Here’s to the Night

A slayers songfic by Majo-chan

Here’s to the night copyrighted to Eve 6. Slayers characters belong to their owners, not me. Warnings: Weirdness, vagueness, rambling third person POV, etc. Read at your own risk, the author makes no quality assurances.

**

So denied…

…so I lied

are you the now or never kind

            He had lied.

            In general, he avoided lying whenever possible, because he knew that while it was to his advantage to tell half or partial truths, a blatant lie could betray him too easily and too quickly. His lifestyle allowed for no margin of error, however carefree he acted with all the others around.

            But still, this time…he had lied.

            A little lie…to protect them both.       

In a day and a day love, I’m gonna be gone for good again

Are you willing to be had

Are you cool with just tonight

            There had been some truth in his lie…at least when he started. It was true that there was no way he could be there for her, his duties took him to a myriad of locations, and most of them were not here, with her. And any day— though the time would be nothing to a demon, an immortal, like him—he might die, disintegrating back into the soft ebb and flow of power that coursed through the Astral Planes. There would be no forever between the two of them.

            And it was almost frightening how she smiled…not because the expression in itself was in any way scary, but because it was so serene. It was as if her heart, offered on a silver platter, hadn’t been smashed to pieces.

            It’s all right, she had said. Because I don’t need you to love me back in order to love you.

            And he had been terribly confused by that, though he didn’t show it. How could that be? Didn’t one give in hopes of receiving something in return?

            No, she had smiled. It would be nice to get something back…but if love can be changed by one rejection, then it is not love. For now I am content to give, she had said as she moved close, her whole body a warm, steady presence around him as he tried figuring out her logic.

            He didn’t understand her at all. What’s worse, she was beginning to impede his understanding of himself.

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

            Later, when he found himself studying her ceiling from her bed, he thought maybe that she was the one that did all the understanding that night. That she had heard his lie, but not called him up on it.

            It didn’t make sense.

Here’s to the nights we felt alive

Here’s to the tears I knew you’d cry

Here’s to goodbye

Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon

            And when she woke up and murmured sleepily, are you all right, why are you awake? He had felt something terribly strong and painful clench in his chest, giant iron claws that crushed the breath from him. So he had kissed her and told her to go to sleep, and then she woke completely, probably because of the tone in his voice. He remembered watching in fascination as her tears tracked down her face silently, silver in the moonlight.

Put your name on the line

Along the place and time

            It didn’t make sense. She was just another one of his amusements. Something that was interesting, that wasn’t predicable and tiresome. She was just there…someone who was irritable, cranky, and fun to annoy. Just another thing. Just another person.

            Why did it hurt?

Wanna stay, not to go, I wanna ditch the logical

            He should’ve left then. It was a good time to go. There were no summons, but to end this newfound weakness, this strange fear, right here and now, would have been ideal. That thought alone made sense amidst the confusion of his thoughts whirling around in his head. The best thing to do was to leave.

            Yet something rooted him to the spot. She did nothing to stop him, yet he was as stuck as if all the gods of the world had bounded him with their power. Bounded and caught in that warm, loving niche that belonged only to him, provided only by her.

            Maybe he wasn’t caught. Maybe he just couldn’t make himself go.

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here’s to the nights we felt alive

Here’s to the tears I knew you’d cry

Here’s to goodbye

Tomorrow’s gonna come too soon

            So he had murmured nonsense reassurances, held her as she cried. And in a way, he was glad to feel her nails digging into his back as she hugged back fiercely. He had time…the sun was not up yet. The darkness would protect them a little longer.

All my time is frozen in motion

Can’t I stay an hour or two more

Don’t let me let you go

            End