THE WAR
Alright, I know that a lot of people have a lot of different opinions about this war and that it is a controversial subject, but I am here to give you the real deal. I have insider information that may or may not be true, but should influence all of your opinions. This war is not good, we are after the wrong guy. We are wasting billions of dollars on a puppet leader. You may be thinking, "Lets get that Osama Bin Laden yeah!" But, he is also a puppet. We need to focus on getting the most dangerous man on the planet, Joe Carter.
Now, many of you are thinking, "Bob, you are crazy, he is just an ex-baseball player, not an international terrorist." Well, lets look at the facts. This guys was saying that he heard Joe say he was a terrorist. That is evidence. Rearrange the letters in his name and what do you get.....AL QAIDA, thats what you get dammit. If that evidence isn't enough for you, he played for the Toronto Blue Jays, an organization with assumed terrorist connections. Not only that, he was inducted into the Canadian Hall of Fame, and if that isn't a terrorist sleeper cell, I don't know the definition of sleeper cell or terrorist or isn't.
How Can We Stop This Menace????
How Can We Stop This Menace????
Okay, conventional troops won't work, and besides, they are in Iraq and won't be leaving or a while. My suggestions is that we release 183,000 ninjas each with a picture of Joe Carter and a wooden sword. You might think a wooden sword won't be effective, but Carter is part Vampire. Each ninja will be given silver chinese stars too, as Carter is part wolfman too. He is pure evil, and must be stopped. In my opinion, 183,000 ninjas is not nearly enough, they are merely a scouting wave to locate and hopefully wound him. He is the most dangerous man in the world, and will likely require a second force of armed ninjas ssomewhere in the neighborhood of 600,000 strong. I remind you, if you see Joe Carter, call your neighborhood ninja at once, otherwise, he will likely eat you, your dog, and your children.