As a deathly silence curtailed the remains of his angry whispers, the dream faded into the dawn of a new day in his own hell. “Give me light” he whispered more but his light had no more brightness for him. Even up, down, grey, water, fire, time, good, evil, none of these made sense to him anymore. It was all chaos, his orange chaos he had always dreamt of. The chaos where there it would all bean enormous mass of something orange. He pictured it so. He dreamt it so. It had appeared to him first as a queer thought rising in the light of his awareness from one of the many dark corners of his mind. Soon, it would become a concept that he kept secret even to himself, as those around him would have most certainly thought him to be mad, had they found out about it. All this until he met Her. She was all he could have wished for and more. She became his guru, he became her disciple. But he was to be a dissappointment, her great dissappointment, and she parted from him, leaving him torn to pieces by what he couldn’t understand. So he came to whisper his anger in a dream that would never be dreamt again, if it has ever been dreamt. Who knows… Nobody knows, understands, means anything.

Did you really think you could survive? I hate you not, my sealed fate you’ve only made come true.

A. H. M.

The man was walking. This time. Yesterday he didn’t walk. He cried. And tears came out of his eyes screaming. The pain he had held within was now ripping out his heart and throwing those little pieces of heart out through his eyes. All the tears fell on the ground and were swept by it leaving behind only invisible traces of blood, of the heart that was being swept away. Truth, flames and blood, that’s what his tears were. And now he was walking. But his legs didn’t follow his mind, they followed his heart. He turned to dust and crawled into the ground looking for his heart. He came across a river that ran under the ground. He asked the river: Have you seen my heart? and the river answered: Oh, you hurt, lost and poor blind fool... Your heart is lost forever! He said: Oh, no! I will not obey the will of destiny! But little did he know that it was his mere destiny to rise in anger and do what he had been born to do. The one candle left to burn, before the darkness would come didn’t show him neither light nor warmth but only the dim despair and pain of a lost creation, one that was left all alone to die, to ache and cry.

Did you really think you will survive? I hate you not, my sealed fate you’ve only made come true.

AUTOMATIC HATE MACHINE

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