"Hey Special One?" Kat slowly looked into my room an hour later. I looked up from my book. Sometimes, when I get incredibely bored, I just pull out a book, turn on my Jonny Lang CD, and read. It puts me in an easygoing mood. + + + + + + + + + +
Zac
Have you ever met somebody who seems so out of reach that you think you'd have to push the stars aside to actually touch them? I feel that way with Ally. And I've never felt that way with anyone before. It's just like...like she's so far out of my league that I just have no chance whatsoever. Lately I've been contemplating this often. I've known her for a single week and a half and I haven't even said more than like, twenty minutes worth of words to her. I personally think that is pitiful. I should just go for her, right? It's not that easy. I wish my confidence would go BOOM, but it hasn't yet. So I think I'm just going to hang out with her a little more around the house until I get to know her well enough to just casually ask her to go out to dinner with me sometime. I mean, sure she went out to lunch with me like her second day here,but that hardly counts, because I didn't like her much then. And I like her alot now. I hardly know her, but after seeing her, hearing Kat say all these great things about her...it makes me interested.
"Hey Zac." Ally approached me slowly. I was utterly shocked. She had been acting sort of snobby towards me the whole week. I gave her a small smile.
"Uh hi Ally."
"Um, look, I'm going on a date tonight, I was wondering if you'd be so nice as to kind of keep Kat off my back. She doesn't exactly like the person I'm going out with and I don't think you do at the minute either." She said quietly. For some reason, that sparked my attention span.
"Who is it?"
"Taylor."
"Oh. What about Jake?"
"I have to go. I'll see you later." She waved and ran out, ignoring my comment about Jake. I'd been mad at Tay before. But this wasn't mad. This was furious.
+
"Yeah, Special K?"
"Um, I was just wondering if you are as pissed as I am. You know, that Ally is going out with Taylor."
"No."
"Oh. Well, okay. " She turned on her heel and walked away from my bedroom door.
I don't know why I felt as if I had to lie to her. She really probably needs someone to talk to as bad as I do.
Something about Ally and Taylor together just made me want to vomit. What happened to Gabi? Did he get rid of her so quickly? Why is my brother such an asshole? Or maybe he isn't really an asshole. Maybe he just wants a good lay and figures that's the way to get it.
Although I may seem as if I'm the male slut, I'm not. I've slept with nine women if you want to be exact. I haven't slept with anyone in two years, and I really do not need to see a therapist. Although this may sound corny, I want to...make love someday. And it will mean something, you know? It'll feel good not only physically, but emotionally too. Someday I'll do that. I don't know when. It could be in the next two months, but it'll probably be more likely in the next few years. I can't picture myself falling in love anytime soon. Not that I don't want to, it's just I don't think the right girl is out there right now. I'm sick of thinking. I'm going to bed.
"Ugh." I stumbled out of my bed and down the stairs to the kitchen for a drink of water. I didn't want to die of thirst. It doesn't seem to be a very appealing way to die if you ask me.
Ally's sob's forced me to stop in my tracks and turn towards the living room. I looked in. She was sitting on the couch,head in her hands, her hair covering her face. I walked over to her and looked down.
"A-are you okay?" I squeaked. I'm nineteen years old, I should be able to talk to girls without squeaking. She slowly looked up, the tears leaking past her nose and down her chin. She gulped.
"Y-yeah I'm fine."
I sat down next to her anyway. "What happened?"
"Oh, God, Zac, it was terrible. I met him at the time I was supposed to, we went back to his house, and he said he had to go upstairs for something. He was gone for about fifteen minutes and I started to get worried, so I went upstairs, and he was in bed with another girl..." She let her head fall back in her hands, her sobs getting louder yet. If that was possible.
"He's an asshole." I muttered under my breath. "You should've listened to Kat. She dated him for like, a year."
Ally looked up at me and the first thing I noticed was her eyes. They weren't their usual color-brown, they were a light, light green. I sat down next to her. As soon as I sat she jumped up.
"I'm going to bed." She walked away without another word said. I sighed. If I wanted to get to know her at all, I was going to have to work at it.
"Kat, tell me everything I need to know about Ally." I sat next to Kat on the couch the next morning. I was still in shock from what Ally had told me the night before.
Much to my luck, Ally is a late sleeper. I just had to ask Kat, since she knows pretty much everything about Ally and the chances of getting Ally to tell me anything were about 1/100. In other words, astoundingly slim.
"Well...okay. Here goes nothing. She's nineteen, she's single, she's a virgin, she absolutely loves to watch any movie with Tom Cruise in it. She loves playing basketball, she was on the JV team her freshman and sophmore year and the Varsity team her Junior and Senior year. She kicks ass at it, if you do ask her to play against you, you'll want to be prepared to get your ass whooped in about a millisecond. Anything you really need to know?" She asked. I thought for a second before coming up with something I wanted to know about her.
"What kind of music does she listen to?"
+
"Wow, Zac, that was absolutely amazing. I have to thank you for begging me to come with you. I had a blast." Ally flashed me a smile revealing her perfect white teeth. I loved seeing her up there, clapping her hands and laughing. It gave me a feeling of contentment knowing I'd brought her to a place she liked and just seeing her smile was wonderful.
"I had alot of fun tonight. We should hang out again sometime. " Ally suggested, flinching. I didn't want her to see the excitment I was feeling, so I just simply nodded.
"Sure. That'd be great." I agreed as we walked into the house, a smile on my face.
"Hey, Zac, you want some ice cream?" Ally asked me later that night. Kat was at work and it was just the two of us. I was sitting in the living room and Ally was searching for something to eat. Somehow, in the mess of the kitchen, she'd found something.
"Well that depends. If it's the Rocky Road stuff Kat loves, then no. But if it's Moose Tra-" I began.
"It's Moose Tracks. My favorite. Want some?"
"Yeah." I waited patiently for her to come in. She sat down next to me and grabbed the remote control impetuously from my hand. She's pushy and I like that. She turned it on Comedy Central and started laughing as soon as she spotted Jay Leno.
"Ah! I love this guy."
"Hmm. I met him a few times. We were on the show."
"I know." She responded, looking to me for a split second. She blushed and turned away.
"How did you know?"
"Well, uh, you see, my friend, Jenn, is kinda obsessed with you and your brothers, and I got used to having to watch all those specials with you guys on them. I probably know more basic stuff about you then I know about anyone in this world." She giggled. "Can I analyze you?"
"Huh?"
"You know, ask you questions. I wanna get to know a little bit more about you, since I'll be here for the rest of the summer." She responded. I nodded finally.
"Um, okay."
"Okay. Um...whole name? First, middle, last."
"Zachary Walker Hanson."
"Mmm. Favorite color?"
"Blue. Sometimes black. It depends on my mood."
"Favorite food?"
"I'll eat anything, really."
A devilish grin came across her face. "First kiss."
"I was eleven. My girlfriend of the time, Marina."
"Hmm. First girlfriend?"
"Like I remember?"
"You should."
"I thought you were analyzing me."
"I am. Just shut up." She gave me a thoughtful look, setting her bowl of ice cream down and putting her hand on her chin. She looks so...thoughtful when she does that. It's very sexy when a girl looks thoughtful.
"I'm done." She shrugged and stood up. "Hey, let's do this tomorrow night, when I'm not so tired...you know, just chill. And I'll finish analyzing you then. I'll go rent some movies. I love Tom Cruise." She winked at me and walked upstairs. I smiled to myself. Finally. Getting what I desired. A chance to get to know her better. Alot better.
"What movies did you get?" I asked Ally as she walked in later that night. She gave me an unornamented look, then glanced quickly at the movies.
"Oh. I got..." She looked at the spine's of the movie's. "American Pie, Eyes Wide Shut, and Blue Streak. They're all good." She sat down the floor, dropping the movies on the table. A simpering smile crossed her face.
"I have to finish analyzing you." She sat down across from me and dragged her index finger from her temple to her neck and rested it there.
"Birthday?"
"October twenty-second, nineteen eighty five."
"Parent's and siblings?"
"Diana and Walker...siblings, Taylor, Isaac, Jessica, Avery, Mackie, and Zoe."
"How many times have you had sex?"
"Isn't that sort of personal?" I asked. Her face flushed and she shrugged, standing up."Wait! Don't go..." I pulled her back down.
"I've slept with nine people." I tried to look away but she grabbed my hair and tugged me towards her.
"Oh. That's not too bad."
"Yeah well. You're a virgin, right?" I slipped.
"Uh...yeah, Zac, thanks for bringing it up." I felt bad at the tone of her voice. It was as if she were ashamed of being a virgin or something.
"I can't believe you've never seen American Pie." Ally giggled and slipped the movie into the VCR.
American Pie was hilarious. Ally kept making sarcastic remarks which made it even funnier. She stood and stretched her arms.
"I'm going up to bed." She started to walk away. Without giving into a second of thought, I grabbed her arm.
"Ally, tomorrow night, would you go out with me?" I began, taking a deep breath."I mean...like on a date."
"Zac, I'm shocked." A smile came onto her face. "I'd love to." She walked away without another word said.
Ally came downstairs looking just...beautiful. It's like the kind of beauty that seems so out of reach, it's like you can't touch it...you can't touch the person without permission. It's painful beauty, that's what it is.
I couldn't stop staring.
"Are you ready?" Ally asked me, barely oblivious to the way I was gaping at her. I nodded and took her hand, leading her out to the car.
"So..." Ally tried to spark up conversation, but failed when I didn't answer. It didn't matter, though, because the silence held between us was...comfortable. It was the type of silence that really didn't need words, for the silence is like a thousand words...you're just happy to be with the person.
I parked in a skinny parking spot at Wonderland Cafe and made my way to Ally's side of the car quickly, opening the door for her. She smiled and climbed out. Halfway to the door, I picked up her hand. I almost expected her to pull away, but she didn't.
"Hey, this place is...wow." Ally took one look at the place and I could tell by her facial expressions that she liked it. We sat down in a two person booth and I reached across to pick up her hand.
"Um, I'm really sorry about...Taylor. I talked to him earlier today. It just reminded me of how upset you were...and I'm just really sorry about him."
She smiled. "It's really not your fault, Zac. I mean, it's not even Taylor's. He didn't really know me."
"Yeah, I guess so." I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
She sighed. "Have you ever been in love?"
"No. I don't think so. Have you?"
She laughed. "Oh, God, no. My mom used to tell me that when you fall in love you'll feel it in the kiss. And when I feel that tingly feeling shoot up and down me, through my heart and I know he feels it too, then I'll know we're going somewhere." She shrugged.
I wanted to kiss her more than anything after that.
We stood in the doorway for a few minutes before saying anything. I looked nervously at Ally. My heart started pounding swiftly as I leaned in to kiss her, pressing my lips against hers and feeling her tongue against mine as she responded. She slipped her arms around me, her hand running up and down the nape of my neck. The feeling was amazing. The tingles shot up my body, through my heart and I couldn't help but wonder if Ally was feeling it too. It was one of those times where you just wish you could stop time and freeze it so that you could stay in that frame for as long as you needed to. Unfortunately, the world is not like that. Ally pulled away, a shocked look on her face.
"Oh, my God." She turned and shot up the stairs.
Confusion covered my mind, my soul. I didn't know what she was feeling, but what I was feeling scared me. I was falling in love with her.
Ally
I felt it...the feeling I'd explained to him and wished I could freeze the moment. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether to go downstairs and talk to him or just sit and wait for him to come up and see what he did.
Finally I came to a decision...I have to talk to him.
"Zac?" I touched his shoulder and he turned. There were tears falling down his cheeks and all I wanted to do was hold him, touch him, tell him everything was going to be okay. But truthfully, I didn't know what was going to happen.
"What?" His voice was quavering as he spoke, slowly, unsure of himself.
"Did you feel it?" My voice cracked as he pulled me into his arms.
"Feel it? Of course I did. Ally the feeling is...it's too different to let it slide by you so easily. You can't. It's impossible." The tone of his voice was...it was scared. I had never heard him sound like this nor had I imagined he would when a time like this came. This moment was one I never wanted to forget, the three words I wanted to say to him wanted to slip out of me so badly.
"Zac, something about me says you're so...different from the other guys out there. You've got this special thing, this...way to make a girl feel beautiful, incredible, amazing. I was so afraid to get close to you at first, I was terrified because of things I've heard. But I know, now, they're crazy. Zac, you have this thing inside of you that makes you an awesome person. I don't want to let someone like you pass me by." I sighed. "I don't know how to tell you."
"Tell me what?"
"You know."
"No I don't."
"Yes you do."
"Be quiet, stop arguing." He took a deep breath and looked down at his t-shirt, fumbling with a loose string. "I love you." He looked up and I noticed his facial expression was changed.
"Wow, Zac." I didn't know what to say. I wasn't exactly planning on saying the words, not like that...
"Yeah."
"I love you too." I let out a breath after I'd said the words. Then I laughed. "This is weird. I mean, we just had our first date." I smiled. "Most people don't fall in love on their first date."
"Yeah, well, you know, even after just two weeks...it's insane, but they always say love hits you when you very least expect it. And I was definitely not expecting it." He paused. "But that kiss was so amazing."
I couldn't believe this was happening. Caught up in the moment, I didn't even think about something that was really going to affect our relationship:Jake. I gasped and my face was covered in shame.
"Zac, what about Jake? This is wrong. I can't believe this. I'm so...confused." I fell down on the couch, letting my head rest in my hands. Zac sat next to me, pulling me into his arms.
The feeling I got in his arms was so uplifting that I didn't want to have to think of any of the negative things we were forced to look at. But I knew I had to snap out of it and face reality.
"Jake." Zac repeated. "You guys didn't break up? So you went out with Taylor, and me, and you still haven't broken up with Jake?" He released his hold on me.
"W-well he hasn't even called me." I pointed out. "Zac. Please. I don't want to think of anything like that tonight."
So we just sat there. We sat there, holding onto eachother as if it were the only time we could hold onto eachother, the last time we'd be able to touch eachother without someone pulling us apart. A morbid thought came into my head as Zac tightened his grasp around my waist. Maybe it is.
"Hey." Jake came up behind me four days later, pushing his lips down against mine. I tried to push him away, but he kept forcing more and more pressure onto me. Finally I pulled out of his arms.
"Go away." I struggled against him as he dragged me into the living room.
"I know about you and Zac, Ally." He shook his head. "That's very, very wrong, you know, to dishonor your boyfriend like that." He slipped his hands down my body, to my jeans and unbuttoned them. I screamed. His hands roamed my body as he pulled my jeans off and moved his left hand under my shirt. His other hand moved beneath my underwear.
"STOP IT!" I managed to sputter. I saw Jake's hand come down across my face before everything went black.
"Ally, wake up." The words were blurry, but I could make them out. My eyes didn't want to open, it felt like they were being held down by a paperweight. "Ally, baby, please, just open your eyes."
"Z-zac..." I managed. His eyes widened as I opened my own eyes.
"Are you okay?" He pulled me towards him. I rested against his chest.
"Yeah. I think...I don't remember anything."
"Jake hit you." Those words stung for some reason. I trusted him. Although I was betraying him...it was all so messed up.
"I'm going to rest a little, okay?" I moved away from Zac and walked up the stairs, turning once more."I love you."
"Al?" I heard the radio playing softly from Ally's room one week later and it drew me in. I walked towards the door and opened it without knocking. She wasn't in sight. The room itself had a magical sense in the air. There were candles lit around the room, Faith Hill and Tim McGraw's "Let's Make Love" was playing...
"Zac." Ally's voice made me turn around. She stood there, wearing a seethrough lilac colored nightgown with a seethrough open robe. I think my jaw dropped to the floor. "Can you make me forget?" She moved towards me.
"Wh-" I began, but my mouth was soon entrapped in hers. She pulled away, an intense look crossing her face.
"Please, just make me forget, Zac." She moved backwards. "Make everything dissapear. Make me forget about everything sad and unhappy and make me feel ecstatic." Her robe dropped to the floor, leaving her just wearing her seethrough nightgown. "I'm ready to make love to you. I want all of you."
She leaned in to kiss me. The kiss was full of love, desire, passion. I was afraid of losing all my self-control as I looked down at her once more.
"Are you sure, Ally?" I pulled back from her.
"God, yes, Zac, please..." She started to unbutton my shirt and it slid easily off my shoulders. Her hands found their way to my jeans and she pulled them off of me.
My heartrate increased quickly as she slowly unbuttoned the nightgown she was wearing, leaving her wearing absolutely nothing. My jaw clenched and I leaned in to kiss her, the only sound heard was the radio, Tim McGraw's voice, the words, so true to what I was feeling.
"Do you know what you've done to me/Everything inside of me/Is wanting you/And needing you/I'm so in love with you/Look in my eyes/Let’s get lost tonight/In each other..."
Drops of sweat fell down my face as I realized I was about to take a very special thing from her. Her virginity. And knowing I didn't have the same thing to return killed me.
"Ally, I'm scared to take this from you." My voice broke as I spoke quietly. "I'm afraid to hurt you."
"Zac..." She put her finger against my lips. "Shh. Please, don't be afraid...this is going to be special, special for both of us, Zac, it's going to be something we'll never forget." She whispered. Her voice was so sure that I knew what I had to do next.
"Zac," Ally curled up on my chest later that night. It was truly amazing. The feeling was far more than physical pleasure, my emotions were exploding...and it was like I felt what she was feeling. I've never felt that way before, ever.
"Yeah, Al?" I tightened my arms around her and placed my lips against her neck.
"I'm bleeding." It wasn't what I expected to hear but I wasn't shocked.
"Yeah...yeah, baby, you'll bleed for a few minutes. Are you alright?" I looked down at her. She was shaking.
"I think so."
We didn't use a condom. We decided that whatever happened was meant to happen. I had no doubt in my mind at that minute that I'd be spending the rest of my life with her, so it didn't matter what happened anyway.
Love is strange. Just three weeks ago we were hardly even friends. Now we were much, much more than friends. And she was suddenly everything to me.