A Typical Day

A typical daiy? Are ya reelly interesed in the typical daiy o’ a ‘ousecat like me? Well, even if ya ain’t, yer gonna ‘ear it anywaiy.
Ai suppo’ Ai shoul’ tell ya ‘ho Ai am. My naime is Rumpleteaza, bu’ me family calls me “tha’ ‘orrible cat”. Ai live in Veectoria Grove wit’ me brother, Mungojerrie. Wee’re the notorious duo o’ Veectoria Grove, bu’ tha’s only our cen’er o’ operaition. Wee’re very well known in Cornwall Gahdens, Lonston Plaice, an’ Kensington Square. We ‘ave quaite a reputaition, prolly more’an a couple o’ cats can very well bear.
Me brother an’ Ai are plausible fellows, an’ we ofen engaige a policeman in conversaition. Bu’ our major ‘obby is thievery. Some maiy saiy it’s our job, bu’ it’s reelly more o’ an intense ‘obby. Our specialty is destruction.
Wella now, yous looks like you’s eyein’ me pearls, you are. Ai suppose you’s wonderin’ where Ai got’em. Welladay, les jes saiy the Li’le Missus warn’t pleased when she foun’ ‘er Woolworth pearls gone amissin’ one daiy afer Jerrie swiped an Argentine joint from the keetchen. Me pearls are me faivorite thing Ai’ve swiped. An’ boy, ‘ave Ai swiped stuff. Well, Jerrie do more’an Ai do, bu’ we’s a team, an’ ‘e an’ Ai love doin’ our ‘obby.
Me an’ Jerrie is reel close. Some people thinks we’s mates, bu’ we’s reelly bro and sis. Bu’ we’s also bes’ friens and pahtners in crime. Ai gess you coulds saiy wee’re inseprable. Jerrie woul’ never le’ anyone ‘urt me, an’ Ai trus’ him. ‘E protects me fro’ Macavity an’ the straiys. He ain’t reel braive, bu’ nither am Ai. ‘E an’ Ai git along though.
Well, on to me typical daiy. A typical daiy wit’ me woul’ prolly be like dis. Me an’ Jerrie, we mosly run errans fer Macavity; a’ least, Jerrie do. Ai don’ always because Ai don’ like Macavity all tha’ much. Bu’ we ofen spen’ time a’ the Jellicle Junkyar’, and Ai ‘angs ou’ wit’ Ecetra, Electra, Jemimah, an’ Veectoria. We’s all pallies, an’ it’s fun. Munkustrap usully gives us a lecture ‘bout Macavity an’ the evils o’ stealin’, but we’s learned ta tune ‘im ou’. Sometimes Jerrie an’ me go ta London an’ swipe stuff like jewelry, delicacies, an’ other things we maiy wan’. We actually ‘ave qui’ a haul ev’ry daiy. The’ we goes ‘ome an’ divvy up. Sometimes we goes through the ‘ouse an’ breaiks stuff, or disrup the be’rooms. We gots the mos’ attention whe’ we broke the Ming vaise dow’ in the library.
Welly, Jerrie’s callin’ me ta bed now, bu’ tha’s okaiy, cause ‘e’s very protective o’ me, so Ai obey ‘im. ‘Sides, we ‘ave another daiy tamarro’. Well, nighty-nigh’, Jellicle buddies. Tamarro’ is another daiy fille’ wit’ Ming vaises, Argentine joints, Pekes, Pollicles, Jellicles, and lotso mischief fro’ us.
>^..^<
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