Japanese Lyrics/music, written and sung by a wonderful Japanese man named Watasan. Words/Music by Watasan, (English words by Dee Miller)
Copyright(c)1998 Watasan
Unconditional Love
It was in 1987 I thought the world had come crushing down on me, so to speak, thats when I found out that my kids had Muscular Dystrophy. We were not attending church at this time and all I could think of was why my kids. What did I do to deserve my kids to have this horrible uncurable disease????
At that time, there was no faith and God was on the back burner of our entire family's life. My first thought was that my children would die before me and how could a mother loose their children. That was unthinkable. And at that time I didn't think about God and what He must of gone through when His Son was beaten and crucified on the cross and had to watch the whole thing and do nothing, until Jesus was raised from the dead.
WHAT LOVE HE HAD FOR US!!
Unconditional love!!!! That is what I have for my children and I think all mothers have this for their children, no matter if they are well or ill.
I went to doctors upon doctors with both of my children without much help from my husband because he had to work and also he could not and would not ever accept what his children had. It just would hurt him to much and he was still in denial. I was at the angry stage.
My daughter had to have surgeries on both her feet to try to correct them, but it was unsuccessful. Both my children had to have special braces made for them to walk and try to balance themselves while they walked. To no avail did any of these things work.
We spent most of out time in New Orleans for the help that they needed. I would continue on for more research and any possible help I could find for them just so they could continue to walk and fit in this cruel world.
In the year of 1993 my son had to go into a wheelchair due to the fact that he would fall everywhere's. Nothing was helping him anymore. I was so devastated. But it had to be done. In that same year my daughter had to be put in a wheelchair also. The reason for this was because she was pregnant and was starting to fall more and more also. The pregnancy deteriorated her muscles even faster.
Now I was taking care of my 2 children without any help and the reason I am saying that is because God was no longer a part of my life, I had left Him so far out of the picture and thought I could do it all. WELL WRONG!!
I had a nervous breakdown right after my daughter had her baby and stayed in a mental institution for one week. My husband refused for me to stay any longer because he couldn't handle the kids. Well as you would know I got out with the doctors disapproval. He knew that I was not better to take on the responsibility of handling 2 children in wheelchairs and a newborn. But I did it for my childrens sake.
My youngest daughter got married, to a child molester, which at that time we did not know. He molested her 2 yr old daughter and I was the only one that my grand daughter would tell. My daughter didn't believe her on daughter, so I had to take over and do what had to be done. Fight for my grand daughters rights and try to make my daughter see what he had done. But she couldn't see pass anything I would say and only would listen to her husband.
Well at that time instead of going to God with this problem, I went to gambling. What a life!! That was my SAVOUR!! and not our Lord. How sad now that I look back. But you see God has that unconditional love and so did I. I work on my daughter so hard on what she had done in turning her back on her on flesh and blood that after a few more months she finally left him and got her divorce. Praise God!! But I was heavy into gambling by this time and only my daughter knew about this. My husband didn't even know. Our daughter and her 3 kids lived with us because she could not take care of them by herself, so we let her stay.
There were very big problems within the household with her and her children. I couldn't take much more of all that she was demading on me and wanted her to move out. Now there was a draw back in me making her move out of my house. Let me tell you why I wanted to do this. Michelle, my daughter, was very demanding and wanted everything done for her and she would not even try to help herself with anything. You know why I did what she said was because she knew I was a heavy gambler and my husband still didn't know this and she would hold this over my head, so that was why I couldn't throw her out. I was so tired and mentally exhaused that I would just give in to her. Now don't get me wrong I love my daughter with all of my heart and would still do anything for her but within my own terms NOW.
My husband had lost his job and he thought that we had some money saved up, but you guessed it. NONE was right. We were about to lose everything that we had and I knew it but he didn't. I was hanging by a thread. Well, all this time God had been working on me because I would sneak in a prayer or 2 here and there for Him to help. Something was nagging at me and finally I just couldn't take anymore of Michelle holding everything she knew about me in anymore.
God had really pushed me right were he wanted me to be and that was to be honest with Him and to be honest with my husband. I can remember that day so well. It was last year in August. I was talking to my mother and I told her that I had to tell my husband something and that he might leave me for it and then I was crying at that point. You see she didn't even know but had suspicions.
Before I hung up she talked to George and then I told him everything about the gambling, no money and what Michelle had done to me. Well as you know, George is still here, Praise God!! Thats when I knew that the Lord was really working on.
My oldest daughter called and told me that she thought that she was going to have the baby sooner than she thought and I needed to get up there now. Remember NO MONEY. I told her that we would be up there no later than by the end of the week. Well I guess you know the Lord came throught for us again. We ask my daughter if we could move with her for about 2 weeks until her dad would get his job in Texas and she said sure. We were out of there in 3 days and with money in our pockets. Not much just enough for us to survive. And that was all we needed.
I truly believe that God wanted us here so we could find Him again and get right with God. We found a wonderful church here and are able to tithe. That was something that we would and could not do. I have been PRAISING THE LORD ever since. God has given us more blessings than I would ever imagine a person like me could have and that is because of His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE that He has for His children.
Any time you will go through what I did for my children, to a point, I had and still have unconditional love for them and would move Heaven and Earth for them if they would ask.
PRAISE THE LORD HE IS MY RISEN SAVIOUR AND I LOVE HIM SO. THANK YOU JESUS FOR BRINGING ME BACK INTO YOU FOLD. I ONCE WAS LOST BUT KNOW I AM FOUND AGAIN. He didn't give up on me!!
Tsuyoku naritakatta. Yowasa sutetakatta. Soshite yasasisa saemo oki wasurete kita. Futto kigatsukeba jibunno naka ni nani mo nakatta. Sono mama de iiyo, sono mama de iiyo. Yasashiku Shu wa katari kakeru. Sono mama de iiyo, sono mama de iiyo. Shu ni me o mukerunara Shu no mite wa watashi no yowasa ni hataraku.
Lord, I yearned my life to be stronger Tried to hide my weakness away, inside Then the tenderness that I once had shown Was gone, that part of me had died Suddenly, I realized the emptiness inside of me, Through my tears, I heard You say.... "I will accept you, as you are Yes, I accept you, as you are" I looked to see, God's gentle hand reach out to me "I will accept you, as you are Yes, I accept you, as you are Leave your past behind, no price to pay Put your hand in mine, I'll lead your way, I accept you now, just as you are."
REJECTION
Muscular Dystrophy does not only affect their health, but also affects their personal life. Anyone that has any type of disability knows what rejection can mean to their mentality. But there is one person that we can always count on and that is our Lord, Jesus Christ. He will and does ACCEPT us no matter who or what we are.
When my children were dignosed with Muscular Dystrophy, they did not know how this would afffect their lives, physically or mentally. Physically; the progression was very slow at first. Then as the years crept by the deteriation process was much faster, therefore the moblity of my daughters limbs are no longer useful.
Now for my son, the deteriation of the muscles were much quicker for him for unknown reasons. He has very little mobility to his limbs.
They are boh totally dependant of someone for help in their daily needs. This is devastating enought for a young adult to handle, knowing that it will only get worse instead of better as time goes on.
Life is not easy for my children knowing that their life will not get better unless our Lord cures their body of this progressive disorder. Not only is their physical condition devastating, but the mental state can be just as devastating.
It started in school!! Both of my children were treated like they had a contagious disease, in that I mean other kids would laugh, stare and point fingers. Doesn't this sound familier?? Think back 2000 years ago, Jesus must of felt a loner because of all the people He loved turned their backs on Him. Well, my dear friends, this is how they felt like...LONERS! REJECTION!
I have felt rejection from my own family and friends at one time or another, and folks, yes it does HURT!! So you can about imagine how they felt in their teenage years, when this should be a fun time in their young lives.
There were times when they were so angry at life and what life was throwing at them. I could feel their pain and all I could do was console and encourage them to live their lives to the fullest, that God had a reason for this and He was using them as a vessal. What God had planned for them with this kind of affliction, they could not understand. Sometimes we don't understand why or what it is He has planned for us. We just need to pray for His guidance. God was holding on to them, but at that point they could not and would not ask for His help. Isn't that just typical of us?
God did this to me, so why should I ask for His help? Oh how wrong we can be!!!
At that time of their young lives all they could do is ask WHY ME LORD?? What did I do to deserve this? There were no answers for me to give them. I could see the pain in their eyes when someone would laugh or reject them. Oh, that would hurt me so much.
In todays society people could be very cruel to my children. I was even having a hard time coping, in knowing that my children were being rejected by their own friends. Even today, as they are adults now, people have not changed. It is too much of a burden for friends of theirs to even take them somewheres. Their friends have made lame excuses just, so not to be bothered with them. If only others could walk in their shoes for just on day.
I truly believe that when God said He made us in His own image, that is exactly what He did. No matter if we are "normal" or handicapped.
It says in John 3:`16 "For God so loved the world;" that means all people, not just some. If only the world would love us as God does, this place would be a much better place to live. If you would happen to see someone that is not as normal, physically or mentally, I mean, donīt laugh or turn away from them. Even if you donīt know who they are, tell them Hi or ask if you could help them in any way, just to brighten their day. Even if that is for one day, you will never know how much they will cherish that moment.
