https://www.angelfire.com/art/letters/index.html
writegirl@altavista.com
p>To Whoever, Wherever, Whatever...
OMG I can’t believe how lame I have become. I am on hold for Tech Support. It has been at least ten minutes so I have duct-taped the phone to my ear so I can write this. Sick!
random thoughts:
1. If I ever saw a pic of u would I regret anything I have done?
2. Let’s start paying a teacher a real salary so we can get qualified people. What an idea. A recent story stated that most current teachers failed a basic knowledge test. duh. The teachers that I know are really dumb... can’t spell, can’t talk, very dubyaish. They are teaching YOUR children.
3.Did you ever think for one moment that u and I would have been perfect together. I mean for real? Or was that my delusion?
(Oh no the oven timer is dinging. My genuine turkey dinner with a slice of turkey, stuffing!!!!, 6 dimpled peas and a teaspoon of fake mashed potatoes is ready. Where are the scissors?????????????? HELP!)
4.There is something I am burning to tell u. It isn’t about “us.” Yet it is something u should know. One day I will be brave and just say it...here.
5.P.C. crap sucks. (I am NOT referring to computers.) I am going to take my mouth and put it on the line. **** LOOK **** at what I just found Heather
6. Could u get out of my head?
7. I forgot to add one “event” to my Minneapolis Road Trip story. It is called “Let Me Invite A Friend To My House So I Can Demolish Them.”
First I should tell u that G is a race car driver. Not the regular Nascar type, more European-style. He does timed laps. There aren’t any other cars next to him.
Well, late Saturday after Chick Magnet had made some friends in the neighborhood (six young girls next door were out playing b-ball) I suggested taking the sports-gang out for ice cream. G filled his little car and I filled mine. We did ice cream. So far, so good.
Except all of the way there and back I was eye-balling his new Audi. It is the epitome of good design, magnificently aesthetic.
So when we returned I asked him if he would take me for a short ride, I simply wanted to feel what that machine was like.
G had this weird, vast grin on his face. His wife got out and I said to her, “Did I just volunteer to be his victim?” She just raised her eyebrows and walked to the house.
The dashboard is beautiful. Each seat has it’s own climate control, the knobs and buttons are truly elegant, G is explaining his racing harness, then all of a sudden we are doing negative g’s. Good God. I was screaming and pinching him, the car was rounding an on-ramp and we were nearly tipping over, suddenly he slammed on the brakes. The car stopped on a nickel. He did it 3 more times on three more ramps. I completely exhausted my mouth of every single fucking swear word I know. Four times!
On the way back to his house I tried to convince him to let me drive, but he said I would kill him. He was right.
When I asked if he took wife Laura on these joyrides he said “No. I was waiting for you to come up.”
What the fuck?
I did leave him a little present right before I got out of town. I slipped into his garage and slapped a note on the front seat of his Audimobile: LEARN TO DRIVE!
8. I wonder if u even read any of my stuff anymore. Doesn’t matter, I guess.
9.Okay I am off to dinner for one :)
10.Tech support sucks. They never answer.
11. Tonight I must attend what is being billed as "a geniune Cinderella wedding".....ARGH! Update: Good God they even had a film of him wearing a crown placing a glass (plastic really) slipper on her. She had 12 attendants! The waiters wore white gloves to serve the $60 per person dinner and they brought out Italian beef sandwiches and pizza for everyone still there at midnight! I guess that was an offering to the Fairy Godmother to keep Cinderella from turning back into a chargirl. All of us that stayed at the hotel had a welcome basket (the Merlot was terrific!) and were invited to a pull-out-all-the-stops brunch the next morning. The coolest part of the whole grandiose affair was the almonds nestled in a tuft of white netting wrapped with a fresh pink rose. Oh, the dancing was fun too!
12.I hope your life is going good.
13. When I returned from Minne, six emails from G were waiting for me. Seems he has bruises on his hip from me pinching him so hard. Too bad. Haha. He wants me to return for another ride...yeah, your ass. Next time, I drive :)
14. Lastly, if scientists finally figure out the human genome and pain and suffering ends, what happens to religion? The church must be terrified.
15.Okay one more...here's an ice cream tip...if it doesn't melt it is NOT ice cream! more like soybean-agar-glycerin fake foodstuff. BEWARE!
16. Confession:I am always getting into trouble for all of this stuff I write. Maybe I should just be sweet-mouthed...Nope, FREEDOM!