Partings

A Slayers Inversed One-Shot

By Majo-chan

Author’s note: this should go with Twilight, part 10. Basically a little of Xellas’s musings. A bit odd, but I had to explain why her hair became so short in my pictures.^_^;

**

Light.

            Somewhere in the dark corners of her mind, a protest sounded and she tried to turn away from the light. Something hurt, everything hurt, but she didn’t want to think of why it hurt. Damn it, there’s too much light.

            “ Xellas dear. It’s time to wake up.” A soft, silky voice called. She thought she recognized that voice, but she didn’t want to listen right now. All she wanted was to burrow deeper into the layers of darkness, to escape…What was she running from? The person waited patiently for all of a minute before deciding to be a little bit firmer in his request.

            Xellas Metallium, the Greater Beast, opened her eyes with a gasp when she felt him prod her mentally. Something akin to a jab in the ribs, nothing painful, but strong and insistent enough that she couldn’t just ignore it. Blood red eyes peered into her own when the images finally began registering in her mind. Semi-dim room, large, canopied bed…she finally realized that she was on her own bed, with Lei Magus sitting beside it calmly. Sunlight filtered lazily inside her bedroom through the uncovered windows, cheerfully and rudely invading her domain of darkness.

            Her throat went absolutely dry as she scrambled to get up. Pain, dulled by healing, flared up and lanced through her but she was too flustered to care. Oh, gods, he was here. And she had failed so badly too…what had happened? It’s too late to worry about that now, damn that light!

            Lei Magus was almost amused by the disconcerted Beastmaster, but didn’t let it show. Instead, he got up and pulled together the curtains, banishing the light outside. “Better?” He asked as he went back to his seat beside her, shaking his head a silent no as she tried to get off the bed. He didn’t think her legs would hold her up, even if she ignored his request.

            Xellas swallowed a few times before she felt she could pull off speech. “um…yes…Thank you, my Lord.”

            “ You’re welcome.” He replied with a gracious nod. “ Now, Xellas…” She swallowed again and barely managed to hide the fear in her eyes. The Beastmaster wasn’t afraid of much, but…Instead of what she expected though, he said mildly, “ Lie down, you’re still regenerating from some rather nasty wounds.”

            She thought for sure she was going to be reprimanded and punished for her failure, and her eyes showed her surprise when none was forthcoming. Lei Magus laughed and gestured for her to relax. “ Lei Magus-sama?”

            “ Rest, my dear. You can’t possibly bring me Luna Inverse’s head if you are dead, can you?” He asked in a tone that almost sounded sincerely caring, and she understood the underlined meaning. She still had the task to complete, he just saw that there was no need to be in a hurry about it. “ There are other ways to kill the Knight of Cepheed, but I don’t want you to pay the price with your life in the process, understand?” Xellas nodded numbly as he got up with a swish of red robes. “ I wish you a speedy recovery. There are too few of us already.” She nodded again, then watched as he disappeared.

            She was alone in the room.

            There was no doubt about the meaning behind his words. He knew…somehow. He knew that she had known there was no hope of defeating the Cepheed Knight…and wished for her own death at her friend’s hands. He had known that she wanted to die like that, because then she can leave this world honorably while carrying out her master’s orders and not kill Luna in the process. But even that was denied her… Now she is alone, like always. Lei Magus wanted her alive, yes, but only for his own purposes. The demons are indeed, too few in number. To lose even one would be nothing short of catastrophic in the upcoming war. So he wanted her alive to fight for him, and for the Demons’ cause.

But that didn’t really interest her right now.  Luna must hate her by now, of that she had no doubt. She wanted the other woman to understand, hoped that she would understand and end it all, stop the misery for the both of them. But she knew Luna, and knew that she wasn’t that type of person. Perhaps Luna’s loyalty was what attracted her to the Knight in the first place. Loyalty that was not only to Cepheed, but to her friends as well…and Xelloss…

            That felt like a knife twisting inside her and she closed her eyes, not wanting to reach out via the mental link they once had…and find nothing. The void would swallow her whole, she was sure, the void from the absence of the one who had stayed with her the longest. And now…

Her master, her best friend, her son…all of them were no longer with her in the way that mattered. She was alone.

And for the first time in what seemed like a million lifetimes, she felt like crying again.

“Mother?”

Her eyes lifted as Xelana walked in, carrying a tray.

“ Are you feeling better?” she asked as she set the tray down and sat down on the bed. Xellas found herself trying not to cry as her daughter peered at her from under long bangs with concerned eyes.

“ Fine.” The Beastmaster managed to answer without her voice wavering too much. “ Just fine.”

**

            Silence.

            The room was slightly darkened, the oppressive darkness slightly lifted by a few brave candles that held up the semblance of light. The door was heavy and the earthen walls muted any and all sound that chanced to make it down here. In the middle of the room was a blond woman sitting silently in the semi-darkness.

Silence, so she could finally think about everything, about everything that had happened…except it wasn’t really silence. Even though her ears couldn’t detect anything except for the comfortable low buzz of sounds that passed for silence, voices kept floating up at her from the well of memory.

“ It’s been awhile, Xellas-sama.”

How long had it been? A thousand years? More? Less? She had slept so long, with nothing but the memory of what passed for happy times before and glimpses of the possible future to sustain her. When she had first been Unsealed, she had been so glad that he remembered her, still called her master despite their shattered link, despite the thousand years.

            Absently, she sat and stared off into space, her hands combing slowly through her long wavy hair.

            “ I will be seeing you, Xellas-sama.”

            And he stayed with her, providing her with an unconscious sense of security. He didn’t change. Her children didn’t change. Her Island and her domain didn’t change. All was all right with the world.

But the truth was…

“ Our link was broken a thousand years ago.”

And that was the truth. That was the end of the link between them, because other than the creator-creation relationship, there was nothing between them. He was not her real son, and she was not his real mother. Not in any sense of the words. There was nothing between them.

Xellas lowered her hands, then stared at them, folded and palms up, in her lap blankly. She realized that in the moment that he chose to disobey her direct order, though she must have realized it earlier, subconsciously. He had kept it from her until the last possible moment…was he trying to save himself, or to protect her? Did it matter?

She knew that it didn’t.

            And that was that. Her son was gone…maybe he never existed in the first place.

            “ Something’s bothering you, Xellas. Want to talk outside?”

            And what about Luna?

            The Beastmaster shook her head and stood up. That one she could berate herself for. Hindsight was perfect and looking back, she knew that she should’ve never became best friends with the enigmatic yet charismatic woman that was her worst enemy.

“ Xellas, he’s just using you!”

“ He’s just testing your loyalty!”

“ Is his order worth obeying, if it means death?”

            But the sad thing was…

“I’m sorry too, Xellas.”

            She had a nagging suspicion…

“ I didn’t expect gratitude, especially from you.”

            …That if she had to do it again, she would’ve made the exact same mistakes, over and over, as many times as she had to. Despite it all, it was still Luna that understood her, because they were the same. People with incredible power…but it was power that came with the positions that forced them to do things, to shoulder responsibilities, that they never wanted. She was a kindred spirit that also felt the power as a curse, sometimes.

                        “ Are we still friends, Xellas?”

Who said Mazoku can’t love?

            If we can’t love, then why does my chest hurt? She wondered as she absently gazed at the knife that she called to her hands. She remembered from a long time ago…a similar knife. She had held that knife with the same despair, so many lifetimes ago, but there was no hate this time. Where did the hate and anger go? If only she hated, it would be all right. Everything would balance out if she could hate them.

            This was what Dolphin felt, she now knew, this incredibly strong desire and equally strong inability to hate. It was what drove the empty-eyed woman to insanity, and the Beastmaster couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for what she did.

            But she didn’t want to be insane. Her eyes hardened. She can’t be insane; the world was already insane enough without her adding to it. Dolphin had escaped into oblivion, but she refused to do the same. She had to be stronger than that…she had to.

            With one hand, she gently twisted the heavy fall of golden hair until it was one long rope. The end trailed off a few inches above the floor, and she fingered the long strands, feeling her bangs tickle as she moved her face slightly.

            The chill of the blade stabbed into her as she placed the back of it against her neck. It was difficult but not impossible, once she worked out the right motions, to saw through the thick rope of her hair. Wisps of the shortened hair flew around her face, framing it in wavy curls as she went on doggedly until most of the golden mass was on the ground, a long yellow snake fanning out on the lush carpet.

            The mirror she summoned showed a strange woman staring back at her. Her skin was tanned against the whiteness of her dress, her eyes hard and unflinching. The vivid red slashes on both sides of her face stood out clearly among the tan and gold. Her wild, wavy hair made her look exotic and feral…dangerous. More so than before, when the longer, almost floor length strands had lent a sense of laziness or complicity to her image.

            That was Xellas Metallium, the mother, the friend.

            She smiled at her reflection, and it smiled back, the blood red lips forming some sort of snarling smile. It looked terrifying.

            And now she is Xellas Metallium, the Beastmaster.

**

            Lei Magus didn’t seem to be surprised when the Demon Lord materialized in his throne room. He looked up nonchalantly, then smiled as he saw her, bright white and gold a contrast to all the darkness that surrounded her.

            “I have returned, Lei Magus-sama.” She purred, walking forward and kneeling at his feet. He fingered a strand of her shortened hair briefly before helping her up.

            “Welcome back, Beastmaster.”

End