All poems written by Nadine.

5/15-16/01
If Only You Could See
You are so blind
Unable to see;
That all you want
Is to be free.
You allow your parents
To run your life;
It won’t be long
Before you’re in strife.
You have never been shown
How to fend for yourself;
Assuming life skills
Can be substituted for wealth.
You expect so much
>From everyone;
Thinking its you
Revolving around the sun.
You live for your grades
Exchanging life for school;
One day you’ll wake up
And realise you’re a fool.
You make no effort
To cease the day;
Giving no reason
For you to stay.
You are so degrading
To everything here;
Seeming to look down
With a constant sneer.
You’re so inconsiderate
Of those around you;
The people you hurt
If only you knew.
You are the world
In your own eyes;
But to everyone else
You’re full of lies.
You are so silent
In your ways;
Minutes with you
Seem like days.
You expose no emotions
No feelings are shown;
And when you speak
It’s always the same tone.
You hide your life
Behind an act;
All you expose
Is fiction never fact.
If only you could see yourself
The way we see you;
Perhaps then you would realise
What you’ve put us through


6/12/00
Seed of truth
To split the seed,
Is to eternally bleed,
In that blood I was tangled,
Like rope I was strangled,
In my last breath,
I tasted death,
It was then I realized,
My life was finalized,
And to erase the pain,
Is to go insane.


6/12/00
Questioning Reasons
How many times have I wondered why?
Why am I here? What is my fate?
Do I need fear? To express hate?
What does my life mean? Is there a purpose for my birth?
Is there a place for me on this earth?
Where is my home?
Does anyone know?
Have you ever in you life really felt like you belong?
Friends, what are they truly?
Someone you can rely on?
Or just a name and a face recognizable in a crowd?
Someone you can turn to?
Or just a person who will try and pretend to be proud?
If I knew the answers to these mysteries,
Would it end my eternal miseries?


6/12/00
Rage Cage
I am trapped in this cage,
Under lock and key,
Let me out of this rage,
Can you not hear me plea?
That is why I write on this page,
In hope someone will come find me,
Soon I dream before I begin to age,
I will be finally able to flee,
My memories of this time will become vague,
As I run away, escape and be free.


6/12/00
Dysfunctional Place
Let me out of this place,
I’m out of place,
I have no face,
Life seems a race,
With such haste,
And no taste,
What a waste,
Of such a place,
Having to down a case,
To be dealt an ace,
Then vanish without a trace,
Disappearing without a trace.


11/12/00
Creation Of My Mind
My innocence is dead,
It’s all in my head,
Cos my life was fed,
And my mind was lead,
By the eternally dead,
Out in the back shed,
As I slept in my bed.


11/12/00
Useless Knowledge
Tell me why I have to sit,
And listen and learn all this shit,
Things I’ll never need to know,
That have no meaning to show,
Knowledge of which has no use,
Wish I could choke it all in a noose,
For in this time I become so bored,
Escape and release is something adored,
Out of the window my soul does stare,
While my body is stuck here, glued to the chair,
Watching the freedom of those outside,
Sitting here wishing that I had died.


23-25/1/01
Privacy is something unknown to my life now,
Freedom forgotten, trust embellished.
Here I am invisible to thee,
A burden, a source of entertainment.
I am everything just as I am nothing,
Everyone and no one all encased in one mysteriously package,
Choked in truthless wrapping.
I am a prisoner, a captive in this hellhole,
No communication to the outside world,
Blocked off from familiarity,
Everything once learned is now useless to empower my situation.
Trapped in-doors like the streets are crawling with fugitives,
Looking out upon the world through one sided glass,
Screaming, crying, begging, then giving in,
No one sees, no one hears, no one notices, no one cares.


22/4/01
The True You
You hide your true self, your true feelings, just to fit in.
You are a lie and are lying to others, but mostly yourself.
You cover up your face in the freshest new colours.
You keep yourself locked up in a seasonally stylish shell.
What it is you hide and why you do not know.
Covering up your childhood, your life, your future.
Jeopardising the outcome of what is pre-decided.
You hide your face purposefully wishing to be lost in the crowds.
You do not realise what you are and do not wish to know.
Look inside your soul and you will see the truth.
It is there, yelling and screaming, wanting to be free.
Your individuality, your personality, YOU.
Why do you insist on lying to yourself and others?
Deep down you know what you are and it scares you.
You are more than you could ever have imagined.
An individual is someone admired yet feared.
You do not wish to be feared, as you are scared of yourself, of the truth.
People can be scared of what is new, different.
Fear has played a huge part in your young life.
From your family and so called friends.
Scared you may be forgotten you if you dare to speak your mind.
People can be so cruel to themselves and to others.
Everyone hides something but many do not realise this.
They do not realise what effects their lies have.
You see this, you know you do, you see the lies everyday.
You must wake up and see the true outcomes.
These lies may make your life seem fun.
But if you take a closer look you will see your going down.
You try not to believe yet you know the truth.
Inside you know that you are residing in teenage hell.
You hate your life, your lies, as do many others.
For your lies are laid upon others in unseen ways.
You can not see what effects you have on those around you.
They feed off you, you are their queen, what you do they will try to imitate.
They are mocking you and you can’t see it.
They fear you and you won’t believe it.
You are afraid of the truth, afraid of yourself.
But most importantly you are afraid to believe.
For you know that belief can be a harmful thing.


23/4/01
I don’t know how to love; I have never had the opportunity.
Love has never been offered to me, nor have I proceeded to take it.
I don’t know what love is, all I know is what I’m told.
Nothing I have ever been told was spoken through love.
Neither was it loving or inspiring to my heart, to my soul, to my being.
All my life I have thrived for love so why is it that I can not receive?
I just know how to live, but that proves a triumph in its self on occasions.
Sometimes I find it hard to breathe, to think myself worthy of the breath.
Suffocating in these lies, I feel you circulating through my body.
During large portions of my life I have painfully longed for death.