Living With Myself
When I look in the mirror at the face that reflects
My eyes swell with tears wondering whats next.
I can't go on living this lie that tortures me night and day
I need to go on with my life, somehow find a way.
I wish I could just tell you the truth about me
that way I could allow myself to be free.
Its been hard keeping this ugly secret inside
With myself being the only one to confide.
I can not tell a single soul for the word might spread
Its gotten so hard lately I would rather be dead.
I can't even live with myself anymore
My horrid life has become more of a chore.
I cry myself to sleep each and every night
hoping not to wake up to the morning light.
I wake up shaking and ghostly pale each morn
I put a smile on my face when really I am torn.
Suicide has crossed my mind many times this year
Living life in nothing but constiant fear.
Its become way to much for me to handle.
Just want to blow out the damn candle.
I feel like I am trapped and I have lost the fight.
Smile for the camara and pretend everything is alright.
Go on pretending every single day that I am just fine
My life has been taken over it is no longer mine.
How can I explain this secret to those I love?
How can I face my father...the lord above?
Will God completely disown me as his child?
Will my parents forget about me, their daughter gone wild?
I am nothing short of a family disgrace
No longer the angel covered with bows & lace.
I am not the little girl everyone wants me to be
Its their loss, sooner or later they will see.
Story about "Living with Myself"
Probebly one of the most personal poems I have ever wrote. We all have secrets. Its a part of life. Sometimes those secrets tear at our hearts/souls. The hardest person to live with is yourself...
