Review of Texas Ranger


Texas Rangers.




  First, let me establish that I am not terribly fond of cowboy movies. It seems to me that, way too often, it is the true victims (indians, mexicans, sheepherders...etc) that are deemed to be the bad guys, and that pisses me off profoundly.
  Now, getting back at our subject . The dirty, low-down, no good, cattle rustlers are uncouth ,rude and badly shaven, they have a tendency to shoot unarmed men and ravish innocent women, but at least they can ride, and they can shoot.
  The good guys, on the other hand, are pretty hapless. Hapless-est of all is George Durham (Ashton Kutcher of "Dude, where is my car?") he is either a gentle, sensitive soul, or a really big chicken Second in order of haplessness is young Lincoln Dunnisson (James Van Der Beek of Dawson's Creek) he is a green horn from back east with a classical education and romantic ideas about righteousness, however, he rides like a potato and could not shoot at the side of a barn .
  With such a crew, The Texas Rangers captain, Leander Mc Nelly (Dylan Mc Dermmott of "the Practice") who is also a preacher, has good reasons to pray for a miracle. Their first encounter with King Fisher (Alfred Molina of "Chocolat") and his men is an absolute disaster where he realizes that he is out-gunned, out-skilled and pretty much out-witted. He will regroup, toughen up his troops ,and, with the helpful guidance of the boy from back east (Dunnisson) eventually get the upper hand... I hope I am not spoiling ot for you, but, this is a western, right ? And, the good guy always wins.
   Vincent Spano is a bad guy. King Fisher's first lieutenant; he is naughty, immoral and violent as you please His life philosophy goes something like this: "See object. Take object. Have object" (Faith of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; I know, I have been thinking of upgrading my reference library) Anyhow, he is a lot of fun and looks great on a horse. Natch, we dont see nearly enough of him, but, what else is new?
   There are other very good characters. Mc Nelly's second in command (Robert Patrick of X-files) looks great as a ranger, excellent sculpted face, and ice blue eyes. He is a real soldier's soldier and is often seen looking into the distance as if in desperation of ever whipping this bunch of klutzes into a real into a real military unit.
   There is the the young black man who feel the pinch of racism when he see himself assigned as a scout even though he is one of the best riflemen of the gang.
  There is the beautiful mexican woman whose loyalties are muddled, to say the least, but maybe she is just pragmatic She gives Vincent one of the great lines of the movie : Says she : "But, I did what you wanted" Quoths he : Yeah, and tonigh you'll do what I want, and tomorrow, you'll do what I want, and who knows, maybe we can start charging admission." Hey, I told you he was a bad ass .
  There is the boy affected with a violent stutter, but who is full of surprises (I'm not telling.)
   There is the lovely cattleman's daughter who is pursued by, both Dunnisson and Durham who has pretty modern ideas about violence in response to violence... I liked her a lot!
  Okay, This film was a good surprise, I was expecting a remake of "Young Guns" and it was, well , heaps better. at least I thought so.

ChaosD December 2, 2001

PS : I almost forgot, but Oded Fehr is also in the movie, and my, Oh, my! He is yummy! Except that we get to see him for about 11 seconds, just prior to his dangling at the end of a rope Arrrgh!... you can tell it is not women making these movies !