When he comes home, he finds the door to the basement completely open, but the zombies are not moving. They are still heavily sedated. So, why was the door open? You guessed it, here is where captain shithead gets his name. Well, Cpt. Shithead thinks they are just plain dead bodies, so he thinks his nephew the squirrelman is a sick motherfucker who kills people and keeps their bodies in his basement. He demands the house and squirrelguy's inheritance to not call the cops. Squirrelguy, who is still caring for these zombies rather than kill them, agrees. Fucking BAD move. Cpt. Shithead throws a big ass party. Hot foreign chick comes into the party to find squirrelguy. The zombies are still in the basement. There are tons of people upstairs. You see where this is going, right?
What follows is the single most violent scene in movie history. Yet, it still all seems to be funny. Rather than detail what happens, I am just going to show you some screen shots. Needless to say, all the zombies die, squirrelguy uses a lawnmower to kill 50 zombies, Cpt. Shithead dies, it ends in a fight between Squirrelguy and his mom who had become the Ultimate zombie, the amulet comes in handy, and squirrelguy and hot foreign chick live happily ever after.
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fuck
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fuck
![](/ar3/beerninjas/violence3.JPG)
fuck
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Now, why did I tell you all that. Why, in a tribute to Peter Jackson, did I write a shitload about some Ultra-violent comedy horror love story? Well, as you may already have guessed, Peter Jackson directed this movie. For those of you who don't know, Peter Jackson also directed all three parts of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Yes, that is right, the same Peter Jackson. He did the movie I just described, and then got a $300,000,000 dollar budget to direct three movies. Two of which have already come out, and grossed a combined 1.766 BILLION dollars worldwide, with a third to come. Imagine the scam he must have run on the producers of Lord of the Rings to give him $300 million to make movies with his track record. Now, I am not denouncing his movies, in fact, I love Braindead, Meet the Feebles, and Bad Taste...all of which were early Peter Jackson movies that are just damn wrong and fucking hilarious. Here is my tribute to Peter Jackson, who pulled the greatest scam ever, and one hell of a model american.