For ;smr

FUCK YOU

everything's just great for you,
and you're so happy now
you're rid of me and now you're free
i'm gone and it didn't matter how

so go back to your games
your life's so fucking good
fall asleep alone, you're on your own
you'll always feel just as you should

(lay down and hide everything you hold inside
sit there and tell me you know)

everything is gone from me
there's nothing for you here
the pain you gave, the life you saved
means nothing to me, dear

so go back to your hate
turn around, walk out the door
i'll walk away with nothing to say
and watch you hit the floor
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I Love Being Strung Up In Love

i breathe out as a heavy sigh
each time you recite your lines
with an expectant certainty
i know exactly what goes on
when you disconnect from me
you say you see red
then stop looking through my eyes
don't ever fuck me over and expect me to be perfectly okay
i'll say what i goddamn well please to who the fuck i want
and i'll feel how i deserve to feel
even after you say these intense feelings of hatred for me have dissolved
i can't help but still be stunned by your past words
i fucking love being strung up in love
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
wake up motherfucker, it's the sad reality
for both of us, here's your fucking finality
you wanted a clean break like cutting a diamond
all we're getting is two people coming undone
**************************************************
i have you chained bitch!!!!
i fucking own you!!!!
and i dont even have the other side of your rope
the rope i almost hung myself with
but instead i inadvertenly wrapped it around your neck
until you turned blue and jaded
you fucking tell me that I have no idea????
fuck's right i have no idea
Mr. Impenetrable
wonder why im so clueless and such a bitch
you tell me
fucking tell me anything goddamn you!!!!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
reflected back, you can't ever tell if it's real or projected but this is it! this empty warehouse is going to fall around me you throw your fists down to your sides and raise your head up to the godless sky and scream out your reasons for leaving
======================================================
let these slip ones slip through
just like you let me pass on while you turned your head
but now, who's turning heads?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
you see twilight through your alcohol eyes
you're still sober though i'm drunk on you
you look silent
stoic stone-faced while smiling
you're so truthful denying
the static we both know is you
**************************************
There’s so much on this,
so much I can’t get at.
You remain so obscure,
and obscurity is forever.
You can only understand something once,
but you can go forever without ever grasping
the simplest meaning behind a vague glance.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))
ashes to ashes and us to dust,
i use my cigarette to light the pages
of the letters that i write to you.
this night is set on fire
and it burns as slow as your heartbeat.
the blaze from all the days
surrounds this town
and my tears turn to smoke
before they hit the ground.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Circular Reasoning

This has all been one sick circle
My only fear is the fact that circles have no end.
Should I do this again?
Maybe this time is the tangent
or maybe it’s another exhausting rotation.
It’s laying my head down at night
and not being able to focus on my ceiling
because my head won’t stop spinning
that causes all this to really hit me.
Waking up with no balance
and having to walk out my days
never seeing an end
to the vicious cycle of the sun and this shit.
If I could measure this distant diameter,
I could bridge the happiness and despair
but the circle is ever growing,
expanding, adding more area for me to lose myself in.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So Should I Break Again?

burn me once
burn me twice
and i’ll be able to hold myself down
beaten as a prisoner of war
burn me thrice
and watch my skin start to blister
am i learning a lesson,
or have i already learned and ignored?
reading what you’ve felt more than twice,
will you ever get rid of it
or will it always be in you?
so now, for the fourth time,
i return to the fire
wondering if this time i’ll see a phoenix.
.................................................
leaving a nameless epitaph
on a stone that marks the death of something i doubt was ever alive
walking away from your bullshit
clearing a path through all this tangled mess we’ve created
i try to forget everything you hated to tell me
as i fight to keep in all you hate to hear
balancing on your high wire of interwoven truths and lies
you’re on the ground enjoying the show
laughing because you play this game so well
what now?
i’m off your line and freefalling
and i’ll hit the ground running
///////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
graceful silhouettes
turning pirouettes
knowing everything
but divulging nothing
she’s the one for you
there’s nothing you can do
and i know that if i numb myself enough
i can get over you
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
your malignancy cauterizes all my common sense
this bitter vertigo keeps me stable
and if i was able to have you,
this entangled bliss would sweeten more to saccharin subtlety.
this paper dove you hold in your hands
calls to my incendiary soul
so excuse me while i burn this opportunity up.
the dawning of new, the inauguration of the old
i cant feel anymore i just dont care
but i still have this passion
that never comes into fruition
stagnant drive for completion
never to be completed.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
it's the sand at the bottom of the ocean
to stand up is to sink further
until you're up to your neck in tidal radio waves
this fucked frequency spans the Pacific
and you've turned your radio off.
-----------------------------------------------------
"Maybe you are not her."
"Maybe i'm not."
"Ever thought about that?"
"Yeah, actually, i have."
//////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
i am the dead sparrow in the park
the one whose fragile skeleton cannot endure the decay in his eyes


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