and experiences.
The thing is, I am being healed, I knew all these years I would be healed I just KNEW and i knew it would be through medicine and not on demand when I asked God to do it. I had people question the sincerity of my faith in my prayers for healing many times and not want to hear what I had known would be the course God would take for my healing.
I know it is truly and only from Him. He has given me strength to lose weight after a life long battle with it and never ever having the motivation or ability to do it.
He has fixed what i have battled with in my mind my entire life as well .
God has made me whole again, I feel normal and stable for the first time in my life.
If God can heal me and help me, he can help anyone, because I was the most stubborn and pessimistic person you could imagine, But I still believed....and God never forgot me.
June 15th, 2001- It has been almost 4 months now, I still feel great mentally and have lost 62 pounds, i am almost as active as i was 12-13 years ago. The healing continues.....Praise God!
Click Here For My Diet Journal.
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