MORTUA EST!
A watch-keeping taper above the wet
mound,
At Mass-time a bell-roll with
funeral sound,
A dream that is dipping its wing in
sad gall -
And thus you've passed over the
world's bourn, withal.
You died when the azure like
pastures shines bright –
With milky white rivers and flowers
of light;
Black clouds look like castles, so
somber and stern:
The moon - nightly monarch -
inspects them in turn,
Like silver-lit shadows to me you
appear –
Their wings now preparing a skyward
career;
Pale soul, you're ascending on
scaffolds of clouds
Through showers of raylets and
star-studded crowds.
A ray now uplifts you, songs take
you to rest,
Your arms of white marble lie
crossed on your breast.
While, noisily, witches keep spinning
their skein,
There's silver on waters and gold o'er the plain.
I see your pure spirit borne
upwards in flight,
Then watch the remainders: just
clay... cold and white,
Laid down in the coffin in spotless
white gown;
Your smile still surviving can match
its renown.
I question my reason, which doubts
mortify:
Oh, pallid-faced angel, why, why
did you die?
What, were you not youthful and
beautiful too?
Why reach for the starlets that
sky-vaults bestrew?
But maybe
you find there fine palaces built,
With
star-spangled archways resplendently gilt,
With
silver-made bridges and rivers of fire,
And
myrrh-scented meadows which strike up a choir,
For you,
dear, to pass through, oh, holiest queen,
With long
locks of sunbeams, with eyes opaline,
Your
noble pale forehead with bays aureoled –
Your
raiment of azure bespangled with gold.
Oh, death
is but chaos, a star-sea it seems,
While
life is a fenland of riotous dreams;
Oh, death
is like eras flowered with suns,
While
bleak is life's story - it wastefully runs.
But
oh!... On my thinking the storms put a cloak:
To bad thoughts submitting, the good ones I
choke...
When suns
are extinguished stars downwards are brought,
I'm led
to believing that all is but nought.
The
sky-vault above us may any time crumble
And
Nought with its darkness may fall in a tumble,
Black
skies I might watch, then, their universe sift –
To death sempiternal
a prey or a gift.
Should
things happen this way, should we there arrive,
Your
gentle warm breathing will never revive;
Then your
voice of sweetness stays silent for aye...
It means that this angel has only been clay.
Yet, dust
most beloved, so lovely - though dead
-I lay on
your coffin my harp - now a shred.
Your
death I deplore not, but envy the ray
Escaped
from this chaos - the world's disarray.
Indeed,
who could answer? Whichever is better,
To be? To be not, though? But no truth is
netter:
Whatever is dead is insensitive too;
The sorrows are many, the pleasures
are few.
To be! O,
sheer madness, both sad and futile:
Your hearing
is lying, your eyes will beguile;
What one
age has taught us, the others unteach:
Much rather than vain dreams, just nothing beseech!
I see
dreams embodied race others which hide,
Until
they reach churchyards with graves gaping wide;
I don't
know in what way to quell my dark thought:
To laugh
like the madmen? To mourn them I ought?
But
wherefore?... Aren't all things sheer madness, indeed?
Why was,
my sweet angel, your death so decreed ?
Where
lies the world's meaning? So smiling and gay,
Did you,
dear, live only to die in this way?
If this
has some meaning, it's godless and odd:
Upon your
wan forehead one cannot read "God"!
Translated
by Andrei Bantas
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