A Mess ~ Part Two Continued...
by Lise

The Begining
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"You're earlier than last night," said the Queen Mother when Elizabeth arrived home. The low table beside her was full of balls of wool in all colours of the rainbow and she appeared to be working on some intricate pattern. She had a lamp that was conveniently also a large magnifying glass and she was using it to study a page from a knitting magazine.

"I'm so glad you look out for me, Mother," Elizabeth answered as she sank down on the sofa.

The Queen Mother could not help but be very proud of her pretty daughter in her ball gown, but she did not quite approve of the way Elizabeth lay on the sofa. "Linnie!" she said reproachfully. "You're wearing such a lovely dress. Don't spoil the picture by taking up such an ungainly posture."

"I'm tired. Nobody's here. We never get any visitors at night."

"I had a visitor earlier."

"You want me to ask you so I will. Who?"

"Linnie, why do take your necklace off when you're at the Prime Minister's house?"

Elizabeth groaned. So Henry had been here to return it, had he? Or he had sent someone. What was her mother thinking? "It was bothering me."

"It was attentive of him to return it."

But not so attentive of him to return it to her mother, Elizabeth thought. "Did you talk to him?" She could not imagine Henry staying on to chat to her mother.

"Not much. He was eager to go. He doesn't like talking to me much."

Elizabeth was relieved. The last thing she needed was her mother finding out about everything.

"Are you going to do anything about your birthday?" the Queen Mother asked. It was perhaps rather late to ask, since it was coming up shortly. Nothing public could be done anymore, at any rate.

"What can I do about it? It's inevitable," Elizabeth said dryly. She could not very well decide to skip a year, as much as she would like to.

"I thought you might want to give it special attention, considering that it's a nice round number."

Elizabeth looked rather horrified. "Hurrah, I'm forty?"

"It's not the end of your life. I'm eighty."

"And we had a good party for that. However, I don't think turning forty is anything special. I'll just wake up and think 'I'm forty,' maybe have a bit of cake and then live on."

"I thought you had an interview."

"No. That's not definite. They wish! I've been trying to get out of that interview for over a year now and anyway, it has nothing to do with my birthday. I wouldn't ever consent to an interview about my age. Everyone would sound like a dummy if they had to make intelligent comments about their age."

"People would like it."

"What? To hear me say all those superficial things? You know I can't give them a totally honest interview. There are things I cannot talk about."

The Queen Mother knew exactly what those things were. She nodded. "That is true, but most people would identify with your superficial comments. On a slightly different note: I happened to be speaking to Max today and he said he had received a request from that children's programme, Someone Else For A Day."

Elizabeth could see where this was leading. "Oh no. I don't suppose they had a request from a little boy wanting to be Max For A Day?" she asked sarcastically.

"A little girl wanting to be Queen For A Day."

"Oh no."

"You would be the first person to turn them down."

"Mum, of course it looks as if everyone co-operates! You don't see their failed attempts on television. You see two children per show. They might have had to turn down twenty for every two successful cases. And even if they told Max so, it would have been a lie to get me to co-operate!"

"My, my, are we cynical!" the Queen Mother chided her. "But you are right in thinking people lie to have their way. I accepted in your name and I lied a good deal."

Elizabeth was speechless from shock and anger.

"I knew that would shock you and that is why I never told you before."

"You are wrong if you think I will go along with this!"

"You have no choice. The camera crew and the girl will be here tomorrow. You can't back out of it now."

"Oh yes, I can!"

"That little girl has been looking forward to it. You cannot turn her down."

Elizabeth stared at her. "I didn't know anything about it! Nobody could blame me!" She did not want to disappoint little girls, but it was very mean of her mother to bet on that. She felt betrayed.

"Nobody knows you didn't know anything about it."

"Why are you doing this to me?" Elizabeth thought it was heartless and cruel. There were angry tears in her eyes. "You're blackmailing me! Why?"

"I have my reasons." And that was all her mother wanted to say about it. She was convinced it would be for the best. Elizabeth might hate the idea right now, but she was sure that would change tomorrow. It would show people that all these descriptions of Elizabeth had been wrong and for a mother that was an important consideration. In the future Elizabeth would need all the goodwill she could get, but of course the girl would not be aware of that yet. Things needed to grow and one needed to invest in that growth.

After fretting about it for a while, Elizabeth phoned Henry. She had told herself she would restrain her urges to abuse the direct telephone line for personal troubles, but this was an emergency case and she would be forgiven. "You'll never guess what my mother did to me now!" she cried desperately.

Henry could hear she was seriously affected. "Calm down. What happened?"

"You called the wrong person a manipulative bitch!"

"I certainly did," he commented, having his own conversation with the Queen Mother in mind. She had been manipulating him too and he did not know yet to what purpose. "What did she do?"

Elizabeth related the story to him. "How could she do this to me? She has her reasons, she said!"

While Elizabeth was solely thinking of the stress it would give her, Henry was sufficiently detached from it all to see the effects. They would depend on how Elizabeth would behave tomorrow, but they could be positive. He knew the programme. David and John liked it. He had seen it a few times and he had wondered how they had got everyone to co-operate so cheerfully. Some people had definitely improved his image of them. "Think of your image."

"My image?" Elizabeth sounded as if she did not know what that was.

"Yes, you conservative prig, your image."

"I am not a conservative prig!" she protested.

"How could I know you're not? That's what I read all the time."

"Henry!" Elizabeth whined. "Don't you support my mother in this!" She had hoped he would offer some sympathy. She did not need to hear the cold-hearted reasons for doing this -- she was perfectly capable of coming up with them herself, but the fact was that she did not want that. All she wanted was someone who agreed that it was very mean to pull this stunt on her. She was not a robot.

"I really hate to support your mother and you know it, but in this case I think I have very little choice. While I don't approve of her underhand methods, I think she has your best interests at heart." He had concluded that after his little chat with her earlier that evening. She wanted what was best for Elizabeth, but she had a very odd way of going about it.

"I fail to see how."

He could understand that and he felt sorry for her. "What time are they coming?"

"Eight o'clock!"

"You know I always come over at nine-thirty on Fridays," he said, thinking quickly.

"Could you bring one of the boys to play with this girl?" But the boys would very likely still be at school tomorrow.

"You're missing the point, Elizabeth," Henry said patiently. "The girl doesn't want to be the Prime Minister's Daughter-In-Law For A Day, but Queen For A Day. She wants to see what you do." He hoped the little girl liked Elizabeth, but he could not say that, in case Elizabeth would say the girl probably thought she was some sort of fairy queen who drank from silver cups and who dressed in pink lace.

"But that's hardly interesting on Fridays!"

"Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy my visits," he said humorously. "I'll do you a favour and come early."

Theodora woke Elizabeth at seven-thirty. "Time to get up! Didn't you set your alarm? You'll have visitors in half an hour."

"Don't tell me you knew about them." Elizabeth would not be surprised if everyone had known except her. To say she was displeased would be an understatement. She had been ignoring her alarm clock out of protest.

"I haven't known as long as your mother, but longer than you, yes," Theodora answered unperturbed. Not everything that was good for the Queen was also good for Elizabeth and she knew it, but she could not dwell on that for too long. Sometimes one had to make a choice.

"Why is everyone against me?" Elizabeth groaned. Everyone seemed to be conspiring.

Someone stepped into the room. "Good morning."

"Who let you in?" Theodora said suspiciously.

"I let myself into her sitting room, but there was nobody there," Henry replied. He stared at Elizabeth's night gown with interest. "I thought we were meeting at seven-thirty, but you don't appear to be ready yet." He did not care what Theodora might think. She probably knew anyway.

"I shall not comment on this," Theodora commented, raising her hands defensively. "But we have never had Prime Ministers who would…who would…" She could not even find words to describe what he was doing.

"Listen, we were really going to meet at seven-thirty," he said to her. "I expected her to be dressed. I did not come in her with the perverse intention to catch a glimpse of her night gown." Although he would not deny that he was enjoying the unexpected glimpse.

She wondered if he really believed she would accept that. "You are complicating matters a good deal. We've got a camera crew coming over in half an hour."

"I don't see how I'm complicating matters by just standing here."

"I need to get Elizabeth dressed." And that would impossible if he was just standing there.

Henry stared at Elizabeth, who was sitting on her bed passively, staring from one to the other. He had no idea what she was thinking, but she appeared to be rather uncooperative. "I am making your life easier."

"You are not supposed to be in here," Theodora told him.

"How long do you need to get her ready?" he asked, speaking about Elizabeth as if she was not there, which was all her own fault, because she was pretending not to be there herself.

"Fifteen minutes."

"Give me fifteen minutes alone with her and you'll still have fifteen minutes to get her ready should I fail," Henry negotiated boldly. He did not know if fifteen minutes were enough to succeed, but he could at least try.

"Alone with her? You must be crazy, Prime Minister. I cannot leave her alone with you." There was no way Elizabeth would be presentable at eight o'clock if she was left alone with Henry for fifteen minutes right now, certainly not if she was wearing a lilac silk night gown. But Theodora was curious about his plans too. "However, I'll keep an eye on you from that chair over there for fifteen minutes and let you do whatever you want to do."

"A very proper solution," he nodded appreciatively.

Theodora watched him sit down next to Elizabeth and whisper earnestly to her. She was curious what he was saying. Elizabeth was pretending not to listen at all, yet her attitude was slowly changing. His words obviously had some effect. Theodora watched them like a hawk, but it was probably because of that that she could not catch him touching her. She was probably heartless, but it was her job to make sure Elizabeth kept behaving like a queen.

Suddenly Elizabeth nodded and got up, locking herself in the bathroom. Henry stood up as well. "Do I get paid for my efforts, Theo?" He felt like a mental coach.

"If you insist on abbreviating my name, call me Teddy," Theodora told him. "What did you say to her?"

"All the reasonable things you would undoubtedly have said to her too, with the difference that I was not in on the scheme and therefore more trustworthy. The old woman fights dirty." He had a mind to tell her that some time.

"And you don't?"

"I won't say I don't fight dirty, because you'd undoubtedly prove me wrong," Henry answered. "I'll be in the sitting room. If I sacrificed an hour of sleep and my breakfast to make your job easier, how dirty could I be fighting?"

"If sacrificing your breakfast is such a big deal to you, I see no hopes for Elizabeth's happiness," she spat out. He would have to sacrifice a lot more than just his breakfast to make her happy.

He acknowledged her words by inclining his head a little and then left.

She wondered how he had known. Elizabeth must have phoned him. She doubted that Elizabeth had asked him to come over at seven-thirty. In that case she would have set her alarm for seven or so. It must have been Henry's idea to come, but why? Theodora could only guess that Elizabeth had complained to him and that he had thought she needed reassurance. Maybe she had been a little too hard on him. He was the only one who was kind to Elizabeth. The rest of them were only thinking of the Queen's image.

Elizabeth came out of the bathroom in her bathrobe and looked surprised not to see Henry anymore. "Where did he go?"

Theodora decided that telling her the truth would undo Henry's work. Elizabeth looked much brighter now and if she heard Henry had probably left in anger, she would be back to her uncooperative self again. "He was hungry."

"Oh."

"Linnie, I'm sorry we're putting you through this." That was Teddy speaking in her capacity as a friend.

"It's a bit late for remorse now, Teddy," Elizabeth said cheerfully.

Teddy was amazed. "What did Henry say to you?" They had been miraculous words. How could Elizabeth be so forgiving suddenly?

"He would have told you if he wanted you to know." Elizabeth threw her bathrobe onto her bed and randomly picked a pair of trousers from a closet. "Teddy, you get paid to advise me about my clothing. Don't just sit there."

Theodora wondered where her loyalties lay. Were they with the Queen Mother, the Queen or with her friend Elizabeth? And how could she keep everyone happy? She felt duplicitous protecting the Queen from Elizabeth. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by it all and she began to have some insight into Elizabeth's complications. "Linnie…I can't follow it anymore."

"Follow what?" Elizabeth was busy taking a blouse off a hanger.

"You and Henry and your mother's intentions."

"That wasn't Henry you saw just now. That was the Prime Minister and he assured me my mother's intentions were good and I have to believe him."

"Why wasn't it Henry?" Teddy asked weakly. It had looked an awful lot like Henry to her. "Do you mean Henry's even worse?"

"That's really difficult, Teddy." Elizabeth buttoned up the blouse and looked at herself in the mirror. "We're all schizophrenic, for one. I also couldn't let him be Henry because you were there. Elizabeth would have told you she would have liked to hug him or something, but I left Elizabeth behind in the bathroom."

"You're crazy." And the scary thing was that Theodora understood her perfectly.

Henry was glad he had not run into the Queen Mother. She would only ask him if he had looked for signs and he had not. To be quite truthful he could only see that a woman was pregnant if she was nearly due. That was the only sign he knew.

He had gone down to the kitchens to ask for something to eat and they had made him something. It was true that Theodora's remark had hit him as hard as she had intended, but he was not the type to run off in a huff. He deserved the accusation, because at the moment he was still not sure what he wanted to sacrifice.

When it was time for his visit he had gone to the usual room. Elizabeth had done really well, he thought. It did help that the girl was truly interested and that she asked many questions. It meant that all Elizabeth had to do was answer and explain.

There was one instance he could still laugh at, which was when Elizabeth had received a phone call during their meeting. "Tanks?" she had said in disapproval. "Why do you want to talk to me about tanks? Oh, the Prime Minister's office said he was here, did they? He isn't. I'm sure he does. He's a boy. All boys want to buy tanks, but the world is not made up of boys alone. No, I will not consider listening. I'm against tanks. If you want to sell tanks, you're talking to the wrong person. He'll be in his office in the afternoon."

"We do need tanks," he had protested mildly after she had hung up. The armed forces needed to modernise their material.

"Nobody needs tanks. If you order tanks, you're going to lose all female voters."

He had laughed incredulously and they had had a nice argument about that -- the pacifist versus the realist. Although it might mean that she would blow the tank deal if they showed this on television, he did hope that they would keep it in. This gave a more complete picture of Elizabeth than just the polite lady who was giving the tour. That would be rather too bland and not in keeping with her existing image. This tank argument was more believable, although it showed that she was not really difficult, only that she could be very indignant if she liked.

"Why do we need tanks if we've got you!" he had exclaimed at one point. "You're just as effective."

While it was well-known that he could deal with such remarks if they came his way, nobody knew this about Elizabeth because not many people dared to speak to her like that. "I'm cheaper too!" she had shot back with a smile. "That settles it. I'm glad you agree with me. No tanks."

When he had returned to his office, the tank people had called again and he had deferred them until after the Christmas holidays. It was not only the tank issue he had to think about, but also Elizabeth's obvious belief that it was her holy mission to save him from making useless purchases. She had said so herself. There was evidently absolutely no way she would give up this privilege and obligation. No, it would have to be him who had to give up his job. He had not been born with a holy mission, after all.

Henry also spoke to some people about the Queen Mother's orders -- his assistant and closest civil servants and advisors. "She wants us to make it possible for Elizabeth to get married without permission."

Howard wondered if this was in any way connected to Lord Setchley himself, but he could not say so, because Gordon and the others were not aware of the situation. Perhaps the Queen Mother was afraid Parliament would not find Lord Setchley acceptable. It would be a bit strange if they found him acceptable to rule and represent the country, but not acceptable to be the Queen's husband. "Why, My Lord? Is there an unsuitable man on the horizon?" Howard thought that if a committee reviewed all suitable candidates in the country, Lord Setchley had a fairly large chance of turning up on the list, being an unmarried nobleman. Perhaps the man should keep that in mind, instead of focusing on the high drama of his affair. But perhaps the Queen was not held back from throwing herself into his arms by his unsuitability at all -- perhaps she was merely held back because she did not want to throw herself into his arms and the unsuitability was a good excuse.

Henry's eyes shot daggers. "I think it has more to do with her daughter's age."

"I see the point. So the Queen Mum is rather afraid Elizabeth will meet a man only a few months before her biological clock stops ticking, is she? And that it will take Parliament too long to give permission."

"I think that's it," Henry said. He knew he could count on Howard to translate the direct to indirect and vice versa.

"But we cannot completely do away with the permission part." Howard scratched his head as he was thinking. "Nobody is going to accept that."

"What about freedom of choice?"

"Doesn't apply to these people. They have to have a respectable partner. The only way we could twist it would be to make it free for Royals over forty," Howard suggested. "But we would possibly be sacrificing the respectability of the partner for the possibility of children. It's a tough choice. Suppose that in the future we'd have a terrible male Royal, over forty, for whom it would be best if he didn't procreate, but he'd be allowed to get married to some highly undesirable woman of easy virtue without anyone stopping him?"

"You always see the worst in things."

"It might work if we narrowed our specifications down to single female monarchs over forty."

Henry stared at him. "I dare you to propose something as obvious as that to our own single female monarch who is soon to be over forty." He did not know what she would do precisely, but he did not think she would take it calmly.

"She's not stupid, is she? She must have considered this matter herself."

"If she knows she can't have children, she will not have considered her age to be significant."

Howard frowned. "So we're supposed to make it easier to have children for someone who can't have children?"

Henry rested his face in his hands. "This is not going to work. If such a law were passed she would know it was directed at her. We are such bastards." This thought struck him all of a sudden. They ought to despise themselves for trying to run someone else's life. What gave them the right to decide about such personal matters?

"Why, My Lord?"

"Because we are. Who are we to decide for her whom she's allowed to marry? Who are we to rub her nose in something painful? I've had enough of it. I'll be back after the holidays." He gathered his coat and briefcase with a deep sigh. "Happy Christmas to all of you."

"Eh?" said Gordon when the Prime Minister's sudden departure had left them all gaping. "What's going on?"

"I think he got his own nose rubbed in something painful," Howard surmised.

Henry's head was spinning as he packed his clothes for two weeks in his country house. He could not help but think about how cruel and insensitive they actually were. It was true that sacrificing one person's happiness for the greater good of the nation was something that occurred on a day to day basis, but he happened to love that one person and that made a difference right now. Perhaps he would always have remained blind if he had not loved her.

In the coming two weeks he would stop thinking about what looked right, he decided. He would only do what felt right and he would start by picking up the children from school today, instead of tomorrow. It had been more convenient to him to let them stay an extra night, but he now felt this was selfish. He would pick them all up today, even if it cost him the entire evening.

He phoned Elizabeth from the car -- hands free, for he had to give the correct example. Only her voicemail was on. "I'll be at my country house for two weeks," he said. He wondered what else to say.

A few miles further on he called her again. It was still the voicemail. "You know where that is, don't you?" He wondered if he should invite her, but if he did, it would be such a blow if she did not accept. He broke the connection when he realised he had dropped a long silence.

At the first roadside restaurant he left the motorway and he parked his car to make a longer call. He could not concentrate on both the road and the call at the same time. "I would like it if you called me some time while I'm there." He would like it even better if she came. "Not about work, Linnie. I'm a bit fed up with work at the moment. I have two weeks off and I need them. I wish you happy holidays and…" Oh why not say it? "…you're always welcome. I…love you."

Elizabeth had heard her phone ring, but she had ignored it. She had only two days left to write a Christmas speech. For the first two years she had let others write it for her, but she had spent so much time adapting it that she had decided she might as well write it from the start. Now it was like being back in school, labouring over an exam, but after this exam she would be free as well.

Her mother was going to spend a few weeks with a younger sister abroad and this had left Elizabeth with the choice to go with her -- something she had originally planned on doing because she always spent Christmas with her mother -- or to go to Teddy. That had been a last moment invitation and it had sounded infinitely more appealing, if only because of the company. Celebrating her birthday in the company of a bunch of elderly relatives did not appeal to her at the moment.

After doubting for a while she had accepted Teddy's invitation. "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Elizabeth had said sadly. "For only knowing two people I could spend the holidays with."

Teddy had smiled. She had not been so sure there were only two people Elizabeth could spend time with. "Isn't it more so that you can't spend your birthday with anyone else without them thinking there is something wrong with you? You go off to anyone you like at Easter and in the summer." Or rather, Elizabeth went off to one of her villas in Italy and invited people.

That had been true. Spending her birthday or Christmas apart from her closest relative always led to rumours about fights and disagreements. Besides, those days were not the same if she spent them with others. She should spend them with people she loved. Elizabeth sighed as she did a word count on the word 'love' in her Christmas speech. It appeared altogether too many times. Once more and she would sound like a hippie.

But she could not help feeling a little spiritual, idealistic or hopeful, or however she should call it, after she had listened to Henry's messages on her voicemail. What she would really like, she admitted to herself, was to spend the coming days with him. Somehow that thought did not distract her from writing her speech, but only motivated her.

There were more people who wanted to spend those days with Henry. Mary was still in class when he arrived at her school. Most girls would leave that evening and only some would leave tomorrow. She had not liked it much that he had said he would come on Saturday, but she had accepted it, although she had secretly been hoping that he would find time to come sooner.

Henry first had to go to the headmistress to sign Mary out. The school wanted to make sure the girls did not get lost, so they had the rule that anyone picking up a girl should ask the headmistress for permission, after some cases in the past in which girls had gone missing during the holidays with nobody knowing who had taken them from school.

Usually signing his name on a list sufficed, but today the headmistress protested against the early hour. "School is not yet over for the day."

"I'm taking her now anyway," Henry said. And if she did not like that, he would take Mary from school.

"It's against the rules."

"I have more to do today. I've got some boys to pick up as well." It was a long drive to the boys' school from here. If he did not leave on time the boys might be in bed. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but he would like to pick them at a decent hour anyway.

"I cannot make an exception for you just because you're the Prime Minister." She could still recall when he had first come here, two years ago. He had just been made Prime Minister and she had thought that the sudden responsibility for three children was last on his list. Dumping them at boarding schools had been the only solution.

"Then I'll take her from school."

She stared at him. "Take her from school? How would you cope with that?"

"That'll be my concern."

"You barely have time to entertain them during the holidays," she said, shaking her head. Either his sister had picked Mary up, or he had done so a day late and returned her a day early. And at the school's anniversary it had been the Queen who had looked after Mary.

"Yes, I might have been focusing on the wrong things," Henry said impatiently. "But now that I do have time, you refuse to let Mary go. I'm taking Mary home now. Where's that list?" He stood up and looked around himself.

Grudgingly she handed him the list and he signed it. Then she picked up the phone. "Please send Mary this way. Her uncle is here to pick her up." Could she still say uncle? He had been an uncle in the beginning, no more than that, but he had developed into something more.

Everyone looked up when the phone rang. Most girls were wishing someone was there to pick them up, except for the few with a guilty conscience who feared the headmistress had one last score to settle with them before the Christmas break.

"Mary? Would you please see the headmistress?" the teacher asked her.

Mary knew she had not done anything wrong, so it could not be that. However, she feared Henry had called to say he would not be able to make it until Sunday, or something like that.

"Your uncle --"

Oh God. He had called. Her face fell. She would have to spend an extra day at school.

"-- is here."

Mary beamed. He was here! She could only stand there with a grin. He had come a day early and she was the first to be picked up.

"He's upstairs," the teacher said in amusement when Mary did not move. "You'd better hurry."

She ran upstairs, pausing for a moment outside the headmistress' office to catch her breath and to look as calm and dignified as the headmistress would expect of a fifteen-year old pupil. But her delight was evident as she stepped into the room.

Henry gave the headmistress a triumphant look. See? He was doing the right thing and it felt good. He had not realised that a day or even a few hours could make such a difference to the children. It put him in even more of a hurry to go and pick up the boys. "Go and pack your things. We have more to do," he said with a smile.

"I already packed them yesterday," Mary revealed. She had called it wishful thinking, but she had thought she should be ready, just in case.

"Go and get your suitcase. I'll wait here." He watched her run off.

It was sometimes hard to distinguish between pupils and their parents. There were times when the latter needed more educating. "Mary will be glad to be the first out for a change," said the headmistress to Henry. She hoped he would understand the unspoken rest of the message: that Mary was usually the last to be picked up. He probably did not even realise that.

"So you do not completely disapprove of me."

"I can make a distinction between you and your actions."

"Oh, is that it. A responsible action of an irresponsible man." Henry felt unjustly accused. He had always solved the problems in his time table to everyone's satisfaction. It was none of her business how he made his arrangements and that it was sometimes a choice between a day late or not at all.

She smiled at his words. The reason why she had protested against his taking Mary was not because he was irresponsible, but because other parents would not understand this. They would think she had a different set of rules for the famous. There were a few girls at school who had parents who worked hard as well and who might also prefer different times. However, the whole of the Prime Minister's circumstances made his case an exception and he was not as irresponsible as he seemed to fear. "Fortunately you seem capable of asking the right people to step in."

"If you're referring to the school's anniversary, I should say that any stepping in was done without my knowledge, so I wonder that you even credit me with arranging for replacements. But what do you mean, the right people?" Henry looked at her curiously. Right for what?

"The Queen."

"She offered to pass on my apologies. I didn't ask her anything."

"She said you did." The headmistress was intrigued by the slight panic he displayed upon her mentioning the Queen, as intrigued as she had been when she had learnt that Mary had met the Queen in a restaurant nearby. Her hearing of that had been a coincidence. She had taken someone there a few days later and the waitress had told her about it. Elizabeth had not been so unrecognisable as Mary had been thinking, which was not surprising given that she had lived in this area herself. It had understandably been odd that the same girl would meet the Queen on Saturday and the Prime Minister on Sunday and the headmistress had not needed a description to know which girl it had been. There was only one who knew both. It had puzzled her why Elizabeth had met Mary. She supposed they had got along that one time, but this had been weeks later.

"She would," Henry said quietly. It would have sounded suspicious if she had not said that.

"Why?" To her it seemed more logical that he would say he had not asked anything, not the opposite. People always wanted to make themselves look better, not worse. There was something here that puzzled her.

Henry looked at her helplessly. "I can't explain." He would give too much away if he attempted an explanation. "I happened to mention the dilemma and she offered to give my apologies. I hadn't expected her to do anything else, because she'd looked rather cross with me. What Mary told me surprised me."

"It surprised me too," said the headmistress. She had known Elizabeth since she was twelve and a pupil at this school. A sensitive girl underneath that attitude. Yes, she would feel for these two girls, in her heart, but she would not act upon that feeling and certainly not if she felt Henry was shirking his responsibilities. There had to be a third force at work here, either reason or another feeling.

Elizabeth had felt stronger about something else that was more important and it could not be the girls, because she had never met them. She had, however, met Henry and obviously respected him more than she disapproved of him. Respect probably did not cover it all, but one should not speculate about how the Queen would feel about the Prime Minister, although every piece of information in this case begged for some speculations. "But I assumed you had managed to convince her to do it somehow," the headmistress said. Not many women would refuse his requests, she supposed, but she had been thinking Elizabeth could.

"Why is it so strange that she volunteered?" he wondered.

"That wouldn't have been strange," the headmistress corrected him. "What surprised me was that you had managed to convince her to do it." A woman with the strong sense of fairness and honesty -- instilled in her by this school -- was not easily swayed by smooth talk, she would think, but perhaps she had had a too good opinion of one and a too bad of the other. Perhaps they were both a little less extreme than she had thought, in which case, yes, Elizabeth would have complied with such a request.

Henry frowned at her. "It would not be strange if it was her idea, but only if it was mine?"

"Yes."

He pondered the thought. "Yes, you're right. She can be like that, but I still find it stranger for her to come up with the idea to entertain two girls she doesn't know."

The headmistress looked at him. "I was only a young teacher when Elizabeth was at this school, but we all looked at the Crown Princess, even if she wasn't in our class. In all those years we saw the King just once. It's quite easy to forget that the King was also a father and some people couldn't think of him like that. They were also the ones who praised his daughter for her manners on Parents' Day -- so calm, behaved and mature that you could really see she was to be a queen someday." She paused a few seconds for effect. "I don't know if she ever cried. She probably never got the chance to hide during celebrations."

"I…see," Henry said slowly. "Do you think she wanted to?"

It had been hard to tell with Elizabeth and she had never been able to say that with absolute certainty until this year's anniversary. "In all my years at this school I have never seen a girl who didn't if hers were the only parents who were absent."

He was silent for a few moments as he considered the information. "Thank you. You've made matters much clearer for me. I see why both were upset with me and why they --" he broke off when Mary returned. She had really been quick.

Henry carried Mary's suitcase as they walked to the car. "So, which interesting subject are you missing right now?" he teased. She was probably happy to miss it and he did not think she would be learning any new things on the last day of school.

"Interesting? History!"

"So you're not actually missing anything, because I'm contemporary history," Henry said to justify his picking her up early. He was not depriving her of any important information.

"Blaah!" Mary answered. "You shouldn't say that about yourself." And she could not care less if she missed anything. When she got back after the holidays was soon enough to ascertain that.

"But it's true."

"I know, but it sounds arrogant."

"Alright," Henry said meekly, but with a smile.

"If my teacher asks if I did any extra work to compensate, I'll say you explained the precise relationship between politics and the monarchy, because that is your favourite topic," Mary said with a naughty grin. "Very educational."

Henry burst out laughing. It was so right, considering that he had just been talking to the headmistress about this same subject. He was really bad -- and predictable. "I promise I won't talk about that subject." He could talk about it, but too much and he had nothing very educational to say.

"I don't mind if you do."

"It wouldn't be fair," he replied. The children would need some attention. He should not be more interested in something else.

"But our class has to do a project on it." Mary looked at him with wide innocent eyes.

"On…" He could hardly believe it. What if they found out?

"Got you!" Mary laughed. She began to squeal when he tickled her.

Elizabeth had been invited by some organisations of which she was the patroness. She had dinners on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, lunches on Saturday and Sunday, but the rest of the time she was free to work on her speech. It would be taped on Monday morning, to leave her enough time to attend the party for her staff on Monday afternoon. Everything was tradition with a capital T and to change this would be unthinkable, but since she had very little else to do, it did not even enter her mind to change it.

Theodora had not yet informed her relatives she would have an extra guest for Christmas. They would see it as soon as they saw Elizabeth. She was not one hundred percent certain that Elizabeth would stay, after all. There was always Henry.

She thought about the man. It would not take a lot of effort to feel attracted enough to Henry to kiss him, she supposed, just like it would not take a lot of effort to take action upon seeing Elizabeth in a bikini. However, that had not meant they loved each other. She guessed they did, after observing them, but she had been of the opinion that Henry telling Elizabeth he loved her was of little use in their present situation. Someone or something had to give.

Henry had gone up a little in her estimation after Friday morning. He had taken the risk to come here and she had no idea what he had said, but it had worked. Elizabeth had become a very sociable and cheerful creature after that. Surprisingly enough Henry had become a little less sociable and cheerful. He had been serious and formal and he had kept his amusement under control. That had been good in a way, Teddy thought, because there had been the camera crew and it would have been too suspicious if Elizabeth and Henry had appeared very good friends. He had not even given her a proper goodbye when he had left. At least, Teddy did not think either of them had been satisfied with a formal handshake. She would not be.

Of course it was so that one had to take a step backwards if the Queen was the centre of attention and if the Queen had to take a step back because there was a girl who was the centre, Henry had to take two steps back. He had said this to her during a brief moment when both of them were somewhere behind the camera. "It's interesting to see it from here for once," he had also said. "Out of the spotlights. And I think Her Majesty also finds this forced demotion quite interesting." He had said that a little mockingly, but Teddy knew he was right. She had noticed that herself and she was surprised that someone else could read her friend as well as she could.

Amanda was surprised to see Henry turn up at the boys' school. She had not heard from him, but she had heard from David that he would not be picked up until Saturday. Henry might be upset if she said anything about that, so she had not. On no account did she want to give him the impression that she thought he was incapable of raising the children. It was his life and his older sister should stay out of it as much as possible.

She nevertheless stuck her arm through his and led him away for a private chat as soon as she had greeted him and Mary. "Henry…"

"Yes, sister?" he said patiently.

"I forgot to mention this. A while back I read something about sexy boxer shorts."

"Really?" Henry did not see what this had to do with him. It was not something he was remotely interested in.

"Have you begun to buy your own undergarments or was this somebody's fantasy?"

He looked amazed as he connected her two comments. "What do you mean? Did somebody write that I have sexy boxer shorts?" He wondered how anyone could know what he was wearing if he never took his clothes off in public.

"Yes. If you do, I wonder if we need to keep on buying you things. Perhaps someone else does it for you or you have changed your tastes." Either Amanda or their mother supplied Henry with useful and small clothing items after they had judged that he was obviously not good at buying them himself. Neither of them, however, had ever given him anything that could be labelled as sexy.

"Is this really a practical question?" Henry wondered suspiciously. He had no objection to practical questions. Shopping for such things was something he gladly left to the women. However, sexy things were rarely connected to practicality.

"You know me!" Amanda protested.

"That's precisely why I'm asking. So what's your real motive?"

"Should I go on buying the same things? Tell me when I'm -- when this will get you into trouble with her."

"With whom?" Henry stared at her uncomprehendingly. Did she mean his mother? It was true that his mother's taste was somewhat more conservative than Amanda's, but he did not see why this would cause trouble.

"Oh, you oaf!" she cried. "Forget it. Don't worry about it." She let go of him and walked back to the rest of the family.

Henry was glad to break off the conversation, puzzled as he was.

Early in the morning on the 25th of December, Elizabeth got out of bed. She had arrived here at Theodora's house late last night and she had gone almost straight to bed. Teddy would know she was not staying, but it was nicer to leave a little note.

Dear Teddy,
I have fallen ill; how tragic. You'd seen the signs already, hadn't you? If you hadn't, I'm terribly sorry. I'll see you when I recover (and when you'll be able to use your car again; sorry about that too.)
Linnie.

Elizabeth changed quickly and took her toilet bag downstairs. Only the note on the dresser and the night gown that lay forgotten on the bed were signs that she had been here in the room. She loaded her suitcase into Teddy's car very quietly and then, closing the door to the house behind her, she took a deep breath. She was about to do something very exciting.

When she got into the car she first adjusted everything to her needs and fastened her seatbelt before she turned the key and slammed the door. Then she drove off, fast.

Elizabeth arrived at the house very early. She wondered if anyone was up yet, but luckily there was a light on in the living room. She tapped the window and a cute little boy in light blue pyjamas peered out. He understood her gestures, because he came to open the front door. "Good morning," she said to him, trying to remember if this was David or John. "John, isn't it?"

He nodded, unsure of what she wanted.

"Do you remember me?" It was hard to tell from his blank look.

He stared at her for a while and then nodded again. She had been nice. She had given them her orange juice and she had a nice voice.

"Can I come in?"

He stepped aside and then closed the door behind her very quietly.

Elizabeth followed him into the living room. He had been playing with Lego blocks. "Is everyone else still asleep?" she asked. It was not even seven o'clock yet, so she did not expect anyone to be up.

"Yes." John dropped down on the floor to resume playing. "Can you build a post office?" He could build houses, but they would not look right. He knew there was very little else to do for a visitor at this time of the day.

She sat down as well, looking into the box. There were enough blocks in there to build several houses. It would not be a problem. "I think so. Do you want me to build one?"

"Yes. I need a post office. This is the postman." He showed her a little man in a contraption on wheels. Apparently it was supposed to be a car.

Elizabeth took off her shoes and started building the post office.

After the post office Elizabeth had rebuilt the postman's car and several other things that John had deemed essential for the village. It had been quite an interesting experience to be told how she should build everything. John did not suggest or ask anything, he merely said how he wanted it. Nobody else ever spoke to her so directly. She did not mind John's orders. If she said they were impossible he was happy to accept her alternative too.

At nine o'clock John decided it was time for breakfast. "I'm hungry. Shall we have breakfast?"

"Don't you have to wait for the rest of the family?" Elizabeth wondered.

"I don't want to wait. They're so slow. Most of them are still in bed," said John, sounding sceptic about the possibility of seeing them downstairs soon.

Elizabeth had got up at five o'clock to sneak out of the house and she had not eaten anything yet, so she felt a little hungry too. She made them some tea. The table in the kitchen was already set for breakfast, so they should wait for everyone to arrive. "Why don't you get dressed after you've finished your tea, John?" she suggested. He had to be cold in his pyjamas.

He shook his head, looking at his post office anxiously, as if someone would demolish it the second he left the room.

"I'll look after it," Elizabeth promised him. He loved that building, even though in the beginning he had said she should put the post office sign over the door, like Henry always did. Apparently Henry knew there was a sign before he started building, but Elizabeth did not and she had already finished when John came with this comment. She had put the sign outside.

He scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room. "Your tea," she called after him, to no avail. She looked around the room when he was gone. There was a Christmas tree with presents underneath in one of the corners. It looked very cosy. She would love to stay if Henry let her.

John wanted to continue playing when he returned and he pulled at Elizabeth's hand, even though she was drinking her tea. "Co-o-ome," he insisted.

"Just a minute."

"But David might be coming," he said anxiously.

Elizabeth grabbed him around the waist and pulled him onto the deep lazy chair she was sitting in. "Just a minute. If they touch your house, I'll send them away." That seemed to reassure John, because he drank his tea quietly. Elizabeth had already put her cup down and she waited for him to finish. She felt her eyes close now and then and eventually she dozed off.

Henry found them both asleep when he came downstairs. He stood staring at them for several minutes, overwhelmed by his feelings. He was glad Mary and David were still getting dressed. Elizabeth had come! And she got along with John. That was also something that made him happy, because John was very particular about which people he chose to talk to. He certainly would not climb onto anyone's lap and fall asleep there.

He looked around for clues as to what they had been doing together. They had drunk tea, he could see that. And someone had been playing with the Lego blocks -- both of them, he decided when he saw Elizabeth's shoes lying there. Yes, definitely. The houses were a little too well-built for John. It pleased him enormously that she would play with John. This proved again that she was wonderful.

What he really wanted to do was wake them up, but they looked so lovely sleeping that he could not. He touched both faces lightly to feel they were real and then went to get breakfast ready.

"Happy Birthday!" said Mary when she came into the kitchen and she hugged him. "Can I help?" She looked at what he was doing.

"Thank you, darling, but I'm almost done." Henry glanced at the table. "Er…well, what you could do is fold an extra napkin." She had folded four napkins into some pretty shape last night and there was no way he could imitate that. And they needed one extra now.

"An extra napkin?" Mary looked at the table as well. She could see four and there were only four people, or so she had been thinking. "Er…do you mean for an extra plate?" She bit her lip, trying to conceal her excitement. Could they be having a guest?

"Yes!"

She laughed at his face. "You sound really happy about that." She did not have to guess at the guest's identity.

"I am," Henry assured her with a grin. "You don't mind that she came, do you?" he asked anxiously. Perhaps the children would consider this an intrusion.

Mary shook her head. "It's your birthday and it's Christmas. We should all be happy and if you are happy, we will be happy too."

Henry gave her a hug. "Thank you. When you've finished the napkin, could you run upstairs to my closet and get a present that's in there?"

"Oh! You knew she was coming?"

"No, I didn't. I left a message on her voicemail on Friday saying she was always welcome."

Mary smiled at his tone. "I'm glad she understood your invitation." She was happy for him. He had probably been hoping since Friday. She had been fantasising too, but she had never really thought it possible that Elizabeth could come here.

David appeared as Mary was folding the napkin. He looked excited. "Daddy, there's woman in the living room," he said in a loud whisper, as if he was afraid he would be overheard.

"Really?" Henry asked in amusement. He thought David would know who Elizabeth was. Apparently he was too shy to say it.

"Yes!"

"Which woman?"

David shuffled his feet. "You know, that one."

"That one?" Henry inquired.

"You like her. That one."

"Oh, that one."

"She told me not to touch the post office." David was a bit miffed that women who did not live here could tell him to stay away from the post office.

"She's awake?" Henry nearly cried and Mary snorted. She was sure he wanted to run into the living room to check.

"No," said David. "I don't think so. She was sleeping."

"How could she talk to you if she is asleep?"

"I don't know. I'm hungry."

Mary finished the napkin and put it on an extra plate. Then she ran upstairs to look into Henry's closet.

Henry inspected David's clothes. "Don't you think you should wear something nicer?" he asked. He did not care how they looked on his birthday, but they would be having breakfast with Elizabeth now. They should look presentable.

"No," David said stubbornly. "I like this. I want to play outside after breakfast."

Mary did not pass through the kitchen on her way to the Christmas tree. She had found the present, a small box, and she wondered what it contained. Oh well. They would see it eventually. She was surprised to see John sitting on Elizabeth's lap. He appeared to be asleep and Elizabeth smiled at her when she came in. Mary hid the present behind her back automatically and first dropped it under the tree before she approached their guest. "Hi."

"I hope you don't mind that I'm here," Elizabeth said softly.

Mary shook her head. "How did you get here?" She wondered if there were again some men with Elizabeth, just like that time when they had met in the restaurant near school. Would they be outside?

A wide grin appeared on Elizabeth's face. "I stole Teddy's car very early this morning when everyone was still asleep." It was by far the most exciting thing she had ever done.

Mary's mouth fell open. "So…nobody knows you're here?"

"Teddy will guess," Elizabeth shrugged. "But she won't do anything about it. Your brothers are such sweeties." She glanced at the boy on her lap. The boys had worried her the most, because she did not know them well. She had not known what they would think of her. Fortunately this one seemed not to mind her visit and the other one had only looked rather surprised.

"Uhh," Mary's face betrayed her doubt. "Allow me to disagree." They could be incredibly irritating.

Elizabeth laughed. "Where is Henry?" She was dying to see him.

"He's already seen you. He's being a bit nervous in the kitchen."

"I can understand that. I'm not really without nerves myself. It's best not to ask myself what I'm doing." She lay her cold hand on John's cheek. "What do you say? Shall we go and have breakfast? I'm sure Henry's finished by now."

John cleared his nose with a sniff. "Yes." He opened his eyes and slid to the floor.

Elizabeth had just suggested breakfast, but she did not know if she was able to swallow anything. The thought of seeing Henry again was making her more than a little nervous and that was even without wondering about what other people might think about her being here. She stood up as well, but hesitated to follow John to the kitchen.

Mary watched her close her eyes and open them again. A little push was needed here. She placed her arm around Elizabeth and pushed her. "We're all hungry. Hurry."

There was not much they could do with three interested children looking on. Elizabeth hugged him a little stiffly at first, but they soon relaxed enough to forget about them.

"Er…I'll pour the tea," Mary decided in order to keep her eyes off them. "David, John, don't look." Her brothers were staring open-mouthed.

"Is that Daddy's girlfriend?" David asked with an excited giggle.

Mary shot another look at them. "Er…I think we can safely say that, yes." She felt a bit embarrassed to look at it. This should be a private thing.

"Oh sorry," said Henry when he noticed the boys were gaping at him in fascination. He let go of Elizabeth. They might have taken a little too long.

"Will you be normal now, Daddy?" David asked.

"I'd rather not, but I'll try if you want me to," Henry replied.

"I'll sit between the boys," Elizabeth decided with a smile. "We'll be very normal. Happy birthday, Henry," she said as she sat down. She had not said that yet.

"Happy birthday, Elizabeth," he answered. "So, how does it feel to be forty?" he asked with a wink.

"Marvellous," she said sincerely. And it did feel marvellous to be here.

"Linnie," Henry said towards the end of the day when it was getting darker outside. The children were playing in another part of the house and the room looked very romantic. Nobody had ever thought of lighting candles before. "I think we should get married." Elizabeth was lying on the couch with her legs draped over him. He had been observing her all day and this was what he had come to feel more strongly every hour. The children and he had come to be more and more like a real family over the past two years and it was as if Elizabeth was the last piece that had been missing. It only had to be fit in the proper way.

She glanced at him with a happy smile. "Oh Henry. You know I'd go along with anything you suggested right now, but don't you think --"

"I'm determined not to think until the end of the holidays," he answered.

…The Queen will be spending Christmas in the family circle…

Teddy was not looking forward to having security men hang about her house for goodness knew how long. There was absolutely no need for them to stay if Elizabeth was not here. She confronted them with this fact after debating with herself if this was a loyal action. Considering that Elizabeth had not told her beforehand of her defection, Teddy did not feel a full-blown accomplice. "I think you've got a small problem, gentlemen. Your charge has escaped…" As she spoke those words she wondered why there were there in the first place if they could not even prevent Elizabeth from running away. They could not have prevented anyone from taking her either.

They looked at her in amazement. Their charge had never considered escaping before. She had never even behaved in an irresponsible manner.

"…and she will not be back until she feels like it."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. I only know she will be back. Don't bother to look for her. You won't find her. I suggest you go home until I phone you that she's returned."

They found this solution unacceptable, although Teddy reasoned that they could not do anything about the situation. "We should inform our superior so he can inform the Prime Minister."

Teddy coughed. She had overlooked this bit and Elizabeth had too, probably. "Aye, there's the rub."

"Why? He needs to be told about her disappearance. I think you're estimating the seriousness of this matter." The man thought she was far too calm.

"Why don't you phone him directly?" Teddy suggested. The fewer people who knew about this, the better. She gave him the number.

After making the call, one of the men returned to her. "He says he knows where she is and he told us to go home." They all looked uncertain.

"I think this overrules your orders."

But the security men still did not understand. "How could he know where she is? How could he not be worried?"

"He would have told you if he had wanted you to know," Teddy answered with a shrug. "You're welcome to stay, but it's no use. She's not here."

"I know. We've checked. If you know where she is, Madam, I beg you to tell us. It is our job to protect the Queen."

"Fine job you've been doing," Teddy countered.

He winced. "We have to strike a balance between protection and privacy."

"And she wants privacy now. Leave her alone."

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Henry from behind. "What are you doing?" He had been behind the computer for ages.

"I found," he said, taking off his glasses. "That your mother doesn't know anything about it. She's foreign and she's been applying her foreign laws to you. She told me I had to make it possible for you to get married without permission, but I discovered something interesting. It's only your descendants who have to ask for permission -- yours -- to get married. Apparently the law was created under the assumption that the monarch would be married already, because I cannot find anything that applies to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I could be overlooking it, but it doesn't say anywhere that you have to ask anybody for permission."

"Does that mean I could just get married?"

"The law seems to assume you are wise enough to pick a good candidate."

"But I'm not, am I?" Elizabeth asked teasingly.

Henry turned his head to kiss her. "No, you're not."

After deciding they really ought to practise some arguments and reasons, Henry and Elizabeth spent two hours thinking up official-sounding phrases and rules. Henry looked very serious and he tried to hide his amusement upon hearing his intended bride arrange everything according to her fancy. "Let's act this out, darling. Let's pretend I'm a Registrar who knows nothing about royal marriages."

"I wish to make this man my husband," she said imperiously. "Today."

Henry pretended to read something. "I am now studying the official document you made on his computer by adapting a true official document. It has been signed by both of you and announces that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, with the Prime Minister's permission, could be legally married to anyone she pleases at any time and any place she wished." He looked up. "This is quite unusual."

"Of course. I am the only Queen," Elizabeth said readily. "And I do not make a habit of marrying, so, yes, you could say this is quite unusual."

"Is this legal?" Henry asked doubtfully.

"Lord Setchley has done research and he has not found any impediments. It is his job to deal with the law. People will have to accept his decisions. They elected this man to defend their interests so they've got to suffer whatever decisions he makes."

"And now get on with it?" Henry supplied with a grin.

"That is going to be a monstrous scene," Marry commented after listening to them for a while. The whole marriage idea had excited her enough to sit through their discussion. Elizabeth and Henry had opened a bottle of wine to celebrate Henry's proposal and serious suggestions were far and few between, but they were enjoying themselves.

"It should be."

"I know of no legal impediments," said Henry. "Write that down."

"Just because you don't know any doesn't mean there aren't any," Elizabeth answered, but she wrote it down anyway before it escaped her. "You've got to do better than that if you want to marry me, silly." They argued for a while about the exact phrasing and its implications.

"Gahh," said Mary in disgust. They were far too thorough in this matter, discussing every single word.

"Yes, we love playing caricatures of ourselves," Henry remarked. "Don't we, darling?"

She touched his cheek mockingly. "Yes, sweetie."

"I like it better when you fight," Mary said and gave them both a kiss. It was late and she should go to bed. "Good night."

Elizabeth accompanied her to the door. "Could you lend me some pyjamas?" she whispered. "I forgot to pack them."

"Sure. Where should I leave them?" As far as Mary knew, Elizabeth had not taken her suitcase up to a room yet. She wondered where she was going to sleep. With Henry, presumably.

"Er…" Elizabeth looked a little uncomfortable. "I don't know." She had no idea what the children would think of it. Maybe they would expect her to stay in the guest room, since Henry had probably told them only married people could sleep in one room.

"Henry's room?"

Elizabeth was relieved that Mary suggested it herself. "If that's alright with you."

Mary chuckled. Elizabeth was in for something if she slept in Henry's bed. The boys had a habit of coming over. "I should be asking you. Is it alright with you if you wake up with three men?"

"Three men?"

"Yes." There was a grin on Mary's face. "Have a good night."

"Damn it, Henry. Why does everyone love you?" Elizabeth murmured when Mary had left the room. It was not always a good thing.

Elizabeth discovered what Mary had meant when she was woken in the middle of the night by someone shaking her by the shoulder. "Mmm?" she moaned sleepily.

"I had a bad dream," a timid voice whispered.

Elizabeth opened her eyes, but saw nothing but a silhouette. It was one of the boys. "Who are you?"

"John," Henry softly groaned in her ear.

"What do you want Henry to do for you, John?" she asked, ignoring Henry's groan. John could not be coming for her. He scarcely knew her.

"I'm scared."

She felt Henry move away from her. "Climb over her," she heard him say and not a second later John had done so. Then she felt him snuggle against her back under the covers behind her, probably thinking he should not give them the chance to reconsider. She felt Henry's hand on her hip -- he must have long arms -- and she laid hers over it to let him know it was alright. She was too sleepy to speak.

In the morning, however, they were four. There were two boys between her and Henry now. David turned out to be there too. Elizabeth had missed his arrival and she looked at him in surprise. She was fairly sure he had not climbed over her. That was something she would have felt.

She had rolled over during the night, because she was now facing the other way. Henry and the boys were watching cartoons. As soon as John noticed she was awake, he switched on the sound and began to jump around on the bed. Elizabeth pushed herself up and leant back against the pillows. It was all a bit chaotic to wake up to. If this had been a water bed, John's jumping would have made her seasick. She wondered if they really had bad dreams or if they were merely trying to secure a good position to watch television in the morning. "Cute," she mumbled and staggered to the bathroom, suddenly remembering something.

When she returned she had also splashed some water on her face to wake up and she stretched her muscles.

"Why did you leave that night gown at home?" Henry asked. He had liked it.

"I forgot it. Why?"

"Because you all have the same pyjamas now." Elizabeth, David and John all wore light blue. "I thought we could see my mother today," Henry suggested.

"Grandma?" David said enthusiastically. "Yes!"

"If Elizabeth doesn't mind." He studied her carefully. Either she was not yet awake, or she was awake and not liking the boys, or he did not know what.

"I don't." She stretched her arms backwards, but quickly lowered them. Mary's pyjamas were a little too small and if she stretched they were too tight. Stretching was not such a good idea this morning. She glanced at the boys rolling on the bed. Wrestling was not such a good idea either. A bath was more appealing to her now. She went back into the bathroom.

As Elizabeth lay back in the bath she reflected on the day before. It had been extremely enjoyable, perhaps too much so. It might be difficult to leave. She had not yet decided when she would, but it was clear she could not stay here forever, although she was tempted to look for excuses to stay.

Henry was wonderful on his own, but he obviously needed a woman. She tried to think of a good reason why he needed one.

The children needed a mother too. Henry was probably a much more experienced mother than she was, but at least she looked and felt female and he did not. At least, that had been Mary's opinion. Elizabeth herself did not need a mother's embrace as long as she had Henry. He could make her feel very safe and protected. Maybe this was only the novelty of it all. Maybe after a few weeks she too would feel Henry was all bone and muscle. Perhaps this was why John had snuggled up to her and not to Henry.

Everything might change if it all became ordinary. She sighed. It was a big risk. Henry came in to shave and she observed him from the bath. It was quite stupid, but she had never seen a real man shave, she realised. Only in commercials.

He observed her too. "Why do you look so smug?" he asked.

Elizabeth did not know she looked smug. "I was proud of my conquest, I suppose."

He laughed. "And I of mine."

"But your body looks better."

He looked as if she was very odd. "I told you what I liked, didn't I?" It was rather strange suddenly to have Elizabeth confide in him about her insecurities. She had always been so controlled that he had never suspected her of worrying about something like this. He did not know what he could say to reassure her. He did not really see what was wrong with her or what she could be less pleased with.

"Yes, you did, but I'm staying under the foam anyway. I'm forty."

"So am I. That's why I like you." He ran his hand through the bath water and dispersed the foam.

Elizabeth splashed some water at him. "Don't do that!"

After trying out several ideas, Elizabeth came up with the working visit. They could pretend to be studying marriage from a professional point of view.

"As if anyone would believe that you and I would do this over the Christmas break," Henry snorted, but he realised this was the best plan. Yes, they would go to a Registrar, ask him lots of questions and then wriggle it so that they would be married to try out the system. "You're manipulative enough to pull it off, aren't you?" he teased.

Mary had run out to get the newspaper. It discussed the Queen's Christmas speech and the birthday celebrations that had not really taken place. She read it carefully, because they had completely forgotten to watch the speech the day before and Elizabeth was their new stepmother now, sort of, so they had to look out for her.

What they had written was all favourable, she thought. Elizabeth would not mind reading it. But Mary was the only one who read it. David and John did not read the newspaper yet and Henry and Elizabeth were on holiday, they claimed. They did not want to start the day by reading up on the news.

Mary left the paper downstairs and went up to her room to read the tabloid she had secretly bought at the news agents'. They were probably not interested in that either, but she was. It had such an intriguing headline on its front page. Now that she was forty, Elizabeth was said to be in a hurry to get married. The workaholic Queen needed a husband to share the ceremonial load.

It was true that she was in a hurry, but not for the reasons mentioned in the article, nor to any of the men who were named in it. Mary could not believe it. They looked positively hideous -- well, some of them did. She half expected Henry's picture at the end, but it was not there. He was not even mentioned in the article at all.

"What would Henry think of this?" Mary showed it to Elizabeth when she came into her room.

"Hmm…Henry's not thinking till after the holidays." Elizabeth cast a glance at the page. "Why?"

"He's not being mentioned in it."

"It's funny that they're nearly right, though. About sharing the load. But that applies to Henry." She smiled and sat down on the bed. "Suppose I were to marry one of these men and suppose we had to attend a wedding abroad -- I do, you know, and so does Henry. We've got one next month. Suppose we went there, the three of us, as our country's representatives. Inevitably we'd be photographed together and wouldn't it look odd if I was married to one of them, when I look so much better with Henry?"

This was half spoken in jest, but Mary agreed with it.

"Do you mind that I came?"

"No." Mary shook her head several times. "But…you'll have to go after the holidays, won't you?"

"Yes, we'll all go our separate ways." The children would go back to school too.

"Henry won't go to live with you?"

"No. I'll see him twice a week, though." Elizabeth walked towards a collection of pictures that hung on the wall and studied them. She did not really want to think about the end of the holidays yet.

Mary came to stand beside her. "Uhhh…" There was something she needed to ask.

Elizabeth looked aside. "Is something wrong?" She hoped she would not be forced to continue talking about the future.

"I got my period and I don't want to ask Henry to buy…" She looked embarrassed. The only shop within walking distance of the house was the news agents', so she would have to be driven to a shop and also be given enough money. "He doesn't know anything about these things. He doesn't even buy his own underwear."

Elizabeth seemed to think that was perfectly understandable. "Of course he doesn't. Neither do I, my dear. Have you got any idea how embarrassing that is when people know you? If it's too sexy they wonder whom you're trying to please and if it's not sexy at all they call you frigid. Come with me." She realised she was probably rambling too much. It had to be the topic.

Mary followed her and watched her rummage through her toilet things.

Elizabeth suddenly remembered that Teddy had said Henry's sister bought his underwear. She was curious to find out if Teddy had been right. "Who buys his underwear for him? Teddy said it was his sister."

"It is. Amanda and my grandmother. Why do you and Teddy discuss Henry's underwear?" Mary asked. It puzzled her.

"I think Teddy was trying to get me to confess that I had seen what sort he was wearing. She had read in some tabloid that he wore sexy boxers and she tried to get me to say yes or no. I thought she didn't know anything yet and that she was just rambling, but if I'd known that she knew, I would have told her. Here you go," Elizabeth said as she handed her a small plastic box. "It's not much, but it's all I have."

"But…" Mary hesitated. "Won't you be needing it?"

Elizabeth gave a careless shrug. "Oh, no. I have erratic periods. I never get them in the winter. You can have all of it and I'll make sure we buy some more, alright?" As she spoke she wondered how she would fare buying it. It was all very well to make Mary a promise when she had never actually bought any of this stuff herself, but she supposed there was a first time for everything.

Mary stared at her. "What do you mean, not in the winter? Isn't that odd?"

"I agree that it's odd, but that's how it was for the past two or three years. It's probably got something to do with my weight. I think I'm a little thinner in the winter and I'm hovering on the verge of being underweight as it is. There are more things to do in the winter, so I suppose that's what causes it. I don't really mind. It's hell during official visits. Those men never plan in enough sanitary breaks."

"You're not underweight."

Elizabeth laughed. "I hope you're not going to agree with that beautician who said I was twenty pounds overweight and who wanted to instruct my cooks to cook only fat-free dinners."

"Twenty pounds? Where are they?" Mary thought Elizabeth looked perfectly normal, neither underweight nor overweight. It was ridiculous to call her twenty pounds overweight.

"Where they are on most women, my dear. Though it's nothing in the order of twenty pounds, I'd say. I'd be a skeleton. Nah, a little flesh is alright for my bone structure. I should be able to grab just a little roll of fat around the waist." She tried to do that. "It seems to be a bit difficult at the moment, although I don't look thinner at all and I could do it last week. Oh well. I'm not a model and I'm forty. How I feel is all that matters and I feel fine."

Henry had thought it all out, despite his intention not to think. He had altered this intention to not thinking further ahead than one day. They would go to his mother's house, where his sister and brother-in-law would already be. That would ensure they had enough witnesses for a wedding.

He had already heard from Tom that Elizabeth had danced with him at a ball and Tom knew how things stood anyway. His mother, however, would have the biggest shock of her life if Amanda and Tom had not already told her, but Henry did not think they had, because his mother had not phoned. She would have done that for certain.

It occurred to him they were saving the taxpayer an enormous lot of money when he compared Elizabeth's situation to that of one of her cousins abroad, whose wedding was already costing millions before it had even taken place. Did the taxpayer really want a spectacle that cost so much? This strengthened him in his conviction that he would be doing the right thing. It was certainly out of the question to use public funds for his own wedding. It would perhaps be a different matter if he were organising Elizabeth's marriage to someone else, but that was something he had not been able to imagine anymore. After their first meeting he had already known he would have serious problems with such an event.

He watched her come into the room, haul David up from the floor where he was playing and whisper something in his ear. She did the same to John. This was good enough to make them run out of the room. Henry was amazed. He had repeatedly been telling them to get dressed, but they had ignored him. "How did you do that?" he asked.

"Do what?" Elizabeth seemed not to know what she had just accomplished.

"Are they going to get dressed?"

"They're going to take a bath."

"How did you manage that?" He would like to learn that trick so he could use it on the boys.

"I don't know. I told them to go." She flashed a smile at him. "Is that odd?" She sat down next to him and took his hands. There was something she wanted to say, she felt, but she did not know what it was. "Hmmm…do you mean they're not listening to you?"

"Not really."

Elizabeth looked up at his face very innocently. Poor Henry. She would have to console him. "I would listen to you. Does that help?"

"You? Listen?"

"I would!" she protested softly.

"During our first meeting I already realised you wouldn't listen to anybody." Or rather, that she seemed to follow her own plans. He had liked that.

"No, you realised you wouldn't listen to me. It's different. But I do like someone with an independent mind." People who were not impressed by her were always intriguing, which was why she had also liked playing with John. He was like a little version of Henry -- I do not care if you are a queen; Lego blocks are my domain.

"Yes, you told me."

Elizabeth raised her eyebrows. "I don't think I ever said it to you." She could not remember it, at any rate.

"You looked at me appreciatively," Henry clarified.

"And you think that had something to do with your mind?" she laughed teasingly. Before she had come to know anything about his mind she would have appreciated his looks. "We all know why you were elected, Lord Setchley."

He narrowed his eyes. "You underestimated me when you first saw me, didn't you?"

"Yes," she admitted honestly, but with a grin. "I thought you were some sort of…popularity stunt."

Henry knew that he had been, in a way, although he had proved his abilities long since. "Yet you appreciated it."

"Who wouldn't?" she exclaimed. He was very pleasant to look at and if he looked back at her, well, she could not even begin to describe that sensation. It was best to stay flippant, otherwise she would end up uttering trite phrases and descriptions. "Do that again," she begged. He could be looking at her very seriously, but one small twist of his mouth could turn this into a very mocking look. Or was it the eyes that suddenly began to twinkle?

He raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly. "Do what?"

"You're driving me a little crazy," she confessed.

His mouth quirked again. "That's alright as long as it's just a little," he said in a non-committal tone. "You're not the sort of woman one can easily drive crazy anyway, are you?" He knew that would only make it worse.

He would be surprised how easily he could in fact do that. "There are three children in the house, Henry," she said softly. They should keep that in mind. There was no telling if Mary would really stay upstairs or if the boys would really be taking a bath.

"I'm not suggesting anything."

"The more you're saying you're not suggesting anything, you are in fact suggesting something." Elizabeth leant against him.

He wrapped his arms around her. It was really fortunate that two of the children were in the bath. If he had known where the third one was, he would have thought the situation even more fortunate, but he did not, alas. "If anything happens it will be your fault. You're not the sort of woman to fall for my suggestions. I am, however, the sort of man to --"

"-- to make veiled suggestions."

"Maybe." Henry looked reflective and his mouth twitched. "I was going to say I was the sort of man to fall…" He reclined on the couch, pulling her with him. "…for your suggestions."

"I'm not going to look at you anymore," Elizabeth said in determination, hiding her face against his shirt. "You are dangerous."

Henry had taken the entire family to his mother's house. It was a bit of a drive, but it was worth risking a fight among the children who now had less room in the backseat because Elizabeth was in the front.

The boys tumbled out of the car as soon as it stopped and they ran towards the house. Because their grandmother was very fond of them, she was already waiting for them and the front door was wide open. Grandmother herself was in the sitting room, because it was too cold to stand at the door. She sat waiting for them to come running into the room. They always did that and then David would join Amanda's boys and John would sit next to her.

This time it was different. At the point where John should sit down, he did not. He stood waiting with his eyes on the door.

Henry had not told his mother whom he was bringing. Amanda and Tom had not known either, but they guessed something when Mary came in, also looking back over her shoulder now and then as if something interesting was going to follow. Only David seemed not to care. "Oh, she didn't!" Amanda exclaimed involuntarily. Elizabeth had come?

The only other females in the room looked at her curiously, but only Mary appeared to understand her. "She did."

"Who did what?" Grandma asked. Something was going over her head.

"Henry appears to have brought his girlfriend, Mum," Amanda said to her in a low voice.

"Henry?" His mother shook her head. "He wouldn't."

"Mary says he did."

"It's logical that he would bring her if he had one, but it's not logical for him to have one," Grandma explained. "She'd be his second choice. He told me he wouldn't ever take second best."

"What do you mean, his second choice?" Amanda asked.

But her mother looked towards the door where Henry and his girlfriend appeared at that moment. She took a moment to take in the dark-haired woman by his side. "Well, I'll be damned," she muttered and leant towards Amanda. "I was right. He wouldn't go for second best."

"Mum," said Henry. "This is Elizabeth." He felt rather nervous about it, as if he was a teenager presenting his first girlfriend to his parents.

"I think she knows, Henry," Elizabeth said in amusement. She knew she had been recognised. After so many years she was good at telling who knew her and who did not.

"But it's only polite to introduce you," Henry protested.

She sensed he was a little nervous. "Why don't you go and play with the boys while I handle this?" she whispered. It could never be that bad. She had already met his sister and brother-in-law, so the only new acquaintance would be his mother.

Henry was only too glad to leave the embarrassing introductions to her and he went to the boys, David and his sister's sons.

As someone who was introduced to a great many new people every week, Elizabeth was quite at ease with introductions. It was an automatism. There were hardly ever people she needed to be afraid of. She nearly used her automatic smile on Henry's mother, but then she checked herself. They knew who she was; she knew who they were. The only thing they would not know was why she was here. She decided to say it directly. "I'm going to marry Henry today." She studied their faces.

It was hard to tell what Henry's mother and sister were thinking. They resembled Henry in that they did not use any exaggerated facial expressions. Elizabeth guessed they were amused, more than anything else. Tom was merely amazed.

She had been overlooking John, who was still standing between them all. He came up to her and started to whisper with a very concerned frown on his face. "But Daddy wouldn't marry you because he thinks we wouldn't like that. He said so."

Elizabeth looked taken aback. "Er…" But it had been Henry himself who had said he wanted to marry her.

"He promised us he wouldn't marry anybody we didn't like, but he doesn't know we like you and Daddy never breaks his promises. Should I tell Daddy we like you?" John offered.

Elizabeth felt touched and she hugged the little boy. "I should be very happy if you told him that," she whispered back. John pulled himself loose and ran away. She straightened her back again and looked at the others, blinking.

"What did he say?" Grandma wanted to know.

"I have just been granted permission to marry Henry." She bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling or curving up into a smile.

"David is easy to please, but if you've got Mary and John on your side, you're safe," said Grandma, looking at her granddaughter. She did not expect there would be any problems in that quarter. Mary was easier than John and Mary was not looking unhappy at all.

Mary grinned. "She's safe."

Elizabeth sat down. "I'm only concerned that they're too eager to accept anyone who comes along and who shows the least bit of interest in them." While she liked them too, it was still a bit incomprehensible that they would want her as their mother so quickly.

"Many people have shown an interest in them and they're still quite picky," said Amanda. "Being picky runs in the family." She had some trouble preventing herself from bursting out in incredulous laughter. It was simply ridiculous that Henry was going to be married today.

"They don't seem to be picky. They hardly know me." She would rather not be exchangeable.

"Well, they have an almost blind faith in Henry, for one," Amanda mused. "He's been vetting you for two years. His opinion carries a lot of weight." Henry was definitely picky himself and even if he were not, he had relatives who would be picky in his place.

Elizabeth looked rather shy at having been vetted. "Oh."

"Enough about that," Grandma decided. "I'd like to know how you had envisaged this wedding. Today, you said?" What sort of awkward action of Henry's was this going to be?

"Yes. Henry and I came up with a plan. We shall pretend to be studying the whole…marriage procedure." Elizabeth's voice faltered. Perhaps it would sound very silly. "We have to make something up. We can't just go there."

"This is an amazingly clever plan for someone with Henry's abilities," his mother said with a touch of sarcasm. "The chances that anyone will suspect you are incredibly slim. Of course nobody would question your intentions, would they? It does appear to be quite natural for the two of you to go on such visits together, to a Registrar's office and to his local one especially."

"Henry said to bluff…" Elizabeth was no longer so sure it would work. Henry's mother certainly seemed to doubt it. Perhaps Henry and she had not been realistic enough.

"I know our local Registrar, Mr Cox, and so does Henry."

"But he doesn't live here, does he?" Elizabeth was a little puzzled now.

"This is his house."

"But we're staying somewhere else."

"That's the children's house. He owns it, but he does not officially live there. What made you think the Registrar wouldn't smell a rat if you went there together?"

"I don't know. He has no reason to suspect anything, does he?"

Apart from the fact that it was blatantly, glaringly obvious, the Registrar would indeed have no reason to suspect anything. Grandma sighed at this naïveté. "He'd only need to intercept one of your glances and your cover will be blown." She had only intercepted a few herself, but those had been enough for her to decide that they were too revealing.

"Oh," Elizabeth said weakly. "I'll try not to glance at him then."

This made Amanda snort. "And try not to speak to him either." That too would sound incredibly amicable.

"Perhaps Henry is not so stupid after all," Grandma decided. "Mr Cox is a good sort. He will not, I think, betray a fellow villager."

"Why does this have to be so difficult? All this planning and thinking takes the romance out of it," Elizabeth complained.

John returned and installed himself next to her. Grandma was pleased to notice this. John was a shy little boy who did not easily make friends. Amanda's boys were a little too old for him sometimes. David was barely old enough to be a playing companion for them, but John was definitely a few years too young. He was frequently left out. It was alright if it was only David and him, but right now David seemed to prefer the older boys.

"Grandma has Lego blocks too," John whispered to Elizabeth. "Will you play with me?"

Elizabeth could not say no. She nodded. "Excuse me," she said when John pulled her by the hand.

"What can I say," said Grandma with a shake of the head. "Where are they going?"

"They're going to play," said Mary, who had overheard her brother's question.

"I thought she wanted to get married today. Henry!" she called.

Henry appeared a few moments later. "What is it?"

"Your fiancée has gone to play with John, as if she's not getting married today. I find it all very confusing. What time had you been thinking of?"

"Well, something soon. I had planned to tell you about it and then go. Something like that."

"I still don't know what she's doing with you. Alone. I read in the papers that she was spending the holidays with family and friends. I don't think they were talking about you."

"She…er…escaped yesterday morning." Henry could not suppress his smile.

"Amanda and Tom find this incredibly amusing, I can see that," said Grandma with a glance at her daughter and son-in-law. "But I really have to ask you some questions. She escaped to be with you, you say. And some time today or yesterday you decided you wanted to get married right away?"

"Yesterday evening," Henry answered.

"Is this allowed?" Grandma could imagine that there were rules for this sort of thing.

"I think so."

"Have you got any idea what you're risking?"

"Yes," he replied seriously. "But I'll risk it. I don't care."

"Will you tell anybody about it?"

"I don't know yet. In the first place we're doing this for ourselves. What others think comes second to that. It shouldn't be our primary motivation."

"They nearly tore you apart because you kissed her --"

"How did you know it was her?" Henry interrupted. He had never told her that.

"Oh, Henry! Don't be stupid."

"But they only tore me apart because I wasn't married."

There was something in that. It had indeed been the main point of criticism. His mother considered it. "While it's true that nobody would criticise you for kissing your wife, Henry, they might find fault with your choice of wife."

"Why?"

"It's inevitable that some people will. They might think you ought to have stayed away from her. It's quite unprofessional, you know. What do you think people would say if they found out that you've been using your weekly meetings to fall in love? Everybody thinks you were discussing politics." She laughed. She knew they had been discussing politics, because Henry had acquainted her with most of Elizabeth's opinions, something she had then found incredibly suspicious.

"But we were!" Henry protested.

"Can you prove that?"

"Even I don't believe that!" Amanda grinned. "You've been meeting a good-looking woman for two years and you've only been discussing politics?" Some people might find this hard to believe.

"Unbelievable," Tom agreed with a smile.

"I would have preferred to do something else, yes, but I didn't!" Henry said desperately. Where would he be if even his family did not believe him?

"We're only teasing you, Henry," said his mother soothingly. She believed him. "But you really need to work on your story. Once people notice the Queen is a woman, they're not going to believe that you didn't touch her for two years. I think in Brazil you already proved to the entire world that the Prime Minister is a man, but the Queen hasn't done that yet." She was still the Queen, perfect and unattainable.

"Are you saying we shouldn't get married?" he asked uncertainly. He did not really understand what she meant.

"Oh, you definitely should. Otherwise you'd be in far bigger trouble."

Grandma went to fetch something from her bedroom and she passed the room in which John and Elizabeth were playing. "What a beautiful car, John," she said, looking at the thing John was making drive in circles.

"It's a bus!" He showed her it had seats for many people. "Linnie made it."

"Linnie?" Grandma inquired and Elizabeth raised her hand.

"I wouldn't dare to call it a bus," she said with a self-deprecating smile. "But he likes it. Don't you think we need bus stops, John? Nobody can get on the bus now. Who made these buildings?" They could make bus stops in front of the buildings.

"Daddy did a long while back."

Elizabeth had thought the boys had made them. She giggled. "I'm glad he went into politics. Building is not his field, is it?"

"I like this one," John said gravely, pointing at a yellow and blue square building. "It's got a window that can open."

This was apparently a very cool thing and more important than how the building looked. Elizabeth inspected it. "Oh right. Yes, that's very nice."

Grandma was still standing there. "Could you try this on?" she asked, handing Elizabeth a small box. It contained a purple cushion with two gold rings on it. They were obviously old.

Elizabeth guessed they were Henry's parents' wedding rings. She picked out the smaller of the two and slowly slid it onto her finger. It was a little too wide. That was good. It would be a pity if she was not able to accept this kind gesture.

"It belonged to Henry's grandmother," Grandma explained. "I kept it, just in case. The others chose their own rings, but you don't really have time to do that now, do you?"

Elizabeth quietly laid the ring back on the cushion. It was very thoughtful of her future mother-in-law and it must mean she accepted her. "Thank you."

"John?" Grandma asked. It was time for Elizabeth to get married, really. He should give her up. "Tom is going to walk the dogs. Would you like to go with him?"

Running and playing in the woods was also attractive. John thought about it. "Yes." He scrambled to his feet.

Grandma laid her hand on his head. "We're going to do something really boring. We might not be back yet when you get back, but don't worry about it." He was always frightened if people stayed away too long.

John ran downstairs and Elizabeth pulled her boots back on. "I suppose we're going to get married now," she said. The waistband of her trousers protested against her folding herself up. She supposed she was not at her most elegant when with one hand she tried to move her waistband and with the other she tried to pull her boot over her foot.

"Are you alright?"

"This is not the sort of movement one should attempt at my age. My fitness has gone down since I turned forty." Elizabeth hoisted herself up in a somewhat elegant manner.

"I thought that was yesterday." She had tried to phone her son the day before -- right now she understood why he had never answered the phone -- but she had always thought he shared his birthday with the Queen.

"Yes, it was."

"So your fitness has gone down in a day?"

"The last few weeks, really. I think all the worries settled on my waist."

"You'll soon lose it," Henry's mother said soothingly. Personally she had never had her worries settle on her waist. That had been her hips. Perhaps it was different for each woman. The only things that had gone to her waist had been her pregnancies. She remembered reading somewhere that Elizabeth could not get pregnant. This was probably why she had taken to the children so quickly. Now she would get everything: a husband and three ready-made children. "Think of all the nice things you'll be getting."

"We are really concerned about the high number of people who do not get married at all in today's society," Henry explained to the Registrar and Elizabeth listened with a very serious expression. "We want to investigate how high the threshold actually is. Perhaps it is too complicated to get married. We have of course been shown all the figures and the studies, but these numbers and trends and things…" He heaved a far too dramatic sigh.

Don't you be fooled, Elizabeth thought to herself. His mind was well-equipped to deal with statistical surveys.

"That's why we'd like to experience ourselves exactly what people have to do to get married -- to see how easy or difficult it is to get married and get a divorce, because there is one theory that people who get married too quickly have a greater chance of divorcing." Henry gave Elizabeth a sideways look as if he needed the supporting evidence.

She did not mind giving it. "Fifty-two percent, if they marry within a year of meeting each other," Elizabeth said seriously.

"Fifty-one," Henry corrected, as if these figures were not wholly fictional. "But what we were thinking -- we are pretty conservative or old-fashioned or whatever you want to call it -- was that it should become easier to get married and more difficult to get a divorce."

Elizabeth nodded. "Or impossible."

"That is the real hard-liner," Henry said to the Registrar.

"Oh yes."

"We'd like to try this out," Henry said encouragingly. "Can you take us through the whole process?"

"So you want to be married?" The Registrar Mr Cox looked from one to the other uncertainly.

A downright yes would be suspicious, Henry realised. "No, I want to get married, not be married specifically. I want to see the process."

"But it takes several weeks," the Registrar protested. At least, that was the case for ordinary people. Celebrities probably had their own rules. "You have to give notice in advance."

"I'm doing that now."

"But it has to be several weeks in advance, so we can check that you're not already married."

"But you know that about us. Neither of us can get married without anybody noticing! I thought you could make an exception for us, otherwise we'd never cover the whole process in one afternoon," Henry decided. "So we'll forget about the notice, but we'll write down that it takes several weeks."

"Well…alright." The Registrar looked a little baffled, but this was the Prime Minister talking, so he should go along with it. "And you have to fill in a form."

"We like that." Henry looked at Elizabeth. "Could you give us one?"

"Isn't that long, though? Several weeks," Elizabeth said as she was filling in the form. "You couldn't surprise anyone with a romantic wedding."

"And think of all the preparations the bridegroom would have to suffer," Henry added. "Her dress, her hair, her face, her nails…the longer it takes before you actually marry, the greater the chance you won't be marrying the girl you once knew." He had not seen Elizabeth do anything about her face or her nails, only about her hair and that had gone very quickly. He was still marrying the girl he knew before -- or woman. Henry glanced at her. Girl.

"It's no wonder nobody married you yet," she said to him. On no account must they appear to like each other too much. "With that attitude. Could you fill in your name, please?" She handed him her form and looked at what he wrote. "Livius Henry Noel Breckingham?" She did not even have to act surprised, because she had only known about Livius and Henry.

"At Your Majesty's service," Henry said pompously. Elizabeth Natalia Breckingham it would be.

"Well," said the Registrar when the administrative formalities had been taken care of. "Did you bring your birth certificates?"

Henry had his and he showed it. Elizabeth did not. "The entire country knows I exist," she said somewhat arrogantly. "I hadn't thought you needed proof of that."

"Er no, Your Majesty," the man said hastily. "We shall then proceed as if you actually handed in the forms beforehand, but remember this takes several weeks. Now we shall being the official ceremony, for which you need two witnesses."

"Oh, I thought so. Well, I'd better get some, to have a more real feel to it." Henry jumped up and left the room. He called in his mother and sister, who witnessed the ceremony. Fortunately they had been well instructed, so they acted as if this was indeed a working visit. Mr Cox was no longer surprised. He merely underwent it all with a calm resignation.

"Can I keep the certificate? As a souvenir?" Henry asked afterwards. They had skipped the kiss, for which he was rather glad. Now he was saving up his feelings for a much better occasion, but it was making him ask some rather giddy questions.

"Of course, My Lord. You can't get a divorce without it and this was official." It rather baffled the Registrar why Lord Setchley had wanted to make this official. Technically he would now have to divorce the Queen, who was probably subject to all kinds of religious divorce prohibitions of the Church.

"Oh." Henry studied it. "It was quite interesting. Yes. Last visit I went on was to a beer brewery, but they wouldn't allow me to brew any beer there myself. You always learn so much more about the entire process of something if you do things yourself, instead of just watching them. Don't you agree?" Anyone who heard him speak now would think this was the visit to the beer brewery, for all the inane comments that he made.

Elizabeth just wished they could get out of there before anyone tore up the marriage certificate. She felt as if they had stolen something and that someone might find out any minute. She stood very still so as not to betray this feeling, with as many fingers around her wedding ring as possible, the only bit of Henry she could touch. Part of her wanted Henry to behave like such a fool that he would give everything away, because then they could embrace, but her more sensible side argued against this.

To Part Three
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