Sounds:
 

Andy:

"I don't know if you are laughing at me or with me..."

"And now last, but not to be the least, I would like to imitate the Elvis Presley."

"I want it quiet.  If I hear one more sound, I'm going to close this book and forget about the whole thing."

Caspiarian (or whatever language they speak in Caspiar)

"I could have sued you for everything you're worth, but i didn't, because I'm not that kind of guy."

"I am sick of this *BEEP*  You are full of *BEEP* my friend, and I will sue you for everything that you have!"

"You're a *BEEEEEEEEP* as far as I'm concerned!  You hear me?  *BEEEEEEP* *BEEP*--I will get you for this!"

"I am sorry to use those words on television, I apologize to all my fans. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!  But, you, you're a *BEEEP*"

"Ow...Oh, thank you vedy much...you know, Louie..."

"Look.  Up in the sky.  It's a bird.  It's a plane.  Nope.  It's superman."

"Yep.  Superman.  Strange visitor from another planet came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond............"
 
 

Tony:

"Kaufman's been usin' my name to get places."

"You wanna see humor?  I'll show you humor!  That's humor pal, that's humawww!  Aww, everybody say awww!!"

"...No truth to that rumor whatsoever.  That's a total fabrication on your part."
 

Video:
 

Andy sings the Caspiar anthem and dances. media player  quicktime

Entertainment Tonight's coverage of Jim Carrey and Tony Clifton's fight.

Andy adopts kids.

Andy with Freddie Blassie.

Tony Clifton and Miss Piggy.

Andy eating Ice Cream.

Andy Wrestling Women.

Andy turning Christian on us.

Andy apologizing on Fridays.

Andy Fighting on Fridays.

Cowboy Andy "sings" Old Macdonaled with audience members.

Interview on Tom Cottle.
 

Music:

Andy's wrestling theme will be here, just as soon as I can figure out how to link an Mp3.  @.@