As far back as I can remember Trevor was always there. We grew up together, our parents being best friends and neighbors. Nobody could quite understand the bond we had, even as children. It only grew stronger as the years passed. Even we couldn't explain it. It just was…
I look back now, and every important moment, every major event that mapped my life included Trevor in some way. For every bruise, every scrape…he was there holding my hand and making me laugh to forget the pain. I remember him being teased in school for playing with me by the other boys. He tried to protect me from their cruel taunts but in the end, it was me who shut them up when I gave one of them a bloody nose.
Despite the two-year difference between us, our friendship didn't diminish as we got older. Our classes were different, and we each had our own separate groups of friends, but still we remained inseparable. Sometimes he would get me in trouble with our Biology teacher by whispering to me during lectures, and I'd have to stay after for detention…so Trevor would do something that earned him a detention as well.
I loved being with Trevor; laughing with him, watching movies with him, practicing for our swim meets together. I know a lot of girls hated me in high school. Many because I was so close to Trevor and they couldn't seem to catch his attention. And the others because they thought I didn't have a life without him. That wasn't true of course, but being with him made the good moments even better. How do you explain that to people who've never experienced the bond that he and I share?
A few months before my thirteenth birthday, my mother died. Killed in a car accident by some drunk driver who decided he was well enough to drive. The drunk driver only got a few months in jail and probation…it still doesn't seem right or fair to me. Instead of being with my family, it was Trevor that I ran to that night; Trevor that held me in his arms while my world shattered, and wiped my tears away. And he was the one that was there when I cursed the Fates for taking her away, while the rest of my family were too cocooned in their own grief to notice what I was going through. He was there when the tears stopped, to help me stand again when I was ready.
When Trevor graduated high school, he took me aside and told me, "Whatever you do, be true to yourself, live for you, and be proud of who you are." His words gave me strength over the next few years, while other kids tried to pressure me into drugs or drinking. It was during those next two years while he was away at college that I realized exactly how much I loved Trevor.
We started dating after I graduated high school, when I finally got the guts enough to admit to him what I felt. Imagine my surprise when he told me he'd always loved me. The last fourteen months together strengthened our relationship even more than I could ever have imagined possible. To finally be able to hold him close, smell him, kiss him, and tell him how much I loved him.
Always in my life, everything came back to Trevor. Our souls were forever entwined, existing only for each other.
Trevor…it still amazes me how much one name can cause such a mixture of emotions; Love, hope, happiness, and sorrow and regret for what can never be.
I knelt down onto the soft, wet grass, running my fingers over the glossy stone. My fingers traced the grooves of his name…
I smile sadly; a smile reflecting bittersweet emotions as the rain cascaded against my face, mingling with my tears. I kissed my fingers and once again touched his name with my fingertips. My throat constricted painfully as I whispered, "I love you." A sudden gust of wind swept my words away like a ghostly echo and for a moment I could smell his scent, feel his hand against my cheeks as he brushed away my tears. For a moment my soul felt the peace of unity with his. But the feeling passed all too quickly and I shivered against the cold spring rain.
Our souls would meet again. Until then, Trevor's name would be etched upon my heart as surely as it was upon the gravestone.
Back to the Original Fiction Archive