This den is one for a little self examination. You are in Chat to fill some personal need for communications with other people. Excite Chat is a wonderful way to meet people and to communicate your ideas and ideals.
It is not a good place for romance. If you make yourself the main character in a harlequin novel you will find there are plenty of other people willing to play the roles of your other characters. Many people play a romantic role playing game here, a game that they don't even realize they are playing, 'sometimes'. Are you casting others in roles, or are you being placed in a role, and expected to respond to the game? Romance is not a harmless game, here or in real life, you play with your own emotions, and create heartache, where you might have had friends.
You feel safe at home in front of your computer, and you completely forget you are totaly open emotionally and intellectualy when you are on line. Openess is a necessity when you are here, you could not communicate well without it. Your psychic centers open somewhat and you read between the lines.
We write here in a kind of shorthand, and use incomplete sentences. You may believe, you understand or are understood, but can you really be sure here. It is hard enough in RL to talk and get the point across, and we often go to great lengths to clear up a point. But here we shorten our comments, and rely on intuition.
Its a limited faculty at best, in real life you have many clues to the meaning of a persons comments, the tone and inflection of the words, the body posture and gestures, and facial expressions. All the clues you rely upon in personal communications are gone here.
We are all basicly honest and trusting people and are all very much the same. I truly believe it is only the one/percent of us that makes us different. That percent is the degree of our qualitys - how much we are positive or negative.
Your own basic belief in others - opens you to the people you meet here. You find yourself attached and careing for them. All too often you make the relationship more than it can ever be. Do you say I love you - to lightly and respond to quickly to those who say that to you?
Doesn't "I Love You", have a deeper meaning to you than you can really find here? Do you fall in love with the characters, in the books that you read? Love for another is not simply based on how they think and write, you are attracted and repulsed by the odor/scent, mannerisms, build, body language, looks, figure, dress, sound of the voice -- Oh this list can go on and on -- there are so many reasons to be attracted and replused by someone.
In life you know that you could like some one if they would only change that one thing about themselfs - But that one thing makes you hate to be around them.
If you will set back and think as clearly as possible you know these things are true. Yes you can love a person you meet here, but its not the Love you are searching for. You want more. These computer relationships cannot fullfill your real desires, and they encourage you to believe a fantasy - a dream - that cannot be made real.
If you look at all of us who spend much time here, ask your self what are we filling or replacing in this abstract computer world. We are all in some way empty and find some satisfaction and fulfillment in chatting with others.
For our own sakes realize and accept chat for what it is, and turn the experience into a positive one, not a self destructive one.
Thank you for your visit, this page is the result of meeting so many distressed individuals here in VP. I have tried to summarize a few of the comments and advice I have given over the past 6 years.
