Koy Detmer was born on July 5th, 1973 in San Antonio, Texas. After emerging from his mother's womb, the doctor was heard to comment, "That's the best neck beard I've ever seen on an infant." Indeed it was. At that moment, a nearby street drunk and prophet declared that Koy would "Oneday become the most famous and powerful person to ever wear a neckbeard." Well, much like another famous person with a beard, very little is known about Koy's childhood. Rumors float about him turning water into Pabst Blue Ribbon at a wedding. This I believe. After enrolling in the University of Colorado, Koy did something truly remarkable. Something he has only admitted to me. Koy used his amazing football prowess to travel through time. Luckily, Koy gave me the chance to tag along on a few of his exploits. Here are a few pictures from our remarkable journey.
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Here is Koy signing the Emancipation Proclamation
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Here is Koy on "Noah's" Ark
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Koy crossing the Delaware
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Receiving the 10 commandments
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Delivering toys to the world's children and pretending to be black
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Koy after building the Great Wall of China...single handedly
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Koy declaring the obvious
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Ummm, I am going to hell aren't I?
Well, it seems that Koy Detmer has been every famous and important person throughout history possessing a beard. Add that to the fact that he does nothing except kick ass on the football field and do that cool as whip thing, and you've got no reason not to love the man.
FUCK YOU