"Now that's what I call a speeder." Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan had been wondering if getting thrown out of what looked like the wildest bar in town meant it was time to go home, but it obviously didn't. Instead they stood before a beautifully restored vintage speeder, an S-12 Glider of all things, very rare and incredibly fast. Obi-Wan had to agree with Qui-Gon's assessment. It was a thing of beauty, all fins and chrome with extra running lights. And it was a convertible. They didn't make them like that anymore.
"Whose speeder is this?" Obi-Wan asked.
The girls giggled and Qui-Gon said, "I don't know. Do you want to try it?"
"You mean steal it? Master! We can't steal a speeder."
"Borrow it, Obi-Wan. We'll just borrow it. It's too far to walk. And I'm your padawan remember."
Obi-Wan stood with his hands on his hips. He didn't care if they'd switched places for the evening. They couldn't go around breaking the law. "No."
"Oh, Obi-Wan you're so serious," Sei-Sheigon said. "It belongs to the house. It's ours, Qui-Gon's just joking around."
"Really?"
"Yes, get in. You're driving." Qui-Gon said.
Tentatively Obi-Wan climbed into the driver's seat. He still wasn't sure whether or not they really owned this speeder, but he could see that they would argue with him until he got in and drove them around in it, so he gave in. He started the engine and listened to the idle, the thing really purred. Qui-Gon and the girls quickly joined him. Obi-Wan gunned the motor and they took off.
The S-12 Glider was everything Obi-Wan had heard about them and more. It was balanced and cornered like it was on rails. Even with the needle buried, it drove like an afternoon cruise. He was glad he hadn't had that much to drink so he could drive it. He would never forget this. His passengers weren't in any shape to drive but were certainly enjoying the ride. Lucky for him he was enjoying driving so much that even the sight of Qui-Gon standing in the convertible making howling noises like a tervuren wolf didn't distract him.
Finally Algar gave him directions to what they referred to as "the house". He pulled up in front of a house that looked out of place in the fairly austere and stylish surroundings of Alderaan. For some it was a tricky business getting out of the speeder, but with Obi-Wan's help, everybody made it. Then they opened a gate and entered into the most elaborate pleasure garden Obi-Wan had ever seen. At the end of a long winding path stood the house, which had more gold leaf and decorative finishing on it than anything else. To call it flamboyantly tacky and ostentatious would have been an understatement.
"Lovely." Qui-Gon said as he walked down the path with Algar's elbow linked awkwardly in his; she was a good foot and a half shorter than he.
"Is this where the party is?" Obi-Wan asked.
"This is where the party always is." Sei-Sheigon told him and as they entered Obi-Wan could see that she was right.
***
The party had been in full swing for hours. In fact, Obi-Wan wondered if it really didn't end and they just kept it going in shifts. Women of various species with very little on mingled with a mixed crowd in various states of inebriation. Obi-Wan noted that while Qui-Gon was not the most intoxicated person there, he was easily in the top five. He tried not to be concerned about it though and even attempted to enjoy it. His master was normally the embodiment of grace and to see him be so clumsy was amusing.
They sat on a gilded couch with Algar and Sei-Sheigon though several other women had joined them. Algar was on Qui-Gon's lap and they were sharing a piece of very juicy fruit that dripped all over the two of them. This didn't seem to bother either of them because two of the women who had joined them since they arrived seemed more than happy to lick the juice off. Obi-Wan wasn't sure whether to be disgusted or envious. He wouldn't have minded drinking the sweet sticky juice off of Algar, but the idea of sucking it out of his master's beard made him want to gag.
Suddenly thirsty, Obi-Wan asked Sei-Sheigon if she could bring him a glass of water. She did and he drained in a single gulp before requesting another.
"Why don't we go somewhere more private?" Sei-Sheigon suggested.
"What for?" Obi-Wan asked sipping his second glass of water.
"We can get to know each other a little better."
Obi-Wan debated this in his head. Part of him was afraid to leave his master's side. He'd never seen him like this and wasn't sure what he would do. Then again Obi-Wan was aware that Qui-Gon had managed to survive without him for quite some time and would probably be just fine. Just when Obi-Wan was thinking that maybe he would like to get to know Sei-Sheigon a little better, Qui-Gon whacked him on the shoulder.
"You should go Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon said, or at least that's what Obi-Wan thought he said, his voice was so slurred that everything was up for interpretation. Then he looked over at Sei-Sheigon, "He's still a virgin you know." Obi-Wan definitely heard that right and was instantly the reddest he'd been all evening.
"Master!"
"Padawan." Qui-Gon corrected gravely.
"Whatever. You're embarrassing me."
"That's because you're too easily embarrassed. Now go, get to know her better." Qui-Gon pushed him off the couch and on to the floor as though to emphasize his point.
Obi-Wan took Sei-Sheigon's outstretched hand and allowed her to lead him from the room. He wasn't sure what they would do together, though he was beginning to get an idea, but he really just wanted to get away from Qui-Gon who got gotten far too icky to be around.
***
The room that Sei-Sheigon took him too was as lavishly furnished at the rest of the house. She sat down on a sateen sheeted bed and patted a spot next to her. Obi-Wan sat obediently.
"You're so shy Obi-Wan." She said. He didn't know how to respond at first, and then he thought of something.
"I sang that stupid song with Qui-Gon didn't I?"
"No, I mean with girls."
"Oh."
"You don't have to be. Don't you like me?" Sei-Sheigon stood up and straddled his knees with her hands on his shoulders.
"Yes. I do."
She pushed him down, climbing on top of him. "So there's no problem then."
Obi-Wan lay back as she kissed him. She was right, there wasn't any problem at all. He started to relax and then a realization hit him. There was a problem. A big problem.
"My clothes!" Obi-Wan cried sitting up suddenly. Sei-Sheigon looked amused.
"What about them" she asked.
"I don't know how to take them off. And then if I do get them off, I don't know how they go back on."
Sei-Sheigon stifled a giggle. "You're a strange one. How can you not know how to take your clothes on and off?"
"I've never worn clothes like these. I'm a Jedi, a padawan, my normal clothes aren't like this at all. Someone else put them on me."
"You're a Jedi? Is Qui-Gon a Jedi too?" She sounded surprised.
Obi-Wan nodded. "He's my master. I'm his student."
Sei-Sheigon giggled again, "He's funny."
"He can be." Obi-Wan admitted.
"You know, I'm very good with clothes. I'm sure I could figure out how to get you out of yours." Sei-Sheigon announced. "Allow me to demonstrate with mine." She stood up on the bed and Obi-Wan watched as she delicately undid a few buttons on her dress and the whole thing fell in a pile around her ankles. There was nothing on underneath and Obi-Wan saw that if Sei-Sheigon's hair hadn't been dyed green it would have been a golden red.
"See. I'm quite good. Can I give yours a try?" She asked.
Obi-Wan swallowed hard. "You seem, uh, pretty skilled. I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out."
She grinned, already undoing the buttons on his shirt collar. "I think I can handle it."
Obi-Wan lay back and sighed with relief as she pulled away the stifling collar. She started on his vest. "Perhaps later you'll show me your lightsabre." Sei-Sheigon said.
Obi-Wan sat up. "Oh, I can't. I left it back at our quarters." He admitted earnestly.
Sei-Sheigon laughed and pushed him back down. "Not that one. The other one. I'm sure you brought at least one along."
"Oh," Obi-Wan willed himself not to go bright red again and failed miserably. "Yes, I brought that one."
Sei-Sheigon smiled, her fingers moving towards the fasteners on his pants. "Oh, good." She said.
***
Obi-Wan could see it was still dark through the window, but he knew it wouldn't be that way for long. Already there was a hint that morning was on its way. He was comfortable between the sateen covers with Sei-Sheigon curled around him, but it was probably time they were going home. He'd never been out all night before and the beginnings of fatigue were prickling behind his eyelids. He sat up and slid out of bed. He hated to disturb Sei-Sheigon; she looked so comfortable. Maybe he could figure out his clothes alone.
Obi-Wan pulled on his pants and got them buttoned. Then he started on the tunic and vest. Sei-Sheigon stirred. She rubbed her eyes and stretched.
"I promised I'd put you back together again." She said with her eyes still half closed. She motioned for Obi-Wan to sit down. He did and she did the buttons on the tunic, vest, and collar.
"Can you make it looser?" Obi-Wan asked as she did the collar.
"That's the way it's supposed to be. Looks very smart on you."
Obi-Wan sighed. He was slowly being strangled in the name of fashion and no one seemed to care. He picked up his coat. "Well, bye. That was nice, Sei-Sheigon."
She caressed one cheek with her hand and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "You're cute, Obi-Wan. If you're ever back here, look me up okay. Even if you are a Jedi."
Obi-Wan smiled. "I will Sei-Sheigon. Thanks. And we're not monks you know." He said, echoing Qui-Gon's words from earlier.
She smiled. "I'm glad to hear that." She said.
Obi-Wan bowed and stepped through the door.
***
Things had died down considerably in the parlor. A few women still entertained their clients, but the atmosphere was much quieter and more intimate. Obi-Wan found someone who gave him a glass of water and he wandered around looking for Qui-Gon. He was nowhere to be seen however; so Obi-Wan settled in a tall-backed chair to wait.
He'd almost fallen asleep when he was tapped on the shoulder. He sat up abruptly, spilling the remains of the water on the floor. "I'm awake." He said.
It was Algar; she had changed and now wore only a short robe. "Obi-Wan, you might want to take your friend home now." She said.
"Oh, Qui-Gon, I was looking for him."
"He's in here." Algar led him to a bedroom similarly decorated to the one he had spent the evening with Sei-Sheigon in. Qui-Gon was sitting on the edge of the bed with the two brunettes who had been licking the juice. Obi-Wan wondered had he been in here with the three of them? He thought briefly of his few hours with Sei-Sheigon. He couldn't imagine having 3 of her. Qui-Gon rose when Obi-Wan entered and stood swaying slightly.
"Are you ready to go, Ma…Padawan?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Mmm." Qui-Gon agreed. Obi-Wan wasn't sure what would happen if his master tried to walk, so he put his arm around him and guided him out the door. When they entered the parlor Qui-Gon surveyed the room owlishly and looked at Obi-Wan. "Did you have a nice time with She-Gon?" he asked, pronouncing Sei-Sheigon's name so that it rhymed with his own.
"Yes, I did." Obi-Wan said.
Qui-Gon sat down heavily in one of the chairs. "Excellent."
"I think we should be getting home now." Obi-Wan said. Qui-Gon started to rise, but then Obi-Wan stopped him. His master looked positively disheveled. His hair had come undone and hung wildly, the umbrella that Obi-Wan had put there earlier was gone, but pieces of it remained. Obi-Wan picked out the umbrella pieces and borrowed a hair tie from one of the girls. He carefully pulled Qui-Gon's hair back so it was smooth again. Then he straightened Qui-Gon's shirt and jacket and re-did the buttons that had come undone. There was nothing he could do about the juice stains on Qui-Gon's shirt, nor could he do anything about the rip in one of the sleeves of his coat, but he still looked much more presentable than he had. "Now we're ready." Obi-Wan said standing back to look at his work.
He helped Qui-Gon to his feet and they walked out the door.
Return to Archive List
Continue on to Part Four