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In Memory
Of
Ruthie Linn Golden Hyer
3/9/22-12/9/83


Ruth the year she died.

Ruth was my grandmother, She was a kind, intellegent, loving woman with a lot of talent for making things via crocheting, she sold countless items hand made by her own hands, even had some of her own patterns featured in a national crafting magazine, and had annual sales at her home that people came from all over to buy her work.
She was a wonderful grandmother, mother and wife.
In 1983 her husband suffered a stroke, he needed constant care and she rose to the occasion and took care of him.
But what we did not know is she was very ill, she had known something was wrong for a long time, just how long I am not sure of, but did not seek medical treatment because she was both afraid and did not think they could afford it.
The fall of 1983 she finally told someone, and saw a doctor, by this time, it was too late.
She was in the hospital then sent home, we bought her a christmas tree, a huge one because she wanted one, it touched the ceiling of her 100+ year old home (the ceilings were very high), but she did not live to see Christmas, she had to be hospitalized again.
On the morning of December 9,1983 I was 13 years old, my mother woke me up early and said I was not going to school but we were going to see my grandmother. She had fallen in a coma that morning.
We all were around her bed for a while, how long I no longer remember now, and out of the blue she just gave up, let go, and died.
These were the days when breast cancer did not have the survival rate, detection or treatments it does now, it was somewhat taboo and was not spoken of much.I believe if my grandmother was alive in these days she would have survived.
She is my middle name name sake, "Linn", a common name spelled differently, my understanding is the spelling derives from the fact my great grandfather, Green Golden (no joke), was not the best speller and the 'i' instead of a 'y' is a result of that, but I like it it made both she and I unique, because i was named after her in that way I felt a a special connection with her, I was particularly close because I spent alot of time with her growing up, I had a single working mother, and i believe my grandmother is why I grew up to be more stable, level headed and able to sustain relationships well more than many children left to their own devices when their mother is in the situation mine was.
The legacy she left me is that of reverence for God, morality, kindness, creativity, love, strength,guts, and the spirit of giving. But she also left me the legacy of awareness of my body and changes in it, that genetics aren't always a sure bet dictating what you are at risk for (Ruth was the middle child of seven children. two of the living sisters were older) none of her sisters have had breast cancer and in fact have all lived to be very very old,all but one (the oldest who passed not that long ago) of her 4 sisters is still alive, her two brothers passed some time ago, they both had heartattacks, one drug and stressed induced, the other while saving his small grandson from drowning, the child survivied, he did not), for to move to get medical treatment or evaluation regardless of money or fear, In fact in the fall of 2000 I had my first mammogram at age 30, because i was aware of abnormalities in my breast, including pain so bad some days I could not sit up straight and could only cry. The mammogram came out fine, I merely had calcium deposits on one side and I had had an infection in the other that left scar tissue, and pain that was aggrivated by caffine, I was told to take 1000 i.u's of vitiman E daily for the pain and have not had any pain since.
Mammograms are NOT fun, infact they are rather painful and uncomfortable, not to mention a stranger is schleping your breast and contorting it in ways it was not intended to go,*lol*, but it is important to have them, and the pain, embarassment and discomfort is short lived. Much better than losing the breast completely or worse your life, leaving your parents with no daughter, your siblings with no sister, your husband with no wide and your children with no mother.
Self exam is your first line of defense. there is a world of info on the internet and available from your doctor on self exam. DO IT!

Squished but healthy,
Heather

Heather's Webpage

Breast Cancer Info

Click to donate mammograms

Great Story

A handsome, middle aged man walked quietly into the cafe and sat down. Before he ordered, he couldn't help but notice a group of younger men at the table next to him. It was obvious they were making fun of something about him, and it wasn't until he remembered he was wearing a small pink ribbon on the lapel of his suit that he became aware of what the joke was all about. 


The man brushed off the reaction as ignorance, but the smirks began to get to him. 



He looked one of the rude men square in the eye, placed his hand 
beneath the ribbon and asked, quizzically, "This?". 
With that the men all began to laugh out loud. The man he addressed said, as he fought back laughter, "Hey, sorry man, but we were just commenting on how pretty your little ribbon looks against your blue jacket!" 


The middle aged man calmly motioned for the joker to come over to his table, and invited him to sit down. As uncomfortable as he was, the guy obliged, not really sure why. In a soft voice, the middle aged man said, "I wear this ribbon to bring awareness about breast cancer. I wear it in my mother's honor." 


"Oh, sorry dude. She died of breast cancer?" 


"No, she didn't. She's alive and well. But her breasts nourished me as an infant, and were a soft resting place for my head when I was scared or lonely as a little boy. I'm very grateful for my mother's breasts, and her health." 


"Umm", the stranger replied, "yeah". 


"And I wear this ribbon to honor my wife", the middle aged man went on. 


"And she's okay, too?", the other guy asked 


"Oh, yes." "She's fine. Her breasts have been a great source of loving pleasure for both of us, and with them she nurtured and nourished our beautiful daughter 23 years ago. I am grateful for my wife's breasts, and for her health." 


"Uh huh. And I guess you wear it to honor your daughter, also?" 


"No. It's too late to honor my daughter by wearing it now. My daughter died of breast cancer one month ago. She thought she was too young to have 
breast cancer, so when she accidentally noticed a small lump, she ignored it. She thought that since it wasn't painful, it must not be anything to worry about." 


Shaken and ashamed, the now sober stranger said, "Oh, man, I'm so sorry mister". 


"So, in my daughter's memory, too, I proudly wear this little ribbon, which allows me the opportunity to enlighten others. Now, go home and talk 
to your wife and your daughters, your mother and your friends. And here . . ." The middle aged man reached in his pocket and handed the other man a little pink ribbon. The guy looked at it, slowly raised his head and asked, "Can ya help me put it on?"