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Apple Turnovers

Katie Horan
Yes, we are sorry. Very sorry. In fact, we are so sorry that we even went to the trouble of making this web page to say that we are sorry. The Fish Page Management would like to issue this formal apology to Katie Horan for the false accusations made on this page that she cheats on her English tests, and the repeated use of the words "hardened criminal" in association with her name. We also apologize for saying that she frequently beats her sister, Lisa. Everyone knows that she only occasionaly beats up Lisa. After having said this, we must now seek a new theory to explain Lisa's impulsive behavior and what might cause her to mascarade as the imposter. As I looked over the notes I made recently on this case, I came across a conversation we'd had while she was still the Imposter. We'd been talking for a while, when out of nowhere she says:

"Hey, I just found a piece of paper that says:
80% fat in PB unsaturated, so versatile, good tasting, and nutritious, included in many medically endorsed weight loss and diabetic diets."

Originally, i just passed over this cry for help without a second thought. However, when reviewing the case for a second time, the weight of that statement hit me with full force! The key to Lisa's obsessive compulsive behavior was her parrallel obsession for food labels! It was this horrible fettish of hers that was behind each entry of her Impostership! Here's an example:

the imposter   08/Mar/1999:16:43:24
what are you talking about?????? what is "the place on friday night"?
this must be some atempt to confuse me and eventually trapp me and
force me to reveal my true identity. it will not work. i will never
submit.
 


I think it's pretty obvious how this twisted psychological defect was affecting her outlook. She had become paranoid. It is sad.

Tune in to the next part of the imposter series, entitled Communism Stinks!

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