by Eikyu No Nozomi
Heero looked at the small piece of paper in his hands. Then he
looked up at the vid-phone, and sighed. His hand trembled, and his
thoughts were muddled. He wasn't sure what to do, wasn't sure about
anything anymore.
When the war had ended, he had been confused at first. He was
a soldier, nothing else. But then, a deep feeling from within had
replaced the need for war, the need to be a Gundam Soldier. His Love
for Relena. He hadn't accepted it at first, but, with Her coaxing, he
had embraced the feeling with all his heart.
Once more, though, Heero found himself lost, with no beacon
light to depend on. Relena, with all her grace, gentleness, and
perfection, had dumped Heero flat on his face. Wasn't her type, she
had said, to difficult. And so, Heero found himself all alone, with
nothing to comfort the pain within, except for four phone numbers on a
crumpled piece of paper.
Heero looked down at the paper, and chose the first name that
came to mind. Duo Maxwell. He looked at the paper, and dialed. The
phone rang.
"Hello! Maxwell salvaging, how may we help you!?" Duo
asked in a chirp voice, looking away from the phone screen. "Oh, hey
Heero! Want parts to build a Gundam, or something? Can't
guarantee a working self-destruct button, though!" Duo laughed at the
corny joke. Heero made a weak attempt at a smile, and shook his
head.
"No, was just wondering how everything was going. Just to
talk, neh?" Heero said politely, his eyes pleading for comfort. Duo
grinned.
"Ah, human contact! What a wonderful thing it is, but I never
thought I'd see the day where you wanted some! I'd love to oblige, but
business is booming, and I really need to get back to work! Talk to you
later!" Duo grinned, hanging up on his end of the phone line. Heero
stared at the blank screen a few minutes longer before replying to the
darkness of his small apartment.
"Yeah, talk to you later." Heero sighed, and crossed off Duo's
name on the paper. He dialed Quatre next, positive that the blonde
could say something, anything at all, to straighten Heero's thoughts.
He dialed.
"Winner residence, Quatre speaking." Quatre sighed, sounding
very exhausted. When his face appeared on the screen, he looked as if
he hadn't slept in days. There were dark circles under his eyes, his
hair was in disarray, and his clothes looked as if he had slept in them,
many times over.
"Hey, Quatre, things going well?" Heero asked, sounding
concerned. Obviously he had called at a bad time.
"Oh, hello Heero. Just some complicated company politics, a
takeover, and three days with no sleep. Almost like old times!" Quatre
said with a dim, and very unenthusiastic, laugh.
"No fireworks, I hope!" Heero laughed sorrowfully, but Quatre
was too sleepy to notice. "Well, I'll let you get your sleep then!"
"Yes, please! Good bye Heero." Quatre sighed, hanging up as
fast as he could, probably to go to sleep.
Heero sighed, and crossed Quatre off his list, feeling the
emptiness in his chest grow a notch with the inability to talk to even
the most friendly of pilots anymore. He picked up the paper, and
dialed Chang WuFei's number.
The phone wrang seven times before the answering machine
picked up.
"Sorry, but Chang WuFei is not at home. Please leave your
name and number, and I will try to get back to you as soon as I can."
WuFei's voice echoed monotonous over the intercom, his strict and
bored face appeared on the video.
"WuFei, it's Heero. Just checking up, see ya later." Heero said,
trying to control his voice. He wasn't sure how it would sound later,
but he already knew that it was a broken attempt at cheerfulness.
He crossed WuFei's number off the paper, and dialed the last
number there was, Trowa Barton.
"Hello Heero! Let me call Trowa over!" Catherine said cheerily,
shouting at her younger brother to get the phone.
"Heero? You don't look so good..." Trowa said, wincing as
Catherine, somewhere else in the background, slapped him across the
back of the head.
"Don't be rude!" Catherine squeaked, realizing that Heero could
hear her.
"Some sister you got!" Heero said with a pathetic chuckle.
Trowa grinned, and stuck his tongue out.
"Yeah. Heero, I'd love to talk, but there's rehearsal in a
few seconds, and I have to be there. New trick." Trowa grinned,
picking up his clown mask.
"Okay. Well, see you around then." Heero sighed, trying his
best not to look down hearted, and succeeding.
"Okay. Come to opening night, next Sunday, okay?" and with
that, Trowa hung up the phone, and Heero did the best he could not to
curl up into a ball and die, right there.
"Relena was right. I am too difficult, too time consuming, too
antisocial, to spare any time for. To spare even a small word to! Why
do I even bother living anymore!" Heero shouted to himself, feeling
something go trickling down his cheek. He touched his finger to it,
and held the wet drop in front of his face. He was crying.
"Even I weep for myself, for what good it does me!" Heero
chuckled crazily. A stream of light, from the cutained wondow, hit the
wet crystal, sending a rainbow across his face.
"Yes, that's what I need. A walk to clear the mind. If I truly
have nothing left, at least I can see the sun set one last time." Heero
opened the door, and walked out of the building, and onto the street,
heading for the docks.
"Sorry." as girl mumbled, bumping into Heero. Her white hair
was plastered onto her face by the tears, her pale blue jumper dress
looked wrinkled, as if she had collapsed on something, and cried
herself to sleep.
"No, excuse me!" Heero said, smiling. He wondered why he
was so happy all of a sudden, and decided that the irony of finding one
more unhappy person in the world was too much for even his senses.
"Yeah, excuse me." the girl sniffed, pulling her mid length hair
back behind her ear, and rubbing some more tears out of her eye.
"Going my way?" Heero asked, holding out his arm. The girl,
no more than Heero's age, eighteen, giggled, and took his arm.
"To the beach we go. I want to see the sun set one last time."
the girl sighed, watching as the sun began to dip lower, but no where
near setting yet. Heero nodded, remembering the pain still aching in
his heart.
"Yes, the sun set is always the most beautiful. It's the last thing
I want to see." Heero said as they arrived at the cement boardwalk that
overlooked the pounding surf. The sun began to turn the clouds shades
of red and orange.
"Isn't it beautiful? I used to watch the sunrise when I was a
child, but this, this is the best. A perfect end, you know. Nothing else
was worth it, but this scene, this one instant, makes me take a second
guess." the girl said, breathing in the salt laden air, and letting it out
with a whoosh, her hair fluttering around her.
"I know what you mean. All your life, you think that everything
you've ever done is worthless, that nothing you can ever see or do will
be worth any of this. Then, you see one thing, you see this beautiful
sunset, and wonder, maybe there will be another sunset tomorrow, and
the day after that, and in five years, who knows? Maybe you'll just
want to see that sunset too!" Heero said, watching as the waves turned
into molten gold, and licked at the pillars beneath them.
"Exactly. But, in a few minutes, you'll know that the painting
will be gone, and that only a cold, empty darkness will be left......"
".......And you'll have no idea how to fill it. Nothing to fill it
with, but the sorrowful memory of a crimson twinkle......" Heero
finished for her. The girl looked over at him, and, for the first time
since she had met up with Heero, she smiled. It was a small smile, but
a perfect smile.
"Guess you came here for the same reason I did."
"Yeah. Nothing left to do, but watch my last sunset." Heero
said, watching the sunset dullen.
"A suicide pack, made in the last light from the heavens." the
girl sighed happily, and faced Heero again. The sun sunk beneath the
water, leaving them in the twilight darkness of the stars.
"Yes. A suicide pack. Under the heaven's light." Heero said,
looking up to the stars above, wishing that he was among them once
more.
"Thank You." she said, holding out her hand.
"For what?" Heero asked, confused.
"For giving me the best last night on Earth." the girl smiled,
leaning over and kissing Heero on the cheek. She turned and ran,
waving good bye as she disappeared around a corner down the street,
her white hair flagging out behing her. Heero felt his cheek, where a
short time before he had felt a tear, and walked outside because of it.
"Your welcome, and, thank you." Heero said, walking slowly
back to his apartment.
He opened his door, and checked the answering machine.
Nothing. He turned on the water, and poured himself a nice warm
bath. As he stepped in, he fingered the new razor blade slowly, and sat
down in the warm water.
"Thank you, for the best last night on Earth." Heero smiled, and
cut open his wrists, watching his red life mix with the once clear water.
"Thank you for the best last night on Earth, my Sorrowful
Sunset Angel....." Heero whispered, giving into the darkness that
surrounded him, the water turning a bright crimson pink around his
body as the blood continued to flow long after he had slipped into a
silent coma, and finally......
Death.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Owari
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope this wasn't too sob for you! Comments apreciated!
blurose@angelfire.com
