Orphan
of War:
No sleesy warlords who find it necessary to drink magic elixirs
that turn them into scaly Centaurs were harmed during the production
of this motion picture. |
Remember
Nothing:
Xena's memory was not damaged or... what was I saying? |
Giant
Killer:
No biblical myths or icons were irreparably mangled during the production
of this motion picture. |
Girls
Just Wanna have Fun:
No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the making of this motion
picture. However, several Dryads lost their heads. |
Return
of Callisto:
Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took
her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables. |
Warrior
... Princess ... Tramp:
Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental twin, Diana, were harmed
during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered
minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias. |
Intimate
Stranger:
Argo was not harmed during the making of this motion picture. However,
she is undergoing intensive psycho-therapy to help her work through
her resentment and feelings of distrust towards Xena. |
Ten
Little Warlords:
No one was harmed in the making of the motion picture. However,
Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy
Lawless's unexpected mishap. |
A
Solstice Carol:
Senticles was not harmed during in the making of this motion picture.
However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair. |
The
Xena Scrolls:
No Hollywood Producers were harmed in the making of this motion
picture. |
Here
She Comes ... Miss Amphipolis:
No ribbons were harmed during the making of this motion picture.
However several experienced severe motion sickness. |
Destiny:
Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion
picture. However, the producers deny responsibility of any unfortunate
acts of betrayal occurring soon thereafter. |
The
Quest:
Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion
picture. However, it took Autolycus weeks to get his swagger back.
|
A
Necessary Evil:
The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's
overly radical adherence to an otherwise valid belief system. |
A
Day in the Life:
No slimy eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture
despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of
the known world. |
For
Hime the Bell Tolls:
The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye
and pay tribute to the classic motion picture Court Jester. |
The
Execution:
By popular demand ‘The Executioner' will bring back his comfortable
lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors.
|
Blind
Faith:
Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production
of this motion picture. |
Ulysses:
Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' ship was not harmed
in the production of this motion picture. |
The
Price:
To show sympathy for the Horde, 'kaltaka' was only served upon request.
|
Lost
Mariner:
Cecrops' Joie de Vivre was not harmed during the production of this
motion picture. |
A
Comedy of Eros:
No Cherries were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
|
