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“Boil, Boil, Toil, & Trouble” Martha Stewart Halloween Jail Party Spoof
Martha throws a Halloween Party for her cell block. In the craft room all of her cellmates pitched in and created a Goth spooky nightmare extravaganza.
Martha is stirring a big black cauldron of pink lemonade and apple cider mixed in a 1:2 ratio. For a festive touch Jack-Be-Little pumpkins, instead of the usual apples, are floating on top. (Bobbing isn’t allowed in the hoochkow.)
The ghost is a simple creation of a balloon stuck under a white sheet with a face stenciled on with finger paints. The bowtie is made of a rubber radiator belt taken from the prison automotive shop.
To make your own tombstones like Martha did, just cut Styrofoam into cemetery marker shapes with rounded tops. Spray paint the “tombstones” with automotive primer paint, then use a black or silver Magic Marker to write on an epitaph. “Hattie Clemson, She drank a lot of wine, and lived to 99” “R.I.P. Bonnie Blake, she died by mistake” “Here lies JJ Rayla, I’d rather be here than Tijuana” “Plant” the tombstones in a patch of Astroturf or grow some alfalfa seed in a box of soil for a Chia Pet effect.
The garland of bats is black construction paper cutouts with iridescent beads glued on for eyes. Hot glue the bats to a piece of string, add a bead here and there for reflection in the candle light.
The final DIY project is an enormous spider web. It is made of lamb’s wool yarn spun in the prison weaving class. Use push pins to tack it up on a bulletin board covered wall. To create the spider: Spray paint a tennis ball and a ping-pong ball black. Hot glue them together. Hot glue on some pipe cleaners for legs, 8 legs! Shape them, 2 facing forward and 2 facing backward on each side. Paint on a red hourglass to make the spider a deadly black widow.
Martha has to wear her prison-issued black & white uniform; still she wanted to dress up in a costume. So instead of the more predictable witch (to go with the cauldron), she decided to be a hula girl. That way she could mentally transport herself to the islands, Hawaii in particular, to dream of hanging out at a beach luau, complete with a pig roasting in the spit, tiki torches reflecting the ocean waves, and hot beach boys delivering Mai Tais.
Her “grass” skirt is made of green plastic garden bags cut into long strips and sewn onto a band of yellow ribbon. The bra part is made of a coconut cut in half, the meat is removed, eaten, and the shells dried, then it was hot-glued together on green bias tape to create attachments and shoulder straps. The purple pink hibiscus flower in her hair was a present from cellmate and protector person Lill. Martha has taken up hula dancing as an extracurricular activity in the prison’s entertainment sector. Hula is a lot more fun than crunches in the exercise room.
Her ball & chain are evident in this painting. Even though you can have fun doing arts & crafts in jail, you do lose your freedom.
APPEAL is a beautiful word.
